Never Enough
Page 20
She poured them some juice and returned to the island. “And no, it wasn’t her choice to make and I’m sorry she robbed you of your son and Miles of his dad. All I can do is try to make it right from now on.”
His anger ebbed a little. “Thank you. I can’t understand it, why she’d have the baby and then give him up without even contacting me.”
She looked him dead on. “My sister is dead. Her reasons were her own. She never shared them with me, though I did ask. She liked . . . attention. Whatever those reasons were, there is nothing to be gained in your going over it again and again. I’m not trying to rob you of your anger; you have every right to be mad. Talk to a professional if you need to, and heaven knows you might. But she’s not here. Miles is.”
“Last night my sister told me bitterness was useless in this situation.”
Gillian shrugged. “You said you wanted to move quickly and start being a dad. Would you like to come for dinner tomorrow night? It’ll give me a chance to talk to Miles first. Prepare him. I need to be there for this first meeting and it should be small and on familiar turf.”
“Did you talk to someone about this?” His emotions ran riot, but he continued to be impressed with how she put Miles first over and over.
“I did, yes. Cal, that’s my attorney”—she paused to send him a look—“he hooked me up with a counselor he’s worked with before. She gave me some handouts.” She left the room and came back shortly. “Here. This is what she gave me. It might help.” She thrust an envelope into his grateful hands.
“I’d love to come to dinner. I appreciate how supportive of all this you’re being. I don’t know what I’d do in your place.”
“Parenting is hard work. The hardest job I’ve ever had. What else can I be? Even if you don’t like me, I’m Miles’s mum and I hope we can work through this mess if for no other reason than to make things better for him.”
“I’m surrounded by parents and I guess I assumed it would just come naturally.”
She laughed and his desire roared back to life. They’d both played it cool since the kiss, but neither of them had forgotten it. She’d looked at his mouth enough that he was sure of that fact.
“Miles is a good kid, but he’d try a saint sometimes. Naturally? I don’t know about that. Maybe it’s just me, but I wouldn’t say it was natural as much as trying, but alleviated by the fact that you love this person so much you’ll endure attitude and having to harp on silly stuff to train them to be good adults. Though I’m not really surrounded by parents. Miles has a lot of aunts and uncles, but I’m the only one in the group who has kids. I could be mucking it all up but not know it.”
He doubted it. She seemed eminently capable.
“Anyway. Why don’t you show up around six? Would you like to help make pizza? The papers said that an activity might be good, to keep the nervousness at bay but also start building a relationship.”
“Hell, I’m the one who’s nervous,” he mumbled, not used to the feeling at all.
“Come tomorrow night. I’m biased, but Miles is a fabulous person. He’s smart and fun and he’s going to love you. He nearly passed out after meeting Erin yesterday.”
As it was designed to, it made him feel better. “I’ll be here at six.”
“It’s a Friday night so you might have plans, but if you don’t, and if you wanted to . . . we have a guest room and you’re welcome to it. The ferry is great and there’s always the bridge and driving around, but when it’s late, it’s late.” She shrugged and he caught her blush.
“I’ll see you tomorrow with my pajamas packed. We’ll play it by ear, as they say. But I’m . . . well, I’m grateful to you for sticking this out even when I was a total dick.”
“Try not to be one tomorrow and I might forgive you.”
He didn’t wipe that stupid grin off his face for hours.
Gillian looked at her son across the table. “So, I need to talk to you about something important.”
He paused momentarily in between giant shoveling bites to give her his attention.
She hoped she managed to do this with a minimum of scarring.
“I turned in all my homework, I swear. I did get a C minus on my math test.”
She made a mental note to scare him into confessing things more often. “No, not that. Though I’m glad to hear about the homework, not so much about the math test.” She took a deep breath and forged ahead. “You remember the test you had to take? The DNA test?”
He put his fork down and wiped his mouth, all his attention on her.
“We found your father, Miles. I’ve met him and he’d like to meet you. Would you like that?”
The line between his eyes deepened as he thought. “Well . . . what do you think? What’s he like? Will I have to go live with him?”
She got up and moved to sit next to him, hugging him tight. “Miles, I am your mother. Period. You live here with me. This is our house. I never would have sought him out if I wasn’t totally sure my rights as your mum were protected.”
He swallowed hard and nodded, brightening enough to shove half a dinner roll into his face. “ ’Kay then. So what’s he like?”
“He’s a musician.” She snorted a laugh.
“Oh my . . . dude! It’s Adrian Brown. That’s why Erin was here.” He jumped up. “Are you kidding me? Mum!”
His anger ebbed a little. “Thank you. I can’t understand it, why she’d have the baby and then give him up without even contacting me.”
She looked him dead on. “My sister is dead. Her reasons were her own. She never shared them with me, though I did ask. She liked . . . attention. Whatever those reasons were, there is nothing to be gained in your going over it again and again. I’m not trying to rob you of your anger; you have every right to be mad. Talk to a professional if you need to, and heaven knows you might. But she’s not here. Miles is.”
“Last night my sister told me bitterness was useless in this situation.”
Gillian shrugged. “You said you wanted to move quickly and start being a dad. Would you like to come for dinner tomorrow night? It’ll give me a chance to talk to Miles first. Prepare him. I need to be there for this first meeting and it should be small and on familiar turf.”
“Did you talk to someone about this?” His emotions ran riot, but he continued to be impressed with how she put Miles first over and over.
“I did, yes. Cal, that’s my attorney”—she paused to send him a look—“he hooked me up with a counselor he’s worked with before. She gave me some handouts.” She left the room and came back shortly. “Here. This is what she gave me. It might help.” She thrust an envelope into his grateful hands.
“I’d love to come to dinner. I appreciate how supportive of all this you’re being. I don’t know what I’d do in your place.”
“Parenting is hard work. The hardest job I’ve ever had. What else can I be? Even if you don’t like me, I’m Miles’s mum and I hope we can work through this mess if for no other reason than to make things better for him.”
“I’m surrounded by parents and I guess I assumed it would just come naturally.”
She laughed and his desire roared back to life. They’d both played it cool since the kiss, but neither of them had forgotten it. She’d looked at his mouth enough that he was sure of that fact.
“Miles is a good kid, but he’d try a saint sometimes. Naturally? I don’t know about that. Maybe it’s just me, but I wouldn’t say it was natural as much as trying, but alleviated by the fact that you love this person so much you’ll endure attitude and having to harp on silly stuff to train them to be good adults. Though I’m not really surrounded by parents. Miles has a lot of aunts and uncles, but I’m the only one in the group who has kids. I could be mucking it all up but not know it.”
He doubted it. She seemed eminently capable.
“Anyway. Why don’t you show up around six? Would you like to help make pizza? The papers said that an activity might be good, to keep the nervousness at bay but also start building a relationship.”
“Hell, I’m the one who’s nervous,” he mumbled, not used to the feeling at all.
“Come tomorrow night. I’m biased, but Miles is a fabulous person. He’s smart and fun and he’s going to love you. He nearly passed out after meeting Erin yesterday.”
As it was designed to, it made him feel better. “I’ll be here at six.”
“It’s a Friday night so you might have plans, but if you don’t, and if you wanted to . . . we have a guest room and you’re welcome to it. The ferry is great and there’s always the bridge and driving around, but when it’s late, it’s late.” She shrugged and he caught her blush.
“I’ll see you tomorrow with my pajamas packed. We’ll play it by ear, as they say. But I’m . . . well, I’m grateful to you for sticking this out even when I was a total dick.”
“Try not to be one tomorrow and I might forgive you.”
He didn’t wipe that stupid grin off his face for hours.
Gillian looked at her son across the table. “So, I need to talk to you about something important.”
He paused momentarily in between giant shoveling bites to give her his attention.
She hoped she managed to do this with a minimum of scarring.
“I turned in all my homework, I swear. I did get a C minus on my math test.”
She made a mental note to scare him into confessing things more often. “No, not that. Though I’m glad to hear about the homework, not so much about the math test.” She took a deep breath and forged ahead. “You remember the test you had to take? The DNA test?”
He put his fork down and wiped his mouth, all his attention on her.
“We found your father, Miles. I’ve met him and he’d like to meet you. Would you like that?”
The line between his eyes deepened as he thought. “Well . . . what do you think? What’s he like? Will I have to go live with him?”
She got up and moved to sit next to him, hugging him tight. “Miles, I am your mother. Period. You live here with me. This is our house. I never would have sought him out if I wasn’t totally sure my rights as your mum were protected.”
He swallowed hard and nodded, brightening enough to shove half a dinner roll into his face. “ ’Kay then. So what’s he like?”
“He’s a musician.” She snorted a laugh.
“Oh my . . . dude! It’s Adrian Brown. That’s why Erin was here.” He jumped up. “Are you kidding me? Mum!”
