On the Plus Side

Page 35

I turned my back to the door and was in the process of getting comfortable when I heard my bedroom door open.
“Shannon, I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t need a power to the fatties pep talk. I just want to be miserable. Please, just let me dwell in my unhappy fatness tonight, OK? Please.” I turned my head into the pillow.
“Don’t say things like that about yourself,” Devin said in a sharp tone.
I sat up like lightning to see him standing beside my bed.
“Get out,” I hissed before turning my back to him.
“I’m so sorry.” I heard him take a deep breath.
The alcohol was slowly leaving my body and the little bit of numbness I felt earlier was beginning to melt away. I was starting to feel the pain of tonight—and my past was slamming into me. Not to mention, my damn leg was starting to hurt again.
I couldn’t take another apology. Not tonight. Not ever. As far as I was concerned, he could take that apology and shove it right up his sexy ass. I grabbed my pillow and hurled it at him.
“Get out! Just leave me alone. You don’t want me that way, then fine! I get it, OK? So quit torturing me. I’ve never done anything to you. Why do you insist on driving me nuts? I’m done with this crap, so leave me the fuck alone!”
I never dropped the F-bomb unless I was really emotional. I’m pretty sure this qualified as an overly dramatic emotional moment.
He didn’t say anything else.
I turned away from him again and soon I heard the soft click of my bedroom door when he left. I fell into a deep, drunken sleep.
Twelve
A Hardened Heart
It’s been three days since I’ve heard from or seen Lilly. She isn’t answering any of my phone calls and the one time that I stopped by her apartment Shannon said she wasn’t there, yet her car was. I’m pretty much being ignored. I know this game well since I’ve played it many times in my life, except this time I’m on the receiving end and it sucks monkey balls in hell.
I’ve never had a female ignore me before, and it’s driving me bat-shit crazy. I know it’s nothing less than what I deserve and in a strange way it’s kind of setting me straight. It’s a taste of my own medicine and it’s coming from the most unbelievable source. If I had told any one of my friends that an overweight chick was ignoring my phone calls they’d shit.
It’s an awful place to be…the receiving end. I can’t even say it’s because of the money. I’d be lying if I said I even thought about the money even once since the night of the party. I know we still need it and everything, but I spend my days thinking about her and my nights waiting with my cell phone close by just in case she misses talking to me as much as I miss talking to her. I even started doing something that I’ve never done before, which is worry about another guy.
All I can think about is the fact that my man-whore of a friend, Matt, had taken her home and had at least twenty minutes alone with her. Matt would have no problem what-so-ever with throwing her up against a wall and fucking her senseless. Me on the other hand, I had to suddenly grow a conscious.
I’d kill him if I find out he even laid a finger on her.
What the hell is happening to me?
Later that day, Jenny and I did some grocery shopping.  Well, Jenny grocery shopped and I pushed the grocery cart around.
“What’s going on with you, Devin? You’ve been in la la land for the last couple of days. You’re not on drugs are you? I’ll kick your ass if that’s the case,” Jenny blurted out.
“Would you watch your mouth? You’re too damn young to be running around cussing like a sailor, and no I’m not on drugs. Just got a lot on my mind is all.” I bumped into a small display table almost knocking everything over.
“Dad says you act heartbroken. Are you?” she said with a huge grin. “You know I think I might like this new girl you’re talking to.”
“I’m not heartbroken,” I said, and then quickly tried to change the subject. “You want spaghetti on Wednesday night?”
I started to pick through the different kinds of spaghetti sauces like it was my one true calling when I heard Jenny once again curse.
“Oh shit,” she whispered.
“Jenny, I said enough already with the cursing!” I stopped when I stood face to face with Renee. “Oh shit.”
“Hi, Devin.” She smiled at me smugly as she crossed her arms and worked her neck. “What do you know? I guess you are back in town? Funny thing is—I found out that you never left! What the hell, Devin? I got people calling me all day telling me that you were at a party last night with some fat girl and now you got the nerve to stare back at me like you don’t know who the hell I am! Why haven’t you called me or answered any of my calls? I can’t believe you! I have half a mind to break up with you.”