Now That You Mention It
Page 82
Mom got up and called Jake. I called Poe, but it went right to voice mail, so I left a message, then texted the same thing.
I know you’re upset right now. Call me, honey. I love you.
“Let me know if you hear anything, Mom,” I said. She nodded, and I went back to my car and drove to Oberon Cove, pulled into my little space and ran down the dock. Boomer jumped up from where he was lying on the top deck and woofed happily.
“Poe?” I said, bursting into the house. “Poe, honey?” I checked my room, her room. I’d picked her flowers the last time she slept over—three nights ago—and they were still there, dahlias and orange geranium leaves.
Rain started to fall, hard and angry. What did you do to my girl, Lily? How could you?
Poe wasn’t on the top deck, either.
“Come on, Boomer,” I said, and he followed me down the stairs, back into the car.
I called my mom, told her I was going downtown and would take a look around for Poe, check in with the storekeepers and lobstermen.
Wait a minute.
I called Sullivan. “Where’s Luke?” I asked tersely.
“He’s power-washing the Donovans’ sailboat. I can see him from here.” We both knew why I was asking. “Any luck yet?”
“No. Sorry, Sullivan.”
“It’s all right. You had to ask. I’ll keep an eye on him.”
“I’ll talk to you later.”
“Good luck, honey.”
The endearment brought tears to my eyes.
At the ferry, I showed Jake a picture of Poe I had on my phone—her and Audrey, from the sleepover—to make sure he knew who was missing. “I’ll keep an eye out,” he said, hitching up his pants.
“Thanks, Jake.”
I went into the bookstore and Lala’s and the restaurants, and asked the same questions each time. Have you seen this girl? She’s upset. Her name is Poe. Blue hair. Ask her to call her aunt or grandmother if you see her.
The last stop on the street was the general store and post office. I braced for Teeny Fletcher’s bitchery.
“Teeny, my niece—”
“I heard all about it. Audrey just called me.” She looked at me with that sour face. “Good luck finding her. Let us know if you need anything.”
I blinked. “Thank you.”
I got back in my car and gripped the steering wheel hard. Where else could I look? The high school? I guess she might go there. The grammar school playground, maybe? Boomer wagged his tail and snuffled my ear. “Not now, buddy,” I said, pushing his big head away.
I glanced out at the harbor. Tide was dead low, just about to change. The moon was full, so it’d be awfully high tonight.
And then I knew. I knew where she was.
I floored it through town, down Perez Avenue, past the high school, down Route 12, which had never made any sense to me, since the island didn’t have eleven other routes.
Past Mom’s house. Donna’s car was there. Good. I kept driving to where the road ended a few hundred yards past our place, at the edge of the state forest, got out and started running, Boomer cantering joyously behind me, jowls flapping, tail like a banner. The rain soaked my shirt, making it flop against my ribs.
I should’ve let someone know where I was going. But there was no cell service way out here, and I wasn’t going to waste time by going back.
Through the forest, my old friend. A blue jay squawked, ratting out my presence to all other wildlife. I saw a flash ahead—a fox, maybe, or a rabbit. I came out of the woods onto the rocks, my feet sure and fast, Boomer right beside me, the best dog ever, the Dog of Dogs. The waves were loud, the water dark gray.
There it was. Our cave.
“Poe!” I yelled. “Are you in there?”
No answer. If she wasn’t here, I had no idea where to look. But I’d keep on looking until I found her, damn it.
“Poe?”
Boomer barked.
I climbed down the rocks and went in, the cold, mineral smell of rock mixing with the sharp smells of the sea.
She was lying in the fetal position on the little plateau in the back of the cave, where Lily and I once told each other stories.
“Oh, baby,” I said, my feet crunching on the pebbles as I went to her. “I’m so sorry.” Wrapping my arms around her, I pulled her against me, feeling her heave with sobs. She was so light, just like Lily had been. “I’m so sorry,” I said.
“How could she do this?”
“I don’t know, honey. I don’t know any details.”
“She stabbed someone! She’ll never get out now!”
I just rocked my niece and kissed her head. Boomer barked from outside, too wary of the water to come down. The waves were lapping at the entrance now. We’d have to wade out. “We need to get out of here, sweetheart,” I said. “The tide’s coming in.”
“I don’t care,” Poe said. “I don’t care about anything.” She curled against me as if warding off a blow, and her sobs shook in and out of her.
“I’m so sorry, honey,” I murmured. “I wish I had more to say than that, but I am. I know you miss her.”
A thin wail came out of Poe’s mouth.
“I do...but I don’t, Nora,” she sobbed, looking up at me, her face twisted in pain. “I told her the last time we talked that I wanted to stay here. That she should come back and live with Gran and we could all be together, and she said that wasn’t gonna happen, and I...I didn’t want to go back to Seattle. I told her I wanted to stay here, and now she’ll never get out, and part of me is...is...glad.” Her voice rose on the last word, going silent as she cried and cried and cried.
“Oh, baby,” I said, hugging her harder. I closed my eyes against my own tears and tried to think of something to say, something that would put things right.
There was nothing. All I could do was be here. The tide had risen enough that there was water in the mouth of the cave. Our pants would get wet, but who cared? I stroked Poe’s hair and her studded ear, and rubbed her back.
“I hated it here when I first came,” Poe said, pulling back from me and wiping her eyes, smearing her eyeliner. “It’s so boring. But it’s so...safe, too.” She sucked in a shuddering breath. “I don’t want to live with my mom. I love her so much, but I’m glad she can’t take me away. I’m a bad daughter. She must hate me. That’s why she stabbed that other person. So she wouldn’t have to be with me because she’s so mad.”
Poe broke down again.
“No, sweetheart. No. You’re the best thing she ever did, and she knows that. She’s always loved you so much.”
But there was some truth in Poe’s words. It wasn’t that Lily hated her own daughter...but somehow, in the wrong way, she was giving Poe what she needed, and making sure it couldn’t be undone. Stay in jail, and Poe was safe from her.
The same way my father had left us forever. Not to punish us...but maybe so he’d limit the damage.
Oh, Lily.
If there was any doubt my heart was broken, it was gone now.
When the water seeped into my shoe, I knew we had to go. I took a breath and looked up.
There were the words. My mouth opened.
Still here after all these years.
The memory flashed like lightning. A little girl’s hand, scraping words into the cave ceiling, tracing them over and over again. Our laughter bouncing off the cave walls. Lily’s hand in mine, her braids bouncing as we ran back home through the woods.
I know you’re upset right now. Call me, honey. I love you.
“Let me know if you hear anything, Mom,” I said. She nodded, and I went back to my car and drove to Oberon Cove, pulled into my little space and ran down the dock. Boomer jumped up from where he was lying on the top deck and woofed happily.
“Poe?” I said, bursting into the house. “Poe, honey?” I checked my room, her room. I’d picked her flowers the last time she slept over—three nights ago—and they were still there, dahlias and orange geranium leaves.
Rain started to fall, hard and angry. What did you do to my girl, Lily? How could you?
Poe wasn’t on the top deck, either.
“Come on, Boomer,” I said, and he followed me down the stairs, back into the car.
I called my mom, told her I was going downtown and would take a look around for Poe, check in with the storekeepers and lobstermen.
Wait a minute.
I called Sullivan. “Where’s Luke?” I asked tersely.
“He’s power-washing the Donovans’ sailboat. I can see him from here.” We both knew why I was asking. “Any luck yet?”
“No. Sorry, Sullivan.”
“It’s all right. You had to ask. I’ll keep an eye on him.”
“I’ll talk to you later.”
“Good luck, honey.”
The endearment brought tears to my eyes.
At the ferry, I showed Jake a picture of Poe I had on my phone—her and Audrey, from the sleepover—to make sure he knew who was missing. “I’ll keep an eye out,” he said, hitching up his pants.
“Thanks, Jake.”
I went into the bookstore and Lala’s and the restaurants, and asked the same questions each time. Have you seen this girl? She’s upset. Her name is Poe. Blue hair. Ask her to call her aunt or grandmother if you see her.
The last stop on the street was the general store and post office. I braced for Teeny Fletcher’s bitchery.
“Teeny, my niece—”
“I heard all about it. Audrey just called me.” She looked at me with that sour face. “Good luck finding her. Let us know if you need anything.”
I blinked. “Thank you.”
I got back in my car and gripped the steering wheel hard. Where else could I look? The high school? I guess she might go there. The grammar school playground, maybe? Boomer wagged his tail and snuffled my ear. “Not now, buddy,” I said, pushing his big head away.
I glanced out at the harbor. Tide was dead low, just about to change. The moon was full, so it’d be awfully high tonight.
And then I knew. I knew where she was.
I floored it through town, down Perez Avenue, past the high school, down Route 12, which had never made any sense to me, since the island didn’t have eleven other routes.
Past Mom’s house. Donna’s car was there. Good. I kept driving to where the road ended a few hundred yards past our place, at the edge of the state forest, got out and started running, Boomer cantering joyously behind me, jowls flapping, tail like a banner. The rain soaked my shirt, making it flop against my ribs.
I should’ve let someone know where I was going. But there was no cell service way out here, and I wasn’t going to waste time by going back.
Through the forest, my old friend. A blue jay squawked, ratting out my presence to all other wildlife. I saw a flash ahead—a fox, maybe, or a rabbit. I came out of the woods onto the rocks, my feet sure and fast, Boomer right beside me, the best dog ever, the Dog of Dogs. The waves were loud, the water dark gray.
There it was. Our cave.
“Poe!” I yelled. “Are you in there?”
No answer. If she wasn’t here, I had no idea where to look. But I’d keep on looking until I found her, damn it.
“Poe?”
Boomer barked.
I climbed down the rocks and went in, the cold, mineral smell of rock mixing with the sharp smells of the sea.
She was lying in the fetal position on the little plateau in the back of the cave, where Lily and I once told each other stories.
“Oh, baby,” I said, my feet crunching on the pebbles as I went to her. “I’m so sorry.” Wrapping my arms around her, I pulled her against me, feeling her heave with sobs. She was so light, just like Lily had been. “I’m so sorry,” I said.
“How could she do this?”
“I don’t know, honey. I don’t know any details.”
“She stabbed someone! She’ll never get out now!”
I just rocked my niece and kissed her head. Boomer barked from outside, too wary of the water to come down. The waves were lapping at the entrance now. We’d have to wade out. “We need to get out of here, sweetheart,” I said. “The tide’s coming in.”
“I don’t care,” Poe said. “I don’t care about anything.” She curled against me as if warding off a blow, and her sobs shook in and out of her.
“I’m so sorry, honey,” I murmured. “I wish I had more to say than that, but I am. I know you miss her.”
A thin wail came out of Poe’s mouth.
“I do...but I don’t, Nora,” she sobbed, looking up at me, her face twisted in pain. “I told her the last time we talked that I wanted to stay here. That she should come back and live with Gran and we could all be together, and she said that wasn’t gonna happen, and I...I didn’t want to go back to Seattle. I told her I wanted to stay here, and now she’ll never get out, and part of me is...is...glad.” Her voice rose on the last word, going silent as she cried and cried and cried.
“Oh, baby,” I said, hugging her harder. I closed my eyes against my own tears and tried to think of something to say, something that would put things right.
There was nothing. All I could do was be here. The tide had risen enough that there was water in the mouth of the cave. Our pants would get wet, but who cared? I stroked Poe’s hair and her studded ear, and rubbed her back.
“I hated it here when I first came,” Poe said, pulling back from me and wiping her eyes, smearing her eyeliner. “It’s so boring. But it’s so...safe, too.” She sucked in a shuddering breath. “I don’t want to live with my mom. I love her so much, but I’m glad she can’t take me away. I’m a bad daughter. She must hate me. That’s why she stabbed that other person. So she wouldn’t have to be with me because she’s so mad.”
Poe broke down again.
“No, sweetheart. No. You’re the best thing she ever did, and she knows that. She’s always loved you so much.”
But there was some truth in Poe’s words. It wasn’t that Lily hated her own daughter...but somehow, in the wrong way, she was giving Poe what she needed, and making sure it couldn’t be undone. Stay in jail, and Poe was safe from her.
The same way my father had left us forever. Not to punish us...but maybe so he’d limit the damage.
Oh, Lily.
If there was any doubt my heart was broken, it was gone now.
When the water seeped into my shoe, I knew we had to go. I took a breath and looked up.
There were the words. My mouth opened.
Still here after all these years.
The memory flashed like lightning. A little girl’s hand, scraping words into the cave ceiling, tracing them over and over again. Our laughter bouncing off the cave walls. Lily’s hand in mine, her braids bouncing as we ran back home through the woods.
