Once and Again
Page 27
“My family was there. My brothers and sisters. I knew they’d all be having kids and settling down, and I wanted to be around. I knew the school needed teachers. I taught math for a few years and then humanities and English lit. It’s been good to find my place. The principal is good at her job. She cares about the community and the teachers as well as the kids. There are far worse places I could be. Plus I could afford a house after a few years of saving.”
They ordered and he turned to her again. “Now tell me why do you need a drink.”
Lily took a few bracing gulps first. “My mother lives in a fog of pills washed down with wine. She fell last week and told Chris not to tell me.” She paused to take a breath. “She’s a wreck, and I have to constantly watch her and try to keep Chris from noticing. But he did notice, and he’s a mess and I worry I’m failing him but I’m just making this all up as I go along.”
Well that wasn’t the story he’d expected at all. Beth had mentioned Mrs. Travis having some problems, but she hadn’t been specific and had told him to ask Lily.
He knew a few things about parents who drank too much, but his experience wasn’t hers, though it was hard not to frame it all from his perspective. “If she’s falling, it’s only going to get worse.”
“I know. I’m here because she’s with her friends all day and Chris is gone. Polly is with them, and she told me on the sly that they all planned to have her stay the night with one of them. I hate that they all know. But I don’t know what else to do. Stay there. Which I do, of course. But Chris asked me to talk to her about it, and so I went to the counselor we’ve seen a few times to run over some ideas with her on how to broach the subject. I get to do that when I return home.”
He ached for her. Knowing that pain. Knowing she wanted to help both her mother and her brother. Knowing firsthand that no one could make Pamela stop it unless she wanted to.
“On top of that, my sister was in my apartment when I got back today. She picked a fight. I should have let it go. It’s not like she actually cares about what we’re arguing over. She just wants to upset me and make me lose my temper. So she won today.”
He had a few opinions about the useless Nancy Travis, but he kept them to himself, knowing Lily needed to talk it through.
“I used to think that when we got older we’d get past this. Maybe I’m not trying hard enough. But she’s convinced our father is coming back and convinced our mom should take him back. She said some pretty unforgiveable stuff. I replied in like fashion, I guess. Not my finest moment.”
“What’d she say?”
“Nancy?” She paused to take a few sips of her drink. “Man that’s going to hit me in a few.” She smiled up at the server. “Can we get some bruschetta while we’re looking at the menu?” The server assured her he’d get right on it and left to make it happen.
“You’re good at that.” He grinned, putting his menu aside.
“At what?”
“With servers. You smile at them and they only want to please you.”
She blushed and then laughed. “Oh yeah, right.”
“First at the Sands and right now. You’re a beautiful woman and your smile is gorgeous. You were beautiful then too. But now you’re more.”
She stopped laughing and took him in, clearly weighing what he’d said. And where this was going.
“I want you. You know that.” He shrugged.
“Nancy claims you and she dallied.” The look on her face told him she thought it was a lie, and he relaxed a little. “I know she’s lying. She just wanted to hurt me.”
“Would it have? If it was true. Which it isn’t.” He wished that hadn’t sounded as coy as it had.
Again the long pause. “Yes it would have.”
That felt good.
“She did come on to me. Several times.”
“While we were together?”
The server brought out the bruschetta, took their orders and retreated.
It was his turn to pause because he’d never told her. He hadn’t wanted to hurt her then and he sure as hell didn’t now. But he had to and he hated it.
“It doesn’t matter. She was pitching but I wasn’t catching. She’s not you, baby. Never. Ever in a million years would she be. I know you might have trouble believing that after the kiss you walked in on. But that’s the truth. I didn’t even want that kiss. It was one very brief moment when I thought about the alternatives. A half a breath and it was over. But you came in before it was over and then you left. And I was an idiot and this is what got us here. I don’t want any lies between us now. I want to make it work this time around. Your sister doesn’t have your best interests at heart. She never has.”
Lily breathed in deep, and he tried not to groan when she took a bite and then swiped her tongue over her bottom lip to catch some tomato.
“I don’t know. She’s…difficult. Ugly. Resentful even though she’s at fault for her own messes. My mother lets her get away with it. Hell, maybe it’s me. Maybe I have been handed everything so I’m spoiled.”
She finished her drink and he signaled for another. He wanted to fix this for her.
“No. It’s not you.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? When she came on to you.”
“I didn’t want to hurt you. It didn’t mean anything to me.” It wasn’t as if he’d even considered the rather crudely repeated offers from Nancy anyway. He’d always wondered if she’d done it just to hurt Lily and he didn’t want any part of that. And Nancy Travis was a pale shadow of her sister. That’s why she was so angry and resentful. Lily was vibrant and lovely. Caring.
They ordered and he turned to her again. “Now tell me why do you need a drink.”
Lily took a few bracing gulps first. “My mother lives in a fog of pills washed down with wine. She fell last week and told Chris not to tell me.” She paused to take a breath. “She’s a wreck, and I have to constantly watch her and try to keep Chris from noticing. But he did notice, and he’s a mess and I worry I’m failing him but I’m just making this all up as I go along.”
Well that wasn’t the story he’d expected at all. Beth had mentioned Mrs. Travis having some problems, but she hadn’t been specific and had told him to ask Lily.
He knew a few things about parents who drank too much, but his experience wasn’t hers, though it was hard not to frame it all from his perspective. “If she’s falling, it’s only going to get worse.”
“I know. I’m here because she’s with her friends all day and Chris is gone. Polly is with them, and she told me on the sly that they all planned to have her stay the night with one of them. I hate that they all know. But I don’t know what else to do. Stay there. Which I do, of course. But Chris asked me to talk to her about it, and so I went to the counselor we’ve seen a few times to run over some ideas with her on how to broach the subject. I get to do that when I return home.”
He ached for her. Knowing that pain. Knowing she wanted to help both her mother and her brother. Knowing firsthand that no one could make Pamela stop it unless she wanted to.
“On top of that, my sister was in my apartment when I got back today. She picked a fight. I should have let it go. It’s not like she actually cares about what we’re arguing over. She just wants to upset me and make me lose my temper. So she won today.”
He had a few opinions about the useless Nancy Travis, but he kept them to himself, knowing Lily needed to talk it through.
“I used to think that when we got older we’d get past this. Maybe I’m not trying hard enough. But she’s convinced our father is coming back and convinced our mom should take him back. She said some pretty unforgiveable stuff. I replied in like fashion, I guess. Not my finest moment.”
“What’d she say?”
“Nancy?” She paused to take a few sips of her drink. “Man that’s going to hit me in a few.” She smiled up at the server. “Can we get some bruschetta while we’re looking at the menu?” The server assured her he’d get right on it and left to make it happen.
“You’re good at that.” He grinned, putting his menu aside.
“At what?”
“With servers. You smile at them and they only want to please you.”
She blushed and then laughed. “Oh yeah, right.”
“First at the Sands and right now. You’re a beautiful woman and your smile is gorgeous. You were beautiful then too. But now you’re more.”
She stopped laughing and took him in, clearly weighing what he’d said. And where this was going.
“I want you. You know that.” He shrugged.
“Nancy claims you and she dallied.” The look on her face told him she thought it was a lie, and he relaxed a little. “I know she’s lying. She just wanted to hurt me.”
“Would it have? If it was true. Which it isn’t.” He wished that hadn’t sounded as coy as it had.
Again the long pause. “Yes it would have.”
That felt good.
“She did come on to me. Several times.”
“While we were together?”
The server brought out the bruschetta, took their orders and retreated.
It was his turn to pause because he’d never told her. He hadn’t wanted to hurt her then and he sure as hell didn’t now. But he had to and he hated it.
“It doesn’t matter. She was pitching but I wasn’t catching. She’s not you, baby. Never. Ever in a million years would she be. I know you might have trouble believing that after the kiss you walked in on. But that’s the truth. I didn’t even want that kiss. It was one very brief moment when I thought about the alternatives. A half a breath and it was over. But you came in before it was over and then you left. And I was an idiot and this is what got us here. I don’t want any lies between us now. I want to make it work this time around. Your sister doesn’t have your best interests at heart. She never has.”
Lily breathed in deep, and he tried not to groan when she took a bite and then swiped her tongue over her bottom lip to catch some tomato.
“I don’t know. She’s…difficult. Ugly. Resentful even though she’s at fault for her own messes. My mother lets her get away with it. Hell, maybe it’s me. Maybe I have been handed everything so I’m spoiled.”
She finished her drink and he signaled for another. He wanted to fix this for her.
“No. It’s not you.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? When she came on to you.”
“I didn’t want to hurt you. It didn’t mean anything to me.” It wasn’t as if he’d even considered the rather crudely repeated offers from Nancy anyway. He’d always wondered if she’d done it just to hurt Lily and he didn’t want any part of that. And Nancy Travis was a pale shadow of her sister. That’s why she was so angry and resentful. Lily was vibrant and lovely. Caring.
