Not Quite Over You
Page 38
Drew appreciated Autumn’s ability to adjust to her new family members but her words were a stark reminder that he wasn’t anything special in her life. She already had a father and a stepfather. What did her biological father matter? Maybe when she was older she might want to learn about his family, but now, he was just the new guy.
He remembered when Silver had shown up at his college dorm. He’d been happy to see her, but also curious as to the reason for her unexpected visit. He’d never imagined she was pregnant.
He remembered feeling trapped and scared. His future had disappeared with a handful of words. He’d wanted to deny the possibility, to tell her he didn’t accept that, only that wasn’t who he was. So he’d immediately offered to marry her.
She’d refused with a firmness that had reassured him. Now, in hindsight, he wondered if she’d known him better than he’d known himself. She’d obviously guessed what he would do and was prepared to give him an out. Adoption. An out he’d jumped at.
But what if things had been different? What if he really had wanted to marry her? What if instead of feeling trapped, he’d been excited and happy? What if they’d gotten back together and started their life as the parents of a newborn? What if Autumn had been theirs?
He would have been her only dad. Sure, it would have been hard, but worth it. Instead he’d taken the easy way out—he’d let her go.
“You okay?” Silver asked.
He nodded. “Great.” He faked a smile. “I’m really looking forward to the wedding, Leigh. Thank you for the invitation.” He rose. “I should let you get settled. I’ll see you Saturday.”
Autumn jumped to her feet. “We’re staying at the Sweet Dreams Inn. We have the princess room. I love it!” She smiled at Silver. “We could turn your room into a princess room.”
“We could and yet we won’t,” Silver told her. “You’re going to be plenty spoiled on your visit, as it is. You don’t need any more princessing.”
Autumn slid onto her lap. “No one can be too spoiled.”
They laughed together. Drew recognized the ease and familiarity between them—because they knew each other. Silver had been a part of her life since she’d been born. They had a connection he would never have with her.
Regret cut through him. Regret and envy and disappointment, although he couldn’t say if the latter was with himself or Silver. There was too much to think about, too much to deal with. Later, he promised himself. He would figure it out later.
“Does she know about Bethany?” he asked.
Silver frowned for a second, then smiled at him. “Aren’t you smart? No, she doesn’t.”
Autumn stood and moved in front of him. “Who is Bethany? Is she my age and can we be friends?”
“She’s not your age,” he said. “But she is one of Silver’s friends.”
“Okay.” Autumn’s tone was more “so?” than “wow, that’s interesting!”
He grinned. “She’s a princess. Her parents are the king and queen of El Bahar.”
Autumn spun to Silver. “For real? Can I meet her? Do I have to bow or curtsy? A real princess? Does she have a tiara?”
“You don’t have to curtsy and yes you can meet her and I don’t know about the tiara.” She looked at Drew. “Does Cade get a crown of some kind?”
Autumn spun to him. “Who’s Cade?”
“My cousin. He’s going to be marrying Bethany, which means he’ll be a prince.”
“Whoa! I so have to meet them both. Please, please, please?”
“We’ll see what we can do,” Silver told her. “Drew, I’m not sure I mentioned her energy level. You can see it’s pretty high.”
“It is.”
They talked for a couple more minutes, then he excused himself. When he got to his car, his phone rang. He glanced at the screen and saw his mother was trying to reach him. After pushing Ignore, he leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes.
He hadn’t known what to expect. Autumn was confident, charming and, as Silver had pointed out, full of energy. He wanted to get to know her better. He wanted to scream at Silver that she’d had no right to keep him from his child. Only she hadn’t kept him from anything. She’d offered him whatever he wanted and he’d walked away without a second thought.
Something that was simple to do when the baby was still smaller than a marble and much more theoretical, than when that same child was a walking, breathing eleven-year-old.
He’d assumed he wouldn’t ever care, wouldn’t ever regret. He’d gambled and lost. So what, if anything, did he do now?
CHAPTER TWELVE
“I HAVE GUILT,” Leigh admitted to Silver as they left the Learning Center after getting Autumn settled.
“She’s going to be totally fine,” Silver told her, unlocking her truck. “She’ll have the entire staff eating out of her hand in what, ten minutes? By noon she’ll be friends with everyone. Even if I’m wrong, she has her cell phone with her. She has your number and mine, so she can get in touch with either of us. You double-checked the child safety controls on her phone five times already so she can’t go online unsupervised. I’m kind of missing the problem.”
Leigh hugged her. “You’re so rational. That’s only one of the reasons I love you. Okay, let’s go talk to Pallas and work through all the last-minute details, then we have Mexican food for lunch.” She wrinkled her nose. “You do have Mexican food here in town, don’t you?”
“Yes, and it’s amazing.”
Silver drove the short distance to Weddings Out of the Box. As she waited at a light, Leigh glanced at her.
“Did you talk to Drew last night?”
“No. I almost called about three times, but I didn’t know if he’d want to talk to me.” Not her finest hour, but she’d been very aware of the roller coaster of emotions he’d gone through during his first meeting with Autumn. He’d been in awe of his daughter and a little nervous, but there had been a lot of anger, too. She’d seen it flare, then die down.
“Do you think he’s going to come to the wedding?” Leigh asked.
“He’ll be there. He’ll want to see Autumn and get to know her.”
She hoped the crowd of people would provide a nice buffer as he found his emotional footing. She knew he was dealing with a lot and she really didn’t want to fight. They only had a week with Autumn. It seemed wrong to waste even a second of that being angry.
Silver pulled into the parking lot and turned off the engine. “We’re a couple of minutes early. Want to go get a coffee?”
“No, I’m good. We can just talk.”
Silver rolled her eyes. “I recognize your mom tone. You have something to say. Spit it out.”
Leigh angled toward her and smiled. “Nothing dire, I promise. I’m just curious about a few things.” She looked out the window. “This town is much smaller than I expected. I’m surprised you stayed.”
As Silver had been braced for a question about whether or not she and Drew were sleeping together, she had to take a second to switch mental gears. “Okay. It’s small but nice. When I moved back, I was ready to be a part of my uncle’s business. I knew there was some opportunity there.”
He remembered when Silver had shown up at his college dorm. He’d been happy to see her, but also curious as to the reason for her unexpected visit. He’d never imagined she was pregnant.
He remembered feeling trapped and scared. His future had disappeared with a handful of words. He’d wanted to deny the possibility, to tell her he didn’t accept that, only that wasn’t who he was. So he’d immediately offered to marry her.
She’d refused with a firmness that had reassured him. Now, in hindsight, he wondered if she’d known him better than he’d known himself. She’d obviously guessed what he would do and was prepared to give him an out. Adoption. An out he’d jumped at.
But what if things had been different? What if he really had wanted to marry her? What if instead of feeling trapped, he’d been excited and happy? What if they’d gotten back together and started their life as the parents of a newborn? What if Autumn had been theirs?
He would have been her only dad. Sure, it would have been hard, but worth it. Instead he’d taken the easy way out—he’d let her go.
“You okay?” Silver asked.
He nodded. “Great.” He faked a smile. “I’m really looking forward to the wedding, Leigh. Thank you for the invitation.” He rose. “I should let you get settled. I’ll see you Saturday.”
Autumn jumped to her feet. “We’re staying at the Sweet Dreams Inn. We have the princess room. I love it!” She smiled at Silver. “We could turn your room into a princess room.”
“We could and yet we won’t,” Silver told her. “You’re going to be plenty spoiled on your visit, as it is. You don’t need any more princessing.”
Autumn slid onto her lap. “No one can be too spoiled.”
They laughed together. Drew recognized the ease and familiarity between them—because they knew each other. Silver had been a part of her life since she’d been born. They had a connection he would never have with her.
Regret cut through him. Regret and envy and disappointment, although he couldn’t say if the latter was with himself or Silver. There was too much to think about, too much to deal with. Later, he promised himself. He would figure it out later.
“Does she know about Bethany?” he asked.
Silver frowned for a second, then smiled at him. “Aren’t you smart? No, she doesn’t.”
Autumn stood and moved in front of him. “Who is Bethany? Is she my age and can we be friends?”
“She’s not your age,” he said. “But she is one of Silver’s friends.”
“Okay.” Autumn’s tone was more “so?” than “wow, that’s interesting!”
He grinned. “She’s a princess. Her parents are the king and queen of El Bahar.”
Autumn spun to Silver. “For real? Can I meet her? Do I have to bow or curtsy? A real princess? Does she have a tiara?”
“You don’t have to curtsy and yes you can meet her and I don’t know about the tiara.” She looked at Drew. “Does Cade get a crown of some kind?”
Autumn spun to him. “Who’s Cade?”
“My cousin. He’s going to be marrying Bethany, which means he’ll be a prince.”
“Whoa! I so have to meet them both. Please, please, please?”
“We’ll see what we can do,” Silver told her. “Drew, I’m not sure I mentioned her energy level. You can see it’s pretty high.”
“It is.”
They talked for a couple more minutes, then he excused himself. When he got to his car, his phone rang. He glanced at the screen and saw his mother was trying to reach him. After pushing Ignore, he leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes.
He hadn’t known what to expect. Autumn was confident, charming and, as Silver had pointed out, full of energy. He wanted to get to know her better. He wanted to scream at Silver that she’d had no right to keep him from his child. Only she hadn’t kept him from anything. She’d offered him whatever he wanted and he’d walked away without a second thought.
Something that was simple to do when the baby was still smaller than a marble and much more theoretical, than when that same child was a walking, breathing eleven-year-old.
He’d assumed he wouldn’t ever care, wouldn’t ever regret. He’d gambled and lost. So what, if anything, did he do now?
CHAPTER TWELVE
“I HAVE GUILT,” Leigh admitted to Silver as they left the Learning Center after getting Autumn settled.
“She’s going to be totally fine,” Silver told her, unlocking her truck. “She’ll have the entire staff eating out of her hand in what, ten minutes? By noon she’ll be friends with everyone. Even if I’m wrong, she has her cell phone with her. She has your number and mine, so she can get in touch with either of us. You double-checked the child safety controls on her phone five times already so she can’t go online unsupervised. I’m kind of missing the problem.”
Leigh hugged her. “You’re so rational. That’s only one of the reasons I love you. Okay, let’s go talk to Pallas and work through all the last-minute details, then we have Mexican food for lunch.” She wrinkled her nose. “You do have Mexican food here in town, don’t you?”
“Yes, and it’s amazing.”
Silver drove the short distance to Weddings Out of the Box. As she waited at a light, Leigh glanced at her.
“Did you talk to Drew last night?”
“No. I almost called about three times, but I didn’t know if he’d want to talk to me.” Not her finest hour, but she’d been very aware of the roller coaster of emotions he’d gone through during his first meeting with Autumn. He’d been in awe of his daughter and a little nervous, but there had been a lot of anger, too. She’d seen it flare, then die down.
“Do you think he’s going to come to the wedding?” Leigh asked.
“He’ll be there. He’ll want to see Autumn and get to know her.”
She hoped the crowd of people would provide a nice buffer as he found his emotional footing. She knew he was dealing with a lot and she really didn’t want to fight. They only had a week with Autumn. It seemed wrong to waste even a second of that being angry.
Silver pulled into the parking lot and turned off the engine. “We’re a couple of minutes early. Want to go get a coffee?”
“No, I’m good. We can just talk.”
Silver rolled her eyes. “I recognize your mom tone. You have something to say. Spit it out.”
Leigh angled toward her and smiled. “Nothing dire, I promise. I’m just curious about a few things.” She looked out the window. “This town is much smaller than I expected. I’m surprised you stayed.”
As Silver had been braced for a question about whether or not she and Drew were sleeping together, she had to take a second to switch mental gears. “Okay. It’s small but nice. When I moved back, I was ready to be a part of my uncle’s business. I knew there was some opportunity there.”
