On Second Thought
Page 97
When I was thirty-nine weeks pregnant, with swollen ankles and acne on my chin and a backache in its fifth week, he took my feet in his lap. “I love you, you know,” he said, not looking at me.
A beat passed. “Thank you,” I said.
He cut me a sideways look. “That’s all you got?”
“I love you, too.” I smiled as I said it, because it was true. It was different from Nathan, but different didn’t mean less.
Then Daniel pulled me, bulk and all, over onto his lap, and we made out, our baby kicking him as well as me, making us laugh.
Two days later, she was born.
Our daughter weighed seven pounds, three ounces, had a tubular head from twenty hours of labor, a red, squishy face, and was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.
We’d ever seen.
Daniel cried unabashedly when the midwife said, “It’s a girl!” So did my sister, who was with us for eighteen of the twenty hours, never flagging in good cheer and words of encouragement.
When the baby had been weighed and wrapped and handed to me, Daniel put his arm around me, and we just stared at her face.
“She’s so perfect,” Daniel said. “Look at her. She looks just like you.” He smiled and gave me a quick kiss.
“Do you have a name picked out?” the nurse asked.
“We do,” I said, looking up at my sister, who had my Nikon and was snapping pictures. “Ainsley Noel.”
“Are you kidding me?” my sister said, bursting into tears. “Oh, guys! Thank you! Hi, little Ainsley! I love you, honey!”
The next day, my parents came to visit, as well as Daniel’s mother and four sisters and several of their kids, in addition to Sean and Kiara and Sadie, who was thrilled to have a baby cousin. Jonathan came to pick up Ainsley the Elder and brought a beautiful soft elephant stuffed animal.
I was surrounded by love. By family. Tears filled my eyes, and suddenly, I yawned.
“All right, everyone, get out,” Daniel said, and I smiled at him gratefully. “I’ll walk them out and come right back. You need anything, honey?”
“Ice cream?” I suggested.
“You got it. Ben & Jerry’s Pistachio coming up.”
Our families were herded out of the room, and I snuggled little Ainsley closer, smelling her head, a smell I already recognized. I’d cheerfully kill for her, happily lay down my life for her without a second’s hesitation and with a smile on my face. My beautiful baby. My gift.
“Hey.” Daniel stood in the doorway.
“You forget something?”
“You’re gonna marry me,” he said, and his voice was rough. “Whenever you want, but you are. I love you, Kate. Okay? You’ll marry me?”
My heart, which was already so full, threatened to overflow. “Yes, I’ll marry you. Someday.”
“Don’t make me wait too long.” He came to my side, bent down and kissed me, then kissed Ainsley’s head. “Back in ten with the ice cream, my beautiful girls.”
I lifted Ainsley into the clear plastic bassinet next to me. She gave a tiny snort—so cute!—and grunted. I touched her cheek. “Mommy’s right here,” I said, then closed my eyes.
I’d be happy with Daniel. I already was. The fact that the universe had given me two lovely men and a baby in the space of a year...well, the universe was full of tricks and mystery.
I opened my eyes to make sure my baby wasn’t a dream. She was still there, pink and beautiful, eyebrows like her daddy, long, beautiful fingers. I smiled and closed my eyes again.
It seemed like ten seconds later that a soft knock came on the door. I jolted awake.
It was Eloise Coburn.
My God.
I scrambled to sit up, wincing at the pull of stiches.
“I’m so sorry if I woke you,” she said.
“No, no. Please come in. How are you?” I adjusted my johnny coat and swallowed.
“I’m doing well, thank you.” She stood in the doorway. “Your sister called me.”
“Oh,” I said. “Um...have a seat.”
As always, she was beautifully dressed, her hair whiter now than the last time I’d seen her. “How’s the family?” I asked.
“Everyone is doing well,” she said. “The boys are growing so fast, and we finished the house expansion.”
“Great, great,” I said. “Um...this is Ainsley. My daughter.”
Eloise looked, a soft expression coming over her face. “You named her for your sister. How lovely.” There was a pause. A page for Dr. Somebody came over the PA. “May I hold her?” Eloise asked.
Would she hurt my baby to get revenge? Would she bolt out of here with Ainsley in her arms?
She wouldn’t. Eloise Coburn had never done a cruel thing in her life.
“Of course,” I said.
With great care, Eloise lifted the baby out of the bassinet and settled her in her arms. She looked down at her, and when the baby reached out a flailing arm, Eloise offered a finger for my baby to grip.
“Aren’t you beautiful,” she murmured.
This might have been her granddaughter, this child of her son’s wife. Tears slid down my cheeks; crying had not been an issue since the day I left Nathan’s.
Eloise touched Ainsley’s cheek and smiled just a little, and I saw Nathan in her face.
“Well. Here you go,” Eloise said, handing her to me. “She’s just lovely. I brought her something.”
She reached into her purse and pulled out a little package. “Let me unwrap it for you,” she said, doing just that, her movements brisk and efficient. It was a small box. She lifted off the top and showed me.
It was a silver baby brush, the bristles as soft as rabbit fur. And it was inscribed: NVC III.
“It was Nathan’s,” she said softly. “More of a showpiece than a practical gift, but...well. I wanted you to have it. I know he loved you very much.”
My breath shook out of me. “Oh, Eloise. I loved him, too.” The words were barely audible.
“Yes,” she said. “I believe you.” She looked away then, at the room. “I should leave you. You need to rest.”
“Eloise? Would you like to...to stay in touch?”
Her face didn’t move. Then it crumpled for just a second, before she regained her composure. “Yes,” she said. “I’d like that very much.”
Because we were two women who’d loved her son, and that was a bond that wouldn’t be broken. Brooke would never forgive me, but Eloise... Eloise already had.
“Hello.” Daniel stood in the doorway, a pint of Ben & Jerry’s in his hand. “I’m Daniel Breton.”
“This is Nathan’s mother,” I said, wiping my eyes with the edge of Ainsley’s blanket.
“Yes, we’ve met,” Eloise said. “You came to Nathan’s wake.” Daniel nodded. “Congratulations on your beautiful daughter. Kate...” She turned to me. “It was good to see you, deah.”
Then she was gone, the strongest, most generous person I’d ever met.
“You okay, sweetheart?” Daniel asked. He put the ice cream on the bedside table and sat on the edge of the bed, his eyes worried.
I looked at him, then down at our little baby. “Never better,” I said. “Look what she brought the baby.”
He picked up the brush, tiny in his big hands, and glided it over Ainsley’s thatch of hair. “That was very nice of her.”
A beat passed. “Thank you,” I said.
He cut me a sideways look. “That’s all you got?”
“I love you, too.” I smiled as I said it, because it was true. It was different from Nathan, but different didn’t mean less.
Then Daniel pulled me, bulk and all, over onto his lap, and we made out, our baby kicking him as well as me, making us laugh.
Two days later, she was born.
Our daughter weighed seven pounds, three ounces, had a tubular head from twenty hours of labor, a red, squishy face, and was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.
We’d ever seen.
Daniel cried unabashedly when the midwife said, “It’s a girl!” So did my sister, who was with us for eighteen of the twenty hours, never flagging in good cheer and words of encouragement.
When the baby had been weighed and wrapped and handed to me, Daniel put his arm around me, and we just stared at her face.
“She’s so perfect,” Daniel said. “Look at her. She looks just like you.” He smiled and gave me a quick kiss.
“Do you have a name picked out?” the nurse asked.
“We do,” I said, looking up at my sister, who had my Nikon and was snapping pictures. “Ainsley Noel.”
“Are you kidding me?” my sister said, bursting into tears. “Oh, guys! Thank you! Hi, little Ainsley! I love you, honey!”
The next day, my parents came to visit, as well as Daniel’s mother and four sisters and several of their kids, in addition to Sean and Kiara and Sadie, who was thrilled to have a baby cousin. Jonathan came to pick up Ainsley the Elder and brought a beautiful soft elephant stuffed animal.
I was surrounded by love. By family. Tears filled my eyes, and suddenly, I yawned.
“All right, everyone, get out,” Daniel said, and I smiled at him gratefully. “I’ll walk them out and come right back. You need anything, honey?”
“Ice cream?” I suggested.
“You got it. Ben & Jerry’s Pistachio coming up.”
Our families were herded out of the room, and I snuggled little Ainsley closer, smelling her head, a smell I already recognized. I’d cheerfully kill for her, happily lay down my life for her without a second’s hesitation and with a smile on my face. My beautiful baby. My gift.
“Hey.” Daniel stood in the doorway.
“You forget something?”
“You’re gonna marry me,” he said, and his voice was rough. “Whenever you want, but you are. I love you, Kate. Okay? You’ll marry me?”
My heart, which was already so full, threatened to overflow. “Yes, I’ll marry you. Someday.”
“Don’t make me wait too long.” He came to my side, bent down and kissed me, then kissed Ainsley’s head. “Back in ten with the ice cream, my beautiful girls.”
I lifted Ainsley into the clear plastic bassinet next to me. She gave a tiny snort—so cute!—and grunted. I touched her cheek. “Mommy’s right here,” I said, then closed my eyes.
I’d be happy with Daniel. I already was. The fact that the universe had given me two lovely men and a baby in the space of a year...well, the universe was full of tricks and mystery.
I opened my eyes to make sure my baby wasn’t a dream. She was still there, pink and beautiful, eyebrows like her daddy, long, beautiful fingers. I smiled and closed my eyes again.
It seemed like ten seconds later that a soft knock came on the door. I jolted awake.
It was Eloise Coburn.
My God.
I scrambled to sit up, wincing at the pull of stiches.
“I’m so sorry if I woke you,” she said.
“No, no. Please come in. How are you?” I adjusted my johnny coat and swallowed.
“I’m doing well, thank you.” She stood in the doorway. “Your sister called me.”
“Oh,” I said. “Um...have a seat.”
As always, she was beautifully dressed, her hair whiter now than the last time I’d seen her. “How’s the family?” I asked.
“Everyone is doing well,” she said. “The boys are growing so fast, and we finished the house expansion.”
“Great, great,” I said. “Um...this is Ainsley. My daughter.”
Eloise looked, a soft expression coming over her face. “You named her for your sister. How lovely.” There was a pause. A page for Dr. Somebody came over the PA. “May I hold her?” Eloise asked.
Would she hurt my baby to get revenge? Would she bolt out of here with Ainsley in her arms?
She wouldn’t. Eloise Coburn had never done a cruel thing in her life.
“Of course,” I said.
With great care, Eloise lifted the baby out of the bassinet and settled her in her arms. She looked down at her, and when the baby reached out a flailing arm, Eloise offered a finger for my baby to grip.
“Aren’t you beautiful,” she murmured.
This might have been her granddaughter, this child of her son’s wife. Tears slid down my cheeks; crying had not been an issue since the day I left Nathan’s.
Eloise touched Ainsley’s cheek and smiled just a little, and I saw Nathan in her face.
“Well. Here you go,” Eloise said, handing her to me. “She’s just lovely. I brought her something.”
She reached into her purse and pulled out a little package. “Let me unwrap it for you,” she said, doing just that, her movements brisk and efficient. It was a small box. She lifted off the top and showed me.
It was a silver baby brush, the bristles as soft as rabbit fur. And it was inscribed: NVC III.
“It was Nathan’s,” she said softly. “More of a showpiece than a practical gift, but...well. I wanted you to have it. I know he loved you very much.”
My breath shook out of me. “Oh, Eloise. I loved him, too.” The words were barely audible.
“Yes,” she said. “I believe you.” She looked away then, at the room. “I should leave you. You need to rest.”
“Eloise? Would you like to...to stay in touch?”
Her face didn’t move. Then it crumpled for just a second, before she regained her composure. “Yes,” she said. “I’d like that very much.”
Because we were two women who’d loved her son, and that was a bond that wouldn’t be broken. Brooke would never forgive me, but Eloise... Eloise already had.
“Hello.” Daniel stood in the doorway, a pint of Ben & Jerry’s in his hand. “I’m Daniel Breton.”
“This is Nathan’s mother,” I said, wiping my eyes with the edge of Ainsley’s blanket.
“Yes, we’ve met,” Eloise said. “You came to Nathan’s wake.” Daniel nodded. “Congratulations on your beautiful daughter. Kate...” She turned to me. “It was good to see you, deah.”
Then she was gone, the strongest, most generous person I’d ever met.
“You okay, sweetheart?” Daniel asked. He put the ice cream on the bedside table and sat on the edge of the bed, his eyes worried.
I looked at him, then down at our little baby. “Never better,” I said. “Look what she brought the baby.”
He picked up the brush, tiny in his big hands, and glided it over Ainsley’s thatch of hair. “That was very nice of her.”
