Never Enough
Page 47
When he came, his fingers tangled with hers, his gaze locked on her face. His kiss then was slow and tender as he came back to bed, sliding in next to her body, moving to her mouth like it was all he’d been thinking of. And she wanted that to be true more than she really wanted to admit.
He stayed next to her in the bed until the sun began to creep over the horizon.
12
“I’m having sex with Adrian.”
She blurted it out, having to say it out loud and knowing Jules wouldn’t judge her.
“I knew it.” Jules shrugged. “Can’t imagine why you waited so long to tell me. I’d say, given the way he looked at you when you were here a few weeks ago, that you two have been f**king like minks since—” Jules’s eyes lit up and Gillian just waited for it.
“You have been doing naughty naked things with Adrian Brown since pretty much day one?” Jules tsked. “Wow, my estimation of you has risen even more.”
Gillian sat on a barstool at Tart, drinking coffee and eating something that would go straight to her bum and she did not care one bit.
“Yes. He’s just . . . I’m just . . . well, I don’t know what it is but we have something really intense. Still, how can you be so casual about it? He’s Miles’s dad! He’s wholly unsuitable for me for reasons you very well know. Talk me out of it.”
Jules only rolled her eyes. “It seems to me there are two issues here. First, the Miles thing. What does he think? Does he know?”
“We’ve been careful to keep it slow and subtle in front of him. We talked about it the first time, well, you know. Anyway, neither of us is seeing anyone else. It’s been a few weeks so the most Miles is going to see is a hand hold here and there, a quick kiss on the mouth, no tongues or anything. It’s clear he knows something is happening. We’re not keeping it a secret or anything.”
“Miles would tell you if he was bothered. Or worried. He talks to you. I bet Miles can see you’re happy and he obviously likes his dad, so why not? I just have total confidence that you handle it right.”
“I’m glad you do. Me? Not so sure.”
“Gillian, you are many things, and one of those things is an awesome mother. Just be happy. Miles wants that.”
“What if it goes wrong?” She twisted her fingers.
“You’ve broken up with people before and he hasn’t gone off the rails. I mean it would suck for you on a few levels, but people do it all the time. They have perfectly cordial relationships with their ex for the sake of the kids. And both of you love Miles. So part one, check. Miles is just fine. And now that we’ve cleared that up it’s on to part two.”
Gillian held a hand up. “I need a bracing sip of tea for this, I’m sure.”
Jules smiled, looking sort of predatory. “Pfft. Does he get you off? Is it hot sex? ’Cause I gotta tell you, he looks like he knows what he’s about when it comes to f**king.”
She should have known this is how Jules would respond. Hell, maybe that’s why she’d told her to start with.
“Yes. He’s—astoundingly creative.”
Jules’s face brightened and she laughed in her quicksilver way.
“Yeah? Like how?”
Gillian had long since given up trying keep her reserve around Jules. It simply wasn’t possible. “Well, to start with, he’s tireless. When he stays over we’re on each other every time we’re alone. He’s very”—she shivered, thinking about just how to put it—“intense. Dominant. Rough, but in the right way, if you know what I mean. Also”—she took a quick look to each side before leaning in closer to her friend—“he’s a dirty talker.”
Jules fanned her face. “Girl. You don’t say? ’Cause, whew.”
“I know.” Blushing wildly, Gillian looked back to her plate for a moment.
“So clearly you and he are a fit, and we both know how hard it is for a woman to find a man who can deliver what she likes in the sack when your likes might be a little unusual.”
“It’s not inappropriate? He’s my son’s father. I’m a mum! Shouldn’t I be, you know, chaste and such?” There was no need to comment on the unusual reference in what Jules had just said. Gillian had told her what she liked a long time ago.
“How is that inappropriate? You do know how babies get made, right? Although, okay, perhaps that may not be a road you want to go down.”
Gillian laughed, finding levity in her friend’s horror.
“He can’t remember her. I don’t know why it doesn’t bother me, but it doesn’t. Most of the time Tina didn’t even really seem like she existed outside my childhood memories. I can’t be jealous of a ghost. Especially when she is just nowhere in my life to get in the way. I loved her, despite her flaws. But I don’t worry he’ll compare me to her.”
Jules nodded, thoughtful. “This makes sense. Not that he’d have much to compare even if he did remember her. You’re all curvy and sexy. You mother like a f**king warrior. You’re recommended by four outta five.”
Gillian snorted. “Well, that one doesn’t count. He was a mercy f**k. God, see how I am?”
“And how is that? Funny? Self-deprecating? Of course he wants you. You’re beautiful and talented and you smell all pretty like a lady should, and even rock stars like that. How do you feel about all this?”
She talked about it for a while, about Adrian’s life and his family. The close-knit nature that made her glad for her son and the double edge of that. The fear they’d take him somehow, or that Miles would find her wanting in the face of all that.
He stayed next to her in the bed until the sun began to creep over the horizon.
12
“I’m having sex with Adrian.”
She blurted it out, having to say it out loud and knowing Jules wouldn’t judge her.
“I knew it.” Jules shrugged. “Can’t imagine why you waited so long to tell me. I’d say, given the way he looked at you when you were here a few weeks ago, that you two have been f**king like minks since—” Jules’s eyes lit up and Gillian just waited for it.
“You have been doing naughty naked things with Adrian Brown since pretty much day one?” Jules tsked. “Wow, my estimation of you has risen even more.”
Gillian sat on a barstool at Tart, drinking coffee and eating something that would go straight to her bum and she did not care one bit.
“Yes. He’s just . . . I’m just . . . well, I don’t know what it is but we have something really intense. Still, how can you be so casual about it? He’s Miles’s dad! He’s wholly unsuitable for me for reasons you very well know. Talk me out of it.”
Jules only rolled her eyes. “It seems to me there are two issues here. First, the Miles thing. What does he think? Does he know?”
“We’ve been careful to keep it slow and subtle in front of him. We talked about it the first time, well, you know. Anyway, neither of us is seeing anyone else. It’s been a few weeks so the most Miles is going to see is a hand hold here and there, a quick kiss on the mouth, no tongues or anything. It’s clear he knows something is happening. We’re not keeping it a secret or anything.”
“Miles would tell you if he was bothered. Or worried. He talks to you. I bet Miles can see you’re happy and he obviously likes his dad, so why not? I just have total confidence that you handle it right.”
“I’m glad you do. Me? Not so sure.”
“Gillian, you are many things, and one of those things is an awesome mother. Just be happy. Miles wants that.”
“What if it goes wrong?” She twisted her fingers.
“You’ve broken up with people before and he hasn’t gone off the rails. I mean it would suck for you on a few levels, but people do it all the time. They have perfectly cordial relationships with their ex for the sake of the kids. And both of you love Miles. So part one, check. Miles is just fine. And now that we’ve cleared that up it’s on to part two.”
Gillian held a hand up. “I need a bracing sip of tea for this, I’m sure.”
Jules smiled, looking sort of predatory. “Pfft. Does he get you off? Is it hot sex? ’Cause I gotta tell you, he looks like he knows what he’s about when it comes to f**king.”
She should have known this is how Jules would respond. Hell, maybe that’s why she’d told her to start with.
“Yes. He’s—astoundingly creative.”
Jules’s face brightened and she laughed in her quicksilver way.
“Yeah? Like how?”
Gillian had long since given up trying keep her reserve around Jules. It simply wasn’t possible. “Well, to start with, he’s tireless. When he stays over we’re on each other every time we’re alone. He’s very”—she shivered, thinking about just how to put it—“intense. Dominant. Rough, but in the right way, if you know what I mean. Also”—she took a quick look to each side before leaning in closer to her friend—“he’s a dirty talker.”
Jules fanned her face. “Girl. You don’t say? ’Cause, whew.”
“I know.” Blushing wildly, Gillian looked back to her plate for a moment.
“So clearly you and he are a fit, and we both know how hard it is for a woman to find a man who can deliver what she likes in the sack when your likes might be a little unusual.”
“It’s not inappropriate? He’s my son’s father. I’m a mum! Shouldn’t I be, you know, chaste and such?” There was no need to comment on the unusual reference in what Jules had just said. Gillian had told her what she liked a long time ago.
“How is that inappropriate? You do know how babies get made, right? Although, okay, perhaps that may not be a road you want to go down.”
Gillian laughed, finding levity in her friend’s horror.
“He can’t remember her. I don’t know why it doesn’t bother me, but it doesn’t. Most of the time Tina didn’t even really seem like she existed outside my childhood memories. I can’t be jealous of a ghost. Especially when she is just nowhere in my life to get in the way. I loved her, despite her flaws. But I don’t worry he’ll compare me to her.”
Jules nodded, thoughtful. “This makes sense. Not that he’d have much to compare even if he did remember her. You’re all curvy and sexy. You mother like a f**king warrior. You’re recommended by four outta five.”
Gillian snorted. “Well, that one doesn’t count. He was a mercy f**k. God, see how I am?”
“And how is that? Funny? Self-deprecating? Of course he wants you. You’re beautiful and talented and you smell all pretty like a lady should, and even rock stars like that. How do you feel about all this?”
She talked about it for a while, about Adrian’s life and his family. The close-knit nature that made her glad for her son and the double edge of that. The fear they’d take him somehow, or that Miles would find her wanting in the face of all that.
