One More Chance
Page 11
“Her heart—”
“I know about her heart! Dammit, I understand what could happen. I don’t want her to have this baby. I want to save her, but she’s determined. She loves this baby so much already, and she refuses to listen to anyone tell her she can’t bring it into this world. And I love her too much to walk away just to save my heart from being destroyed. I can’t leave her, so if this is what she wants, I will take this chance and ride this ride and pray like hell I don’t lose her.”
Dad didn’t say anything for a few minutes. “I’ve never loved a woman like that. But I’m glad you found it. Just be careful. Call me if you need me. And get your ass back to Sandestin tomorrow and straighten out that order.”
“Yes, sir,” I replied.
“’Bye,” he said, then he was gone. Call ended.
He never said he loved me, and he never got very deep with me. Our relationship was based on business. I often wondered if he’d even call me at all if I didn’t work for him, so I was stunned by our conversation. This was the first time he’d admitted to not loving my mom. I always thought he had. I thought she’d ruined him. She was a beautiful, selfish, ambitious woman who traded up for husbands with more money on a regular basis. Sometimes she settled for sugar daddies to keep her in luxurious surroundings. The last time I had spoken to my mom, she’d been . . . hell, I wasn’t even sure where she lived now. It had been that long.
I set my phone down and headed back to the bedroom. I wondered if my dad would ever ask about Harlow and the baby again.
To my precious baby,
You came into this world with something special that many kids aren’t blessed with: a wonderful father. I know that by the time you read this letter, you will know just how amazing your dad is. To be loved by him is to live. And I lived because he loved me.
You have his love now, too. We may be sharing it together. If we are, then we’re the two luckiest people on earth.
My experience with my own daddy was more complicated. He was just a different kind of daddy. He loved me, which I never doubted, but he’s unique, as I’m sure you already know. Being Kiro Manning’s grandchild would be interesting, I imagine. I hope you won’t be the only one for long. Uncle Mase will have kids one day, and I know you’ll have a close relationship with them.
Your grandfather might do things that make you question him, but when you’re having mixed feelings about him, know that I love him. He was my world for a very long time. He became a different man once he lost your grandmother, and he has never been the same since. It changed him. So, love him anyway. Even when he’s crazy, love him. Love him because I love him. Because he loves me and because he won’t be able to help but love you.
I hope one day, we can curl up in your bed together and giggle about something he said or did. He’s an unforgettable character, and he will love you. I know he will.
Love you always,
Mommy
Harlow
My eyes opened, and I was in bed alone. My Grant pillow was gone, but I was tucked in, and the pillow Grant had slept on was still warm. Then I heard him.
My dad was here.
Grant was talking, but I couldn’t hear what he was saying. I sat up and took several deep breaths. I had to stay calm. Getting upset wasn’t good for the baby. I had to protect the baby. And I had to protect myself. Standing up, I ran my hand through my hair and looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were still slightly swollen from earlier, but I looked rested.
Kiro started raising his voice, and I knew Grant needed me to rescue him. My dad was in a foul mood. I had to remember he was just scared. He’d already lost so much in life.
The room fell silent when I opened the door, and both men turned to look at me. I gave Grant a reassuring smile before turning my attention to Kiro. He looked awful. He had lost weight since I’d seen him last, and there were dark circles under his eyes. He wasn’t wearing any jewelry. If he weren’t covered in tattoos, he’d look like an average older man. But he was a rock god. The world’s rock god. My dad.
“Hey, Daddy,” I said, breaking the silence that had fallen over the room.
Pain contorted his face, and he shook his head. “You can’t do this, baby girl. I won’t let you. I need you. Gambling with your life sure as hell ain’t gonna fly. I’m taking you to get this fixed.”
“No,” I interrupted him. I had known what he would say, but hearing him actually say it was too hard. “No,” I repeated for emphasis. “I’m staying here. I have an obstetrician who specializes in pregnancies like mine. He’s teamed up with a cardiologist, and I will see him weekly. Yes, this is a high-risk pregnancy compared with normal ones, but I’m considered low-risk in my category. The doctor is positive about this.”
“But there’s still a risk. Why? Why would you do this to me? You know I need you. This—this . . . thing isn’t even a baby yet. It’s just a fetus. It can kill you, Harlow. I can’t allow anything to take you away from me. Your mother wouldn’t want this. Emmy would be heartbroken. Is this a religious thing? Is this some shit your grandmama taught you? Because it’s bullshit! Do you hear me! Bullshit.”
“Daddy! Stop. I want this baby. It’s our baby. Mine and Grant’s. I love this baby—and it is a baby, not a thing. It’s our baby, and I love it so much.” My voice broke, and Grant was beside me in an instant, his arm wrapping around my shoulders.
Kiro shifted his gaze from me to Grant, and a furious gleam lit his eyes. “This is your fault,” he said.
“Daddy, no—”
“If she dies, I will kill you. Do you understand me, boy? I will end you.”
“Daddy, stop—”
“She’s all I’ve got. You can make babies with some woman who won’t get killed by it. You didn’t have to knock up my baby girl—the only f**king thing I have left of Emmy.” Kiro shook his head. “You don’t know what it’s like to love someone like I love Emmy. You have no f**king clue. And Harlow is part of Emmy. My Emmy.”
My stomach felt sick, and my chest hurt. I hated hearing him talk about Emily, my mother. He still grieved over the life he had lost with her. It broke my heart over and over again now that I knew the truth behind my father’s rock-and-roll image.
“Harlow is my world. I love her, and I will do anything to protect her. She’s my only concern. But she also wants this baby. I won’t force her to do something she doesn’t want to do.” Grant’s words sounded grave and tense.
Kiro continued to glare at him. “Really? Because you sure weren’t thinking about keeping her safe when you f**ked her without protection,” he snarled.
Grant flinched.
“Daddy, please stop this.”
“I didn’t know about her heart. I never would’ve . . .” Grant swallowed and took a deep, ragged breath. “Never would’ve done anything to hurt her. I had no idea she had this condition. I wasn’t trying to get her pregnant.”
“But you did,” Kiro said in a hateful tone. Then he turned his attention back to me. “You’ve always known you couldn’t have kids, Harlow. It wasn’t something we kept from you. I warned you all your life that you had to be careful and take care of yourself, that your heart wasn’t as strong as others’.”
I had lived in fear as a child because Kiro had convinced me that if I did anything exciting, my heart would stop working. I didn’t understand what was wrong with it, but I knew it was broken. I hated being broken. “I don’t want to live like I’m broken. I’m strong, Daddy. I’ve proved that over the years. I need you to believe me. Trust me that I can do this, because I’m going to. Grant can’t change my mind, you can’t change my mind, and no doctor can change my mind. I want this baby. I want our baby,” I said, reaching for Grant’s hand and threading my fingers through his.
Kiro threw up his hands and let out a string of curses, then pointed at our clasped hands. “Enjoy that, because you’re killing her!” he yelled at Grant. “Life without the love of the woman who owns you makes it one empty f**king nightmare. Prepare yourself, because I’ve already lived this hell. I know what it’s like.” He took a step toward me and cupped my face in his hands. “I love you. You’re my girl. Always have been,” Kiro whispered, and he pressed a kiss to my cheek. Then he turned and walked out the door without another word.
I waited for it to sink in that he was gone. He was angry, but he was leaving. I would miss him, but I knew that once I survived this, he’d come around. He would be a part of our baby’s life, and he would love his grandchild. I just had to live for all of us.
Grant tugged my hand until I was pressed against his chest. His body was tense, and I knew the words my dad had spat at him were going to haunt him. Kiro didn’t know he had just thrown all of Grant’s fears in his face.
“I’m going to be OK. I can do this,” I told him with a fierceness that left little doubt. I was strong. I was going to show them all just how strong I was.
“You have to be. I can’t . . . I can’t live without you,” he said, his voice thick with emotion.
It was my turn to reassure him. I reached up and pulled his face down to mine so I could press my lips firmly against his. He opened for me immediately, and his hands wrapped around me as he kissed me with all the love, passion, and warmth that embodied Grant Carter.
Grant
Blaire rescheduled her girls’ day with Harlow and invited Della along for lunch and a trip to the spa. The idea of Harlow getting pampered made me happy. As long as the people touching her were women. Blaire had assured me they would be, then laughed at me.
I had handled the issue in Sandestin and didn’t have to work, but I knew Harlow needed time with friends. I wanted to give her space. Then Woods called and asked if Rush and I wanted to join him for a round of golf. It had been a while since we’d done this. I knew the absence of Jace would be on all of our minds.
I had stepped out of the truck and reached for my clubs in the back when I smelled a familiar perfume. Shit. No one had told me Nan was back in town. I hauled the bag out of the truck bed, then turned to face Nan. My biggest mistake.
“You look better than the last time I saw you,” she said with a smirk.
“I am better. You enjoy Paris?” I asked, pulling the strap of my bag up my shoulder.
“I always enjoy Paris,” she said as she took a step toward me and ran her hand up my chest. “I miss you. I miss the things you can do with that mouth of yours.” She ran her finger over my lips.
I shook my head and started to step back, but I wasn’t fast enough. Nan slipped her hand into my hair and grabbed a handful, then pressed her mouth against mine. I was in shock at first but only for a second, before I shoved her back, breaking the kiss.
“What the f**k?” I asked, furious. “You don’t get to do that shit. I’m not available, and if I was, I sure as hell wouldn’t be available for you.”
Nan glared at me. “Not available? Don’t tell me Harlow came back,” she said hatefully. As if “Harlow” was a bad word that she hated saying.
“Harlow is back, and she’s pregnant. With my baby,” I said with emphasis.
Nan frowned at me. “Pregnant?” she repeated.
I nodded, a little confused at the pride that came with that word. I hated that she was pregnant. I hated that she was in danger. But there was pride in saying a part of me was inside Harlow.
“She can’t get pregnant,” Nan said slowly. “She has a heart condition. What the hell were you thinking?” Of all the people in the world, I expected to blame myself and scold myself for this; I never expected it from Nan. “She can’t have a baby,” Nan repeated, as if she wasn’t sure it had sunk in for me yet.
“She’s having the baby. I’ve tried talking her out of it, but she refuses to listen to me. She won’t . . . she already loves the baby,” I explained, not missing that it was slightly odd to be explaining myself to Nan.
Nan put her hand on her hip and studied me a moment before saying anything else. “So you’re just gonna let her have a baby that will kill her? Does Kiro know?”
“He was here two days ago. You just missed him.”
Nan rolled her eyes. She wasn’t a fan of her father’s. He had neglected her for most of her life and hardly claimed her as a daughter, all while he had loved and cherished Harlow. Nan held a lot of bitterness toward both of them. “Hate that I missed that,” she said sarcastically.
“I gotta go. Rush and Woods are waiting for me,” I said, turning to leave her there. I didn’t want to chat with Nan any longer. It was weird, and I felt like I was cheating on Harlow by just carrying on a conversation with Nan.
“Can I join?” Nan asked.
“No, you can’t.” Blaire’s voice surprised me, and I turned around to see her walking toward us as Harlow and Della stood at the main entrance of the club. Harlow looked like she was on the verge of tears, and the pain in her eyes had me dropping my bag and heading for her.
“I don’t recall asking you, Blaire,” Nan snapped.
“You didn’t ask me. But I’m answering,” Blaire retorted. I didn’t stay there to referee. They might be related by marriage now, but those two hadn’t made any sort of bond. I doubted they ever would.
Della was glaring at me as I ran up the stairs to where she and Harlow were standing.
“Your car’s here, Miss Sloane,” the valet said as I approached.
“Not ready for it just yet. Give us a minute, please,” Della replied, and she swung her angry gaze back to me.
“I know about her heart! Dammit, I understand what could happen. I don’t want her to have this baby. I want to save her, but she’s determined. She loves this baby so much already, and she refuses to listen to anyone tell her she can’t bring it into this world. And I love her too much to walk away just to save my heart from being destroyed. I can’t leave her, so if this is what she wants, I will take this chance and ride this ride and pray like hell I don’t lose her.”
Dad didn’t say anything for a few minutes. “I’ve never loved a woman like that. But I’m glad you found it. Just be careful. Call me if you need me. And get your ass back to Sandestin tomorrow and straighten out that order.”
“Yes, sir,” I replied.
“’Bye,” he said, then he was gone. Call ended.
He never said he loved me, and he never got very deep with me. Our relationship was based on business. I often wondered if he’d even call me at all if I didn’t work for him, so I was stunned by our conversation. This was the first time he’d admitted to not loving my mom. I always thought he had. I thought she’d ruined him. She was a beautiful, selfish, ambitious woman who traded up for husbands with more money on a regular basis. Sometimes she settled for sugar daddies to keep her in luxurious surroundings. The last time I had spoken to my mom, she’d been . . . hell, I wasn’t even sure where she lived now. It had been that long.
I set my phone down and headed back to the bedroom. I wondered if my dad would ever ask about Harlow and the baby again.
To my precious baby,
You came into this world with something special that many kids aren’t blessed with: a wonderful father. I know that by the time you read this letter, you will know just how amazing your dad is. To be loved by him is to live. And I lived because he loved me.
You have his love now, too. We may be sharing it together. If we are, then we’re the two luckiest people on earth.
My experience with my own daddy was more complicated. He was just a different kind of daddy. He loved me, which I never doubted, but he’s unique, as I’m sure you already know. Being Kiro Manning’s grandchild would be interesting, I imagine. I hope you won’t be the only one for long. Uncle Mase will have kids one day, and I know you’ll have a close relationship with them.
Your grandfather might do things that make you question him, but when you’re having mixed feelings about him, know that I love him. He was my world for a very long time. He became a different man once he lost your grandmother, and he has never been the same since. It changed him. So, love him anyway. Even when he’s crazy, love him. Love him because I love him. Because he loves me and because he won’t be able to help but love you.
I hope one day, we can curl up in your bed together and giggle about something he said or did. He’s an unforgettable character, and he will love you. I know he will.
Love you always,
Mommy
Harlow
My eyes opened, and I was in bed alone. My Grant pillow was gone, but I was tucked in, and the pillow Grant had slept on was still warm. Then I heard him.
My dad was here.
Grant was talking, but I couldn’t hear what he was saying. I sat up and took several deep breaths. I had to stay calm. Getting upset wasn’t good for the baby. I had to protect the baby. And I had to protect myself. Standing up, I ran my hand through my hair and looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were still slightly swollen from earlier, but I looked rested.
Kiro started raising his voice, and I knew Grant needed me to rescue him. My dad was in a foul mood. I had to remember he was just scared. He’d already lost so much in life.
The room fell silent when I opened the door, and both men turned to look at me. I gave Grant a reassuring smile before turning my attention to Kiro. He looked awful. He had lost weight since I’d seen him last, and there were dark circles under his eyes. He wasn’t wearing any jewelry. If he weren’t covered in tattoos, he’d look like an average older man. But he was a rock god. The world’s rock god. My dad.
“Hey, Daddy,” I said, breaking the silence that had fallen over the room.
Pain contorted his face, and he shook his head. “You can’t do this, baby girl. I won’t let you. I need you. Gambling with your life sure as hell ain’t gonna fly. I’m taking you to get this fixed.”
“No,” I interrupted him. I had known what he would say, but hearing him actually say it was too hard. “No,” I repeated for emphasis. “I’m staying here. I have an obstetrician who specializes in pregnancies like mine. He’s teamed up with a cardiologist, and I will see him weekly. Yes, this is a high-risk pregnancy compared with normal ones, but I’m considered low-risk in my category. The doctor is positive about this.”
“But there’s still a risk. Why? Why would you do this to me? You know I need you. This—this . . . thing isn’t even a baby yet. It’s just a fetus. It can kill you, Harlow. I can’t allow anything to take you away from me. Your mother wouldn’t want this. Emmy would be heartbroken. Is this a religious thing? Is this some shit your grandmama taught you? Because it’s bullshit! Do you hear me! Bullshit.”
“Daddy! Stop. I want this baby. It’s our baby. Mine and Grant’s. I love this baby—and it is a baby, not a thing. It’s our baby, and I love it so much.” My voice broke, and Grant was beside me in an instant, his arm wrapping around my shoulders.
Kiro shifted his gaze from me to Grant, and a furious gleam lit his eyes. “This is your fault,” he said.
“Daddy, no—”
“If she dies, I will kill you. Do you understand me, boy? I will end you.”
“Daddy, stop—”
“She’s all I’ve got. You can make babies with some woman who won’t get killed by it. You didn’t have to knock up my baby girl—the only f**king thing I have left of Emmy.” Kiro shook his head. “You don’t know what it’s like to love someone like I love Emmy. You have no f**king clue. And Harlow is part of Emmy. My Emmy.”
My stomach felt sick, and my chest hurt. I hated hearing him talk about Emily, my mother. He still grieved over the life he had lost with her. It broke my heart over and over again now that I knew the truth behind my father’s rock-and-roll image.
“Harlow is my world. I love her, and I will do anything to protect her. She’s my only concern. But she also wants this baby. I won’t force her to do something she doesn’t want to do.” Grant’s words sounded grave and tense.
Kiro continued to glare at him. “Really? Because you sure weren’t thinking about keeping her safe when you f**ked her without protection,” he snarled.
Grant flinched.
“Daddy, please stop this.”
“I didn’t know about her heart. I never would’ve . . .” Grant swallowed and took a deep, ragged breath. “Never would’ve done anything to hurt her. I had no idea she had this condition. I wasn’t trying to get her pregnant.”
“But you did,” Kiro said in a hateful tone. Then he turned his attention back to me. “You’ve always known you couldn’t have kids, Harlow. It wasn’t something we kept from you. I warned you all your life that you had to be careful and take care of yourself, that your heart wasn’t as strong as others’.”
I had lived in fear as a child because Kiro had convinced me that if I did anything exciting, my heart would stop working. I didn’t understand what was wrong with it, but I knew it was broken. I hated being broken. “I don’t want to live like I’m broken. I’m strong, Daddy. I’ve proved that over the years. I need you to believe me. Trust me that I can do this, because I’m going to. Grant can’t change my mind, you can’t change my mind, and no doctor can change my mind. I want this baby. I want our baby,” I said, reaching for Grant’s hand and threading my fingers through his.
Kiro threw up his hands and let out a string of curses, then pointed at our clasped hands. “Enjoy that, because you’re killing her!” he yelled at Grant. “Life without the love of the woman who owns you makes it one empty f**king nightmare. Prepare yourself, because I’ve already lived this hell. I know what it’s like.” He took a step toward me and cupped my face in his hands. “I love you. You’re my girl. Always have been,” Kiro whispered, and he pressed a kiss to my cheek. Then he turned and walked out the door without another word.
I waited for it to sink in that he was gone. He was angry, but he was leaving. I would miss him, but I knew that once I survived this, he’d come around. He would be a part of our baby’s life, and he would love his grandchild. I just had to live for all of us.
Grant tugged my hand until I was pressed against his chest. His body was tense, and I knew the words my dad had spat at him were going to haunt him. Kiro didn’t know he had just thrown all of Grant’s fears in his face.
“I’m going to be OK. I can do this,” I told him with a fierceness that left little doubt. I was strong. I was going to show them all just how strong I was.
“You have to be. I can’t . . . I can’t live without you,” he said, his voice thick with emotion.
It was my turn to reassure him. I reached up and pulled his face down to mine so I could press my lips firmly against his. He opened for me immediately, and his hands wrapped around me as he kissed me with all the love, passion, and warmth that embodied Grant Carter.
Grant
Blaire rescheduled her girls’ day with Harlow and invited Della along for lunch and a trip to the spa. The idea of Harlow getting pampered made me happy. As long as the people touching her were women. Blaire had assured me they would be, then laughed at me.
I had handled the issue in Sandestin and didn’t have to work, but I knew Harlow needed time with friends. I wanted to give her space. Then Woods called and asked if Rush and I wanted to join him for a round of golf. It had been a while since we’d done this. I knew the absence of Jace would be on all of our minds.
I had stepped out of the truck and reached for my clubs in the back when I smelled a familiar perfume. Shit. No one had told me Nan was back in town. I hauled the bag out of the truck bed, then turned to face Nan. My biggest mistake.
“You look better than the last time I saw you,” she said with a smirk.
“I am better. You enjoy Paris?” I asked, pulling the strap of my bag up my shoulder.
“I always enjoy Paris,” she said as she took a step toward me and ran her hand up my chest. “I miss you. I miss the things you can do with that mouth of yours.” She ran her finger over my lips.
I shook my head and started to step back, but I wasn’t fast enough. Nan slipped her hand into my hair and grabbed a handful, then pressed her mouth against mine. I was in shock at first but only for a second, before I shoved her back, breaking the kiss.
“What the f**k?” I asked, furious. “You don’t get to do that shit. I’m not available, and if I was, I sure as hell wouldn’t be available for you.”
Nan glared at me. “Not available? Don’t tell me Harlow came back,” she said hatefully. As if “Harlow” was a bad word that she hated saying.
“Harlow is back, and she’s pregnant. With my baby,” I said with emphasis.
Nan frowned at me. “Pregnant?” she repeated.
I nodded, a little confused at the pride that came with that word. I hated that she was pregnant. I hated that she was in danger. But there was pride in saying a part of me was inside Harlow.
“She can’t get pregnant,” Nan said slowly. “She has a heart condition. What the hell were you thinking?” Of all the people in the world, I expected to blame myself and scold myself for this; I never expected it from Nan. “She can’t have a baby,” Nan repeated, as if she wasn’t sure it had sunk in for me yet.
“She’s having the baby. I’ve tried talking her out of it, but she refuses to listen to me. She won’t . . . she already loves the baby,” I explained, not missing that it was slightly odd to be explaining myself to Nan.
Nan put her hand on her hip and studied me a moment before saying anything else. “So you’re just gonna let her have a baby that will kill her? Does Kiro know?”
“He was here two days ago. You just missed him.”
Nan rolled her eyes. She wasn’t a fan of her father’s. He had neglected her for most of her life and hardly claimed her as a daughter, all while he had loved and cherished Harlow. Nan held a lot of bitterness toward both of them. “Hate that I missed that,” she said sarcastically.
“I gotta go. Rush and Woods are waiting for me,” I said, turning to leave her there. I didn’t want to chat with Nan any longer. It was weird, and I felt like I was cheating on Harlow by just carrying on a conversation with Nan.
“Can I join?” Nan asked.
“No, you can’t.” Blaire’s voice surprised me, and I turned around to see her walking toward us as Harlow and Della stood at the main entrance of the club. Harlow looked like she was on the verge of tears, and the pain in her eyes had me dropping my bag and heading for her.
“I don’t recall asking you, Blaire,” Nan snapped.
“You didn’t ask me. But I’m answering,” Blaire retorted. I didn’t stay there to referee. They might be related by marriage now, but those two hadn’t made any sort of bond. I doubted they ever would.
Della was glaring at me as I ran up the stairs to where she and Harlow were standing.
“Your car’s here, Miss Sloane,” the valet said as I approached.
“Not ready for it just yet. Give us a minute, please,” Della replied, and she swung her angry gaze back to me.