On Second Thought
Page 94
“You’re welcome,” I whispered.
“I had a dream he came to the house for lunch,” she said, her voice faraway. “It was so wonderful to see him...”
“Mr. and Mrs. Coburn,” said one of the club staffers from the doorway. “Your guests have begun to arrive.”
“We should get out there,” Eloise said. “Is everyone ready? As ready as we’ll ever be, I suppose.” She gave a smile that wobbled at first, then grew stronger, and I admired her more than I could ever possibly say.
It was a relief to get out of that room of pain and loss. Older people in tuxes and gowns streamed in, and I hugged the edge of the foyer, trying to make it outside without having to talk to anyone. The smell of perfume was thick, and a wave of nausea rolled over me. Outside, one of the staff was directing people inside, welcoming them to the party.
“Is there a man in a pickup truck around here?” I asked.
“Around the corner of the building,” the kid said. He smelled horribly of Axe body spray, and another heavy wave of nausea rolled up my legs, into my gut. Oh, God, I was going to throw up. Walking as fast as I could, I saw Daniel’s truck at the kitchen entrance. He was leaning against the tailgate.
“Hey,” he said. “You look amazing.”
I puked on his work boots.
His arm went around me, guiding me to the passenger side of the truck so I’d have a little privacy, anyway. Not that I could think much, as my insides tried to surge up my throat.
Good thing I’d worn my hair up, I thought distantly. Daniel pulled the hem of my dress out of the way as I retched until I was clean. Then he sat me down on the passenger seat, opened the glove box and handed me a Dunkin’ Donuts napkin so I could wipe my mouth.
“Here,” he said, handing me a bottle of water. “Rinse and spit.”
I obeyed. Realized I was gripping his hand.
“Rough night?” He knelt down in front of me and smiled, his eyes kind.
“You’re a good guy,” I whispered.
“That’s what they tell me.”
For a second, I just looked at him.
“It’s gonna be all right,” he said, and I believed him. “I know it’s complicated, Kate, but we’re in this together. I’ll be a good dad, you’ll be a great mom and...and this is gonna be fine. Okay?”
“Okay.” I took a deep breath and looked at the Club’s front door, where people were still streaming in. “You know what? Maybe it’s best if you just drop off the swing at the Coburns’ house. I sort of missed the moment. Is that okay?”
“You bet.” He stayed where he was a moment longer. “Feeling better?”
“Yes.”
He smiled, and I loved him a little then.
Daniel helped me out of the truck, held me by the shoulders for a minute to make sure I was steady.
“Their house is on the same street as mine,” I said. “Half mile down. It’s a big brick place with a white front door.”
“Got it. I’ll call you later.”
I could feel his eyes on me as I walked back to the main entrance. Up the four stairs, holding my gown up so I wouldn’t trip. Then I looked up and saw Madeleine.
“You nasty whore,” she said. “You’re pregnant with that man’s baby.”
* * *
Why she’d been invited, I didn’t know. Maybe she hadn’t been. It hardly mattered now.
We went into the room where I’d just been with the Coburns.
She’d seen me from the window, leaving when everyone else was coming in, she said, and suspected something was off. It was one of the many things Nathan had loved about her, she said—her uncanny intuition. And so she’d spied.
“I guess we know what kind of a person you really are,” she said, her lips white.
“Madeleine, I...I would appreciate you not telling the Coburns.”
“Oh, believe me, they’re going to know.”
“Not tonight, please. This day is hard enough.”
“They should know what kind of pretender their son married.”
I closed my eyes. “I’ll tell them tomorrow.” My hands were shaking, and I felt dizzy and starving and wretched. “I’m moving soon. Back to Brooklyn.”
“Good. I hope they never see you again. You never deserved their son.”
“Why are you here, Madeleine?” I asked.
“Because I support their foundation,” she said. “Because I love them.”
Because she would never recover from having drawn that line in the sand with Nathan—children or her. She’d never get over the fact that he didn’t desert me. She thought they’d have more time.
Just as I did.
“I’m sorry for your loss,” I whispered. “I know you loved him so much.”
Her eyes narrowed into slits. “I don’t need your pity,” she snarled. “Just make sure you tell the Coburns. I’ll call Eloise tomorrow night to make sure.”
“Kate!” Brooke stood in the doorway. “There you are.” She looked from me to Madeleine. “Is everything okay?”
“We’re fine,” Madeleine said. “Excuse me.” She left the room with her head held high, her gown swishing.
“I’m sorry if she upset you,” Brooke said, putting her arm around me. “You’re white as a ghost. She wasn’t invited. I think she’s a little...psycho.” She gave me a smile. “Come on. Mom and Dad are worried about you.”
And so I spent the rest of the night with Nathan’s family, Eloise occasionally holding my hand, Mr. Coburn making sure I had enough to eat, Brooke sitting next to me at dinner, Miles climbing onto my lap.
For the last time, I was one of them, and it hurt more than I could have ever imagined.
* * *
The next day, dressed in jeans that were feeling a little tight, I went over to my in-laws’ house.
“Kate! That swing! Oh, darling, it’s beautiful,” Eloise said. “And last night...it was special, wasn’t it? I think it was the right thing to do. I think Nathan would’ve approved. We raised so much for the scholarship fund! Someone donated more than a million dollars, can you imagine?”
“That’s wonderful,” I said. “Um, Eloise... I need to talk to you and Mr. Coburn.”
“Hi, Kate!” Brooke was here. “How are you?”
So they’d all hear at once. Maybe it was better this way.
“Are you all right?” Brooke asked, her face changing from a smile into concern.
“I need to tell you something. All of you.”
“Come, come, let’s all sit. Nathan, where are you, darling? Oh, there you are.”
We sat in the living room, a vast, chilly place. On the mantel was the photo Brooke had given them last night.
“We’ve already called a contractor,” Eloise said. “We’re just so excited to start Nathan’s plan for the house. It’s like having a little bit of him back, in a way.”
“Good. That’s...that’s what I hoped. Um, listen.” My heart started clacking against my ribs. “I have some news.”
“What is it, dear?” Mr. Coburn asked, leaning forward.
Shit. The words I’d practiced last night evaporated. The thing I wanted most to avoid was the idea that this baby was Nathan’s. I couldn’t let them think that, even for a second, then take it away.
“I had a dream he came to the house for lunch,” she said, her voice faraway. “It was so wonderful to see him...”
“Mr. and Mrs. Coburn,” said one of the club staffers from the doorway. “Your guests have begun to arrive.”
“We should get out there,” Eloise said. “Is everyone ready? As ready as we’ll ever be, I suppose.” She gave a smile that wobbled at first, then grew stronger, and I admired her more than I could ever possibly say.
It was a relief to get out of that room of pain and loss. Older people in tuxes and gowns streamed in, and I hugged the edge of the foyer, trying to make it outside without having to talk to anyone. The smell of perfume was thick, and a wave of nausea rolled over me. Outside, one of the staff was directing people inside, welcoming them to the party.
“Is there a man in a pickup truck around here?” I asked.
“Around the corner of the building,” the kid said. He smelled horribly of Axe body spray, and another heavy wave of nausea rolled up my legs, into my gut. Oh, God, I was going to throw up. Walking as fast as I could, I saw Daniel’s truck at the kitchen entrance. He was leaning against the tailgate.
“Hey,” he said. “You look amazing.”
I puked on his work boots.
His arm went around me, guiding me to the passenger side of the truck so I’d have a little privacy, anyway. Not that I could think much, as my insides tried to surge up my throat.
Good thing I’d worn my hair up, I thought distantly. Daniel pulled the hem of my dress out of the way as I retched until I was clean. Then he sat me down on the passenger seat, opened the glove box and handed me a Dunkin’ Donuts napkin so I could wipe my mouth.
“Here,” he said, handing me a bottle of water. “Rinse and spit.”
I obeyed. Realized I was gripping his hand.
“Rough night?” He knelt down in front of me and smiled, his eyes kind.
“You’re a good guy,” I whispered.
“That’s what they tell me.”
For a second, I just looked at him.
“It’s gonna be all right,” he said, and I believed him. “I know it’s complicated, Kate, but we’re in this together. I’ll be a good dad, you’ll be a great mom and...and this is gonna be fine. Okay?”
“Okay.” I took a deep breath and looked at the Club’s front door, where people were still streaming in. “You know what? Maybe it’s best if you just drop off the swing at the Coburns’ house. I sort of missed the moment. Is that okay?”
“You bet.” He stayed where he was a moment longer. “Feeling better?”
“Yes.”
He smiled, and I loved him a little then.
Daniel helped me out of the truck, held me by the shoulders for a minute to make sure I was steady.
“Their house is on the same street as mine,” I said. “Half mile down. It’s a big brick place with a white front door.”
“Got it. I’ll call you later.”
I could feel his eyes on me as I walked back to the main entrance. Up the four stairs, holding my gown up so I wouldn’t trip. Then I looked up and saw Madeleine.
“You nasty whore,” she said. “You’re pregnant with that man’s baby.”
* * *
Why she’d been invited, I didn’t know. Maybe she hadn’t been. It hardly mattered now.
We went into the room where I’d just been with the Coburns.
She’d seen me from the window, leaving when everyone else was coming in, she said, and suspected something was off. It was one of the many things Nathan had loved about her, she said—her uncanny intuition. And so she’d spied.
“I guess we know what kind of a person you really are,” she said, her lips white.
“Madeleine, I...I would appreciate you not telling the Coburns.”
“Oh, believe me, they’re going to know.”
“Not tonight, please. This day is hard enough.”
“They should know what kind of pretender their son married.”
I closed my eyes. “I’ll tell them tomorrow.” My hands were shaking, and I felt dizzy and starving and wretched. “I’m moving soon. Back to Brooklyn.”
“Good. I hope they never see you again. You never deserved their son.”
“Why are you here, Madeleine?” I asked.
“Because I support their foundation,” she said. “Because I love them.”
Because she would never recover from having drawn that line in the sand with Nathan—children or her. She’d never get over the fact that he didn’t desert me. She thought they’d have more time.
Just as I did.
“I’m sorry for your loss,” I whispered. “I know you loved him so much.”
Her eyes narrowed into slits. “I don’t need your pity,” she snarled. “Just make sure you tell the Coburns. I’ll call Eloise tomorrow night to make sure.”
“Kate!” Brooke stood in the doorway. “There you are.” She looked from me to Madeleine. “Is everything okay?”
“We’re fine,” Madeleine said. “Excuse me.” She left the room with her head held high, her gown swishing.
“I’m sorry if she upset you,” Brooke said, putting her arm around me. “You’re white as a ghost. She wasn’t invited. I think she’s a little...psycho.” She gave me a smile. “Come on. Mom and Dad are worried about you.”
And so I spent the rest of the night with Nathan’s family, Eloise occasionally holding my hand, Mr. Coburn making sure I had enough to eat, Brooke sitting next to me at dinner, Miles climbing onto my lap.
For the last time, I was one of them, and it hurt more than I could have ever imagined.
* * *
The next day, dressed in jeans that were feeling a little tight, I went over to my in-laws’ house.
“Kate! That swing! Oh, darling, it’s beautiful,” Eloise said. “And last night...it was special, wasn’t it? I think it was the right thing to do. I think Nathan would’ve approved. We raised so much for the scholarship fund! Someone donated more than a million dollars, can you imagine?”
“That’s wonderful,” I said. “Um, Eloise... I need to talk to you and Mr. Coburn.”
“Hi, Kate!” Brooke was here. “How are you?”
So they’d all hear at once. Maybe it was better this way.
“Are you all right?” Brooke asked, her face changing from a smile into concern.
“I need to tell you something. All of you.”
“Come, come, let’s all sit. Nathan, where are you, darling? Oh, there you are.”
We sat in the living room, a vast, chilly place. On the mantel was the photo Brooke had given them last night.
“We’ve already called a contractor,” Eloise said. “We’re just so excited to start Nathan’s plan for the house. It’s like having a little bit of him back, in a way.”
“Good. That’s...that’s what I hoped. Um, listen.” My heart started clacking against my ribs. “I have some news.”
“What is it, dear?” Mr. Coburn asked, leaning forward.
Shit. The words I’d practiced last night evaporated. The thing I wanted most to avoid was the idea that this baby was Nathan’s. I couldn’t let them think that, even for a second, then take it away.
