Nitro's Torment
Page 63
Monroe’s lips curled up into a smile. “You’ve got it bad for Nitro, haven’t you?”
I took a deep breath and then exhaled hard. “Yeah. I’m finding it hard to concentrate on work. My house is a mess because when I’m home, I’m either in bed with him or wasting time thinking about him…. God, I’ve even let my exercise go. This feels so overwhelming some days, like it’s completely out of control. Tell me you’ve experienced this.”
Monroe frowned. “You didn’t have that with Randall?”
“No. I thought I did, but comparing it, I didn’t. Not even in the beginning when it was all new and lacking the baggage we accumulated along the way.”
“Why did you marry him, babe?” Monroe asked softly.
“God, I think I was just young and naïve. Dad had just passed away and Randall caught me in a vulnerable moment when I felt alone and lost. Chris was there for me, but he was busy with his shit, and I had started to feel like I didn’t know where home was anymore. Marrying Randall felt like a new start and a new chance at happiness.”
Posey watched me with a look that said she knew exactly what I meant. “He offered the easy path to what you thought you wanted,” she murmured. “Except it turned out that nothing good in life ever comes easy and you should have known that.”
I nodded. “Exactly.”
“So this thing with Nitro, what is it?” Monroe asked.
“It’s not just sex, but we haven’t labelled it.”
“What do you want it to be?” Monroe asked.
As I contemplated her question, I let my fears in, but I didn’t let them control me. It scared the shit out of me to think about letting Nitro into my life more than I already had, but at the same time I felt it deep in my soul that I wanted to take that step. “I want him. He’s moody and he can be an ass, but he looks out for me. He’s honest and he considers all the little details in life in such a way that shows me how deeply he’s able to care for someone. I want a man who is all about the details.”
“What exactly does that mean?”
I reached for the water on the table and poured myself a glass. “He listens and watches and pays attention to the things I say and do. And to the shit I’ve been through. And he takes it all into consideration and it shows in the way he treats me. He does the same with his family. His actions aren’t always all about him. I’m not saying he gets it right all the time, but the fact he tries means something to me.”
“It’s hard to find a man like that,” Posey said.
“Is your ex still being an ass?” Monroe asked her.
“No, he’s leaving me alone. Whatever Billy’s guy said to him worked.”
“You should come out with us on our next girls’ night,” Monroe said. “The hangover is totally worth it.”
“That’s because she found pierced cock,” I threw in. “And because Monroe hardly ever gets hangovers. Personally, I think that’s her superpower.”
Posey laughed and sat forward. “Tell me more!”
Monroe’s eyes lit up. She loved talking about sex and dicks more than any woman I knew. “Well, I was really drunk so I might be wrong, but I’m not convinced that dude knows how to use what he’s got to its full potential. The piercing felt good, but I don’t remember fireworks. And damn it, I want fireworks.”
“Okay tell me, what is fireworks to you?” Posey asked.
“I want to come out of my skin because the need the guy has for me is too much. I want to feel him everywhere, in my toes, my fingertips, in my mind, and deep in my belly. His touch, his breathing, his sounds, what he says, the way he moves… it should all consume me until every thought of mine is focused solely on him. And I want him to give me an orgasm I’m still feeling the next morning.”
Posey and I sat staring at Monroe as she described everything she wanted. Posey, wide-eyed, me with a smile.
“What?” Monroe asked.
“That was the perfect description,” I said.
“Jesus, you have that with Nitro, don’t you, you lucky bitch?”
I laughed. “Let’s order lunch before you start crying.”
“Ugh. I hate you,” she muttered. “I find a pierced cock and I still don’t get fireworks. I bet you got fireworks last night.”
“All night long, Roe.”
She dropped her head to the table and banged it a couple of times in the kind of dramatic performance she was well known for. When she lifted her head, she said, “Right, girls’ night is on every Friday night until I find fireworks.” Looking at me, she added, “And I don’t give two fucks if you’re having a Milo Friday, you’re still coming out to help me find my man.”
Posey cut in. “What’s Milo Friday?”
Monroe turned to her. “Oh, honey, you don’t want to know.” She then proceeded to fill Posey in on my love for Milo, omitting the full details of what had happened recently, but giving her enough information to understand why she didn’t love Milo Fridays.
We ordered meals after that and spent the next two hours laughing and sharing stories from our week. Monroe had been right when she’d said we should invite Posey to brunch. I’d been hesitant because I never mixed my work life with my personal life, but this was fun. And fun was something I hadn’t let into my life for far too long. It was exactly what I needed. Friends.
35
Nitro
“Love’s Poster Child” by Keith Urban
I slid my arm around Tatum’s waist and pulled her close while we made the short walk from my bike to the clubhouse entrance. Loud music filled the night air, along with laughter and lots of talking. The party was in full swing. I’d picked Tatum up from brunch the day before and we’d spent the time since then either in her bed, her kitchen or on her couch. The invitation to come with me to the club get together had slipped out of my mouth before I realised it was happening. But there was no doubt in my mind, I wanted her there.
As we entered the clubhouse, she looked up at me. “Looks like things are going well with the club. Compared to the last time I was here.” We hardly ever discussed Storm when we were together. She never asked and it wasn’t in my nature to bring club business up with anyone who wasn’t a member.
I took a deep breath and then exhaled hard. “Yeah. I’m finding it hard to concentrate on work. My house is a mess because when I’m home, I’m either in bed with him or wasting time thinking about him…. God, I’ve even let my exercise go. This feels so overwhelming some days, like it’s completely out of control. Tell me you’ve experienced this.”
Monroe frowned. “You didn’t have that with Randall?”
“No. I thought I did, but comparing it, I didn’t. Not even in the beginning when it was all new and lacking the baggage we accumulated along the way.”
“Why did you marry him, babe?” Monroe asked softly.
“God, I think I was just young and naïve. Dad had just passed away and Randall caught me in a vulnerable moment when I felt alone and lost. Chris was there for me, but he was busy with his shit, and I had started to feel like I didn’t know where home was anymore. Marrying Randall felt like a new start and a new chance at happiness.”
Posey watched me with a look that said she knew exactly what I meant. “He offered the easy path to what you thought you wanted,” she murmured. “Except it turned out that nothing good in life ever comes easy and you should have known that.”
I nodded. “Exactly.”
“So this thing with Nitro, what is it?” Monroe asked.
“It’s not just sex, but we haven’t labelled it.”
“What do you want it to be?” Monroe asked.
As I contemplated her question, I let my fears in, but I didn’t let them control me. It scared the shit out of me to think about letting Nitro into my life more than I already had, but at the same time I felt it deep in my soul that I wanted to take that step. “I want him. He’s moody and he can be an ass, but he looks out for me. He’s honest and he considers all the little details in life in such a way that shows me how deeply he’s able to care for someone. I want a man who is all about the details.”
“What exactly does that mean?”
I reached for the water on the table and poured myself a glass. “He listens and watches and pays attention to the things I say and do. And to the shit I’ve been through. And he takes it all into consideration and it shows in the way he treats me. He does the same with his family. His actions aren’t always all about him. I’m not saying he gets it right all the time, but the fact he tries means something to me.”
“It’s hard to find a man like that,” Posey said.
“Is your ex still being an ass?” Monroe asked her.
“No, he’s leaving me alone. Whatever Billy’s guy said to him worked.”
“You should come out with us on our next girls’ night,” Monroe said. “The hangover is totally worth it.”
“That’s because she found pierced cock,” I threw in. “And because Monroe hardly ever gets hangovers. Personally, I think that’s her superpower.”
Posey laughed and sat forward. “Tell me more!”
Monroe’s eyes lit up. She loved talking about sex and dicks more than any woman I knew. “Well, I was really drunk so I might be wrong, but I’m not convinced that dude knows how to use what he’s got to its full potential. The piercing felt good, but I don’t remember fireworks. And damn it, I want fireworks.”
“Okay tell me, what is fireworks to you?” Posey asked.
“I want to come out of my skin because the need the guy has for me is too much. I want to feel him everywhere, in my toes, my fingertips, in my mind, and deep in my belly. His touch, his breathing, his sounds, what he says, the way he moves… it should all consume me until every thought of mine is focused solely on him. And I want him to give me an orgasm I’m still feeling the next morning.”
Posey and I sat staring at Monroe as she described everything she wanted. Posey, wide-eyed, me with a smile.
“What?” Monroe asked.
“That was the perfect description,” I said.
“Jesus, you have that with Nitro, don’t you, you lucky bitch?”
I laughed. “Let’s order lunch before you start crying.”
“Ugh. I hate you,” she muttered. “I find a pierced cock and I still don’t get fireworks. I bet you got fireworks last night.”
“All night long, Roe.”
She dropped her head to the table and banged it a couple of times in the kind of dramatic performance she was well known for. When she lifted her head, she said, “Right, girls’ night is on every Friday night until I find fireworks.” Looking at me, she added, “And I don’t give two fucks if you’re having a Milo Friday, you’re still coming out to help me find my man.”
Posey cut in. “What’s Milo Friday?”
Monroe turned to her. “Oh, honey, you don’t want to know.” She then proceeded to fill Posey in on my love for Milo, omitting the full details of what had happened recently, but giving her enough information to understand why she didn’t love Milo Fridays.
We ordered meals after that and spent the next two hours laughing and sharing stories from our week. Monroe had been right when she’d said we should invite Posey to brunch. I’d been hesitant because I never mixed my work life with my personal life, but this was fun. And fun was something I hadn’t let into my life for far too long. It was exactly what I needed. Friends.
35
Nitro
“Love’s Poster Child” by Keith Urban
I slid my arm around Tatum’s waist and pulled her close while we made the short walk from my bike to the clubhouse entrance. Loud music filled the night air, along with laughter and lots of talking. The party was in full swing. I’d picked Tatum up from brunch the day before and we’d spent the time since then either in her bed, her kitchen or on her couch. The invitation to come with me to the club get together had slipped out of my mouth before I realised it was happening. But there was no doubt in my mind, I wanted her there.
As we entered the clubhouse, she looked up at me. “Looks like things are going well with the club. Compared to the last time I was here.” We hardly ever discussed Storm when we were together. She never asked and it wasn’t in my nature to bring club business up with anyone who wasn’t a member.
