Now I Rise
Page 23
Radu answered with a similar smile.
To Radu’s surprise, the ambassador took it as an invitation. He left his companions and made his way to Radu’s side.
“You stood next to the sultan before,” the ambassador said without preamble.
“Things change.”
“They do. I am Cyprian.”
“Radu.”
Cyprian clasped Radu’s hand, holding on for a few seconds more than seemed necessary. Radu was always deeply aware of touching, nervous to do anything out of the ordinary. As though someone might figure out he was not normal by the way he lingered in a hug, or drew too close while standing. Cyprian did not seem to have this same worry. He leaned in close, his unusual eyes piercing Radu. They were the color of the sea on a stormy day, and had a similar effect on Radu as that of stepping onto a boat. The floor swam beneath him for a moment, until Cyprian looked away.
“Tell me, is there somewhere we could get a meal outside the palace?” the ambassador asked. “It is far colder here than I remembered.”
It was, in fact, quite warm in the room in spite of the season. But Radu did not think Cyprian referred to the temperature.
“I am sorry.” Radu found to his surprise that he actually was. “We have a party to prepare for.”
“I will find you there, then.” Bowing his head, Cyprian smiled, his eyes crinkling until they nearly disappeared. Radu thought Mehmed’s smile the best in the world, but he could not deny that something about Cyprian’s transformed his whole face in a way that made Radu feel some hope for the first time in days.
As Radu was changing for the party, a knock came at his door.
Opening it, he was shocked to find Mehmed standing there. Exactly as he had hoped and dreamed. “Mehm— My sultan?” Radu bowed low.
“Stay here,” Mehmed said to the Janissary guards who always accompanied him. He brushed past Radu and waited for him to close the door.
Radu’s heart raced, so loudly that he again wondered if Mehmed could hear it. “What is it?”
Mehmed paced the small length of Radu’s receiving room. His hands were clasped behind his back, his brows drawn tight. “I have an idea.”
“Oh?” Radu watched him. His presence filled the room. Mehmed did not talk further. Radu needed him to talk, needed to keep him here. “I have good news! Urbana said we can test the Basilica tomorrow. I wonder if we should make a demonstration of it. We could even invite the ambassadors. Let them run back with tales of your astonishing artillery.”
Mehmed’s gaze was on the floor, and though he nodded, he did not seem to have really heard Radu. “I sent forces into the Peloponnese today. They will keep the emperor’s brothers from going to his aid in Constantinople. As soon as our troops set up a line there, we have effectively declared war. But I think I will do it sooner.”
Radu wished there was enough room to pace by Mehmed’s side. He would burst if he had to remain by the door. “The cannon demonstration would be the perfect moment!” He could see it playing out. Everyone lining up, watching. The shock and awe of the court. The fear of the ambassadors. Mehmed looking at him with secret, joyful pride. And it was all Radu’s doing. Without him, no one would have helped Urbana. The cannon was his project alone. Radu’s triumph would be used to declare war, and they could finally end this pretense at distance.
Mehmed stopped. He narrowed his eyes at Radu, expression unreadable. “I saw that ambassador seeking you out.”
“I— What?”
“The young one. He sought you out the first moment he could. Why?”
Radu scrambled to adjust the trajectory of his thoughts. “I do not know, actually. He wanted to take a meal together.”
“Was that all he said?”
“He remarked on the difference in my post from last time, when I stood at your side.”
Mehmed smiled. It had none of the warmth of Cyprian’s smile. “That was what I had hoped. Radu, I need you to do something. Something I can trust no one else to do. Something only you can do for me. For the empire. For the cause of our God.”
Radu’s heart beat even faster. Something only he could do for Mehmed. “Yes. Anything. You know I would do anything.”
“At the party, seek out the ambassador. Tell him you want to leave me. Tell him you want to aid Constantine with your knowledge of my plans. Tell him you wish to be a traitor.”
Radu could not process what was being asked. “But … then I will be in the city. How will I get back in time to join you?”
“You will be more valuable to me behind the walls than any man on my side of them.”
Radu could not pick which path of thought to follow. Happiness that he would be the most valuable man in the world to Mehmed? Fear of what he was being asked to do? Or disappointment that after all his planning and work, he would not stand with Mehmed at the wall?
“How will I convince them? And if I do, what do you want me to tell Constantine?”
“Tell him anything you wish. In fact, tell him the truth. Tell him I am better prepared than anyone who has led forces against the wall. Tell him of my navy, my cannons, my legions of men. Tell him Constantinople will fall. Or, tell him that he has hope still. Either way, give him verifiable information and tell him you wish to fight at his side against the people who kidnapped you and stole your childhood.”
“But I do not think that!”
Mehmed put his hands on Radu’s shoulders, steadying him, forcing Radu to meet his eyes. “I know. But he does not. You will be my eyes and hands behind the wall.”
“I wanted to be with you.” Radu heard the longing in his own voice, but could not hide it. The idea of another separation—for a length of time no one could predict—was as cruel as a knife in his chest.
“I need you elsewhere. Do you think you can do it?”
Radu nodded, his head bobbing almost of its own volition.
“The ambassador will trust you. He seemed to … like you.”
Radu came back to himself sharply. He searched Mehmed’s face for a hint that there was something behind his words. Mehmed leaned closer, so close Radu could feel the other man’s breath on his own lips. “Do not forget where your loyalties lie. Promise me.”
It would be only a matter of leaning in to kiss. Radu managed to whisper, “I could never forget.”
To Radu’s surprise, the ambassador took it as an invitation. He left his companions and made his way to Radu’s side.
“You stood next to the sultan before,” the ambassador said without preamble.
“Things change.”
“They do. I am Cyprian.”
“Radu.”
Cyprian clasped Radu’s hand, holding on for a few seconds more than seemed necessary. Radu was always deeply aware of touching, nervous to do anything out of the ordinary. As though someone might figure out he was not normal by the way he lingered in a hug, or drew too close while standing. Cyprian did not seem to have this same worry. He leaned in close, his unusual eyes piercing Radu. They were the color of the sea on a stormy day, and had a similar effect on Radu as that of stepping onto a boat. The floor swam beneath him for a moment, until Cyprian looked away.
“Tell me, is there somewhere we could get a meal outside the palace?” the ambassador asked. “It is far colder here than I remembered.”
It was, in fact, quite warm in the room in spite of the season. But Radu did not think Cyprian referred to the temperature.
“I am sorry.” Radu found to his surprise that he actually was. “We have a party to prepare for.”
“I will find you there, then.” Bowing his head, Cyprian smiled, his eyes crinkling until they nearly disappeared. Radu thought Mehmed’s smile the best in the world, but he could not deny that something about Cyprian’s transformed his whole face in a way that made Radu feel some hope for the first time in days.
As Radu was changing for the party, a knock came at his door.
Opening it, he was shocked to find Mehmed standing there. Exactly as he had hoped and dreamed. “Mehm— My sultan?” Radu bowed low.
“Stay here,” Mehmed said to the Janissary guards who always accompanied him. He brushed past Radu and waited for him to close the door.
Radu’s heart raced, so loudly that he again wondered if Mehmed could hear it. “What is it?”
Mehmed paced the small length of Radu’s receiving room. His hands were clasped behind his back, his brows drawn tight. “I have an idea.”
“Oh?” Radu watched him. His presence filled the room. Mehmed did not talk further. Radu needed him to talk, needed to keep him here. “I have good news! Urbana said we can test the Basilica tomorrow. I wonder if we should make a demonstration of it. We could even invite the ambassadors. Let them run back with tales of your astonishing artillery.”
Mehmed’s gaze was on the floor, and though he nodded, he did not seem to have really heard Radu. “I sent forces into the Peloponnese today. They will keep the emperor’s brothers from going to his aid in Constantinople. As soon as our troops set up a line there, we have effectively declared war. But I think I will do it sooner.”
Radu wished there was enough room to pace by Mehmed’s side. He would burst if he had to remain by the door. “The cannon demonstration would be the perfect moment!” He could see it playing out. Everyone lining up, watching. The shock and awe of the court. The fear of the ambassadors. Mehmed looking at him with secret, joyful pride. And it was all Radu’s doing. Without him, no one would have helped Urbana. The cannon was his project alone. Radu’s triumph would be used to declare war, and they could finally end this pretense at distance.
Mehmed stopped. He narrowed his eyes at Radu, expression unreadable. “I saw that ambassador seeking you out.”
“I— What?”
“The young one. He sought you out the first moment he could. Why?”
Radu scrambled to adjust the trajectory of his thoughts. “I do not know, actually. He wanted to take a meal together.”
“Was that all he said?”
“He remarked on the difference in my post from last time, when I stood at your side.”
Mehmed smiled. It had none of the warmth of Cyprian’s smile. “That was what I had hoped. Radu, I need you to do something. Something I can trust no one else to do. Something only you can do for me. For the empire. For the cause of our God.”
Radu’s heart beat even faster. Something only he could do for Mehmed. “Yes. Anything. You know I would do anything.”
“At the party, seek out the ambassador. Tell him you want to leave me. Tell him you want to aid Constantine with your knowledge of my plans. Tell him you wish to be a traitor.”
Radu could not process what was being asked. “But … then I will be in the city. How will I get back in time to join you?”
“You will be more valuable to me behind the walls than any man on my side of them.”
Radu could not pick which path of thought to follow. Happiness that he would be the most valuable man in the world to Mehmed? Fear of what he was being asked to do? Or disappointment that after all his planning and work, he would not stand with Mehmed at the wall?
“How will I convince them? And if I do, what do you want me to tell Constantine?”
“Tell him anything you wish. In fact, tell him the truth. Tell him I am better prepared than anyone who has led forces against the wall. Tell him of my navy, my cannons, my legions of men. Tell him Constantinople will fall. Or, tell him that he has hope still. Either way, give him verifiable information and tell him you wish to fight at his side against the people who kidnapped you and stole your childhood.”
“But I do not think that!”
Mehmed put his hands on Radu’s shoulders, steadying him, forcing Radu to meet his eyes. “I know. But he does not. You will be my eyes and hands behind the wall.”
“I wanted to be with you.” Radu heard the longing in his own voice, but could not hide it. The idea of another separation—for a length of time no one could predict—was as cruel as a knife in his chest.
“I need you elsewhere. Do you think you can do it?”
Radu nodded, his head bobbing almost of its own volition.
“The ambassador will trust you. He seemed to … like you.”
Radu came back to himself sharply. He searched Mehmed’s face for a hint that there was something behind his words. Mehmed leaned closer, so close Radu could feel the other man’s breath on his own lips. “Do not forget where your loyalties lie. Promise me.”
It would be only a matter of leaning in to kiss. Radu managed to whisper, “I could never forget.”
