Never Enough
Page 72
“Yes.”
“That’s why you keep replacing carburetors and brakes and steering columns and other things.”
Moved beyond words, she nodded and hoped he didn’t ask for more because she didn’t trust herself to speak.
Adrian Brown laid waste to her reserve. Barging in and taking up residence inside her. In her heart and head and damn it, it felt good. And right. He understood her, darkness and all.
She knew she should tell him about her father. Right then would have been a good time. Sort of. But it was ugly and it had been years since she’d seen him. Her mother had never taken his name anyway. Tina and Gillian had Candace’s last name—Forrester—instead of their father’s.
He kissed the top of her head and murmured to her that he loved her, and that closed her throat with unshed tears.
So she burrowed in tighter. He held her tighter and she let him love her.
16
“You’re eating all my food, Miles!” Mary called out. Her grin was so wide it filled Gillian with joy at the sight of it.
“These are brilliant.” He held up a Thai chicken slider.
“You like? I think they could be a tad bit hotter. Wanna be my test subject?” She held out another slider.
“Yeah!” He grabbed the plate as Mary sat next to him, ready to get his opinion.
The day had turned out utterly gorgeous. Clear and cold, but the sun was out and Mary’s backyard was perfect for year-round entertaining with many seating areas, shade and direct sun. Tables were scattered across the pretty brick patio.
Browns, Keenans, Copelands, Whaleys and Forresters filled the space, spiced by Jules and Daisy. It had been a little careful at first, but once Mary brought out the first platter of food, everyone had relaxed.
“Your people are nice.” Raven stepped up next to Gillian. “I wondered, of course. You know, if they would be cool or if they’d be stuffy. Most people are just utter f**kwads.”
Gillian linked her arm with Raven’s, sensing the surprise and then pleasure in her movements.
“I’m pleased you like my friends and have judged them not to be f**kwads.”
“You’re a trip.”
“I am? I thought I was uptight and stuffy.”
Raven laughed, shaking her head. “Oh no, not you.” Raven studied her face intently. “You’re so much more than what you give out at first glance. You have layers. One of the reasons Adrian pulls that stick out of his butt and loves you as much as he does.”
Gillian couldn’t swallow back her horrified laugh. “He does not! He’s one of the most relaxed, adaptable people I’ve ever met. He does get passionate about things. He can be obstinate and fiercely stubborn. All in all, you must admit, it’s compelling.”
“Maybe if he and I saw each other through you it would work. He doesn’t trust me and I have accepted that we can tolerate each other at events because we both love Erin and Brody.”
Gillian tugged Raven toward the drink table. She wanted Adrian and Raven to get along better. She really enjoyed Raven. There was no mistaking that Raven was one of those sort of crazy women men seemed to go for in droves. Gillian didn’t hold any fantasies that Raven was well adjusted, or even partially so. She tended to be abrasive. And yet, for Gillian, it was refreshing to just hear what someone else thought without any varnish.
There could only really be one Raven in your life, Gillian knew this. And yet Raven called out to the outsider who also lived in Gillian. She recognized some of the same behaviors in Raven, and wondered if she’d grown up with a similar sort of misery as Gillian’s.
Whatever it was, Gillian got the feeling Raven had the same sort of reaction to her. Adrian hadn’t gotten angry about the seeds of their friendship, but he did say he felt Raven wasn’t trustworthy.
There was something there people deliberately talked around, and though she wanted to know what it was, she didn’t want to hear it by her own request.
“Do you know the story?” Raven sipped some tropical juice thing Mary had made. “No, you don’t, I can see. Well, of course you should know this is my perspective and in that, it’s going to be biased, so I don’t claim to be totally honest or fair.”
Only Raven would talk that way.
“You do know that once upon a time Brody and I had a thing. He’s a great guy and I think I wanted it to work at first. I don’t know. Anyway, I was up-front with him that I wasn’t always going to come home to his bed.”
Gillian wondered at that. How on earth could Raven be happy with that sort of life?
“So I travel around. Don’t like to stay in one place very long. I was in L.A.; I have a place down there and I work winters in a friend’s tattoo shop. Of all the people in the world to be in Los Angeles, it was Adrian who saw me at a nightclub with another person I was obviously pretty fond of. He flipped out and went to Brody. I hurt Brody and that sucks because it’s totally my fault and I was selfish. But I never lied to him about what I was like. I never promised him monogamy.”
But if Adrian had caught her with that person he’d never trust her again. The kind of man he was, Gillian knew, would always be offended that she’d chosen anyone over his brother and that she’d betrayed Brody that way.
She understood it a lot better and didn’t blame Adrian at all. Brody had told her part of the story some months back. But he said they’d come a long way and she was part of his family so clearly he’d forgiven her.
“That’s why you keep replacing carburetors and brakes and steering columns and other things.”
Moved beyond words, she nodded and hoped he didn’t ask for more because she didn’t trust herself to speak.
Adrian Brown laid waste to her reserve. Barging in and taking up residence inside her. In her heart and head and damn it, it felt good. And right. He understood her, darkness and all.
She knew she should tell him about her father. Right then would have been a good time. Sort of. But it was ugly and it had been years since she’d seen him. Her mother had never taken his name anyway. Tina and Gillian had Candace’s last name—Forrester—instead of their father’s.
He kissed the top of her head and murmured to her that he loved her, and that closed her throat with unshed tears.
So she burrowed in tighter. He held her tighter and she let him love her.
16
“You’re eating all my food, Miles!” Mary called out. Her grin was so wide it filled Gillian with joy at the sight of it.
“These are brilliant.” He held up a Thai chicken slider.
“You like? I think they could be a tad bit hotter. Wanna be my test subject?” She held out another slider.
“Yeah!” He grabbed the plate as Mary sat next to him, ready to get his opinion.
The day had turned out utterly gorgeous. Clear and cold, but the sun was out and Mary’s backyard was perfect for year-round entertaining with many seating areas, shade and direct sun. Tables were scattered across the pretty brick patio.
Browns, Keenans, Copelands, Whaleys and Forresters filled the space, spiced by Jules and Daisy. It had been a little careful at first, but once Mary brought out the first platter of food, everyone had relaxed.
“Your people are nice.” Raven stepped up next to Gillian. “I wondered, of course. You know, if they would be cool or if they’d be stuffy. Most people are just utter f**kwads.”
Gillian linked her arm with Raven’s, sensing the surprise and then pleasure in her movements.
“I’m pleased you like my friends and have judged them not to be f**kwads.”
“You’re a trip.”
“I am? I thought I was uptight and stuffy.”
Raven laughed, shaking her head. “Oh no, not you.” Raven studied her face intently. “You’re so much more than what you give out at first glance. You have layers. One of the reasons Adrian pulls that stick out of his butt and loves you as much as he does.”
Gillian couldn’t swallow back her horrified laugh. “He does not! He’s one of the most relaxed, adaptable people I’ve ever met. He does get passionate about things. He can be obstinate and fiercely stubborn. All in all, you must admit, it’s compelling.”
“Maybe if he and I saw each other through you it would work. He doesn’t trust me and I have accepted that we can tolerate each other at events because we both love Erin and Brody.”
Gillian tugged Raven toward the drink table. She wanted Adrian and Raven to get along better. She really enjoyed Raven. There was no mistaking that Raven was one of those sort of crazy women men seemed to go for in droves. Gillian didn’t hold any fantasies that Raven was well adjusted, or even partially so. She tended to be abrasive. And yet, for Gillian, it was refreshing to just hear what someone else thought without any varnish.
There could only really be one Raven in your life, Gillian knew this. And yet Raven called out to the outsider who also lived in Gillian. She recognized some of the same behaviors in Raven, and wondered if she’d grown up with a similar sort of misery as Gillian’s.
Whatever it was, Gillian got the feeling Raven had the same sort of reaction to her. Adrian hadn’t gotten angry about the seeds of their friendship, but he did say he felt Raven wasn’t trustworthy.
There was something there people deliberately talked around, and though she wanted to know what it was, she didn’t want to hear it by her own request.
“Do you know the story?” Raven sipped some tropical juice thing Mary had made. “No, you don’t, I can see. Well, of course you should know this is my perspective and in that, it’s going to be biased, so I don’t claim to be totally honest or fair.”
Only Raven would talk that way.
“You do know that once upon a time Brody and I had a thing. He’s a great guy and I think I wanted it to work at first. I don’t know. Anyway, I was up-front with him that I wasn’t always going to come home to his bed.”
Gillian wondered at that. How on earth could Raven be happy with that sort of life?
“So I travel around. Don’t like to stay in one place very long. I was in L.A.; I have a place down there and I work winters in a friend’s tattoo shop. Of all the people in the world to be in Los Angeles, it was Adrian who saw me at a nightclub with another person I was obviously pretty fond of. He flipped out and went to Brody. I hurt Brody and that sucks because it’s totally my fault and I was selfish. But I never lied to him about what I was like. I never promised him monogamy.”
But if Adrian had caught her with that person he’d never trust her again. The kind of man he was, Gillian knew, would always be offended that she’d chosen anyone over his brother and that she’d betrayed Brody that way.
She understood it a lot better and didn’t blame Adrian at all. Brody had told her part of the story some months back. But he said they’d come a long way and she was part of his family so clearly he’d forgiven her.
