Never Enough
Page 23
“Okay, that would be cool, I guess.” There was a but at the end of that sentence. Adrian could see it.
“Miles, I want to do this right, but I’ve only been a dad like two days and I have to apologize in advance for all the messing up I’m going to do. But I’m going to try really hard and I can do a better job if you talk to me so we can figure this out together. I know you don’t know me well, but you can trust me with what’s bothering you.”
“I like it here. I like my school and my friends and I love my animals. And I love Mum. I don’t want to leave her, or make her sad by ignoring her. I know Tina never told you and that sucks. Don’t tell Mum I said that one.” He grinned, sheepish, and Adrian let some of the tension go even as the resentment about Miles’s birth mother stoked. The woman wouldn’t let Adrian have his son but didn’t keep him herself either. She robbed them both.
But it wasn’t Gillian’s fault. While there was no doubt in Adrian’s mind that Gillian would move mountains for their son, there was also no doubt that she hadn’t known and had mothered his son. Their son.
“I know it’s not your mom’s fault. And I would never make you be anywhere you didn’t want to. I’d like you to spend time at my house. I’ve got several rooms for you to make your own. I even have a home studio if you want to jam. I want you to feel at home there too.” He leaned against the doorjamb, trying to remain relaxed and feeling all out of his element.
“Cool. Mum got me a cell phone for my birthday. I’m only supposed to have it on after school, but I could give you that number and maybe get yours.” Miles tipped his chin casually.
This would be all right. He took the phone and put his number in, letting Miles do the same.
“Dude! You have Willie Nelson’s phone number? That’s awesome.”
Adrian grinned, nodding. “It is awesome. He’s a very cool guy and I was lucky enough to do some work in the studio with him two years ago.”
“It’s pretty sweet that you know people like Erin and Willie Nelson. Did Mum tell you she named me after Miles Davis?”
“Mum?” Miles clambered downstairs and across the house to her. He was so happy it brought a prick of tears to her eyes.
“That’s me.”
“Two things. One, I invited Adrian to spend the night and he said you already had so he’s staying over and will you make French toast tomorrow? And, tell Adrian the name story.”
Adrian looked just as happy as Miles did. “Miles told me he was named after Miles Davis. And then he said you tell the story best. Lay it on me.”
“All right. On one condition: it is eleven and you need to head to bed after the story. Also, that was three things. Yes, I’ll make French toast tomorrow.” She kissed Miles’s forehead and he agreed.
She looked back to Adrian, pleased that Miles had put his arm around her waist and his head on her shoulder.
“The day I brought him home from the hospital, he didn’t have a name yet. But he was sweet and snuggly and we hung out as I tried to figure out what to do with a baby because I didn’t have the slightest idea.” She laughed at the memory.
“I kept looking into his face saying different names. He’d screw his mouth up or look sour, sometimes he looked bored or angry. He got fussy and we danced around the hotel room, me calling him Albert and William and Levi. But none fit.
“And Miles Davis came on the television. The Cool Jazz Sound. This documentary about him.” She met Adrian’s gaze and realized he knew what she meant. “I said, Lookie here, Baby Boy Forrester, it’s Miles Davis.”
Miles snuggled into her side and she snorted a laugh. “He stopped fussing immediately. He looked up at me with those big green eyes and blinked. That was that. I could have checked to see if he liked John since Coltrane was on the telly too. But I said, Oh, and there you are, Miles. Big name for a wee boy.” She said it in the same tone she always told it in, putting extra English into it, and Adrian laughed.
“And so I became Miles Blue Forrester.” That Miles always said it so proudly made her deeply happy.
“Erin will love this story,” Adrian assured her.
“We had a deal. To bed with you. I’ll see you in the morning.”
He let her hug him a little extra, and clung a little longer than normal. “I love you. I’ll be up in a few minutes, all right?”
He blushed. “Mum!”
“No shame in liking to have your mom tuck you in. I’ll see you in the morning.” Adrian and Miles clasped palms, each of them not quite knowing what to do yet. Gillian found the awkwardness of it sweet.
“Why don’t you go get your stuff?” She turned to Adrian once Miles had left. “When I come back downstairs I’ll show you where the guest room is and, if you like, we can have a fire on the back deck and share a bottle of wine if you’re not too tired.”
“That would be most welcome.” He moved to go and stopped just at her front door. “And thank you. For him. For this.”
Smiling, she went up to her son.
He’d managed to change into pajamas and get his face washed.
She sat on his bed. “I love you.” She kissed his forehead. “Big day for you. You okay? Want to talk?”
“He’s all right. He has Willie Nelson’s phone number. How awesome is that?”
“Pretty impressive.”
“He’s a big star. It’s weird. He doesn’t act like one, but he is.”
“Miles, I want to do this right, but I’ve only been a dad like two days and I have to apologize in advance for all the messing up I’m going to do. But I’m going to try really hard and I can do a better job if you talk to me so we can figure this out together. I know you don’t know me well, but you can trust me with what’s bothering you.”
“I like it here. I like my school and my friends and I love my animals. And I love Mum. I don’t want to leave her, or make her sad by ignoring her. I know Tina never told you and that sucks. Don’t tell Mum I said that one.” He grinned, sheepish, and Adrian let some of the tension go even as the resentment about Miles’s birth mother stoked. The woman wouldn’t let Adrian have his son but didn’t keep him herself either. She robbed them both.
But it wasn’t Gillian’s fault. While there was no doubt in Adrian’s mind that Gillian would move mountains for their son, there was also no doubt that she hadn’t known and had mothered his son. Their son.
“I know it’s not your mom’s fault. And I would never make you be anywhere you didn’t want to. I’d like you to spend time at my house. I’ve got several rooms for you to make your own. I even have a home studio if you want to jam. I want you to feel at home there too.” He leaned against the doorjamb, trying to remain relaxed and feeling all out of his element.
“Cool. Mum got me a cell phone for my birthday. I’m only supposed to have it on after school, but I could give you that number and maybe get yours.” Miles tipped his chin casually.
This would be all right. He took the phone and put his number in, letting Miles do the same.
“Dude! You have Willie Nelson’s phone number? That’s awesome.”
Adrian grinned, nodding. “It is awesome. He’s a very cool guy and I was lucky enough to do some work in the studio with him two years ago.”
“It’s pretty sweet that you know people like Erin and Willie Nelson. Did Mum tell you she named me after Miles Davis?”
“Mum?” Miles clambered downstairs and across the house to her. He was so happy it brought a prick of tears to her eyes.
“That’s me.”
“Two things. One, I invited Adrian to spend the night and he said you already had so he’s staying over and will you make French toast tomorrow? And, tell Adrian the name story.”
Adrian looked just as happy as Miles did. “Miles told me he was named after Miles Davis. And then he said you tell the story best. Lay it on me.”
“All right. On one condition: it is eleven and you need to head to bed after the story. Also, that was three things. Yes, I’ll make French toast tomorrow.” She kissed Miles’s forehead and he agreed.
She looked back to Adrian, pleased that Miles had put his arm around her waist and his head on her shoulder.
“The day I brought him home from the hospital, he didn’t have a name yet. But he was sweet and snuggly and we hung out as I tried to figure out what to do with a baby because I didn’t have the slightest idea.” She laughed at the memory.
“I kept looking into his face saying different names. He’d screw his mouth up or look sour, sometimes he looked bored or angry. He got fussy and we danced around the hotel room, me calling him Albert and William and Levi. But none fit.
“And Miles Davis came on the television. The Cool Jazz Sound. This documentary about him.” She met Adrian’s gaze and realized he knew what she meant. “I said, Lookie here, Baby Boy Forrester, it’s Miles Davis.”
Miles snuggled into her side and she snorted a laugh. “He stopped fussing immediately. He looked up at me with those big green eyes and blinked. That was that. I could have checked to see if he liked John since Coltrane was on the telly too. But I said, Oh, and there you are, Miles. Big name for a wee boy.” She said it in the same tone she always told it in, putting extra English into it, and Adrian laughed.
“And so I became Miles Blue Forrester.” That Miles always said it so proudly made her deeply happy.
“Erin will love this story,” Adrian assured her.
“We had a deal. To bed with you. I’ll see you in the morning.”
He let her hug him a little extra, and clung a little longer than normal. “I love you. I’ll be up in a few minutes, all right?”
He blushed. “Mum!”
“No shame in liking to have your mom tuck you in. I’ll see you in the morning.” Adrian and Miles clasped palms, each of them not quite knowing what to do yet. Gillian found the awkwardness of it sweet.
“Why don’t you go get your stuff?” She turned to Adrian once Miles had left. “When I come back downstairs I’ll show you where the guest room is and, if you like, we can have a fire on the back deck and share a bottle of wine if you’re not too tired.”
“That would be most welcome.” He moved to go and stopped just at her front door. “And thank you. For him. For this.”
Smiling, she went up to her son.
He’d managed to change into pajamas and get his face washed.
She sat on his bed. “I love you.” She kissed his forehead. “Big day for you. You okay? Want to talk?”
“He’s all right. He has Willie Nelson’s phone number. How awesome is that?”
“Pretty impressive.”
“He’s a big star. It’s weird. He doesn’t act like one, but he is.”
