Out of the Shallows
Page 18
“Jake?”
Jake gave me a small smile but shook his head.
I brushed past my dad to prepare his coffee. “I can’t believe you flew all the way over here. I take it Mom knows.”
“Of course she knows. I had to dip into our savings.”
“You didn’t have to do anything.”
“My daughter is in the middle of making two momentous decisions in her life and she wasn’t even in the same country as I was. Of course I needed to do this.”
“If you’re here to talk, Dad, then we’ll talk. But if you’re here to tell me what a giant mistake I’m making without hearing me out, then you might as well leave now.” I shot him a look. “Which would be crap because I haven’t seen you in two months.”
Dad’s eyes softened. “Can I get a hug?”
I nodded, suddenly feeling like a little girl, trying not to cry. Abandoning the coffee, I strode over to him and sank into his tight embrace. No one gave good hug like Jim Redford.
He held on to me longer than usual and I let him because I knew there was a possibility we were about to have a huge falling-out.
When I pulled back, I shot a look over his shoulder at Jake. His eyes were downcast.
“Jake,” I whispered his name without even meaning to, drawing his gaze to me and causing Dad to pull away.
Dad looked at Jake. “You’re not what I want for her. She’s strong and she’s brave. She deserves to be with a man equal to that.”
“Dad—”
“No, Charley, don’t.” Jake cut me off. When he looked into my dad’s face, his expression was unbending and resolute. “I admit I wasn’t that for her when we were younger. But I’m not that guy anymore, Mr. Redford. I don’t like that guy any more than you do, and I’ve not just promised Charley that he’s gone for good, I’ve promised myself.”
“That’s just talk, Jake. I’m only interested in actions.”
Instantly defensive, I stomped back to the coffee. “What do you want him to do? Don a mask and fight crime?”
“Can we do this without your usual smart-ass commentary?” Dad glared at me.
“Nope.” I shoved a mug at him. “Somewhere you and Mom have lost sight of who I am. Just because my parents have decided to rewrite my whole personality doesn’t mean that the rewrites are going to stick.”
“This is nuts.” Dad shook his head, his tone calm despite his words. “You can’t throw away law school for a job that’s dangerous and underpaid. And you can’t erase the months of shit you went through trying to get over him.”
“Let me ask you a question, Dad.” I leaned back against the counter. “Did you honestly think talking to me in person was going to… what… convince me to think your way?”
“No, I came here to see what it is that’s going on in your life that would suddenly cause you to make these massive decisions, decisions that impact your entire future. It’s not just about me worrying about you and Jake; it’s me completely exasperated by your attitude toward your sister and this notion of you becoming a cop. Your recent actions and decisions ring with immaturity and frankly, Charley, that was something I never thought I could accuse you of.”
“That’s because she’s not,” Jake argued.
Dad ignored him. “You’ve got this childish, naïve, rose-colored view that being a cop is a great thing—you wear a uniform people will respect, you save lives, fight crime. And that makes life worth it—”
“Bullshit,” Jake uttered quietly, his features taut with anger.
“Jake…” I moved toward him but Dad reached out an arm to stop me.
“No,” Dad said. “I’d love to hear this.”
“How dare you stand there and condescend to her,” Jake continued, calm, despite the flints of anger in his eyes. “You might think Charley taking me back is a bad idea, but stop letting that color every single thing you know about her. You know her. How can you say she’s living in some fantasy world about being a cop? Do you want to know the real reason she wants to be a cop? Because it’s who she is. She can’t stand by and watch people suffer. She can’t witness something wrong and not want to do something to make it right. What about your nephew—Ethan? Murdered and no one was brought to justice. She knows being a cop isn’t easy, she even knows it can be thankless, but she still wants to do it. For her—for Ethan and all the people like him.”
I couldn’t even find the words to describe how grateful I was. Jake had said all I’d been trying to say for years. I’d failed to find the words to explain it to my parents, but Jake knew me so well, he’d succeeded where I hadn’t.
Dad looked stunned. Slowly, he turned to me. “This is about Ethan? You never told me that.”
“You never wanted to hear it.”
Processing, Dad sipped his coffee. He looked at me over the rim of the mug and lowered it to ask, “Since when do you let Jake fight your battles?”
Grinning, my eyes met Jake’s. “I never asked him to. But I’ve got to say, it’s nice to have him on my side.”
Jake smiled back at me and I felt our connection strengthen for the first time since we’d started dating again.
“Alex certainly would never have faced off with me,” Dad mused, watching Jake carefully. I tensed at the mention of Alex.
Jake frowned. “What?”
Dad’s gaze switched between us, noting the sudden tension. “You haven’t told him yet?” he asked me.
I narrowed my eyes. “Are you deliberately being a troublemaker?”
“Alex?” Jake said.
That was so not a conversation I could have with him right then. “Jake, I promise we’ll talk about it but right now, I’m taking my crazy father to lunch.”
There was uncertainty on his face, but Jake nodded. “Call me.”
“Just as soon as I’ve convinced this person who looks like my dad but doesn’t act like him that I’m a grown-up and I can make my own choices, I’ll come over to see you.”
Dad snorted. I ignored him.
Sitting across from my dad in my favorite Tex-Mex restaurant, I shook my head. “I still can’t believe you spent all that money to come here and lecture me.”
Jake gave me a small smile but shook his head.
I brushed past my dad to prepare his coffee. “I can’t believe you flew all the way over here. I take it Mom knows.”
“Of course she knows. I had to dip into our savings.”
“You didn’t have to do anything.”
“My daughter is in the middle of making two momentous decisions in her life and she wasn’t even in the same country as I was. Of course I needed to do this.”
“If you’re here to talk, Dad, then we’ll talk. But if you’re here to tell me what a giant mistake I’m making without hearing me out, then you might as well leave now.” I shot him a look. “Which would be crap because I haven’t seen you in two months.”
Dad’s eyes softened. “Can I get a hug?”
I nodded, suddenly feeling like a little girl, trying not to cry. Abandoning the coffee, I strode over to him and sank into his tight embrace. No one gave good hug like Jim Redford.
He held on to me longer than usual and I let him because I knew there was a possibility we were about to have a huge falling-out.
When I pulled back, I shot a look over his shoulder at Jake. His eyes were downcast.
“Jake,” I whispered his name without even meaning to, drawing his gaze to me and causing Dad to pull away.
Dad looked at Jake. “You’re not what I want for her. She’s strong and she’s brave. She deserves to be with a man equal to that.”
“Dad—”
“No, Charley, don’t.” Jake cut me off. When he looked into my dad’s face, his expression was unbending and resolute. “I admit I wasn’t that for her when we were younger. But I’m not that guy anymore, Mr. Redford. I don’t like that guy any more than you do, and I’ve not just promised Charley that he’s gone for good, I’ve promised myself.”
“That’s just talk, Jake. I’m only interested in actions.”
Instantly defensive, I stomped back to the coffee. “What do you want him to do? Don a mask and fight crime?”
“Can we do this without your usual smart-ass commentary?” Dad glared at me.
“Nope.” I shoved a mug at him. “Somewhere you and Mom have lost sight of who I am. Just because my parents have decided to rewrite my whole personality doesn’t mean that the rewrites are going to stick.”
“This is nuts.” Dad shook his head, his tone calm despite his words. “You can’t throw away law school for a job that’s dangerous and underpaid. And you can’t erase the months of shit you went through trying to get over him.”
“Let me ask you a question, Dad.” I leaned back against the counter. “Did you honestly think talking to me in person was going to… what… convince me to think your way?”
“No, I came here to see what it is that’s going on in your life that would suddenly cause you to make these massive decisions, decisions that impact your entire future. It’s not just about me worrying about you and Jake; it’s me completely exasperated by your attitude toward your sister and this notion of you becoming a cop. Your recent actions and decisions ring with immaturity and frankly, Charley, that was something I never thought I could accuse you of.”
“That’s because she’s not,” Jake argued.
Dad ignored him. “You’ve got this childish, naïve, rose-colored view that being a cop is a great thing—you wear a uniform people will respect, you save lives, fight crime. And that makes life worth it—”
“Bullshit,” Jake uttered quietly, his features taut with anger.
“Jake…” I moved toward him but Dad reached out an arm to stop me.
“No,” Dad said. “I’d love to hear this.”
“How dare you stand there and condescend to her,” Jake continued, calm, despite the flints of anger in his eyes. “You might think Charley taking me back is a bad idea, but stop letting that color every single thing you know about her. You know her. How can you say she’s living in some fantasy world about being a cop? Do you want to know the real reason she wants to be a cop? Because it’s who she is. She can’t stand by and watch people suffer. She can’t witness something wrong and not want to do something to make it right. What about your nephew—Ethan? Murdered and no one was brought to justice. She knows being a cop isn’t easy, she even knows it can be thankless, but she still wants to do it. For her—for Ethan and all the people like him.”
I couldn’t even find the words to describe how grateful I was. Jake had said all I’d been trying to say for years. I’d failed to find the words to explain it to my parents, but Jake knew me so well, he’d succeeded where I hadn’t.
Dad looked stunned. Slowly, he turned to me. “This is about Ethan? You never told me that.”
“You never wanted to hear it.”
Processing, Dad sipped his coffee. He looked at me over the rim of the mug and lowered it to ask, “Since when do you let Jake fight your battles?”
Grinning, my eyes met Jake’s. “I never asked him to. But I’ve got to say, it’s nice to have him on my side.”
Jake smiled back at me and I felt our connection strengthen for the first time since we’d started dating again.
“Alex certainly would never have faced off with me,” Dad mused, watching Jake carefully. I tensed at the mention of Alex.
Jake frowned. “What?”
Dad’s gaze switched between us, noting the sudden tension. “You haven’t told him yet?” he asked me.
I narrowed my eyes. “Are you deliberately being a troublemaker?”
“Alex?” Jake said.
That was so not a conversation I could have with him right then. “Jake, I promise we’ll talk about it but right now, I’m taking my crazy father to lunch.”
There was uncertainty on his face, but Jake nodded. “Call me.”
“Just as soon as I’ve convinced this person who looks like my dad but doesn’t act like him that I’m a grown-up and I can make my own choices, I’ll come over to see you.”
Dad snorted. I ignored him.
Sitting across from my dad in my favorite Tex-Mex restaurant, I shook my head. “I still can’t believe you spent all that money to come here and lecture me.”
