Ours to Love

Page 37

Xander did that as Javier scooped her up in his arms. He debated the wisdom of moving her in this state. Was this one of the blackouts she’d mentioned the day he’d hired her?
“They’ll be here in a minute.” Xander pocketed his phone. “Do you know what might have caused this? She didn’t eat a lot at breakfast.”
“She told me she has occasional blackouts, but I don’t know the cause. We’ve been strenuous with her today.” And Javier wanted to kick himself for it. “Maybe . . .”
He couldn’t choke out the rest of the words. Dread squeezed his heart as he carried her across the parking lot and into the lobby. A granite bench sat near the water feature, and he set her there. Her pale hair spilled over the edge as he knelt beside her. In the distance, he heard the wail of sirens. Cupping her cheek in his hand, he stared, willing her to open her pretty blue eyes and look at him.
On the other side of the bench, Xander crouched, clutching her hand. “Belleza, we’re here, baby. Come back to us.”
A small crowd had gathered around them, loitering near the elevators. A couple entering the building stopped in their tracks and stared. Javier ignored them. If they weren’t able to help London, they were useless to him.
Turning his body to best block their view, Javier pressed his lips to London’s ear. “Little one, I’m sorry . . .” For pushing her, for overusing her, for making her feel the urge to leave. For everything. Francesca had proven that he was bad with relationships. For London’s sake, he should probably put a safe distance between them and leave her to Xander. Normally, he’d think his brother was far too much of a playboy to be serious about one woman, but everything about Xander’s behavior with London was different. He would be better for her. Lighter. He could still be the Dom she needed, but he came with so much less baggage, so many fewer demands.
If she opened her eyes and recovered, he’d try to do the right thing by London and leave her alone.
Suddenly, a pair of EMTs jogged into the building, and the gawking couple moved out of the way to let them pass, rubbernecking on their way to the elevators.
Javier stood aside and let the two men in uniform near London. Xander stood by his side, watching with grim intent. The EMTs asked them questions about the incident, and it became clear that they were worried she might have a concussion after hitting her head. But neither he nor his brother had any idea what had caused her to pass out in the first place. Exhaustion? Low blood sugar? The mysterious health problems she’d mentioned?
Xander whipped out his phone and scrolled through his contacts for Alyssa. Before he could hit the button to dial her, the EMTs stuck a chunk of smelling salts beneath London’s nose. She came awake with a sputtering cough, her lashes fluttering up and revealing dazed blue eyes. But she was all right. As she pushed upright, and the men assisted her, Javier exhaled in relief.
His brother hovered protectively, listening as they asked questions. She fished a bottle of medication from her purse, and she had a bit more conversation with the medical people. He couldn’t hear because of the low murmur of her voice and the roar of his heart. Whatever she said, Xander’s jaw tightened with anger, but he pocketed his phone and nodded.
As the EMTs packed up and headed for the door, Javier intercepted them. “Is she all right?”
One nodded. “She forgot to take her medicine, but this isn’t the first time she’s blacked out, according to her. I gave her an ice pack for that bump on her head, but otherwise, she’s fine.”
But it wasn’t fine to him. He had too many unanswered questions. Yes, he probably should leave her in Xander’s hands . . . but he couldn’t stop caring.
As the EMTs left, he made his way over to London and Xander. It would hurt to watch them together. But he’d always have work. And vodka. It was probably all he deserved.
His brother took one arm to help her to her feet. Javier took the other. She wobbled, a bit unsteady at first. She blinked and shook her head, as if trying to reestablish her equilibrium. Then she stepped away from them.
“I’m fine. It happens. It’s nothing. I need to go.”
London looked around for the doors, then headed toward them. Xander flashed a stare at him that said he was letting her leave over his dead body. She might not be his, but he agreed with his brother.
“You need to come upstairs and explain,” Javier found himself demanding.
“Right now,” Xander added, blocking her path.
“Taking my virginity doesn’t give you the right to strip me of all privacy and free will,” she hissed.
About that, she was absolutely right, but that answer didn’t set well with him. And Xander, always the lover, not the fighter, looked ready to punch something in frustration.
“It doesn’t,” Javier returned smoothly. “But as your boss, I deserve an explanation about why you intend to walk off the job in the middle of a crisis.”
He was reaching with that argument. And he didn’t care. If it got her to stay so he could understand and watch over her before he turned her back over to Xander, then he could relinquish her with a clear conscience.
London gnawed on her lower lip for a tense moment. “Fine. Ten minutes.”
It was a small victory, and he didn’t dare celebrate it now. “Put that ice on your head.”
She did with a huff as they led her back into the elevator, ushering her into S.I. Industries’ temporary offices again. Javier shut and locked the door behind them, then shepherded Xander to take her to his chair. His brother caught on and dropped her into the thick leather piece, pulling up one of the smaller chairs and getting right in her face. Javier paced around them.
“Are you really all right? You don’t have to be brave,” he said softly.
No matter what happened next, he cared for her and wanted her to know that her well-being meant a great deal to him.
She heaved a huge sigh, and tears started to gloss over her blue eyes. As they pooled then fell down her cheek, a bit of mascara stained just under her eyes. And still she looked so fucking beautiful that his heart wrenched. He had no idea how he’d ever manage to keep his distance once he bowed out and left her to his brother.
“I’m fine,” she insisted. “Look, I didn’t want to vomit out this whole sob story and make you feel sorry for me. I don’t need more pity. I’ve had nothing else for years, and I wanted to see if someone actually could like me for me. Usually when I tell everyone this story, there’s all kinds of sympathy, then people get distant. They hire and date ‘normal’ people. I won’t be surprised when neither of you wants me again.”
She shrugged like it didn’t matter, but Javier could see on her face that it mattered very much. He didn’t want to prove her sad theory right, but he wanted her safe and happy. Xander could give her that.
“Just after school let out for my sophomore year, I was with my friend Amber and her boyfriend, coming back from a day at the beach. While we were there, Amber found Josh under the pier with this other girl from school. They were making out, and Amber got furious. Josh tried to calm her down, but she insisted on leaving. We all got in the car, and she drove like a maniac. She was blasting music so I couldn’t hear the whole argument. It started to rain, and Amber missed a red light. We got hit multiple times by oncoming traffic on the right, which spun the car around and into the path of a school bus that hit us head on after coming down a hill. Amber and Josh were killed instantly. I had what the doctors called a traumatic brain injury.”
She swallowed, as if the rush of anger she’d used to get the story out had washed away, leaving her nothing but pain and a gritty determination to go on. Though stunned, Javier couldn’t ever remember a time he’d wanted to touch her so badly.
“I’m so sorry, belleza,” Xander murmured, gripping her hands. “Go on.”
Her chin trembled as she fought the urge to speak without spilling more tears. “I had a skull fracture, hematoma, and some nerve damage. My jaw, elbow, and femur were all broken. I spent nearly two years in a coma. When I woke, everything had changed. There’d been a war. My parents had aged ten years. I’d missed prom. Graduation was around the corner, and I was going to be left behind. I couldn’t walk or talk. The doctors told me I might not ever do either again. At that point, most of my ‘friends’ had bailed on me. But I kept fighting back. I’ve had three surgeries on my back to repair disk problems. As a result of the head trauma, I sometimes forget things. I can’t drive and I may never be able to because I sometimes black out, like today. I’ll probably never be able to be alone with my own child.” Fresh tears spilled over, along with a whole bunch of anger. “But I refuse to be broken!”
“You’re not, little one,” Javier assured her, managing to speak past his own choked words.
His heart hurt. She’d suffered more than physically. The emotional scars ran deep. She felt defective and unwanted. Yet she’d gathered the courage to march into his office and interview for a job. Despite feeing imperfect, she’d given herself utterly to him and his brother. Her personal courage amazed him. After Francesca’s death, he’d allowed guilt to stab him over and over until he’d nearly lain down and died willingly. London had latched onto her fighting spirit until she’d taught herself to talk and walk, to live and laugh and love again. He was humbled. God, he didn’t deserve her.
“And now you’re both staring at me like I’m a freak.” She lurched to her feet, swiping angrily at her tears. “I’ve got to go. I’m sure you’ll replace me in your office and your bed with someone better.”
Xander stormed after her, but only Javier could reach the doorway in time to block her path. He didn’t deserve her and he might be bad for her, but he’d be damned if he was going to prove her theory that no one could love her right. Because he already did. It was right there in his heart, on the tip of his tongue.
The fact that he loved her bowled him over. Holy fuck, when had that happened? Somewhere between her crisp sassiness during her job interview and seeing her angry tears at fate mingling with her strong will to carry on. But he now understood what he’d never felt for Francesca, this sweet feeling that seemed so potent and abiding. For London, he’d do anything—lie, kill, steal, die—if it made her happy and whole.
He crossed his arms over his chest and stared her down. It hurt him. He wanted to hold her desperately, but she would see it as pity and hate him for it. No matter what it cost him, he had to stay strong for her.
“You’re not leaving. I’m not replacing you in my office or my bed, London. I want you to hear me very clearly. I want you in that chair.” He pointed toward the assistant’s chair in the reception area. “And I want you taking my cock every day and night, again and again. You’re not broken. You’re so beautiful that I sometimes can’t believe my good fortune.”
Over her shoulder, he glanced at Xander, who stalked toward her, then raised a shaking hand to her shoulder and turned her until he stared down into her eyes. His brother met her like a freight train, his body crashing into hers, his arms folding around her in a silent offer of his strength. For a terrible moment, she pushed at him, thrashing about to escape.
“I don’t want your pity,” she hurled at him.
“Good.” Xander grabbed handfuls of her hair and yanked, forcing her head back. “Trust me, it’s not pity I feel. You amaze me.”
“For accomplishing nothing in life?” She screeched.
Her emotions were getting the better of her, and Javier couldn’t stand it another moment. He blanketed her back, sandwiching her in between him and his brother. He braced heavy hands on her shoulders. “You’ve had to come further and fight harder than anyone I know. I could learn from you how to keep putting one foot in front of the other. In a handful of days, you’ve made me think that maybe vodka isn’t the answer; persistence is. Just like you, I’ll have good days and bad days. But I’ll have full days. You refused to rot helplessly in bed. You got up and learned to be productive, got yourself an education, and started on the path to a full life. Until you, I was throwing mine away slowly but surely, down the narrow neck of a bottle of Cîroc.”
London began to turn toward him. Xander released her slowly. She blinked up at him, her wet eyes defiant, as if she dared him to leave her. Even if he wanted to, even if it would be good for her, Javier knew he wouldn’t. Couldn’t. More and more, he began to believe that they all belonged together. He’d never imagined sharing a woman with anyone, much less his brother. He certainly wouldn’t have chosen it long-term.
But in that moment, that’s exactly what he was choosing. His heart had chosen for him.
“I’m not leaving you. Neither is my brother. Trust us.”
Confusion broke across her delicate face. A furrow marred her pale brows as she shook her head. “You can have anyone you want. He has.” She pointed at Xander. “I’m—”