On My Knees

Page 54

The thought makes me shudder. “In case you forgot, I have work. In another city.” I say all this brightly, as if that is the only reason I don’t want to spend time with my parents.
“Well, it’s not like there won’t be more chances,” he says reasonably. “Considering I’m moving back to California, we’ll see each other a lot.” He’s been living in London, so I can’t argue with that. “And as for the rest, you’re staying for dinner at Mom and Dad’s on Wednesday night, so we’ll have some time then.”
Just the thought of going to my parents’ house makes me edgy. “Listen, there’s been a slight change of plans.”
“Don’t you dare blow me off.”
“Work is insane right now, so I thought I’d send a limo for you. Get you to Irvine in style.”
“You are such a liar. We just agreed that I should text you when I get out of customs.”
“I meant text the limo,” I say, lying again.
“Bullshit. Come on, Syl. Mom says she never sees you. That you came back from Atlanta, landed your high-paying job, and fell off the planet.”
To be fair, I fell off the planet as far as my parents are concerned when I moved into an exclusive Beverly Hills boarding school for my sophomore year of high school. I don’t say that to Ethan, though. Instead, I just say, “Work is crazy right now.”
“Are you ever going to tell me what the big drama is between you and them?”
I frown. “No. Sorry, but no. But there is drama. Isn’t that enough?”
He exhales loudly. “Look, I know how much they sacrificed when I was a kid. And I know some of that lashed back on you.”
I hug myself, feeling suddenly cold. Lashed back? Hell, yeah, it lashed back.
“I just can’t help but feel like this rift between you and them is my fault. And it would make me feel a hell of a lot better if you’d just come, okay?”
I close my eyes, because I know I’m going to cave. Because in so many ways he’s right.
And in so many ways he’s wrong.
But the biggest truth is that I’m not going to tell him the truth. So, yeah. Maybe I do need to suck it up.
“Fine,” I say. “Dinner. But I’m not staying late. I’ve got to work on Thursday, and—”
“Whatever you say, big sis.”
I frown, but it’s affectionate. “I love you even if you are a pain in the butt.”
“Of course you do. See you Wednesday.”
I end the call, then head to the reception desk to ask Karen if anyone called while I was tied up. Since I’m approaching from behind her, I can see her computer—and that she’s scrolling through the pictures of me, Jackson, and Cass. Not to mention Graham Elliott. Yesterday I saw her looking at some of the old ad photos of me that are circulating.
Wow, gee. How great is that?
“Oh. Hey.” She coughs as she clicks her computer back to a word processing screen. “Need anything?”
“Yeah,” I say. “I think I need a coffee.” And since that is absolutely true, I head down to the lobby for caffeine and the chance to clear my head.
My parents. My pictures.
For a day that had started out great, it’s going downhill fast.
sixteen
Even though it is days before I have to see my parents, just the conversation with Ethan has made me antsy. And though I like to think that I’m capable of standing on my own two feet, the truth is that I balance a lot better when I have Jackson beside me.
So instead of heading straight to the lobby, I detour to twenty-six. The construction crew and Lauren are there, but Jackson is not. When Lauren tells me he had an errand to run outside the building, I remember that we left his car at Westerfield’s. Considering how much he babies the Porsche, I’m certain he went to fetch it.
Without a coffee companion, I continue down to the lobby on my own. It’s a swift descent, but I still have enough time to chastise myself for being edgy and out of sorts. After all, it’s not as though anything has changed. Ethan told me over a week ago that he was coming, and I’ve been looking forward to seeing my little brother.
But now that his arrival is closer, it’s harder to ignore the fact that I’m going to be seeing not only him, but my parents. I’m going to have to sit at the dining room table in their house. I’m going to share wine and Mom’s meat loaf. And I’m going to have to make conversation with my dad.
That would be gut-wrenching enough all by itself. But it’s a billion times worse now that my past is assaulting me from all angles, with Reed in the news and old advertisements featuring my likeness popping up all over the place.