Once and Again
Page 41
Beth simply listened.
“It’s not so much that I wished him ill by that point. Or that I hadn’t gotten over him or that he’d given me baggage or whatever. I dated. I had three serious relationships in the time between now and then. The last one I considered marrying. I’m confident of myself and I know what I want. I’m not afraid to go after it either. These are not things I didn’t have in great measure when I was with Nathan. But it’s because of him that I got stronger.”
“And then everything went catawampus.”
“Eloquent. So then my parents’ marriage breaks up. Which happens. I guess I assumed they’d stick it out. My dad was sort of lazy, and she did everything for him, especially since he retired. I was surprised and I felt bad for my mom and Chris, but it was what happened and I went back to my routine. And then Chris gets in trouble. I come here and in one night I find out this has become such a big problem my mother can’t handle it. My sister is a whackjob. I have to come back here and raise not only Chris, but my mother. I have zero control really, and into this maelstrom walks the only man I’ve ever really loved and he’s not the same as before. Not the same in any way that really matters.”
“Ah, we get to the in-over-your-head stuff now.” Beth nodded sagely.
“He’s not someone I can blow off. Not someone I can keep being angry at. He’s not someone who’ll be contained and under control. He’s an aggressive, dominant man and he slides his laid-back, good ol’ boy skin on and god damn if that doesn’t make him even more irresistible! I don’t have any defenses against that. I can’t control it, or even predict it. He’s like a shark, always moving. He’s cagey, your brother.”
Beth laughed and patted her hand. “I’m gonna have to tweet that. He is cagey. But he’s entirely okay with being laid back and lazy and have people wait on him and do all the work as long as he’s all right with the general direction. But once he gets all stirred up, you can’t stop him. He will get what he wants. He’s relentless about it. He wants you and he’s all stirred up. He’s changed. You’ve changed him even more. He’s good for you and Lord knows he needs you too. Come to my house for dinner tonight.”
Lily heaved a sigh. Still panicked, but not so much she was blind to the truth. “What time should we be there?”
She finished up with Beth and went home. May as well check in on her mother.
So it wasn’t a total surprise to see Nancy’s car in the driveway, blocking Lily’s spot. She parked on the street and went to her place first, putting her camera and bag away. She gave herself a pep talk in the mirror before heading to the main house.
“’Bout time you showed up.”
“Always first thing with you. I hope you give me a gold star in your mental inventory since being disapproving gives you such an extra charge. Did we have an appointment I was unaware of? Something else that would give you any legitimate reason to declare it’s about time I showed up as if I’d been making you wait for some ungodly amount of time?”
“You get her all upset and rush off. Threaten to take her child. How dare you!”
She turned, slowly, hands on her hips and took them both in. “How dare I? How dare she? How dare she come to the breakfast table with an ice-tea glass filled with bourbon? And refill it three times in the presence of her son who’s only just pulling himself out of some pretty deep trouble. How dare she call you in and give you free rein to stir trouble? Did you ask yourself why she’d do that? How about that? Huh? How about she stop hiding behind all this stuff? She brought you here to get in between her and me. You have to know that. She’d rather sit by and watch us fight—yet again—than own her business.”
Nancy began to speak but Lily’d had enough. “I told you last time that if you wanted to go we would, but that’d I’d end you. Think very carefully about what you say next. If you’re not here to help get her in rehab or at the very least some therapy, then get out. You can’t help her with your normal selfish shit. She needs you to be a good person for once in your life. I know you have a heart in there somewhere and I could use your help right now.
“She’s in big trouble. Chris saw her fall a month ago. She stumbles around the house, slurring her words, falling asleep anywhere she lands. He sees it every day, no matter how hard I try to clean up after her. He’s scared to death she’ll try to drive. He asked me if she was drunk this morning on the way to school. He’s had enough. She’s had enough and I’m not going to let you make this all worse. I don’t have the energy to parent you too, so you’re going to have to stand on your own two feet for a change ’cause Dad’s not interested, no matter how good or pretty you are. It’s about him, not you.”
Nancy closed her mouth with a snap.
She turned to her mother, who looked slightly abashed. “Now, Mom, aside from calling Nancy and attempting to set us against each other to keep the heat off you, what are you going to do about what we discussed this morning? I can drive you over to the therapist’s office now. They have group sessions and individual ones. She said you might need both or one or the other. She’s referred you to someone else in her office who deals with substance-abuse issues more regularly.”
Her mother looked back and forth between them. “Nancy, do you hear this?”
Her sister exhaled and slumped down onto the couch. “She really drank bourbon at breakfast in front of Chris?”
“It’s not so much that I wished him ill by that point. Or that I hadn’t gotten over him or that he’d given me baggage or whatever. I dated. I had three serious relationships in the time between now and then. The last one I considered marrying. I’m confident of myself and I know what I want. I’m not afraid to go after it either. These are not things I didn’t have in great measure when I was with Nathan. But it’s because of him that I got stronger.”
“And then everything went catawampus.”
“Eloquent. So then my parents’ marriage breaks up. Which happens. I guess I assumed they’d stick it out. My dad was sort of lazy, and she did everything for him, especially since he retired. I was surprised and I felt bad for my mom and Chris, but it was what happened and I went back to my routine. And then Chris gets in trouble. I come here and in one night I find out this has become such a big problem my mother can’t handle it. My sister is a whackjob. I have to come back here and raise not only Chris, but my mother. I have zero control really, and into this maelstrom walks the only man I’ve ever really loved and he’s not the same as before. Not the same in any way that really matters.”
“Ah, we get to the in-over-your-head stuff now.” Beth nodded sagely.
“He’s not someone I can blow off. Not someone I can keep being angry at. He’s not someone who’ll be contained and under control. He’s an aggressive, dominant man and he slides his laid-back, good ol’ boy skin on and god damn if that doesn’t make him even more irresistible! I don’t have any defenses against that. I can’t control it, or even predict it. He’s like a shark, always moving. He’s cagey, your brother.”
Beth laughed and patted her hand. “I’m gonna have to tweet that. He is cagey. But he’s entirely okay with being laid back and lazy and have people wait on him and do all the work as long as he’s all right with the general direction. But once he gets all stirred up, you can’t stop him. He will get what he wants. He’s relentless about it. He wants you and he’s all stirred up. He’s changed. You’ve changed him even more. He’s good for you and Lord knows he needs you too. Come to my house for dinner tonight.”
Lily heaved a sigh. Still panicked, but not so much she was blind to the truth. “What time should we be there?”
She finished up with Beth and went home. May as well check in on her mother.
So it wasn’t a total surprise to see Nancy’s car in the driveway, blocking Lily’s spot. She parked on the street and went to her place first, putting her camera and bag away. She gave herself a pep talk in the mirror before heading to the main house.
“’Bout time you showed up.”
“Always first thing with you. I hope you give me a gold star in your mental inventory since being disapproving gives you such an extra charge. Did we have an appointment I was unaware of? Something else that would give you any legitimate reason to declare it’s about time I showed up as if I’d been making you wait for some ungodly amount of time?”
“You get her all upset and rush off. Threaten to take her child. How dare you!”
She turned, slowly, hands on her hips and took them both in. “How dare I? How dare she? How dare she come to the breakfast table with an ice-tea glass filled with bourbon? And refill it three times in the presence of her son who’s only just pulling himself out of some pretty deep trouble. How dare she call you in and give you free rein to stir trouble? Did you ask yourself why she’d do that? How about that? Huh? How about she stop hiding behind all this stuff? She brought you here to get in between her and me. You have to know that. She’d rather sit by and watch us fight—yet again—than own her business.”
Nancy began to speak but Lily’d had enough. “I told you last time that if you wanted to go we would, but that’d I’d end you. Think very carefully about what you say next. If you’re not here to help get her in rehab or at the very least some therapy, then get out. You can’t help her with your normal selfish shit. She needs you to be a good person for once in your life. I know you have a heart in there somewhere and I could use your help right now.
“She’s in big trouble. Chris saw her fall a month ago. She stumbles around the house, slurring her words, falling asleep anywhere she lands. He sees it every day, no matter how hard I try to clean up after her. He’s scared to death she’ll try to drive. He asked me if she was drunk this morning on the way to school. He’s had enough. She’s had enough and I’m not going to let you make this all worse. I don’t have the energy to parent you too, so you’re going to have to stand on your own two feet for a change ’cause Dad’s not interested, no matter how good or pretty you are. It’s about him, not you.”
Nancy closed her mouth with a snap.
She turned to her mother, who looked slightly abashed. “Now, Mom, aside from calling Nancy and attempting to set us against each other to keep the heat off you, what are you going to do about what we discussed this morning? I can drive you over to the therapist’s office now. They have group sessions and individual ones. She said you might need both or one or the other. She’s referred you to someone else in her office who deals with substance-abuse issues more regularly.”
Her mother looked back and forth between them. “Nancy, do you hear this?”
Her sister exhaled and slumped down onto the couch. “She really drank bourbon at breakfast in front of Chris?”
