Only Mine
Page 10
“I try not to be. Besides, you’re easy.”
“It was the sauce made with green vegetables that pushed me over the edge.”
“Not the soy ice cream?”
“I figured I’d leave early.”
“Coward.”
They smiled at each other. She felt the bad tension bleed away and a nice, new boy-girl tension take its place.
“You grew up with brothers, didn’t you?” he asked.
“How can you tell?”
“You’re not worried about my ego.”
“Interesting observation,” she said, then sipped her wine. “I hadn’t thought about that, but you’re right. I have three older brothers.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Six kids?”
“Yes. I think my mom really wanted a girl. Instead she got three for the price of one.”
“That had to have been a shock.”
“I’m sure it was. Apparently having triplets is really hard on the woman’s body. She was in the hospital after we were born. For a while, the doctors were concerned she wasn’t going to make it. My dad had to have been freaked out, and my brothers were really young and missing their mom. Complicating everything was the fact that it was Christmas. To distract them, he told them they could name us, but that all three of them had to agree on the names.”
She paused and wrinkled her nose. “Which is why we’re Dakota, Nevada and Montana.”
“Very patriotic.”
She laughed. “When I used to get frustrated at their choice, my mom would point out that it could have been a lot worse. Apparently Oceania was in the running.”
“Sounds like a fun family.”
“It is.” She shifted on the sofa. “What was it like for you? Before you lost your family?”
“Good. Fun. We were close.” He shrugged. “My brothers are a lot younger than me, which influenced the relationship.”
“You must have been devastated when your parents died.”
He nodded. “I was. I didn’t know how I was going to do it. Raise the boys and not screw up.”
“Be proud of what you’ve accomplished. I don’t think I could have done it. We lost my dad ten years ago. My sisters and I were just out of high school, ready to start college. My brothers were either in college or done. There was nothing for me to do but get through the mourning. And it was hard every day. I can’t imagine having to deal with the emotional loss and raise two younger brothers.”
Finn looked uncomfortable with the praise. “I did what had to be done. Some days I think I did okay. Others, like when I’m in my hotel room here in Fool’s Gold, I think I screwed up completely.”
“You didn’t. What they’re doing now has nothing to do with you.”
He looked at her. “I want to believe you.”
“Then you should.”
“You’re bossy. Has anyone ever told you that?”
“Are you kidding? With three brothers? I have a crown. I’m the queen of bossy.”
Finn laughed. The warm sound filled the room and made her smile. They continued talking until, in the kitchen, the timer dinged.
“Come on,” she said, rising to her feet. “Our tofu surprise awaits.”
FINN ENJOYED HIS DINNER. Not just the chicken and mashed potatoes, which were the best he’d had in months. Maybe years. But also the conversation. Dakota told funny stories about growing up in Fool’s Gold. He knew what small towns were like, but South Salmon made Fool’s Gold look like New York City. Where he lived, people tended to keep to themselves. Sure, you could count on a neighbor to help, but everyone minded their own business. From what Dakota said, Fool’s Gold was the town that meddled.
“If you’d come here under other circumstances,” she said, “I’m sure you would’ve liked it a lot more.”
“I like Fool’s Gold just fine,” he told her.
“This is always going to be the place your brothers ran off to.”
“Look at it this way,” he said. “When Sasha moves to L.A., I’ll hate it there, instead.”
“That’s not very comforting.”
They smiled at each other across the table. He liked how the light played on her hair, bringing out the various shades of blond. When she laughed, her eyes crinkled in a way that made him want to laugh, too. Dakota was easy to talk to. He’d forgotten how nice it could be to enjoy a woman’s company for an evening.
“How come your boss is so understanding?” he asked. “You said you had another job. What’s he doing while you’re working with the show?”
Dakota wrinkled her nose. “Not missing me,” she grumbled. “Raoul is busy playing house with his new wife. Do you follow football?”
“Some. Why?”
“My boss is Raoul Moreno.”
“The Dallas Cowboys quarterback?”
“That’s him. When he retired, he wanted to settle down and found his way here. There was an old abandoned camp up in the mountains. He bought it and refurbished it. He hired me to coordinate the various programs. He had this whole idea to use it year-round. In the winter we were going to offer math and science programs. Intensive learning for middle-school-age kids. Get them all interested in the possibilities.”
Sounded like a good idea, he thought. “What happened?”
“One of the local elementary schools burned down. It was a freak thing with the furnace. Raoul offered the camp to the school district. That was last September. Until the new school is built and the kids move back, the camp is full. Our big plans are on hold. Which is one of the main reasons he didn’t mind me helping out with the reality show.”
She leaned toward him. “The other reason is, he recently got married. Pia, his wife, is pregnant with twins. She’s due in a couple of months, and that’s keeping him busy.”
“What are you going to do between the end of the show and when the school is done using the camp?” he asked.
“Raoul wants me to keep working for him. There’s plenty to do. We have to apply for grants, find corporate sponsors, come up with a curriculum.”
“All of which you’d rather be doing,” he said.
She smiled. “Absolutely.”
“Is leaving an option? Do you ever think about living anywhere else?”
“I’ve lived other places. Got my undergraduate degree at UCLA, my masters and Ph.D. at Berkeley. But Fool’s Gold is home. It’s where I belong. Do you think about leaving South Salmon?”
At one time he had. When he’d been Sasha and Stephen’s age he’d dreamed of seeing the world. But then his parents had died and he’d had two brothers to raise. There hadn’t been time for dreams.
“I have a business there,” he said. “Leaving is impractical.”
“And you’re a practical guy?”
“I’ve learned to be,” he admitted.
“You said you were wild before.” Her gaze locked with his. “Would I have liked you?”
“I would’ve liked you.”
He felt the awareness crackling between them. Everything about Dakota appealed to him. Sure, she was pretty, but it was more than that. He liked listening to her. He liked her opinions and how she looked at the world. Maybe part of him liked that she was as firmly connected to Fool’s Gold as he was to South Salmon. They couldn’t make a mistake because it couldn’t go anywhere.
Wanting stirred. It had been a long time since he’d had the time or energy to be interested in a woman. Given how concerned he was about his brothers, it was extraordinary he was interested now. Which begged the question—what did he do next?
“I have dessert,” Dakota said, coming to her feet. “And it’s not soy-based. Interested?”
He stood as well, then came around the table. He supposed he should ask. After all, this wasn’t just about him. Dakota was a rational, thoughtful woman. She would appreciate getting all the details out of the way first, assuming she was interested at all. But instead of asking, he moved closer. He cupped her face in his hands, leaned in and kissed her.
CHAPTER FIVE
DAKOTA HAD EXPECTED SOMETHING along the lines of, “What flavor of ice cream do you have?” She hadn’t expected Finn to kiss her.
His hands were warm on her face, which was nice enough. But what really got her attention was the feel of his mouth on hers. His lips were soft enough to tempt her and firm enough to allow her to relax. He kissed her gently, but deliberately enough to let her know that he really meant it. He kissed like he was hungry and she was an unexpected buffet.
His lips teased hers, moving lightly, as if searching for the best place to land. It’d been a long time since a man had kissed her. A long time since she’d wanted one to. Last fall, before she discovered she was broken inside, she would have said she wanted to be in a relationship. After, everything had changed. Now she wasn’t sure. But with Finn, it didn’t matter. He wasn’t staying and anything between them wasn’t permanent.
A very freeing concept.
He dropped his hands to her waist and drew her against him. She wrapped her arms around him and leaned in to the embrace. Her head tilted, he moved closer. He tasted of the wine they’d had with dinner. He smelled clean and masculine. As she moved her hands from his shoulders to his arms, she felt the strength of him.
The kiss continued. Skin on skin, warm. Appealing. Then something changed. Maybe it was the way he shifted his hands to her back and spanned the length of her spine. Maybe it was her thighs brushing his. Maybe it was the placement of the moon in the sky. Or maybe it was finally time for something good to happen to her.
Regardless of the reason, one second she was enjoying a perfectly respectable kiss from a very charming man. The next, fire swept through her body. It was as unexpected as it was intense. Heat was everywhere. Heat and hunger and the kind of wanting that stole a woman’s will and left her prepared to beg.
Instead of holding on to him, she found herself clinging. The need to get closer grew until it overwhelmed her. She parted her lips, hoping to deepen the kiss. Thankfully, he read her mind. His tongue swept inside, brushing against hers.
It was heaven. Every stroke made her insides clench, her legs shake. She kissed him back, enjoying the growing sense of arousal. She wanted to be swept away, to be reminded of exactly what her body could do.
She’d been numb for so long, she realized. Disconnected from everything but the pain. She’d blocked off nearly all emotions, going through the motions so well, she’d even fooled herself.
He kissed her more deeply. She closed her lips around his tongue and sucked gently. He tensed in her embrace, as if holding back.
He was going to stop. But he couldn’t. She needed this. He had to…
Only he didn’t have to do anything. This wasn’t her, she told herself firmly. She didn’t attack guys in her kitchen—or anywhere else. The polite course of action seemed to be to step back.
Oh, but she wanted him. Her br**sts ached. Her ni**les were so sensitive, the feel of her bra was nearly agony. Between her legs, she was swollen and hungry. She wanted his big hands to touch her everywhere. She wanted to see him na**d and hard in her bed. She wanted to be filled over and over until she found her release and with it, maybe a little healing.
It took every ounce of self-control, but somehow she managed to drop her hands to her sides and put some room between them. She was aware of her frantic breathing and hoped she didn’t look too desperate. Sexual confidence was attractive. Desperation tended to send a man running.
Finn’s eyes were dark with passion, which was nice. She was tempted to glance down to see if there was physical proof of his feelings, but she couldn’t figure out how to do it without being obvious. Still, there was every chance he’d been offering a polite kiss and she’d gone after him like a sex-starved monkey.
“I, ah, don’t know what to say,” she admitted, not quite meeting his gaze.
“I shouldn’t have done that,” Finn mumbled. “You weren’t… That’s not why you…” He cleared his throat.
She frowned, not sure if he was apologizing or trying to escape. Hope shoved embarrassment out of the way.
“I’m glad that you did that,” she said, telling herself that being brave built character. “You are?”
She forced herself to look at him and found him staring at her. Oh, yeah. That was some serious passion.
“Very glad.”
One eyebrow raised. “Me, too.”
Heat stained her cheeks, but she plunged ahead anyway. “We could do it again.”
“We could. There’s only one problem.”
He was married? He used to be a woman? He was gay?
“I’m not sure I’ll want to stop,” he admitted.
The relief was nearly as good as the kiss had been. Dakota stepped toward him and didn’t stop until her body was plastered against his. Which answered the question about his feelings on the subject.
“That works for me,” she whispered.
She’d planned to say more, to suggest they move to her bedroom, but she didn’t get the chance.
Once again, Finn kissed her. And while it wasn’t as unexpected as the first time, she still found herself swept away.
She surrendered to his strong embrace, wanting to feel his arms around her. She parted her mouth, and he plunged inside, teasing her into passionate frenzy. Even as his mouth claimed hers, his hands were everywhere. He stroked her back, then dropped lower, to her rear. He cupped the curves, squeezing until she instinctively arched forward.
“It was the sauce made with green vegetables that pushed me over the edge.”
“Not the soy ice cream?”
“I figured I’d leave early.”
“Coward.”
They smiled at each other. She felt the bad tension bleed away and a nice, new boy-girl tension take its place.
“You grew up with brothers, didn’t you?” he asked.
“How can you tell?”
“You’re not worried about my ego.”
“Interesting observation,” she said, then sipped her wine. “I hadn’t thought about that, but you’re right. I have three older brothers.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Six kids?”
“Yes. I think my mom really wanted a girl. Instead she got three for the price of one.”
“That had to have been a shock.”
“I’m sure it was. Apparently having triplets is really hard on the woman’s body. She was in the hospital after we were born. For a while, the doctors were concerned she wasn’t going to make it. My dad had to have been freaked out, and my brothers were really young and missing their mom. Complicating everything was the fact that it was Christmas. To distract them, he told them they could name us, but that all three of them had to agree on the names.”
She paused and wrinkled her nose. “Which is why we’re Dakota, Nevada and Montana.”
“Very patriotic.”
She laughed. “When I used to get frustrated at their choice, my mom would point out that it could have been a lot worse. Apparently Oceania was in the running.”
“Sounds like a fun family.”
“It is.” She shifted on the sofa. “What was it like for you? Before you lost your family?”
“Good. Fun. We were close.” He shrugged. “My brothers are a lot younger than me, which influenced the relationship.”
“You must have been devastated when your parents died.”
He nodded. “I was. I didn’t know how I was going to do it. Raise the boys and not screw up.”
“Be proud of what you’ve accomplished. I don’t think I could have done it. We lost my dad ten years ago. My sisters and I were just out of high school, ready to start college. My brothers were either in college or done. There was nothing for me to do but get through the mourning. And it was hard every day. I can’t imagine having to deal with the emotional loss and raise two younger brothers.”
Finn looked uncomfortable with the praise. “I did what had to be done. Some days I think I did okay. Others, like when I’m in my hotel room here in Fool’s Gold, I think I screwed up completely.”
“You didn’t. What they’re doing now has nothing to do with you.”
He looked at her. “I want to believe you.”
“Then you should.”
“You’re bossy. Has anyone ever told you that?”
“Are you kidding? With three brothers? I have a crown. I’m the queen of bossy.”
Finn laughed. The warm sound filled the room and made her smile. They continued talking until, in the kitchen, the timer dinged.
“Come on,” she said, rising to her feet. “Our tofu surprise awaits.”
FINN ENJOYED HIS DINNER. Not just the chicken and mashed potatoes, which were the best he’d had in months. Maybe years. But also the conversation. Dakota told funny stories about growing up in Fool’s Gold. He knew what small towns were like, but South Salmon made Fool’s Gold look like New York City. Where he lived, people tended to keep to themselves. Sure, you could count on a neighbor to help, but everyone minded their own business. From what Dakota said, Fool’s Gold was the town that meddled.
“If you’d come here under other circumstances,” she said, “I’m sure you would’ve liked it a lot more.”
“I like Fool’s Gold just fine,” he told her.
“This is always going to be the place your brothers ran off to.”
“Look at it this way,” he said. “When Sasha moves to L.A., I’ll hate it there, instead.”
“That’s not very comforting.”
They smiled at each other across the table. He liked how the light played on her hair, bringing out the various shades of blond. When she laughed, her eyes crinkled in a way that made him want to laugh, too. Dakota was easy to talk to. He’d forgotten how nice it could be to enjoy a woman’s company for an evening.
“How come your boss is so understanding?” he asked. “You said you had another job. What’s he doing while you’re working with the show?”
Dakota wrinkled her nose. “Not missing me,” she grumbled. “Raoul is busy playing house with his new wife. Do you follow football?”
“Some. Why?”
“My boss is Raoul Moreno.”
“The Dallas Cowboys quarterback?”
“That’s him. When he retired, he wanted to settle down and found his way here. There was an old abandoned camp up in the mountains. He bought it and refurbished it. He hired me to coordinate the various programs. He had this whole idea to use it year-round. In the winter we were going to offer math and science programs. Intensive learning for middle-school-age kids. Get them all interested in the possibilities.”
Sounded like a good idea, he thought. “What happened?”
“One of the local elementary schools burned down. It was a freak thing with the furnace. Raoul offered the camp to the school district. That was last September. Until the new school is built and the kids move back, the camp is full. Our big plans are on hold. Which is one of the main reasons he didn’t mind me helping out with the reality show.”
She leaned toward him. “The other reason is, he recently got married. Pia, his wife, is pregnant with twins. She’s due in a couple of months, and that’s keeping him busy.”
“What are you going to do between the end of the show and when the school is done using the camp?” he asked.
“Raoul wants me to keep working for him. There’s plenty to do. We have to apply for grants, find corporate sponsors, come up with a curriculum.”
“All of which you’d rather be doing,” he said.
She smiled. “Absolutely.”
“Is leaving an option? Do you ever think about living anywhere else?”
“I’ve lived other places. Got my undergraduate degree at UCLA, my masters and Ph.D. at Berkeley. But Fool’s Gold is home. It’s where I belong. Do you think about leaving South Salmon?”
At one time he had. When he’d been Sasha and Stephen’s age he’d dreamed of seeing the world. But then his parents had died and he’d had two brothers to raise. There hadn’t been time for dreams.
“I have a business there,” he said. “Leaving is impractical.”
“And you’re a practical guy?”
“I’ve learned to be,” he admitted.
“You said you were wild before.” Her gaze locked with his. “Would I have liked you?”
“I would’ve liked you.”
He felt the awareness crackling between them. Everything about Dakota appealed to him. Sure, she was pretty, but it was more than that. He liked listening to her. He liked her opinions and how she looked at the world. Maybe part of him liked that she was as firmly connected to Fool’s Gold as he was to South Salmon. They couldn’t make a mistake because it couldn’t go anywhere.
Wanting stirred. It had been a long time since he’d had the time or energy to be interested in a woman. Given how concerned he was about his brothers, it was extraordinary he was interested now. Which begged the question—what did he do next?
“I have dessert,” Dakota said, coming to her feet. “And it’s not soy-based. Interested?”
He stood as well, then came around the table. He supposed he should ask. After all, this wasn’t just about him. Dakota was a rational, thoughtful woman. She would appreciate getting all the details out of the way first, assuming she was interested at all. But instead of asking, he moved closer. He cupped her face in his hands, leaned in and kissed her.
CHAPTER FIVE
DAKOTA HAD EXPECTED SOMETHING along the lines of, “What flavor of ice cream do you have?” She hadn’t expected Finn to kiss her.
His hands were warm on her face, which was nice enough. But what really got her attention was the feel of his mouth on hers. His lips were soft enough to tempt her and firm enough to allow her to relax. He kissed her gently, but deliberately enough to let her know that he really meant it. He kissed like he was hungry and she was an unexpected buffet.
His lips teased hers, moving lightly, as if searching for the best place to land. It’d been a long time since a man had kissed her. A long time since she’d wanted one to. Last fall, before she discovered she was broken inside, she would have said she wanted to be in a relationship. After, everything had changed. Now she wasn’t sure. But with Finn, it didn’t matter. He wasn’t staying and anything between them wasn’t permanent.
A very freeing concept.
He dropped his hands to her waist and drew her against him. She wrapped her arms around him and leaned in to the embrace. Her head tilted, he moved closer. He tasted of the wine they’d had with dinner. He smelled clean and masculine. As she moved her hands from his shoulders to his arms, she felt the strength of him.
The kiss continued. Skin on skin, warm. Appealing. Then something changed. Maybe it was the way he shifted his hands to her back and spanned the length of her spine. Maybe it was her thighs brushing his. Maybe it was the placement of the moon in the sky. Or maybe it was finally time for something good to happen to her.
Regardless of the reason, one second she was enjoying a perfectly respectable kiss from a very charming man. The next, fire swept through her body. It was as unexpected as it was intense. Heat was everywhere. Heat and hunger and the kind of wanting that stole a woman’s will and left her prepared to beg.
Instead of holding on to him, she found herself clinging. The need to get closer grew until it overwhelmed her. She parted her lips, hoping to deepen the kiss. Thankfully, he read her mind. His tongue swept inside, brushing against hers.
It was heaven. Every stroke made her insides clench, her legs shake. She kissed him back, enjoying the growing sense of arousal. She wanted to be swept away, to be reminded of exactly what her body could do.
She’d been numb for so long, she realized. Disconnected from everything but the pain. She’d blocked off nearly all emotions, going through the motions so well, she’d even fooled herself.
He kissed her more deeply. She closed her lips around his tongue and sucked gently. He tensed in her embrace, as if holding back.
He was going to stop. But he couldn’t. She needed this. He had to…
Only he didn’t have to do anything. This wasn’t her, she told herself firmly. She didn’t attack guys in her kitchen—or anywhere else. The polite course of action seemed to be to step back.
Oh, but she wanted him. Her br**sts ached. Her ni**les were so sensitive, the feel of her bra was nearly agony. Between her legs, she was swollen and hungry. She wanted his big hands to touch her everywhere. She wanted to see him na**d and hard in her bed. She wanted to be filled over and over until she found her release and with it, maybe a little healing.
It took every ounce of self-control, but somehow she managed to drop her hands to her sides and put some room between them. She was aware of her frantic breathing and hoped she didn’t look too desperate. Sexual confidence was attractive. Desperation tended to send a man running.
Finn’s eyes were dark with passion, which was nice. She was tempted to glance down to see if there was physical proof of his feelings, but she couldn’t figure out how to do it without being obvious. Still, there was every chance he’d been offering a polite kiss and she’d gone after him like a sex-starved monkey.
“I, ah, don’t know what to say,” she admitted, not quite meeting his gaze.
“I shouldn’t have done that,” Finn mumbled. “You weren’t… That’s not why you…” He cleared his throat.
She frowned, not sure if he was apologizing or trying to escape. Hope shoved embarrassment out of the way.
“I’m glad that you did that,” she said, telling herself that being brave built character. “You are?”
She forced herself to look at him and found him staring at her. Oh, yeah. That was some serious passion.
“Very glad.”
One eyebrow raised. “Me, too.”
Heat stained her cheeks, but she plunged ahead anyway. “We could do it again.”
“We could. There’s only one problem.”
He was married? He used to be a woman? He was gay?
“I’m not sure I’ll want to stop,” he admitted.
The relief was nearly as good as the kiss had been. Dakota stepped toward him and didn’t stop until her body was plastered against his. Which answered the question about his feelings on the subject.
“That works for me,” she whispered.
She’d planned to say more, to suggest they move to her bedroom, but she didn’t get the chance.
Once again, Finn kissed her. And while it wasn’t as unexpected as the first time, she still found herself swept away.
She surrendered to his strong embrace, wanting to feel his arms around her. She parted her mouth, and he plunged inside, teasing her into passionate frenzy. Even as his mouth claimed hers, his hands were everywhere. He stroked her back, then dropped lower, to her rear. He cupped the curves, squeezing until she instinctively arched forward.
