Nowhere But Here
Page 22
Can’t make me. I shake my head and step back.
“Olivia?” Cyrus calls from the living room. “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” Olivia raises her voice to answer while refusing to break eye contact with me. She lowers her tone again. “I promised Eli and your mother that I would take this to the grave. The way I see it, I already have one foot in, so what difference does it make.”
My gaze drifts to the picture trembling in her hand and I wince. The pink elephant in the chubby hands of the baby in the photo is more than familiar. He’s cherished and adored and has seen me through some of my scariest moments. His name is James and, at home, in Florida, he’s propped on my dresser looking a lot more worn and a lot less pink and lot more loved.
The baby is old enough to rip through the mess of presents in front of her. She has long brown hair and she wears the same pink dress that my mother drags out on my birthdays to show how I’ve grown over the years. I hate that the baby sports a huge smile as she beams reverently at the person who’s holding her—Olivia.
My lower lip quivers and tears burn my eyes. I’m too tired for this. I’m too tired and there’s no way this is true. It’s not. My mother would never lie to me. Never. “My mom left Snowflake when she found out she was pregnant with me.”
“Your mother walked out of this house, your home, with you in the dead of night right after your second birthday.”
This house? No way. “Your son turned us away. He left us. Both of us. Mom said not one of you wanted me.”
“Your entire life is a lie and I’m the only person willing to give you the truth,” she says. “And if you want the truth, you’re going to have to stay here in Kentucky, because God knows that your parents won’t tell you. Even if it’ll cost you your life.”
Olivia snatches my hand and shoves the picture into my palm, curling my fingers over it. I twist away from her grasp. “This picture doesn’t mean anything. Maybe we came back for a visit but we obviously didn’t stay.”
“It was no visit. You lived here once and your mother stole you from us.”
“Olivia?” Cyrus calls again.
She walks past me and this consuming anger causes me to lash out before she leaves me alone. “My mother told me that all of you are crazy. This photo is a fake and you’re a liar.”
Olivia smirks. “We both know that’s wrong, don’t we, Emily Star?”
The breath rushes from my body as if I’ve been socked in the stomach. “That’s not my name.”
“Yes,” she says simply. “It is.”
It is...rather it was.
Emily Star is the name on my birth certificate, but when my father adopted me, we changed it to Emily Catherine so that I shared my grandmother’s, Dad’s mom’s, name. “So you know what used to be my middle name. It doesn’t prove anything.”
“It does, and so does that picture.”
“Mom said that the people in Snowflake are the worst kind of evil.” Cruel, I know, and there’s a pang of hurt and guilt, but what she’s doing to me right now is nothing short of agony.
Olivia pauses. Grandmothers are supposed to be maternal. They’re supposed to bake cakes and pies and cookies and pat my hand and tell me not to worry. They aren’t supposed to use curse words or speak in code or try to break me on one of the worst days of my life.
As she studies me, I one hundred percent understand that she’s not the warm fuzzy type. But the way sadness weighs on her face, I discover she’s not immune to caustic words.
“I’m not evil,” she states.
My skin prickles. Well, she sure as hell isn’t nice.
“I’m not,” she repeats. Then she sighs. “Either guest bedroom is yours to use. The one on the left belonged to you. You used to lie in your crib and watch the sunrise with a smile on your face.”
I shut my eyes. She’s lying. Has to be. There’s no other explanation for this. The picture is fake. Her words are lies. This entire scenario is me having a psychotic break after she popped out of the casket.
Without saying a word, I stalk past her into the bathroom and lock her out.
Oz
I ENTER THE living room and there’s one major player missing: Emily. “Should I be concerned?”
Olivia rests her head against the couch and closes her eyes. “She’s in the bathroom. The child has had enough to deal with and needs some time alone.”
Because when I want time alone, I think toilets. “She’s not a child.”
Emily’s far from it. That body she has—those curves, the way her hips move when she walks, the way I fantasized about worshipping that flat stomach if we had privacy and she wasn’t Eli’s daughter—that’s no child.
Olivia cracks open an eye, but before she can respond, Cyrus jumps in. “Oz is right. She’s not the two-year-old that used to follow you around in your tomato garden.”
“If I wanted your opinion, I’d ask for it,” Olivia answers. “Both of you.”
Mom offers Olivia a hand. “You need to rest. I’ll wake you when we hear from Eli.”
The strain of the past few hours weighs Olivia down as she accepts. Together, they leave the room. Emily can’t get out of here fast enough, in my opinion. Olivia will use the strength she needs to defeat the cancer in order to maintain appearances for Emily.
When the door to Olivia’s bedroom shuts, I appraise Cyrus as I shift the chess pieces in my head. The board in front of me is complicated and I don’t have many pieces to begin with. “What do you need me to do?”
“Olivia?” Cyrus calls from the living room. “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” Olivia raises her voice to answer while refusing to break eye contact with me. She lowers her tone again. “I promised Eli and your mother that I would take this to the grave. The way I see it, I already have one foot in, so what difference does it make.”
My gaze drifts to the picture trembling in her hand and I wince. The pink elephant in the chubby hands of the baby in the photo is more than familiar. He’s cherished and adored and has seen me through some of my scariest moments. His name is James and, at home, in Florida, he’s propped on my dresser looking a lot more worn and a lot less pink and lot more loved.
The baby is old enough to rip through the mess of presents in front of her. She has long brown hair and she wears the same pink dress that my mother drags out on my birthdays to show how I’ve grown over the years. I hate that the baby sports a huge smile as she beams reverently at the person who’s holding her—Olivia.
My lower lip quivers and tears burn my eyes. I’m too tired for this. I’m too tired and there’s no way this is true. It’s not. My mother would never lie to me. Never. “My mom left Snowflake when she found out she was pregnant with me.”
“Your mother walked out of this house, your home, with you in the dead of night right after your second birthday.”
This house? No way. “Your son turned us away. He left us. Both of us. Mom said not one of you wanted me.”
“Your entire life is a lie and I’m the only person willing to give you the truth,” she says. “And if you want the truth, you’re going to have to stay here in Kentucky, because God knows that your parents won’t tell you. Even if it’ll cost you your life.”
Olivia snatches my hand and shoves the picture into my palm, curling my fingers over it. I twist away from her grasp. “This picture doesn’t mean anything. Maybe we came back for a visit but we obviously didn’t stay.”
“It was no visit. You lived here once and your mother stole you from us.”
“Olivia?” Cyrus calls again.
She walks past me and this consuming anger causes me to lash out before she leaves me alone. “My mother told me that all of you are crazy. This photo is a fake and you’re a liar.”
Olivia smirks. “We both know that’s wrong, don’t we, Emily Star?”
The breath rushes from my body as if I’ve been socked in the stomach. “That’s not my name.”
“Yes,” she says simply. “It is.”
It is...rather it was.
Emily Star is the name on my birth certificate, but when my father adopted me, we changed it to Emily Catherine so that I shared my grandmother’s, Dad’s mom’s, name. “So you know what used to be my middle name. It doesn’t prove anything.”
“It does, and so does that picture.”
“Mom said that the people in Snowflake are the worst kind of evil.” Cruel, I know, and there’s a pang of hurt and guilt, but what she’s doing to me right now is nothing short of agony.
Olivia pauses. Grandmothers are supposed to be maternal. They’re supposed to bake cakes and pies and cookies and pat my hand and tell me not to worry. They aren’t supposed to use curse words or speak in code or try to break me on one of the worst days of my life.
As she studies me, I one hundred percent understand that she’s not the warm fuzzy type. But the way sadness weighs on her face, I discover she’s not immune to caustic words.
“I’m not evil,” she states.
My skin prickles. Well, she sure as hell isn’t nice.
“I’m not,” she repeats. Then she sighs. “Either guest bedroom is yours to use. The one on the left belonged to you. You used to lie in your crib and watch the sunrise with a smile on your face.”
I shut my eyes. She’s lying. Has to be. There’s no other explanation for this. The picture is fake. Her words are lies. This entire scenario is me having a psychotic break after she popped out of the casket.
Without saying a word, I stalk past her into the bathroom and lock her out.
Oz
I ENTER THE living room and there’s one major player missing: Emily. “Should I be concerned?”
Olivia rests her head against the couch and closes her eyes. “She’s in the bathroom. The child has had enough to deal with and needs some time alone.”
Because when I want time alone, I think toilets. “She’s not a child.”
Emily’s far from it. That body she has—those curves, the way her hips move when she walks, the way I fantasized about worshipping that flat stomach if we had privacy and she wasn’t Eli’s daughter—that’s no child.
Olivia cracks open an eye, but before she can respond, Cyrus jumps in. “Oz is right. She’s not the two-year-old that used to follow you around in your tomato garden.”
“If I wanted your opinion, I’d ask for it,” Olivia answers. “Both of you.”
Mom offers Olivia a hand. “You need to rest. I’ll wake you when we hear from Eli.”
The strain of the past few hours weighs Olivia down as she accepts. Together, they leave the room. Emily can’t get out of here fast enough, in my opinion. Olivia will use the strength she needs to defeat the cancer in order to maintain appearances for Emily.
When the door to Olivia’s bedroom shuts, I appraise Cyrus as I shift the chess pieces in my head. The board in front of me is complicated and I don’t have many pieces to begin with. “What do you need me to do?”
