My Soul to Take
Page 73
I stared across the countertop at my dad, mesmerized, my supper forgotten.
The bastard took her instead. My fathers fist hit the tile hard enough to shake the whole bar, and his jaw bulged with fresh fury. He just looked at Darby, and she collapsed. I had to lunge for you, to keep you from hitting the ground when she fell.
Kaylee, breathe, Nash said, rubbing my back. At some point during the story, Id stopped inhaling, and didnt even realize it until Nash spoke.
She died because of me? My hands fisted, and my fingernails bit into my palms.
No. Baby, no. My dad leaned forward then, to look directly into my eyes. She died because of me. He took my hands and wouldnt let them go, even when I tugged halfheartedly. Because I insisted on going out. Because I swerved to avoid the deer. Because I wasnt strong enough to make him take me instead. None of it was your fault.
But nothing he said could make me feel better. I was supposed to die, and because I hadnt, my mother had. And even if she hadnt, my father would have. Or maybe one of the people in the other car. The bottom line was that I was alive when I should have been dead, and my mother had paid the price.
Soborrowed time? I twisted the knob on the stove to turn it off, and moved the pot onto a cold burner, acting out of habit, because I was numb with shock. Im living my mothers life now? Is that what Aunt Val meant?
Yes. My father sat back on his stool, giving me plenty of space. Youll live until she was supposed to die. But dont worry about that. Im sure she would have had a very long life.
And thats when I burst into tears.
Id held back until then, my sorrow eclipsed by overwhelming guilt over being the cause of my mothers death. But thinking about how long her life should have beenThat I couldnt handle.
Nash cleared his throat, drawing our attention. She knew the risk, right, Mr. Cavanaugh? He stared at my father with a blatantly expectant look on his face. Kaylees mom knew what she was doing, right?
Of course. My dad nodded firmly. She probably didnt even realize Id planned to make the exchange myself. She was willing to pay the price, or she would never have sung for you. I justwanted to save her too. It was supposed to be me, but I lost you both that night. And I never really got you back, did I?
I forced back my next sob, rubbing spent tears from my cheeks with my palms. I was getting really good at not-crying. Im right here, Dad. I set the strainer in the sink and dumped the pasta into it, then slammed the empty pot down on the countertop. You left.
I had to.He sighed and shook his head. At least, I thought I did. He came after you again, Kaylee. The reaper was furious that we saved you. He took your mother, but then he came back for you, two nights later. In the hospital. I would never have known it was coming if your grandmother hadnt come in from Ireland after the wreck. She practically lived in your room with me, and she got a premonition of your death.
Wait, I was supposed to die again? My hand hesitated over the strainer.
No. My father shook his head vehemently. No. Your mother and I angered the reaper when we saved you. He came back for you out of spite. Your mother wasnt hurt in the accident, and you were living on her time. Theres no way she should have died two days after you would have. So when he came for you the second time, I called him on it.
Did he show himself? Nash asked, and I glanced to my right to see him staring at my father, as fascinated as I was.
My dad nodded. He was an arrogant little demon.
So what happened? I asked.
I punched him.
For a moment, we stared at him in silence. You punched the reaper? I asked, and my hand fell from the strainer onto the edge of the sink.
Yeah. He chuckled at the memory, and his grin brought out one of my own. I couldnt remember the last time Id seen my father smile. Broke his nose.
How is that possible? I asked Nash, thinking of his sort-of-friendship with Tod.
They have to take on physical form to interact with any physical object, he said, fiddling with the long cardboard box the cheese had come in. They cant be killed, but they can definitely feel pain.
And you know this how? I asked, pretty sure I knew the answer to that one too.
Nash grinned. Tod and I dont always get along. But then he turned back to my dad, serious again. Why did the reaper come after Kaylee a second time?
I dont know, but I was afraid hed do it again. My father paused, and his half grin faded into a somber look of regret. I sent you to Brendon to keep you safe. I was worried that if I stayed with you, hed end up taking you too. So I sent you away. Im sorry, Kaylee.
I know. I wasnt quite up to accepting his apology yet, though the fact that he clearly meant it helped quite a bit. I dumped the pasta back into the empty pot and followed it with two fistfuls of cheese cubes. Then I turned the burner on medium heat and added salt, a little milk, and a spoonful of Aunt Vals low-calorie margarine.
I stared into the pot as I stirred. How long are you staying?
The bastard took her instead. My fathers fist hit the tile hard enough to shake the whole bar, and his jaw bulged with fresh fury. He just looked at Darby, and she collapsed. I had to lunge for you, to keep you from hitting the ground when she fell.
Kaylee, breathe, Nash said, rubbing my back. At some point during the story, Id stopped inhaling, and didnt even realize it until Nash spoke.
She died because of me? My hands fisted, and my fingernails bit into my palms.
No. Baby, no. My dad leaned forward then, to look directly into my eyes. She died because of me. He took my hands and wouldnt let them go, even when I tugged halfheartedly. Because I insisted on going out. Because I swerved to avoid the deer. Because I wasnt strong enough to make him take me instead. None of it was your fault.
But nothing he said could make me feel better. I was supposed to die, and because I hadnt, my mother had. And even if she hadnt, my father would have. Or maybe one of the people in the other car. The bottom line was that I was alive when I should have been dead, and my mother had paid the price.
Soborrowed time? I twisted the knob on the stove to turn it off, and moved the pot onto a cold burner, acting out of habit, because I was numb with shock. Im living my mothers life now? Is that what Aunt Val meant?
Yes. My father sat back on his stool, giving me plenty of space. Youll live until she was supposed to die. But dont worry about that. Im sure she would have had a very long life.
And thats when I burst into tears.
Id held back until then, my sorrow eclipsed by overwhelming guilt over being the cause of my mothers death. But thinking about how long her life should have beenThat I couldnt handle.
Nash cleared his throat, drawing our attention. She knew the risk, right, Mr. Cavanaugh? He stared at my father with a blatantly expectant look on his face. Kaylees mom knew what she was doing, right?
Of course. My dad nodded firmly. She probably didnt even realize Id planned to make the exchange myself. She was willing to pay the price, or she would never have sung for you. I justwanted to save her too. It was supposed to be me, but I lost you both that night. And I never really got you back, did I?
I forced back my next sob, rubbing spent tears from my cheeks with my palms. I was getting really good at not-crying. Im right here, Dad. I set the strainer in the sink and dumped the pasta into it, then slammed the empty pot down on the countertop. You left.
I had to.He sighed and shook his head. At least, I thought I did. He came after you again, Kaylee. The reaper was furious that we saved you. He took your mother, but then he came back for you, two nights later. In the hospital. I would never have known it was coming if your grandmother hadnt come in from Ireland after the wreck. She practically lived in your room with me, and she got a premonition of your death.
Wait, I was supposed to die again? My hand hesitated over the strainer.
No. My father shook his head vehemently. No. Your mother and I angered the reaper when we saved you. He came back for you out of spite. Your mother wasnt hurt in the accident, and you were living on her time. Theres no way she should have died two days after you would have. So when he came for you the second time, I called him on it.
Did he show himself? Nash asked, and I glanced to my right to see him staring at my father, as fascinated as I was.
My dad nodded. He was an arrogant little demon.
So what happened? I asked.
I punched him.
For a moment, we stared at him in silence. You punched the reaper? I asked, and my hand fell from the strainer onto the edge of the sink.
Yeah. He chuckled at the memory, and his grin brought out one of my own. I couldnt remember the last time Id seen my father smile. Broke his nose.
How is that possible? I asked Nash, thinking of his sort-of-friendship with Tod.
They have to take on physical form to interact with any physical object, he said, fiddling with the long cardboard box the cheese had come in. They cant be killed, but they can definitely feel pain.
And you know this how? I asked, pretty sure I knew the answer to that one too.
Nash grinned. Tod and I dont always get along. But then he turned back to my dad, serious again. Why did the reaper come after Kaylee a second time?
I dont know, but I was afraid hed do it again. My father paused, and his half grin faded into a somber look of regret. I sent you to Brendon to keep you safe. I was worried that if I stayed with you, hed end up taking you too. So I sent you away. Im sorry, Kaylee.
I know. I wasnt quite up to accepting his apology yet, though the fact that he clearly meant it helped quite a bit. I dumped the pasta back into the empty pot and followed it with two fistfuls of cheese cubes. Then I turned the burner on medium heat and added salt, a little milk, and a spoonful of Aunt Vals low-calorie margarine.
I stared into the pot as I stirred. How long are you staying?
