Never Enough
Page 45
“It’s just I’ve spent Miles’s entire life trying to teach him about saving for things and waiting to have things you really want, and in just one week of being Adrian’s son, he’s got a brand-new room that could be an electronics showroom, and a swank new bike I’d never be able to afford in a million years. I feel petty and selfish and maybe even a little jealous that I can’t do the same for him.”
“This is going to be fine, you know.” Elise put an arm through one of Gillian’s and they began to walk again. “There’ll be bumps along the way. As such things go. You’re a strong person to have done what you have in bringing that boy and his dad together. We’ll work this all out because that’s what family does. Over time you’ll get used to all the interruptions when you’re out and about. Though”—she paused to look around—“perhaps you can draw him out of this self-imposed shell he’s retreated to.”
“How so?”
Elise readjusted Marti’s hat before she spoke again, clearly weighing her words. “I want to tell you because I think it’s good to understand him. I see how he looks at you and it’s not just as the woman who’s been mothering his kid. He’s had a few conversations with Brody about you, but they both pretend like I don’t see what’s totally obvious.” She snorted a laugh, still managing to sound elegant when she did it.
“But he’s a man, therefore he won’t say anything to protect you or something equally silly. It’s got to be hard, you know? Being recognized all the time. And while he loves his fans, it’s hard on him to feel like he’s on display every time he leaves the house. So he sticks to safe places. Our house, here, the café, the tavern and a few places we all eat as a group. I like it that he goes to Bainbridge to see you. I like that he’s pushing past his comfort zone to be part of Miles’s life. I think it’s good for him to realize there’s more than ten people and eight places he can be safe with.”
Gillian hadn’t known the extent of it, though his distrust of the unfamiliar was fairly obvious. Gillian knew what it felt like to not have enough safe places in your life. Knew the helplessness of it. It made her want to find Adrian and hug him.
“Thank you for saying that. It helps. As for how he looks at me . . .” Her words died as she looked toward downtown. “Well, we’re . . . I’m not used to this sort of sharing, but I’m trying to learn too.” She blushed and Elise squeezed her hand.
“You don’t have to say anything. I get it. More than you can know.”
“There you are!” Adrian came out onto the terrace with Miles at his side. “Your son and my sister just trash-talked me. Can you imagine? Where’s the gratitude, Miles?”
Miles, laughing, poked Adrian in the ribs with his elbow, playfully.
Gillian couldn’t help but smile at them both, playing together the way they did. Adrian encouraged Miles’s roughhousing side.
“Like puppies, the both of you.”
Adrian looked up with a grin and then over to Todd. “He eats like one too. Christ, Todd, you should see how much this boy can put away. He’ll fit in here just fine.”
At dinner, sitting at a table in a dining room that ran the length of the windows south of the kitchen, Erin maneuvered herself next to Gillian. “How’s it going? This has to be a bit much.”
“Funny how a glass of wine can take the edge off.”
Erin laughed and Alexander looked up from where he sat with Adrian. “Mah!” He hopped down and toddled around, holding on here and there, taking whatever helping hand a nearby adult gave until he reached not Erin, but Gillian.
“Up.” He added something that sounded rather like please and automatically, Gillian picked him up, plopping him into her lap, careful not to let him too near cutlery or anyone’s drink.
“He loves the ladies, does our Alexander.” Erin cocked her head at her son, who blew her a kiss. “I’m afraid he’s just as terminally charming as the rest of the men in this family. Luckily, we’re a hearty bunch of womenfolk and can whip them into shape.”
She paused to look at her son with affection. And then back to Gillian. “I want you to like us. I can’t pretend I don’t. I’m weird that way, I guess, but when I meet people I enjoy I get excited. I promise I won’t call you at two in the morning to make you tell me I’m pretty though. I have Ben and Todd for that.” She laughed, Alexander mimicking her.
“I was telling your brother how impossible it was not to like you. You’re rather irresistible. It runs in your family. Charm.” Gillian looked to Adrian and Miles, heads bent close, up to some sort of mischief. “Adorable, the whole lot of you.”
Erin barked out a laugh, though no one seemed to notice over their own laughter and talk.
“As compliments go, that’s up there near the top. Thank you. I know we’re sort of like the Borg, sweeping in and taking over with our bright colors and loud voices.”
Gillian really did like Erin.
“Oh, you’re not as bad as that. You all certainly make Miles happy. Counts for a lot with me.”
Alexander leaned his head back into Gillian’s chest to look up at her. “You’re just as bad as the rest.” She dropped a kiss to his forehead and he grinned.
“He’s worse. He’s a hybrid. With all these bossy men around, he’s just as bad as they are. Rennie and I have decided that having you in the family makes it way better for us odds-wise. You see, we drown in all these big old alpha males around here. It’s all we can do to hold our own. You even the odds, though you do bring another boy to the table.”
“This is going to be fine, you know.” Elise put an arm through one of Gillian’s and they began to walk again. “There’ll be bumps along the way. As such things go. You’re a strong person to have done what you have in bringing that boy and his dad together. We’ll work this all out because that’s what family does. Over time you’ll get used to all the interruptions when you’re out and about. Though”—she paused to look around—“perhaps you can draw him out of this self-imposed shell he’s retreated to.”
“How so?”
Elise readjusted Marti’s hat before she spoke again, clearly weighing her words. “I want to tell you because I think it’s good to understand him. I see how he looks at you and it’s not just as the woman who’s been mothering his kid. He’s had a few conversations with Brody about you, but they both pretend like I don’t see what’s totally obvious.” She snorted a laugh, still managing to sound elegant when she did it.
“But he’s a man, therefore he won’t say anything to protect you or something equally silly. It’s got to be hard, you know? Being recognized all the time. And while he loves his fans, it’s hard on him to feel like he’s on display every time he leaves the house. So he sticks to safe places. Our house, here, the café, the tavern and a few places we all eat as a group. I like it that he goes to Bainbridge to see you. I like that he’s pushing past his comfort zone to be part of Miles’s life. I think it’s good for him to realize there’s more than ten people and eight places he can be safe with.”
Gillian hadn’t known the extent of it, though his distrust of the unfamiliar was fairly obvious. Gillian knew what it felt like to not have enough safe places in your life. Knew the helplessness of it. It made her want to find Adrian and hug him.
“Thank you for saying that. It helps. As for how he looks at me . . .” Her words died as she looked toward downtown. “Well, we’re . . . I’m not used to this sort of sharing, but I’m trying to learn too.” She blushed and Elise squeezed her hand.
“You don’t have to say anything. I get it. More than you can know.”
“There you are!” Adrian came out onto the terrace with Miles at his side. “Your son and my sister just trash-talked me. Can you imagine? Where’s the gratitude, Miles?”
Miles, laughing, poked Adrian in the ribs with his elbow, playfully.
Gillian couldn’t help but smile at them both, playing together the way they did. Adrian encouraged Miles’s roughhousing side.
“Like puppies, the both of you.”
Adrian looked up with a grin and then over to Todd. “He eats like one too. Christ, Todd, you should see how much this boy can put away. He’ll fit in here just fine.”
At dinner, sitting at a table in a dining room that ran the length of the windows south of the kitchen, Erin maneuvered herself next to Gillian. “How’s it going? This has to be a bit much.”
“Funny how a glass of wine can take the edge off.”
Erin laughed and Alexander looked up from where he sat with Adrian. “Mah!” He hopped down and toddled around, holding on here and there, taking whatever helping hand a nearby adult gave until he reached not Erin, but Gillian.
“Up.” He added something that sounded rather like please and automatically, Gillian picked him up, plopping him into her lap, careful not to let him too near cutlery or anyone’s drink.
“He loves the ladies, does our Alexander.” Erin cocked her head at her son, who blew her a kiss. “I’m afraid he’s just as terminally charming as the rest of the men in this family. Luckily, we’re a hearty bunch of womenfolk and can whip them into shape.”
She paused to look at her son with affection. And then back to Gillian. “I want you to like us. I can’t pretend I don’t. I’m weird that way, I guess, but when I meet people I enjoy I get excited. I promise I won’t call you at two in the morning to make you tell me I’m pretty though. I have Ben and Todd for that.” She laughed, Alexander mimicking her.
“I was telling your brother how impossible it was not to like you. You’re rather irresistible. It runs in your family. Charm.” Gillian looked to Adrian and Miles, heads bent close, up to some sort of mischief. “Adorable, the whole lot of you.”
Erin barked out a laugh, though no one seemed to notice over their own laughter and talk.
“As compliments go, that’s up there near the top. Thank you. I know we’re sort of like the Borg, sweeping in and taking over with our bright colors and loud voices.”
Gillian really did like Erin.
“Oh, you’re not as bad as that. You all certainly make Miles happy. Counts for a lot with me.”
Alexander leaned his head back into Gillian’s chest to look up at her. “You’re just as bad as the rest.” She dropped a kiss to his forehead and he grinned.
“He’s worse. He’s a hybrid. With all these bossy men around, he’s just as bad as they are. Rennie and I have decided that having you in the family makes it way better for us odds-wise. You see, we drown in all these big old alpha males around here. It’s all we can do to hold our own. You even the odds, though you do bring another boy to the table.”
