Nothing Left to Lose
Page 14
“Do you dream like that every night?” he asked, bending his head to look into my eyes.
“Yeah,” I nodded. “But I don’t want to talk about it, so please don’t ask. I’m sorry I woke you up.”
His green eyes locked on mine. They were strangely calming. “I don’t mind that you woke me up. I just wish you’d let me try and help you.”
Help me? No one could help me; it was too late for that. The only person that could help me had died.
“You can’t.” I put my hand on his chest and pushed him away from me. He was standing so close and I was getting hot, trapped in the corner. I needed some air.
“I can, you just need to let me in,” he said, catching my hand again.
I groaned in frustration. “Ashton, please just leave. I just need some air or something. I’m sorry I woke you, I won’t go back to sleep again so you can get some sleep.” I stepped away from him, needing a little personal space.
He shook his head adamantly. “You can go back to sleep. I’ll watch over you. That way you might not have any more nightmares,” he suggested, gripping the back of my dresser chair and pulling it to the side of the bed.
I laughed incredulously. “And that’s part of your new job description?” I shot back sarcastically.
He shook his head, turning on my bedside lamp before walking over to switch the ceiling lights off. “Nope. But I want you to feel safe with me so I’ll do whatever it takes.”
I scoffed, watching as plopped himself down in the chair. “So you’re going to watch me sleep?”
“Yeah,” he confirmed, setting his gun and knife on the floor at the side of the chair.
I gulped at his stern expression. “Ashton, seriously, please just go to bed. I won’t wake you again.” I reached over and picked up a book from the side and got comfy on my bed to read it.
He sighed deeply. “Look, when you get to know me, you’ll know that once I’ve made my mind up about something, there’s not much that can change it. Now I’m either gonna sit here and watch you sleep, or I’m gonna sit here and watch you read,” he stated, smiling at me cockily.
I frowned as I read his expression. It was deadly serious; he wasn’t going back to sleep either way. We glared at each other for a couple of minutes, neither of us wanting to back down. Finally, I sighed deeply, knowing I’d lost. What he didn’t know was that I would still have nightmares with him sitting there anyway, so this little thing was pointless. My father had already tried sitting in the room while I slept; nothing helped. I’d tried everything, drugs, hypnotists, yoga; nothing had any effect on them. Maybe Ashton needed to find that out the hard way and lose a night of sleep before he’d give up trying to help me.
I sighed and tossed my book in his direction. “Fine. Wanna read that?” I asked as he caught it.
He grinned and looked at the cover. “You like vampires?” he asked, holding up my battered and abused copy of Twilight.
I smiled back. “I like that one,” I admitted, settling back into the bed and just watching him flick through to the first page. “Good night.”
“Night, Anna.” Sitting there reading, in just a pair of black boxers, I saw no sign of the badass from minutes before, he was back to male model again now.
I closed my eyes and willed myself to sleep, knowing that it wouldn’t come easy. It never did.
Chapter Four
I woke in the morning after having one of the best night’s sleep I’d had in years. I had laid awake for ages with my back to him, listening to him flipping the pages of the book. But the thing that I remembered most about last night was the moment I realised he’d fallen asleep. Ashton Taylor, easily the most handsome man I had seen in a long time, snored. And not just a little, quiet snore either; it was a loud chainsaw-type sound. For a long time I’d laid there, giggling to myself, as I watched him with his head propped against his hand, his legs folded under him and the book abandoned on his lap. It was actually a cute sight. I’d eventually fallen asleep too, still hearing the sound of his snores even in my dreams. It was nice actually because it was like they’d stopped me from going into a deep sleep. I hadn’t had any more nightmares last night, just like he’d hoped.
I sighed contentedly and looked over at him still slumped in the same position. He would probably suffer for the awkward position all day long. I smiled weakly and pulled the sheets up around my shoulders as he stirred too, wincing as he moved and blinked a couple of times.
“Hi,” I greeted, unsure what I was supposed to say. This was a first for me.
“Morning,” he yawned, sitting forward and arching his back, letting out a little groan. “You sleep okay?”
I smiled and nodded, wondering if I should tease him for snoring so loud. I decided against it, after all, he had attempted to stay awake all night so I could sleep. It wasn’t my place to make fun of him after he’d forgone his bed for me. “Actually, yeah I did. Thanks,” I answered sheepishly.
He grinned triumphantly, swinging his legs off the chair and standing up, stretching. Without my permission, my eyes instantly raked down his body, taking in every inch of his perfection from his tanned skin, his chiselled abs and the little V-line that disappeared down into his underwear. I gulped and closed my eyes quickly before he caught me watching him.
“You think I could maybe borrow this so I can read the end?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I nodded. “But I don’t want to talk about it, so please don’t ask. I’m sorry I woke you up.”
His green eyes locked on mine. They were strangely calming. “I don’t mind that you woke me up. I just wish you’d let me try and help you.”
Help me? No one could help me; it was too late for that. The only person that could help me had died.
“You can’t.” I put my hand on his chest and pushed him away from me. He was standing so close and I was getting hot, trapped in the corner. I needed some air.
“I can, you just need to let me in,” he said, catching my hand again.
I groaned in frustration. “Ashton, please just leave. I just need some air or something. I’m sorry I woke you, I won’t go back to sleep again so you can get some sleep.” I stepped away from him, needing a little personal space.
He shook his head adamantly. “You can go back to sleep. I’ll watch over you. That way you might not have any more nightmares,” he suggested, gripping the back of my dresser chair and pulling it to the side of the bed.
I laughed incredulously. “And that’s part of your new job description?” I shot back sarcastically.
He shook his head, turning on my bedside lamp before walking over to switch the ceiling lights off. “Nope. But I want you to feel safe with me so I’ll do whatever it takes.”
I scoffed, watching as plopped himself down in the chair. “So you’re going to watch me sleep?”
“Yeah,” he confirmed, setting his gun and knife on the floor at the side of the chair.
I gulped at his stern expression. “Ashton, seriously, please just go to bed. I won’t wake you again.” I reached over and picked up a book from the side and got comfy on my bed to read it.
He sighed deeply. “Look, when you get to know me, you’ll know that once I’ve made my mind up about something, there’s not much that can change it. Now I’m either gonna sit here and watch you sleep, or I’m gonna sit here and watch you read,” he stated, smiling at me cockily.
I frowned as I read his expression. It was deadly serious; he wasn’t going back to sleep either way. We glared at each other for a couple of minutes, neither of us wanting to back down. Finally, I sighed deeply, knowing I’d lost. What he didn’t know was that I would still have nightmares with him sitting there anyway, so this little thing was pointless. My father had already tried sitting in the room while I slept; nothing helped. I’d tried everything, drugs, hypnotists, yoga; nothing had any effect on them. Maybe Ashton needed to find that out the hard way and lose a night of sleep before he’d give up trying to help me.
I sighed and tossed my book in his direction. “Fine. Wanna read that?” I asked as he caught it.
He grinned and looked at the cover. “You like vampires?” he asked, holding up my battered and abused copy of Twilight.
I smiled back. “I like that one,” I admitted, settling back into the bed and just watching him flick through to the first page. “Good night.”
“Night, Anna.” Sitting there reading, in just a pair of black boxers, I saw no sign of the badass from minutes before, he was back to male model again now.
I closed my eyes and willed myself to sleep, knowing that it wouldn’t come easy. It never did.
Chapter Four
I woke in the morning after having one of the best night’s sleep I’d had in years. I had laid awake for ages with my back to him, listening to him flipping the pages of the book. But the thing that I remembered most about last night was the moment I realised he’d fallen asleep. Ashton Taylor, easily the most handsome man I had seen in a long time, snored. And not just a little, quiet snore either; it was a loud chainsaw-type sound. For a long time I’d laid there, giggling to myself, as I watched him with his head propped against his hand, his legs folded under him and the book abandoned on his lap. It was actually a cute sight. I’d eventually fallen asleep too, still hearing the sound of his snores even in my dreams. It was nice actually because it was like they’d stopped me from going into a deep sleep. I hadn’t had any more nightmares last night, just like he’d hoped.
I sighed contentedly and looked over at him still slumped in the same position. He would probably suffer for the awkward position all day long. I smiled weakly and pulled the sheets up around my shoulders as he stirred too, wincing as he moved and blinked a couple of times.
“Hi,” I greeted, unsure what I was supposed to say. This was a first for me.
“Morning,” he yawned, sitting forward and arching his back, letting out a little groan. “You sleep okay?”
I smiled and nodded, wondering if I should tease him for snoring so loud. I decided against it, after all, he had attempted to stay awake all night so I could sleep. It wasn’t my place to make fun of him after he’d forgone his bed for me. “Actually, yeah I did. Thanks,” I answered sheepishly.
He grinned triumphantly, swinging his legs off the chair and standing up, stretching. Without my permission, my eyes instantly raked down his body, taking in every inch of his perfection from his tanned skin, his chiselled abs and the little V-line that disappeared down into his underwear. I gulped and closed my eyes quickly before he caught me watching him.
“You think I could maybe borrow this so I can read the end?” he asked.
