Not Quite Over You
Page 17
Drew had loved the freedom, the normalcy of simply being one of the grandkids. He’d been able to relax, to learn and grow because it was what he wanted and not because of some unrealistic master plan. And he’d fallen in love with Silver.
“What is this really about?” she asked, her voice quiet. “Are you really that interested in being a business partner or are you rebelling against what your parents expect?”
“You mean run the bank for two years, then join them in their lobbying firm?”
Her eyebrows rose. “Is that the current plan?”
“Last I heard.”
“What do you want?”
What he’d always wanted. He wanted to run the bank, to modernize the various processes and make every department responsive to the community.
“Remember about three years ago when there was that big push to raise the money to build a new fire station?”
One had desperately been needed, but there hadn’t been the money. Business leaders had come together to raise the funds privately.
“I ran the committee,” he admitted. “I wasn’t the public face, but I took care of all the details, brainstormed most of the ideas. I convinced my grandfather to donate a sizable portion of our profits for the quarter. Everyone kicked in and we got the station built.”
“I remember, but I didn’t know that was you.”
“It wasn’t me. It was the whole town. That’s what I want—to be more than a guy who runs the bank. I want to make the bank relevant and important. Not some heartless institution.”
“Wow.” She looked at him. “And here I thought you just gave orders and counted the money.”
He grinned. “I let Libby do that.”
He looked at Silver. She was the more mature version of the girl he’d fallen in love with. Back then she’d had attitude, but now she had life experience to back it up. He wanted to say she was fearless but didn’t everyone fear something? As the question formed, he wondered what she worried about in the middle of the night.
“Do you ever think about what would have happened if we’d stayed together?”
Her eyes widened. “You and me?” She gave a strangled laugh. “Sometimes I do, but it would have been a disaster.”
“Why?”
“We were too young to have a baby. You had just started college. I appreciate that you said all the right things, but we both know you would have hated to come home. Where would you have gotten a job? Where would we have lived? You would have ended up resenting me and it would have been awful.”
She spoke with an authority that made him realize she had thought about them staying together. She’d considered the possibilities and had rejected the premise of the question.
“We might have been okay,” he said, not knowing why he wanted that to be true. It had been a long time ago—the decisions had been made and they’d both moved on.
She looked at him. “I don’t think so. Besides, you’d already let me go and were ready to move on to someone else.”
“I was still in love with you.” Maybe a little less than he had been when he’d left for college, but there had been feelings. Not that he’d wanted a baby. Not then. She was right about them being too young for that.
“I appreciate you saying that but we both know it was long over. We’d moved on.” One corner of her mouth turned up. “Besides, your mother would never have let us get married.”
“We were legally adults. We could do what we wanted.”
“Uh-huh.” Her expression turned sympathetic. “You don’t actually believe that, do you? We’re talking about your mother. She would have found a way to stop us.”
Silver was right about that, he admitted to himself. Not only had he been raised to respect his parents’ wishes, his mother had a way of manipulating people he couldn’t begin to master. Regardless, he liked to think he would have been strong.
“I would have married you,” he told her. “If that was what you’d wanted.”
Emotions flashed across her face. She opened her mouth, as if she were about to say something, then shook her head.
“Thank you for saying that. I, ah...” She drew in a breath. “I have a meeting in an hour with a lot of prep work and you have to get back to the bank. Let’s talk soon.”
“The sooner the better. We need to get the trailers remodeled and figure out what to do with this space.”
“Absolutely.”
He hesitated, unable to shake the feeling that there was more she wanted to discuss, but she only smiled.
What had she been thinking and what had she wanted to say? He was about to cross the street toward the bank when he realized what it was. He’d told her he would have married her if that was what she wanted—a long way from saying he’d wanted it, too.
Not that they were in love anymore, or even dating. But they’d been in the middle of a “what if” conversation and he hadn’t played along.
He thought about going back to say something, only he couldn’t think of what. What would he tell her? That he was sorry she’d given up the baby? That he wished they’d gotten married? He wasn’t sure either of those statements were true. What he did know was that both he and Silver had come a long way and he was looking forward to finding out where they went after today.
* * *
SILVER COULDN’T SHAKE the fact that she’d been a complete and utter coward. She’d always thought of herself as reasonably brave and self-aware, but at the exact moment when she should have told Drew about Autumn and Leigh and the wedding, she’d said nothing.
Drew had given her the perfect opening. Honestly, what had she been waiting for? But instead of taking advantage of the moment, of coming clean, she’d bolted. Now, not only did she still have to tell him, she got to beat herself up. She’d been five kinds of dumb.
She walked into the conference room at Weddings Out of the Box. Renee was already there, tablet in hand, samples scattered around the table and a laptop opened to the teleconferencing program.
“Hi,” she said when she saw Silver. “Thanks for coming. I know you could have just provided a drink list, but I appreciate you being here. I’ve never transferred a partially planned wedding from one bride and groom to another, so I can’t know if I’m doing it right.”
“I’m not sure there’s a wrong way to do it,” Silver told her with a smile. “Except for messing up all the details.”
“If this is you trying to make me feel better, it’s not working.”
“Sorry.” Silver sat across from her. “Leigh is super excited to have the wedding mostly planned. She’s busy moving out of her place and working with her fiancé on the house they’re having built, on top of work and getting ready for the honeymoon and raising her daughter. Leigh is very easygoing and she’s going to love everything you do.”
Renee smiled. “Thanks. I appreciate hearing that. I think I’ll be able to relax a little after our phone call when I know she’s happy with the choices already made.”
Renee glanced at the clock, then tapped a few keys on the computer. The screen showed the log-on sequence. Silver had seen the program in action before. It allowed multiple viewers to see each other and the Weddings Out of the Box conference room. Slides could be displayed to everyone attending the call, so they were all on the same page, so to speak. In the past, Silver had been at the meetings as a vendor representing AlcoHaul and occasionally the caterer. Today she was also a friend of the bride.
“What is this really about?” she asked, her voice quiet. “Are you really that interested in being a business partner or are you rebelling against what your parents expect?”
“You mean run the bank for two years, then join them in their lobbying firm?”
Her eyebrows rose. “Is that the current plan?”
“Last I heard.”
“What do you want?”
What he’d always wanted. He wanted to run the bank, to modernize the various processes and make every department responsive to the community.
“Remember about three years ago when there was that big push to raise the money to build a new fire station?”
One had desperately been needed, but there hadn’t been the money. Business leaders had come together to raise the funds privately.
“I ran the committee,” he admitted. “I wasn’t the public face, but I took care of all the details, brainstormed most of the ideas. I convinced my grandfather to donate a sizable portion of our profits for the quarter. Everyone kicked in and we got the station built.”
“I remember, but I didn’t know that was you.”
“It wasn’t me. It was the whole town. That’s what I want—to be more than a guy who runs the bank. I want to make the bank relevant and important. Not some heartless institution.”
“Wow.” She looked at him. “And here I thought you just gave orders and counted the money.”
He grinned. “I let Libby do that.”
He looked at Silver. She was the more mature version of the girl he’d fallen in love with. Back then she’d had attitude, but now she had life experience to back it up. He wanted to say she was fearless but didn’t everyone fear something? As the question formed, he wondered what she worried about in the middle of the night.
“Do you ever think about what would have happened if we’d stayed together?”
Her eyes widened. “You and me?” She gave a strangled laugh. “Sometimes I do, but it would have been a disaster.”
“Why?”
“We were too young to have a baby. You had just started college. I appreciate that you said all the right things, but we both know you would have hated to come home. Where would you have gotten a job? Where would we have lived? You would have ended up resenting me and it would have been awful.”
She spoke with an authority that made him realize she had thought about them staying together. She’d considered the possibilities and had rejected the premise of the question.
“We might have been okay,” he said, not knowing why he wanted that to be true. It had been a long time ago—the decisions had been made and they’d both moved on.
She looked at him. “I don’t think so. Besides, you’d already let me go and were ready to move on to someone else.”
“I was still in love with you.” Maybe a little less than he had been when he’d left for college, but there had been feelings. Not that he’d wanted a baby. Not then. She was right about them being too young for that.
“I appreciate you saying that but we both know it was long over. We’d moved on.” One corner of her mouth turned up. “Besides, your mother would never have let us get married.”
“We were legally adults. We could do what we wanted.”
“Uh-huh.” Her expression turned sympathetic. “You don’t actually believe that, do you? We’re talking about your mother. She would have found a way to stop us.”
Silver was right about that, he admitted to himself. Not only had he been raised to respect his parents’ wishes, his mother had a way of manipulating people he couldn’t begin to master. Regardless, he liked to think he would have been strong.
“I would have married you,” he told her. “If that was what you’d wanted.”
Emotions flashed across her face. She opened her mouth, as if she were about to say something, then shook her head.
“Thank you for saying that. I, ah...” She drew in a breath. “I have a meeting in an hour with a lot of prep work and you have to get back to the bank. Let’s talk soon.”
“The sooner the better. We need to get the trailers remodeled and figure out what to do with this space.”
“Absolutely.”
He hesitated, unable to shake the feeling that there was more she wanted to discuss, but she only smiled.
What had she been thinking and what had she wanted to say? He was about to cross the street toward the bank when he realized what it was. He’d told her he would have married her if that was what she wanted—a long way from saying he’d wanted it, too.
Not that they were in love anymore, or even dating. But they’d been in the middle of a “what if” conversation and he hadn’t played along.
He thought about going back to say something, only he couldn’t think of what. What would he tell her? That he was sorry she’d given up the baby? That he wished they’d gotten married? He wasn’t sure either of those statements were true. What he did know was that both he and Silver had come a long way and he was looking forward to finding out where they went after today.
* * *
SILVER COULDN’T SHAKE the fact that she’d been a complete and utter coward. She’d always thought of herself as reasonably brave and self-aware, but at the exact moment when she should have told Drew about Autumn and Leigh and the wedding, she’d said nothing.
Drew had given her the perfect opening. Honestly, what had she been waiting for? But instead of taking advantage of the moment, of coming clean, she’d bolted. Now, not only did she still have to tell him, she got to beat herself up. She’d been five kinds of dumb.
She walked into the conference room at Weddings Out of the Box. Renee was already there, tablet in hand, samples scattered around the table and a laptop opened to the teleconferencing program.
“Hi,” she said when she saw Silver. “Thanks for coming. I know you could have just provided a drink list, but I appreciate you being here. I’ve never transferred a partially planned wedding from one bride and groom to another, so I can’t know if I’m doing it right.”
“I’m not sure there’s a wrong way to do it,” Silver told her with a smile. “Except for messing up all the details.”
“If this is you trying to make me feel better, it’s not working.”
“Sorry.” Silver sat across from her. “Leigh is super excited to have the wedding mostly planned. She’s busy moving out of her place and working with her fiancé on the house they’re having built, on top of work and getting ready for the honeymoon and raising her daughter. Leigh is very easygoing and she’s going to love everything you do.”
Renee smiled. “Thanks. I appreciate hearing that. I think I’ll be able to relax a little after our phone call when I know she’s happy with the choices already made.”
Renee glanced at the clock, then tapped a few keys on the computer. The screen showed the log-on sequence. Silver had seen the program in action before. It allowed multiple viewers to see each other and the Weddings Out of the Box conference room. Slides could be displayed to everyone attending the call, so they were all on the same page, so to speak. In the past, Silver had been at the meetings as a vendor representing AlcoHaul and occasionally the caterer. Today she was also a friend of the bride.
