Never Enough
Page 75
“Yeah.”
“Seems like we need to start working on a solution then.” Adrian smiled while he spoke, eyes on the horizon.
“So, tell me about this producer you’re meeting tomorrow?” she asked as they sat on the back lawn some hours later.
“He’s Reg Thorne.”
“Ah. Yes, I know of him. He’s done a great many records that are on my favorites list. Are you looking to make a change in sound?”
“Why didn’t you pursue a career in music? I mean”—he turned to her—“you went to this big-time school and that means you’re damned good. I’ve heard you play, I know you’re good. So why are you doing marketing and piano lessons instead of being on a stage?”
“That’s a program change, isn’t it?”
“I figure we can share on this one. I’m nervous. I admit it. Humor me.”
“Nervous why? My goodness, Adrian, you’re not only gifted, you’re very successful.”
“Answer my questions.”
She sighed. “Because not everyone gets a blue ribbon. You should know that more than most. Yes, I’m good. I’m very talented, as a matter of fact. Of the people playing piano, I’m up there, of course. Just not quite enough. If I’d started earlier or had more lessons. If, if, if. Anyway, I did some studio work for a while in my last years at school. I wanted to be a concert pianist and that just didn’t work out. I’m good. Just not that good. And then Miles came along and what was I to do? I’d been living in a grotty little apartment in Hell’s Kitchen, which is one thing for a young adult, another entirely for a newborn. And how would I pay for rent if I stayed home? How would I take care of a baby if I was at auditions and taking all the extra classes and jobs I could, which were often in the evenings. I made a choice and I’ve never regretted it. I have my music still. In fact, Elise asked if I’d be willing to do Carmina Burana for her school.”
“She did?” Adrian grinned, kissing her knuckles. “Neither of you told me!”
“She only asked me via text earlier today. They’re doing a joint performance with a choral group. There’s a version of it for two pianos instead of a full orchestra. It’s a challenging but really wonderful piece. I told her I would. It’s in March.”
“Congratulations. I can’t wait to hear it. As for the rest, well, you chose Miles. Every time you choose our son.” He kissed her softly. “That makes me love you even more. You gave it up for him.”
“I gave it up because chances were that even though I could have made some money and gotten gigs, it wouldn’t have worked with me as the single mother to a young child. Life is all a benefit/cost analysis, Adrian. You make choices much the same every day. You could be on tour right now making even more money but you chose to take time with your family. And you’re making this choice to try something new because it feeds you artistically. That’s important. Making good choices is important.”
“I want to try something darker and harder. I’ve been writing a lot lately. Since I found out about Miles. I have some songs I think are pretty amazing, Erin agrees. And if Reg agrees to take me on, it could be a big bust or a career change. Either way, I can afford something that doesn’t quite make as much money and I feel like I have this small period of time to take some chances.”
“I’m excited for you. I can’t wait to hear the songs and I have zero doubt you’ll be hugely successful. How can Thorne not like you?”
“He’s mercurial. He only takes projects that appeal to him on a personal level and he only works a few times a year.”
“All right then, how do we make him choose you?”
He laughed. “Ah man, that’s better. You make things better. Thank you. I’m going to play a few songs for him tomorrow. Just me and my guitar, he says. I told Miles he could come watch, but he has to stay in the booth. Do you think he can do it? Would you go with him?”
“Yes, he can handle it and there’s nowhere else I’d rather be than listening to you.”
“It won’t be the whole time. There’s a private, one-on-one meeting first and then if he likes my pitch, he’ll ask to hear the material. Jeremy will come to breakfast tomorrow. He’s on a red-eye tonight from Los Angeles. He’s got a pitch worked up for me. Thank God for him, that’s all I can say. We’ll all go over together.”
He tipped his head back and looked up at the sky. “You know, all I could think of when I was away from you both was how I was looking up at stars you couldn’t see and how much I hated it. I’ve never been much convinced a man could have a good balance between career and personal life, but you and Miles give me hope. I feel like when I talk about music you understand. That he understands too.”
“We both do. I love to hear you talk about music. It’s like you open up a super secret place inside and let me in.”
“You and Miles are there now too. My most special things.”
She blinked away tears. “He told you about that?”
“He did. I like the most special thing idea. I like being able to talk to you and have you know what I mean.”
“Well, I don’t know much about how the music industry works at your level. I just know it’s hard to expose what you bring out from inside to the public. And it’s harder for you than it ever was for me. People fill arenas to see you. That’s some serious exposure there.”
“Seems like we need to start working on a solution then.” Adrian smiled while he spoke, eyes on the horizon.
“So, tell me about this producer you’re meeting tomorrow?” she asked as they sat on the back lawn some hours later.
“He’s Reg Thorne.”
“Ah. Yes, I know of him. He’s done a great many records that are on my favorites list. Are you looking to make a change in sound?”
“Why didn’t you pursue a career in music? I mean”—he turned to her—“you went to this big-time school and that means you’re damned good. I’ve heard you play, I know you’re good. So why are you doing marketing and piano lessons instead of being on a stage?”
“That’s a program change, isn’t it?”
“I figure we can share on this one. I’m nervous. I admit it. Humor me.”
“Nervous why? My goodness, Adrian, you’re not only gifted, you’re very successful.”
“Answer my questions.”
She sighed. “Because not everyone gets a blue ribbon. You should know that more than most. Yes, I’m good. I’m very talented, as a matter of fact. Of the people playing piano, I’m up there, of course. Just not quite enough. If I’d started earlier or had more lessons. If, if, if. Anyway, I did some studio work for a while in my last years at school. I wanted to be a concert pianist and that just didn’t work out. I’m good. Just not that good. And then Miles came along and what was I to do? I’d been living in a grotty little apartment in Hell’s Kitchen, which is one thing for a young adult, another entirely for a newborn. And how would I pay for rent if I stayed home? How would I take care of a baby if I was at auditions and taking all the extra classes and jobs I could, which were often in the evenings. I made a choice and I’ve never regretted it. I have my music still. In fact, Elise asked if I’d be willing to do Carmina Burana for her school.”
“She did?” Adrian grinned, kissing her knuckles. “Neither of you told me!”
“She only asked me via text earlier today. They’re doing a joint performance with a choral group. There’s a version of it for two pianos instead of a full orchestra. It’s a challenging but really wonderful piece. I told her I would. It’s in March.”
“Congratulations. I can’t wait to hear it. As for the rest, well, you chose Miles. Every time you choose our son.” He kissed her softly. “That makes me love you even more. You gave it up for him.”
“I gave it up because chances were that even though I could have made some money and gotten gigs, it wouldn’t have worked with me as the single mother to a young child. Life is all a benefit/cost analysis, Adrian. You make choices much the same every day. You could be on tour right now making even more money but you chose to take time with your family. And you’re making this choice to try something new because it feeds you artistically. That’s important. Making good choices is important.”
“I want to try something darker and harder. I’ve been writing a lot lately. Since I found out about Miles. I have some songs I think are pretty amazing, Erin agrees. And if Reg agrees to take me on, it could be a big bust or a career change. Either way, I can afford something that doesn’t quite make as much money and I feel like I have this small period of time to take some chances.”
“I’m excited for you. I can’t wait to hear the songs and I have zero doubt you’ll be hugely successful. How can Thorne not like you?”
“He’s mercurial. He only takes projects that appeal to him on a personal level and he only works a few times a year.”
“All right then, how do we make him choose you?”
He laughed. “Ah man, that’s better. You make things better. Thank you. I’m going to play a few songs for him tomorrow. Just me and my guitar, he says. I told Miles he could come watch, but he has to stay in the booth. Do you think he can do it? Would you go with him?”
“Yes, he can handle it and there’s nowhere else I’d rather be than listening to you.”
“It won’t be the whole time. There’s a private, one-on-one meeting first and then if he likes my pitch, he’ll ask to hear the material. Jeremy will come to breakfast tomorrow. He’s on a red-eye tonight from Los Angeles. He’s got a pitch worked up for me. Thank God for him, that’s all I can say. We’ll all go over together.”
He tipped his head back and looked up at the sky. “You know, all I could think of when I was away from you both was how I was looking up at stars you couldn’t see and how much I hated it. I’ve never been much convinced a man could have a good balance between career and personal life, but you and Miles give me hope. I feel like when I talk about music you understand. That he understands too.”
“We both do. I love to hear you talk about music. It’s like you open up a super secret place inside and let me in.”
“You and Miles are there now too. My most special things.”
She blinked away tears. “He told you about that?”
“He did. I like the most special thing idea. I like being able to talk to you and have you know what I mean.”
“Well, I don’t know much about how the music industry works at your level. I just know it’s hard to expose what you bring out from inside to the public. And it’s harder for you than it ever was for me. People fill arenas to see you. That’s some serious exposure there.”
