One in a Million
Page 57
Callie kept her hand in his but she was staring at the house now. As intently as Tanner was watching her, he caught the exact second her eyes watered. She tried to blink the moisture away but it didn’t help.
“She worried about you,” Tanner went on. “Because you were an only child. You would come to the office and be told by your dad to sit still and keep quiet, and you would. You’d mess around some with the equipment, but so quietly that it was like you weren’t even there. You followed directions to the letter. Like you were afraid to do anything else.”
She shook her head. “No,” she said, but her voice wobbled and she had to clear her throat. “I wasn’t afraid of him, not like that. Never like that. He was just happiest if it was quiet and calm, so my mom made sure that we both gave him that.”
“Kids aren’t supposed to be quiet, Callie. Or calm.”
“I was,” she said.
Tanner brought their joined hands to his chest, waiting until she met his gaze to speak. “You loved your dad.”
“Yes. Still do.”
“You wanted to please him. That’s what you’d been taught by your mother’s example.”
She met his gaze. “You think I set a life pattern, trying to please the men in my life?” She saw something in his eyes, something more, and she stared at him. “Or worse, you think I aim for the unapproachable man,” she said slowly. “I set myself up to be hurt.”
“Don’t you?” he asked quietly.
“Oh my God.” She pulled her hand free to press it against her own suddenly aching heart. “You really do think that. Then how do you explain you? Wait—” She pointed at him when he opened his mouth. “Don’t you dare answer that. You think I’ve done it yet again, set myself up to fall for a man who won’t fall back. You already told me you wouldn’t fall, that this wasn’t going to be a relationship. So yes. Yes, that’s exactly what you think. Get out of my car.”
“Callie.”
“I mean it, Tanner.”
“In a minute.” He reached out and turned her face back to his. “I’m just calling it like I see it, but hell, what do I know? I grew up without a dad at all so don’t listen to me. Listen to your gut. Follow your instincts. Live however you want. Just make sure you do it, Callie. Make sure that you live.”
She stared into his eyes. “You don’t know me,” she said. “You don’t get to make snap judgments about my life.”
“I’m not making snap judgments. And I thought we established that I know you pretty damn well.”
“No, you don’t,” she said. “This”—she gestured between them—“this thing we do, it isn’t getting to know each other. We’re not even friends with benefits. We’re just the benefits.”
He looked at her for a long beat. The only clue to his thoughts was the muscle twitching in his square jaw. “Fine,” he finally said. “If that’s how you want it.”
Not trusting her voice, she nodded.
“Callie—”
“I’d really like you to get out of my car now,” she said, hating that her voice wavered. She leaned across him and shoved open the car door in blatant invitation for him to get the hell out.
He did. But before he shut the door, he rested his arms on the roof and looked into her eyes. “Ignoring this doesn’t change anything.”
“Maybe not but it’s worth a shot,” she said, and started her car. She revved the engine and he took the hint, shutting the door and leaving her alone, just as she’d wanted.
She did her best to remember that when later she was by herself in bed.
But damn. Her pillow smelled like Tanner, and lying there in the bed all by herself, she had to remind herself that being alone had been a choice. Her choice.
It took forever to fall asleep, and it was only a few minutes later when she was woken by her phone. She answered without reading the screen because she couldn’t focus yet. “’lo?”
“I need a ride.”
“Troy?” she asked, coming more awake.
“Yeah.”
She sat up. “Okay, no problem. Where are you?”
“You can’t tell anyone.”
Oh boy. Callie inhaled a deep breath. “What’s going on?”
“Promise me.”
It was hard to hear him because there was a lot of background noise. Wind? The ocean? There was a quality to his voice that said he was shaken, and she didn’t want to waste another second getting to him. “I promise,” she said, getting out of bed and shoving her legs into sweats right on top of her PJs. “Just tell me where you are.”
Ten minutes later she was parked at the far north end of the harbor, where the rocky beaches were accessible only by a long, steep, rocky trail. Rock climbers loved this area because they could rock climb with the ocean at their back, the Olympic Mountains at their front. It was a stunning locale, shown off tonight by a full moon and a sky littered with stars like diamonds on black velvet. Gorgeous, and deadly dangerous, especially at night.
And Troy had come out here alone to…what? Swim? Her heart had been pounding the entire drive over here as she debated with herself whether to call Tanner. Or the police.
Promise me.
That had held her back, the soft and rather desperate tone of a teenager who knew he was in over his head and needed her help.
He’d told her to walk on the beach for about a hundred yards and then turn to the cliffs.
“She worried about you,” Tanner went on. “Because you were an only child. You would come to the office and be told by your dad to sit still and keep quiet, and you would. You’d mess around some with the equipment, but so quietly that it was like you weren’t even there. You followed directions to the letter. Like you were afraid to do anything else.”
She shook her head. “No,” she said, but her voice wobbled and she had to clear her throat. “I wasn’t afraid of him, not like that. Never like that. He was just happiest if it was quiet and calm, so my mom made sure that we both gave him that.”
“Kids aren’t supposed to be quiet, Callie. Or calm.”
“I was,” she said.
Tanner brought their joined hands to his chest, waiting until she met his gaze to speak. “You loved your dad.”
“Yes. Still do.”
“You wanted to please him. That’s what you’d been taught by your mother’s example.”
She met his gaze. “You think I set a life pattern, trying to please the men in my life?” She saw something in his eyes, something more, and she stared at him. “Or worse, you think I aim for the unapproachable man,” she said slowly. “I set myself up to be hurt.”
“Don’t you?” he asked quietly.
“Oh my God.” She pulled her hand free to press it against her own suddenly aching heart. “You really do think that. Then how do you explain you? Wait—” She pointed at him when he opened his mouth. “Don’t you dare answer that. You think I’ve done it yet again, set myself up to fall for a man who won’t fall back. You already told me you wouldn’t fall, that this wasn’t going to be a relationship. So yes. Yes, that’s exactly what you think. Get out of my car.”
“Callie.”
“I mean it, Tanner.”
“In a minute.” He reached out and turned her face back to his. “I’m just calling it like I see it, but hell, what do I know? I grew up without a dad at all so don’t listen to me. Listen to your gut. Follow your instincts. Live however you want. Just make sure you do it, Callie. Make sure that you live.”
She stared into his eyes. “You don’t know me,” she said. “You don’t get to make snap judgments about my life.”
“I’m not making snap judgments. And I thought we established that I know you pretty damn well.”
“No, you don’t,” she said. “This”—she gestured between them—“this thing we do, it isn’t getting to know each other. We’re not even friends with benefits. We’re just the benefits.”
He looked at her for a long beat. The only clue to his thoughts was the muscle twitching in his square jaw. “Fine,” he finally said. “If that’s how you want it.”
Not trusting her voice, she nodded.
“Callie—”
“I’d really like you to get out of my car now,” she said, hating that her voice wavered. She leaned across him and shoved open the car door in blatant invitation for him to get the hell out.
He did. But before he shut the door, he rested his arms on the roof and looked into her eyes. “Ignoring this doesn’t change anything.”
“Maybe not but it’s worth a shot,” she said, and started her car. She revved the engine and he took the hint, shutting the door and leaving her alone, just as she’d wanted.
She did her best to remember that when later she was by herself in bed.
But damn. Her pillow smelled like Tanner, and lying there in the bed all by herself, she had to remind herself that being alone had been a choice. Her choice.
It took forever to fall asleep, and it was only a few minutes later when she was woken by her phone. She answered without reading the screen because she couldn’t focus yet. “’lo?”
“I need a ride.”
“Troy?” she asked, coming more awake.
“Yeah.”
She sat up. “Okay, no problem. Where are you?”
“You can’t tell anyone.”
Oh boy. Callie inhaled a deep breath. “What’s going on?”
“Promise me.”
It was hard to hear him because there was a lot of background noise. Wind? The ocean? There was a quality to his voice that said he was shaken, and she didn’t want to waste another second getting to him. “I promise,” she said, getting out of bed and shoving her legs into sweats right on top of her PJs. “Just tell me where you are.”
Ten minutes later she was parked at the far north end of the harbor, where the rocky beaches were accessible only by a long, steep, rocky trail. Rock climbers loved this area because they could rock climb with the ocean at their back, the Olympic Mountains at their front. It was a stunning locale, shown off tonight by a full moon and a sky littered with stars like diamonds on black velvet. Gorgeous, and deadly dangerous, especially at night.
And Troy had come out here alone to…what? Swim? Her heart had been pounding the entire drive over here as she debated with herself whether to call Tanner. Or the police.
Promise me.
That had held her back, the soft and rather desperate tone of a teenager who knew he was in over his head and needed her help.
He’d told her to walk on the beach for about a hundred yards and then turn to the cliffs.
