Of Silk and Steam
Page 65
“And I don’t regret it,” he told her somewhat fiercely. “I should. For treating you like that, for taking what I’ve wanted for so many years… But I wouldn’t take it back, Your Grace. I wouldn’t change a thing.”
“I don’t regret it either,” she whispered.
Doubt darkened his expression. “I don’t even know if you mean those words.” His voice grew tight. “But I want you to. Perhaps I want it too much.” His head bowed, the words roughening even further. “You’re free to go. I have no right to keep you here. I have no claim upon you.”
What? Mina froze.
As he stood, her fingers fell from his back, dragging over the taut muscle of his buttocks. Barrons hauled his trousers on and snatched his shirt from the ground. Two steps took him to the door, and there he hesitated.
There was no expression on his face as he turned, his hand hovering on the doorknob. “You’re the only thing tying me to the past, and perhaps it’s time to let you go. Perhaps it’s time to let it all go.” A world of regret echoed in his eyes. “I’m sorry that I kept you long after I should have. If you get dressed, I shall escort you to the wall. It’s as far as I can go, unfortunately, but I have no doubt you’ll make it home safely.”
And then he was gone, his footsteps echoing briskly down the hallway while her heart slowly started beating again in her chest.
I thought you said that you couldn’t let me go.
Nineteen
Pride kept her immobile for long seconds. Pride, that strange burning feeling somewhere in her chest and, more practically, a lack of clothes.
The room was a mess. So was she. Dragging herself to her feet, Mina tucked the sheet in between her breasts to anchor it around her.
His final words echoed in her ears: Perhaps it’s time to let you go. She was going home, back to her queen…and all she could feel was a lump of solid iron weighing her chest down.
This was what she’d wanted, wasn’t it? Mina pressed her knuckles to her lips. She didn’t know what to do.
For years she’d had a plan and moved toward it. Barrons had never been supposed to happen. And good God, what if he could help her?
What if she was making the biggest mistake of her life?
She didn’t have time to think her way through this mess. She had to make this choice, and she had to make it now. War was coming and the rookeries would burn beneath it, destroying people she’d come to know—and even admire a little. And Barrons would stay here until the end, trying to protect the people he cared for.
They’d make sure he died, Morioch and the prince consort and all his Falcons… But she could stop that from happening.
Oh God… Mina sailed out of the room after him, clad in nothing but the bedsheet and filled with an absolute terror of the unknown. Her choice, such as it was, had been made.
* * *
“Don’t you dare walk away from me.”
He was halfway down the stairs when the duchess’s voice rang through the hallway. Leo spun on his heel. Sailing down the hallway with what looked like the bedsheet wrapped around her, the duchess looked as though she were going to faint. Her cheeks were dangerously pale, red marks marring her throat from the scrape of his stubble and her mouth kiss-swollen.
His heart jacked into his throat. Walking away from her had been the hardest thing he’d ever done. The right thing to do, though it had nearly killed him. He didn’t think he could do it again. “What are you doing?”
“There are certain matters we need to discuss.”
He couldn’t do this. “Not now. There’s very little time for you to escape. If you get dressed—”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
Leo couldn’t say a damned thing. A surge of fierce want nearly brought him to his knees. Don’t do this. Please don’t do this… “If this is a game—” His throat thickened.
The door at the top of the stairs opened and Blade stepped out, the sound of soft murmurs behind him. He half closed the door, green eyes raking the duchess from head to toe. “That the latest fashion in the city?”
Her cheeks bloomed with spots of red. “I need to speak to you as well as Barrons. Give me a moment to get dressed and meet me in the parlor.”
Blade arched a brow. “Did you just forget where you are, luv?”
She turned on him, furious and glorious. “Do you want me to help you defeat Morioch or not?”
Leo’s gaze locked on her. Hard.
“As me ladyship commands,” Blade said after a faint hesitation. “But I ain’t got a lot o’ time right now for games.”
“No, right now you need a way to save the rookery and your wife. And I need clothing,” she told Blade.
Blade considered her for a long moment. “I’ll fetch you summat, but Leo’s playin’ lady’s maid.”
“Considering he’s directly responsible for the demise of my last set of clothes, I’ll accept that condition.”
Blade laughed under his breath. “Didn’t you tell me one time that she ain’t so bad once you clip ’er claws?” he murmured to Leo as he shut his door behind him, presumably to fetch the duchess something to wear.
Finding himself the recipient of that hot amber stare, Leo cut her off with an abrupt slice of the hand.
“Not here,” he said, climbing the stairs. “If you have something to say to me, then we’ll do it in private.” The last thing he wanted was his brother-in-law chortling under his breath about the situation.
“I have something to say, all right.” She turned, dragging her voluminous sheeted skirts behind her as she marched back to her designated rooms.
Oh, there was fire beneath the ice, of a certainty. Leo strode after her, shutting the door behind him with a sharp click. “My apologies. I thought you wanted to leave, and I have things to see to, if I’m to see my family safe. Christ, what did you expect? Did you want me to beg you to stay?”
He glanced at the bed and its mess of blankets, feeling a heated throb cut through him. Guilt. Anger. Hurt. Emotions he wasn’t entirely certain he was in control of. It had taken everything in him to let her go. “We fucked, Mina,” he said, enunciating the word clearly. “Nothing more. I must have missed the moment when you actually laid yourself on the line, gave me a damned inch in this or trusted me enough to—”
“I don’t regret it either,” she whispered.
Doubt darkened his expression. “I don’t even know if you mean those words.” His voice grew tight. “But I want you to. Perhaps I want it too much.” His head bowed, the words roughening even further. “You’re free to go. I have no right to keep you here. I have no claim upon you.”
What? Mina froze.
As he stood, her fingers fell from his back, dragging over the taut muscle of his buttocks. Barrons hauled his trousers on and snatched his shirt from the ground. Two steps took him to the door, and there he hesitated.
There was no expression on his face as he turned, his hand hovering on the doorknob. “You’re the only thing tying me to the past, and perhaps it’s time to let you go. Perhaps it’s time to let it all go.” A world of regret echoed in his eyes. “I’m sorry that I kept you long after I should have. If you get dressed, I shall escort you to the wall. It’s as far as I can go, unfortunately, but I have no doubt you’ll make it home safely.”
And then he was gone, his footsteps echoing briskly down the hallway while her heart slowly started beating again in her chest.
I thought you said that you couldn’t let me go.
Nineteen
Pride kept her immobile for long seconds. Pride, that strange burning feeling somewhere in her chest and, more practically, a lack of clothes.
The room was a mess. So was she. Dragging herself to her feet, Mina tucked the sheet in between her breasts to anchor it around her.
His final words echoed in her ears: Perhaps it’s time to let you go. She was going home, back to her queen…and all she could feel was a lump of solid iron weighing her chest down.
This was what she’d wanted, wasn’t it? Mina pressed her knuckles to her lips. She didn’t know what to do.
For years she’d had a plan and moved toward it. Barrons had never been supposed to happen. And good God, what if he could help her?
What if she was making the biggest mistake of her life?
She didn’t have time to think her way through this mess. She had to make this choice, and she had to make it now. War was coming and the rookeries would burn beneath it, destroying people she’d come to know—and even admire a little. And Barrons would stay here until the end, trying to protect the people he cared for.
They’d make sure he died, Morioch and the prince consort and all his Falcons… But she could stop that from happening.
Oh God… Mina sailed out of the room after him, clad in nothing but the bedsheet and filled with an absolute terror of the unknown. Her choice, such as it was, had been made.
* * *
“Don’t you dare walk away from me.”
He was halfway down the stairs when the duchess’s voice rang through the hallway. Leo spun on his heel. Sailing down the hallway with what looked like the bedsheet wrapped around her, the duchess looked as though she were going to faint. Her cheeks were dangerously pale, red marks marring her throat from the scrape of his stubble and her mouth kiss-swollen.
His heart jacked into his throat. Walking away from her had been the hardest thing he’d ever done. The right thing to do, though it had nearly killed him. He didn’t think he could do it again. “What are you doing?”
“There are certain matters we need to discuss.”
He couldn’t do this. “Not now. There’s very little time for you to escape. If you get dressed—”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
Leo couldn’t say a damned thing. A surge of fierce want nearly brought him to his knees. Don’t do this. Please don’t do this… “If this is a game—” His throat thickened.
The door at the top of the stairs opened and Blade stepped out, the sound of soft murmurs behind him. He half closed the door, green eyes raking the duchess from head to toe. “That the latest fashion in the city?”
Her cheeks bloomed with spots of red. “I need to speak to you as well as Barrons. Give me a moment to get dressed and meet me in the parlor.”
Blade arched a brow. “Did you just forget where you are, luv?”
She turned on him, furious and glorious. “Do you want me to help you defeat Morioch or not?”
Leo’s gaze locked on her. Hard.
“As me ladyship commands,” Blade said after a faint hesitation. “But I ain’t got a lot o’ time right now for games.”
“No, right now you need a way to save the rookery and your wife. And I need clothing,” she told Blade.
Blade considered her for a long moment. “I’ll fetch you summat, but Leo’s playin’ lady’s maid.”
“Considering he’s directly responsible for the demise of my last set of clothes, I’ll accept that condition.”
Blade laughed under his breath. “Didn’t you tell me one time that she ain’t so bad once you clip ’er claws?” he murmured to Leo as he shut his door behind him, presumably to fetch the duchess something to wear.
Finding himself the recipient of that hot amber stare, Leo cut her off with an abrupt slice of the hand.
“Not here,” he said, climbing the stairs. “If you have something to say to me, then we’ll do it in private.” The last thing he wanted was his brother-in-law chortling under his breath about the situation.
“I have something to say, all right.” She turned, dragging her voluminous sheeted skirts behind her as she marched back to her designated rooms.
Oh, there was fire beneath the ice, of a certainty. Leo strode after her, shutting the door behind him with a sharp click. “My apologies. I thought you wanted to leave, and I have things to see to, if I’m to see my family safe. Christ, what did you expect? Did you want me to beg you to stay?”
He glanced at the bed and its mess of blankets, feeling a heated throb cut through him. Guilt. Anger. Hurt. Emotions he wasn’t entirely certain he was in control of. It had taken everything in him to let her go. “We fucked, Mina,” he said, enunciating the word clearly. “Nothing more. I must have missed the moment when you actually laid yourself on the line, gave me a damned inch in this or trusted me enough to—”
