Never Enough
Page 2
“He didn’t know. She swore to me that she never told him. I tried to put myself in this guy’s place, you know? What would my life be without Miles? What if I had a kid like him out there and didn’t know it? It’s not right, Jules. Not right that she never told him, and it would only be me furthering that to not tell him.”
“Well, damn it, Gillian, now is not the time for morals.”
Gillian laughed without humor. “Jules, they’re all I’ve got. I’m responsible for raising that boy into a man. What lesson would I be teaching him if I didn’t find his dad as I promised?”
“What if he takes Miles from you? Have you thought of that? Can you really take that risk?”
“No. I can’t. I have an appointment with Cal in a few hours. Before I tell the dad, I have to know my adoption is solid.”
“At least you’re doing that.” Jules shook her head and looked back to Gillian, reaching out and squeezing her hand. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being so judgy. You are doing the right thing, and of course this is about doing what’s right for your son.”
“I’m scared. It’s . . . He’s a rock star. A big one.”
“What? Really? Why didn’t she go after him for money, I wonder?”
“I don’t know. She wasn’t all bad, you know. She had her moments and I do believe she gave Miles up for good reasons instead of selfish ones.”
“Yes, and then had nothing to do with him since.”
True, and yet, in the end, it had been a good thing. “That was for the best too. Miles is my son. Mine. She knew it. Even our mother knew it. Tina loved Miles in her own way. Loved me too.”
Jules sighed. “So who is it? How’d she meet him?”
“She met him when she was waitressing in some diner on Sunset Boulevard, she said. She wouldn’t say much more, but that she thought he was an okay guy and that he deserved to know about his son.”
Jules slammed her palm against the table with a squeal. “Adrian Brown. I knew it! It’s him, isn’t it?” Jules demanded as Gillian gaped at her friend.
“How did you know that? Did you know and never tell me?”
“Are you shitting me? You said rock star and immediately I thought of Miles’s face. And hello, have you seen Adrian Brown?”
Jules got up and tugged Gillian over to the far wall where Miles’s picture hung, and pointed. “Look at that.” She pulled her phone out and then shoved it at Gillian. On the screen was Adrian Brown’s website with his picture.
“Well bloody f**king hell.”
Cal Whaley looked Gillian over as she sat down on the bench next to him. He handed her a coffee. “I know how you get with too much caffeine, so it’s decaf.”
“It’s that or scotch, and it’s early yet. Tell me, Cal. Am I safe? Is he safe with me?”
“Yes, baby, I told you you were. Look, you adopted him legally. You’ve been his mother for thirteen years. You take him to the dentist, you know what his favorite foods are. You are his mother and Adrian Brown can’t change that.”
“He can’t take Miles from me?”
“If you were like your sister, he might be able to. But you’re not. You had no way of knowing who Miles’s dad was until your sister told you, and frankly, I’d be disinclined to believe her without a DNA test anyway. God knows this guy is going to want one. Even so, he could fight for visitation. You need to be prepared for that. And just because he can’t tear your adoption apart doesn’t mean he won’t try to. If you mean to do this, you have to be prepared. Who knows, he may run the other way.”
“I feel like a right selfish bitch because part of me hopes he does. I can’t stand the thought of it. Of someone hurting Miles or trying to take him. I do want him to have his father in his life if the guy cares. Who am I to make the choice for either of them? At the same time, he’s my boy and I will be forced to cut a bitch if he gets out of line.”
“Does this mean you want to go ahead with it?”
She sighed. “I haven’t told Miles yet. I don’t plan to. Not until I know for sure this guy won’t be a jerk. But if my legal position is safe . . . well, I made a promise and it’s the right thing to do. Right?”
Cal cocked his head before leaning in to kiss her cheek. “You’re a very do-the-right-thing sort of woman. Miles has learned a lot from you. You’re not either one of them, you know. Not your mother and certainly not your father.”
“So you say. I want Miles to have everything I didn’t. A safe and loving, stable home. He’s not had a dad, but he’s had you and Jules’s dad too. Do you have any idea how to find him? This rock star?”
Cal handed over a file. “You have given that to Miles. As for the rock star? We can go one of two ways. His brother owns a tattoo shop in Seattle. Adrian lives here in the Northwest and he’s noted for being very close with his family. I can contact his management and then go through his attorneys. Or I can contact the brother and try to go a more informal route.”
“All this time he’s lived here?” She shook her head, astounded. “I’ll do it myself, next week. I want to see this guy in person. Not that I’d necessarily judge anyone by a family member, god knows I’d hope people wouldn’t do that to me. But if I’m going to expose my family to theirs, I want to see it myself.”
“Well, damn it, Gillian, now is not the time for morals.”
Gillian laughed without humor. “Jules, they’re all I’ve got. I’m responsible for raising that boy into a man. What lesson would I be teaching him if I didn’t find his dad as I promised?”
“What if he takes Miles from you? Have you thought of that? Can you really take that risk?”
“No. I can’t. I have an appointment with Cal in a few hours. Before I tell the dad, I have to know my adoption is solid.”
“At least you’re doing that.” Jules shook her head and looked back to Gillian, reaching out and squeezing her hand. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being so judgy. You are doing the right thing, and of course this is about doing what’s right for your son.”
“I’m scared. It’s . . . He’s a rock star. A big one.”
“What? Really? Why didn’t she go after him for money, I wonder?”
“I don’t know. She wasn’t all bad, you know. She had her moments and I do believe she gave Miles up for good reasons instead of selfish ones.”
“Yes, and then had nothing to do with him since.”
True, and yet, in the end, it had been a good thing. “That was for the best too. Miles is my son. Mine. She knew it. Even our mother knew it. Tina loved Miles in her own way. Loved me too.”
Jules sighed. “So who is it? How’d she meet him?”
“She met him when she was waitressing in some diner on Sunset Boulevard, she said. She wouldn’t say much more, but that she thought he was an okay guy and that he deserved to know about his son.”
Jules slammed her palm against the table with a squeal. “Adrian Brown. I knew it! It’s him, isn’t it?” Jules demanded as Gillian gaped at her friend.
“How did you know that? Did you know and never tell me?”
“Are you shitting me? You said rock star and immediately I thought of Miles’s face. And hello, have you seen Adrian Brown?”
Jules got up and tugged Gillian over to the far wall where Miles’s picture hung, and pointed. “Look at that.” She pulled her phone out and then shoved it at Gillian. On the screen was Adrian Brown’s website with his picture.
“Well bloody f**king hell.”
Cal Whaley looked Gillian over as she sat down on the bench next to him. He handed her a coffee. “I know how you get with too much caffeine, so it’s decaf.”
“It’s that or scotch, and it’s early yet. Tell me, Cal. Am I safe? Is he safe with me?”
“Yes, baby, I told you you were. Look, you adopted him legally. You’ve been his mother for thirteen years. You take him to the dentist, you know what his favorite foods are. You are his mother and Adrian Brown can’t change that.”
“He can’t take Miles from me?”
“If you were like your sister, he might be able to. But you’re not. You had no way of knowing who Miles’s dad was until your sister told you, and frankly, I’d be disinclined to believe her without a DNA test anyway. God knows this guy is going to want one. Even so, he could fight for visitation. You need to be prepared for that. And just because he can’t tear your adoption apart doesn’t mean he won’t try to. If you mean to do this, you have to be prepared. Who knows, he may run the other way.”
“I feel like a right selfish bitch because part of me hopes he does. I can’t stand the thought of it. Of someone hurting Miles or trying to take him. I do want him to have his father in his life if the guy cares. Who am I to make the choice for either of them? At the same time, he’s my boy and I will be forced to cut a bitch if he gets out of line.”
“Does this mean you want to go ahead with it?”
She sighed. “I haven’t told Miles yet. I don’t plan to. Not until I know for sure this guy won’t be a jerk. But if my legal position is safe . . . well, I made a promise and it’s the right thing to do. Right?”
Cal cocked his head before leaning in to kiss her cheek. “You’re a very do-the-right-thing sort of woman. Miles has learned a lot from you. You’re not either one of them, you know. Not your mother and certainly not your father.”
“So you say. I want Miles to have everything I didn’t. A safe and loving, stable home. He’s not had a dad, but he’s had you and Jules’s dad too. Do you have any idea how to find him? This rock star?”
Cal handed over a file. “You have given that to Miles. As for the rock star? We can go one of two ways. His brother owns a tattoo shop in Seattle. Adrian lives here in the Northwest and he’s noted for being very close with his family. I can contact his management and then go through his attorneys. Or I can contact the brother and try to go a more informal route.”
“All this time he’s lived here?” She shook her head, astounded. “I’ll do it myself, next week. I want to see this guy in person. Not that I’d necessarily judge anyone by a family member, god knows I’d hope people wouldn’t do that to me. But if I’m going to expose my family to theirs, I want to see it myself.”
