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Letting her head hang, all she could do was think what a freaking mess she had gotten herself into.
And not even Ben & Jerry’s could get her out of this.
Jordie was a confident man.
But even he was nervous that Kacey wouldn’t show up.
There was something about the way she’d said, “We’ll see” that kept him up most of the night. The following morning, all he could do was think over and over again about what he was going to do if she didn’t show up. He tried not to think about it, but it wasn’t working. As he spat his toothpaste out into the sink, he glanced over at her door. It was shut, and he wondered if she was taking a nap.
When he got home with Karson after training, she was on her way into her room and he hadn’t seen or heard from her since. All through training she didn’t even look at him. Not that that was a new occurrence, but he thought after the kiss they’d shared she would have been a little warmer to him.
No luck.
He was sure she made him work even harder just because she was mad or whatever she was. He wasn’t sure, but he was ready to get his AA meeting over with so he could rush to their favorite Mexican restaurant and find out his fate. It was honestly killing him, not knowing what she was thinking. In the past, she’d be putty in his hands, and he knew he didn’t deserve that now. But surely, after everything he’d said last night, she’d see that he meant business. That he wasn’t playing around. But maybe not.
Maybe she hadn’t seen the change, which meant he had to work a lot harder. He wasn’t doing something right. Or maybe he had broken her heart so badly, she wanted nothing to do with him. He knew it was a possibility, but one he really hoped hadn’t happened. Running his hands through his hair, he looked at his reflection and nodded.
“She’ll be there. She loves you.”
He felt stupid saying that out loud, but he thought maybe it would help him believe it.
It didn’t.
Letting out a long breath, he shook his head and left the bathroom, despite the temptation to knock on her door and ask. He’d leave it to God, as Elli would tell him to do. He believed she was it, but maybe she wasn’t. But then, that wasn’t an option. He needed her to show up, or he was going to lose his shit. He had lived too long in a life that he did not love; he was ready to love his life and her.
Shutting his door, he looked toward Mena’s door as he always did and saw that Karson was in there rocking her to sleep. He nodded his head at Jordie and Jordie nodded back before turning to head to the kitchen for a snack before he left. He really didn’t like the stale cookies and coffee they served at AA. He wished he would have called Shea or Elli to go, but he figured he’d try to go alone. He’d have to do it sooner or later.
When he got into the living room, he noticed that Karl and Regina were outside, enjoying the sunshine and had a big bowl of something that look delicious. Deciding he’d spend some time with them and see if they’d share their food, he made his way toward the door, but he paused when he heard Kacey’s voice.
“I just don’t know what to do,” she said, and then he heard the chair pull out. “I mean, I have to tell Liam no, I’m not going. I don’t love him.”
“Right,” Lacey agreed. “There was no hope there.”
“Exactly, but it’s just so frustrating, you know? I mean, I tried so hard, but nothing.”
“I know, but I think you did that to get someone else out of your mind,” Lacey said and Kacey let out a long breath.
“With him, I never have to try,” Kacey whispered and Jordie smiled.
“Which means something,” Lacey sang and Kacey groaned.
“Ugh, Lacey, he kissed me last night.”
“What!?” Lacey hollered and Kacey quickly shushed her. Leaning against the wall, Jordie knew he was wrong for listening, but he had to know what she was saying. What she was thinking? Scooting along the wall so he could hear better, he knocked into one of Mena’s toys and closed his eyes in response.
“What was that?”
Shit! He was caught.
When neither of them started yelling at him, he opened his eyes as Lacey said, “Probably Karson playing with Mena. Now, focus! What do you mean he kissed you, and why are you just now telling me?”
“I didn’t plan it, or even want it—okay, that’s a lie—but he just did it and said all this stuff about wanting to love me. It was weird but perfect at the same time. I just don’t know what to think.”
“Maybe that he’s telling the truth?” she asked. “I told you he changed.”
He’d always loved Lacey. Since the moment he met her, he’d known she was a good gal, and after this, he was going to buy her whatever she wanted.
“Lacey, come on, people don’t change.”
“Yes, they do, if they really want to. I swear to you, Kacey, he isn’t the same guy he was a year ago.”
Wasn’t that the damn truth?
“I don’t know, he just hurt me so bad. Broke me in two. Yes, I know that’s dramatic and very high school, but really. I’m haunted by it all. I mean, it took everything within me to pick myself up. Especially after the baby. That really gutted me.”
“I know, Kacey, but everyone deserves a second chance, don’t you think?”
“Yes, I do. But how can I trust him? I’ve forgiven him, but how do I forget?”
Jordie looked down, guilt drowning him as Lacey asked, “I don’t know, but can you live with yourself if you don’t give him the chance to at least explain himself? No one said anything about taking him back—though I vote yes. I know how you feel about him, but maybe just hear him out.”