Never Enough
Page 13
Tina had refused to allow him into her hospital room so he’d stayed with Jules while Gillian was in Portland. No use dragging him down there only to be rejected by Tina.
Throughout his childhood she’d talked to him about Tina. She wanted to be sure Miles knew Tina in some way. But Miles was her son. Period. It did not matter where Miles came from, only that he’d come and that was that. She simply accepted that he needed to understand the dark sides of Tina as well or he’d be vulnerable should she ever try to manipulate Miles.
It burned in her belly even then, thinking about her sister and the way she’d simply wasted her life like she had an unlimited supply. Gillian stood there in the cold on her porch, looking out over the life she’d built for her family. She’d built it and no one would tear it apart.
So Miles had assured her that he felt bad, but almost like it had happened to a stranger. He’d been true to his word, bouncing back quickly to his normal behavior. Hanging out with his friends, going to school, passing his classes, though she had to keep on him about turning his assignments in for his humanities class. The boy had actually done the work but just hadn’t bothered to turn it in. Oy! She’d been right annoyed at the little monkey over that one.
She’d taken away his computer, his phone and his television and he’d suddenly remembered how to turn his work in.
Tina was a stranger to him and the ache of that lived in Gillian’s heart. That her sister had given up this incredible person and had lost out on what had kept Gillian excited to wake up each day.
She had this life. With this house and her son. The vegetable garden they’d put in three years before. The paint on the kitchen walls they’d just chosen on a whim while at the hardware store. The trees all around. This was home and she’d been blessed something fierce to have it.
She went back inside and headed to her piano, pausing to turn the music back on. Benny Goodman’s “Sing, Sing, Sing” filled her house and made her smile.
She cleaned up the sheet music, tucking it away for the next lesson. That month she’d taken on two new students, which would pay for the vacation she was planning to go on with Miles to Washington, D.C., in February. They’d swing up to New York after to see one of her old school friends play the Met.
She decided to catch up on some work e-mail before Miles got home from school. Maybe they’d go get milk shakes and see Cal’s game.
Instead she’d opened her door to find Cal standing there. “What? Is everything all right?” She pulled him inside. “Cal?”
“I’ve just had a conversation with and then paperwork verifying that Adrian Brown wants Miles to submit to a DNA test to ascertain if he is indeed the biological father.”
“Fuckitall. I thought I was done with him forever.”
Cal laughed then, relaxing. “I’m glad you’re taking this so well. I wasn’t sure how you would after the way you two parted the last time.”
“Oh, I’m right murderous, don’t mistake me. This is what happens when you try to do something good. But Miles will be home soon and I can’t lose it. I started this stupid f**king thing, now I’m stuck.”
“I’m sorry. But this way it can move forward and you don’t have to deal with any abuse from him. All communication is to go through his legal team. You’re not to contact him in any way.”
“Whot?”
Cal flinched. “Christ, we got to the place where you lose the end of your words really fast.”
“That . . .” She didn’t even have words for what he was. “I gave him my information at the very beginning. Since then I have not been the one to initiate contact. Each time he’s contacted me and then he’s been a dick on his way out.”
She began to pace. “He’s accused me of all manner of crimes and falsehoods, and now through his attorneys he’s coming at me with some edict that I can’t contact him? When he’s doing the contacting? Making me sound like a stalker or summat. I ought to get an order that he can’t contact me at all, or my minor son. Hmpf, tell me I can’t do something I never done!” She paused and then laughed. “Bet you’re getting right scared I’m going to go all crazy low-class London on your ass and then you’ll have to clean it up and make me all right before Miles gets home.”
She sighed as he goggled at her. “Oh, I know you can’t do any of that. And I know you’d let me get it all out before you started to pet me and tell me I was pretty to get me calmed down again. He’s a cock, but let’s do this on my schedule. I most certainly won’t be contacting him. If he is indeed Miles’s father, we can move on to the next step. I’ll have to tell Miles part of the story. I can’t consent to having his DNA tested without his knowledge.”
“For the record, I knew you’d work your way through it. I just, well, I apologize for missing just how much he hurt you with these accusations. I’m sorry for that. I know it doesn’t help to tell you this happens frequently in these sorts of cases. I know one of his attorneys, went to school together. He’s a good guy. I don’t think they meant it in any aggressive or disrespectful way.”
She waved it away. It didn’t matter. She couldn’t avoid it so she may as well control it and make sure it was over as quickly and efficiently as possible.
“Fine.” She paused and patted his arm. “No, I mean it. Let’s just do this. I’ll call the pediatrician’s office now. God, is that something you just make an appointment for with your regular doctor? Can’t say as I’ve done this before.”
Throughout his childhood she’d talked to him about Tina. She wanted to be sure Miles knew Tina in some way. But Miles was her son. Period. It did not matter where Miles came from, only that he’d come and that was that. She simply accepted that he needed to understand the dark sides of Tina as well or he’d be vulnerable should she ever try to manipulate Miles.
It burned in her belly even then, thinking about her sister and the way she’d simply wasted her life like she had an unlimited supply. Gillian stood there in the cold on her porch, looking out over the life she’d built for her family. She’d built it and no one would tear it apart.
So Miles had assured her that he felt bad, but almost like it had happened to a stranger. He’d been true to his word, bouncing back quickly to his normal behavior. Hanging out with his friends, going to school, passing his classes, though she had to keep on him about turning his assignments in for his humanities class. The boy had actually done the work but just hadn’t bothered to turn it in. Oy! She’d been right annoyed at the little monkey over that one.
She’d taken away his computer, his phone and his television and he’d suddenly remembered how to turn his work in.
Tina was a stranger to him and the ache of that lived in Gillian’s heart. That her sister had given up this incredible person and had lost out on what had kept Gillian excited to wake up each day.
She had this life. With this house and her son. The vegetable garden they’d put in three years before. The paint on the kitchen walls they’d just chosen on a whim while at the hardware store. The trees all around. This was home and she’d been blessed something fierce to have it.
She went back inside and headed to her piano, pausing to turn the music back on. Benny Goodman’s “Sing, Sing, Sing” filled her house and made her smile.
She cleaned up the sheet music, tucking it away for the next lesson. That month she’d taken on two new students, which would pay for the vacation she was planning to go on with Miles to Washington, D.C., in February. They’d swing up to New York after to see one of her old school friends play the Met.
She decided to catch up on some work e-mail before Miles got home from school. Maybe they’d go get milk shakes and see Cal’s game.
Instead she’d opened her door to find Cal standing there. “What? Is everything all right?” She pulled him inside. “Cal?”
“I’ve just had a conversation with and then paperwork verifying that Adrian Brown wants Miles to submit to a DNA test to ascertain if he is indeed the biological father.”
“Fuckitall. I thought I was done with him forever.”
Cal laughed then, relaxing. “I’m glad you’re taking this so well. I wasn’t sure how you would after the way you two parted the last time.”
“Oh, I’m right murderous, don’t mistake me. This is what happens when you try to do something good. But Miles will be home soon and I can’t lose it. I started this stupid f**king thing, now I’m stuck.”
“I’m sorry. But this way it can move forward and you don’t have to deal with any abuse from him. All communication is to go through his legal team. You’re not to contact him in any way.”
“Whot?”
Cal flinched. “Christ, we got to the place where you lose the end of your words really fast.”
“That . . .” She didn’t even have words for what he was. “I gave him my information at the very beginning. Since then I have not been the one to initiate contact. Each time he’s contacted me and then he’s been a dick on his way out.”
She began to pace. “He’s accused me of all manner of crimes and falsehoods, and now through his attorneys he’s coming at me with some edict that I can’t contact him? When he’s doing the contacting? Making me sound like a stalker or summat. I ought to get an order that he can’t contact me at all, or my minor son. Hmpf, tell me I can’t do something I never done!” She paused and then laughed. “Bet you’re getting right scared I’m going to go all crazy low-class London on your ass and then you’ll have to clean it up and make me all right before Miles gets home.”
She sighed as he goggled at her. “Oh, I know you can’t do any of that. And I know you’d let me get it all out before you started to pet me and tell me I was pretty to get me calmed down again. He’s a cock, but let’s do this on my schedule. I most certainly won’t be contacting him. If he is indeed Miles’s father, we can move on to the next step. I’ll have to tell Miles part of the story. I can’t consent to having his DNA tested without his knowledge.”
“For the record, I knew you’d work your way through it. I just, well, I apologize for missing just how much he hurt you with these accusations. I’m sorry for that. I know it doesn’t help to tell you this happens frequently in these sorts of cases. I know one of his attorneys, went to school together. He’s a good guy. I don’t think they meant it in any aggressive or disrespectful way.”
She waved it away. It didn’t matter. She couldn’t avoid it so she may as well control it and make sure it was over as quickly and efficiently as possible.
“Fine.” She paused and patted his arm. “No, I mean it. Let’s just do this. I’ll call the pediatrician’s office now. God, is that something you just make an appointment for with your regular doctor? Can’t say as I’ve done this before.”
