On the Plus Side

Page 17

By the end of our three hour conversation I learned so many things about her. She talked about her and her mom’s shitty relationship, which was uncomfortable considering I had already met her bitchy mom. She told me about her dad that lived in California and how she never really saw more than his back and briefcase when she was growing up. She told me about going to an all-girls school, which let’s face it…was really fucking hot! The point is, I could tell from our conversation that she was kind of raised alone—no brothers, no sisters, and really no mom and dad.
It made me appreciate my crazy ass dad and goofy little sister. Yeah, we sometimes argued and sometimes my little sister tried her hardest to make me choke her, but at least we were a family. We were a family who laughed together and worked together to make it through this crazy life. I’d do anything to keep my family’s life afloat. I know I should feel bad about what I was doing to Lilly, and in a way I did, but I couldn’t regret the fact that doing this was going to pay the bills.
My little sister came bursting through the door about the time that I was about to hang up with Lilly.
“Who you on the phone with?” she screamed across the house while the refrigerator door was being slammed.
She came busting into the living room with a coke and a bag of chips.
“Did you hear me, Dev? Who you talking to?” she continued to loudly yell, while shoving a handful of chips into her big trap.
Lilly started to laugh through the phone.
Jenny’s name should’ve been Benny because everything about her screams male teenager. She’s fifteen, soon to be sixteen, and is in tenth grade. She has long, dark hair that she keeps tied up in a low pony tail and big, green eyes that match my own. When I sit and think about it, there really isn’t a girly thing about her. She dresses like a boy, burps like a man, walks like a dude, and fights like a pit-bull. The last part is thanks to me, of course. Even her bedroom is covered with car posters and blue and green bedding.
“Hey, I’m gonna let you go, OK? My loud ass little sister is home. I’ll be by to pick you up after work tomorrow, OK?”
“Okay sounds good. See you tomorrow.”
I hung up the phone, rolled my eyes at Jenny, and then got up to leave the family room.
“That wasn’t Renee, was it?” Jenny smiled back at me like she had just caught me red handed.
“It’s none of your business, nosey,” I smirked back.
“Oh my God, you cheater!” she laughed and bits of chip flew out of her mouth. “Thank God! It’s about damn time. You know I never liked that bitch Renee.”
“Would you watch your mouth? And no, it wasn’t Renee, but keep that between you and me, OK? Seriously, Jenny, it’s important, OK?”
“OK, cool! So…when do we get to meet her?”
“Never!” I laughed, as I poked her on the tip of her nose when I walked by.
“Ah, come on. No fair, Devin!”
It would never go that far. I would date her, get my money, and then never see her again. Yeah, it would last about three months, but there was no way in Hell she’d be meeting my family, especially considering my dad would see right through me and the situation if I ever brought her around.
Oh well, I got a date tomorrow. It’s all in a good days work.
That night, after dad got home and we ate dinner, I relaxed in my bed and had a sudden guilty feeling.  Would I be able to do what needed to be done? Would I be able to lie in Lilly’s face? Most people consider me a heartless bastard and honestly I kind of made it that way myself. It was, in a lot of ways, my wall. It kept people from getting close to me, which in turn kept me from getting close to people. A psychologist would call it my defense mechanism. I call it being smart.
The reality of it was that I wasn’t a heartless bastard. I didn’t want to hurt this girl, and by lying to her and making her think that I was interested in her, I was hurting her without her knowing it. Honestly, she was kind of sweet. I could see me hanging out with her and being friends. Maybe that’s why I felt so damn bad about what I was starting with her.
I barely got any sleep that night. I tossed and turned, and when I finally did sleep I had horrible nightmares about the day my mom left and never looked back. I woke up at five thirty the next morning drenched in sweat and hyperventilating. I didn’t even bother going back to sleep.
By the time dad came out to the garage to open I was already mostly done working on Mrs. Bennett’s old Cadillac and had already changed out the tires on Ralph’s new Chevy. Dad stopped in his tracks and stared at me like I had suddenly grown two heads. I swiped at the greasy sweat that was draining down my forehead with the back of my hand.