Paranormalcy
Chapter Thirty-Seven
SOUL SUCK
What could I possibly say to Vivian, standing here in Lend's kitchen? I was terrified. And not just for myself, but for Lend and everyone here. I'd brought Vivian right to them. I had to get her out, away from the people I loved. “I--You're here.” My brain felt as frozen as my body. I watched her burn, golden and bright.
“Yeah, stupid. I would have gotten here a lot sooner if you had just told me where you were.” It was so weird talking to her now that I couldn't see her features. I had to go by the tone of her voice. She seemed happy.
“Umm, sorry about that. I guess a faerie was blocking you.” I had to get her to leave with me. I didn't know what Lend would do now, but we couldn't be in this house much longer. “So, what do you say we go?”
She laughed. “Why? I've always wanted to drain a faerie. Plus, hey, I can show you how!” She knelt down next to Fehl. “I wonder how long she'll be out. Well, forever now.” She put out a burning hand, placing it on the faerie's chest. “I always hated her. Her voice was like--I don't know--like breaking glass.”
I shook my head. “We should go. Right now! I mean, other faeries know where we are, right? Let's leave.”
“Chill, Evie.” She turned her face up to me and I could barely make out her eyes above the liquid flames. “We don't need to worry about the faeries anymore, not now that we're together.” She looked back down at Fehl. “Man, she just keeps going and going. If I had known faeries had this much to offer, wow. It's--Come on, I want you to feel this with me. You're going to love it. There's nothing better, not in this whole sucky world.”
“Please stop,” I said, half sobbing. I couldn't help it. As much as I didn't like Fehl, I couldn't stand there, watching her soul being sucked away.
“Why?”
“Because--you don't need to!”
Vivian shook her head, standing up. “You don't get it.”
“No, I do! But, look, you said I'm getting brighter, right?”
She nodded. “Killer dress, by the way.”
“I haven't taken any! I don't even know how. So there's another way, there's got to be, right?”
“No, there isn't. I already told you. We don't have our own souls. I'm not going to stop, not now that I found you. Do you know how long I've been waiting? Do you? Fifty years, that's how long.”
I was shocked. She didn't look older than twenty. “You're not--How?”
“Because of this.” She held out her flaming hands. “How do you think? I would have burned out before I even hit adulthood. So tell me, Evelyn, do you want to die?”
“No, I don't, but I don't want to take other souls just to live!”
“You don't have any choice!” Her voice changed, went softer. “What about your boyfriend? The one made of water? You've noticed his soul, right? That light he carries around with him? It was bright. Do you know what that means?”
I shook my head. I didn't want her to talk about Lend, to notice him. He had to stay safe.
“That means he isn't going to die. Did you ever think about that? Your little boyfriend will last forever, and you're going to snuff out like a stubby little candle. So, you still too good for this?”
Lend was immortal. My heart broke in that moment, remembering the way David looked at Cresseda, that sorrow, that separation. Would that be my role? Left behind? Or would I be dead, like Vivian said?
“Listen to me. This faerie? Do you know how many people she killed before IPCA started controlling her? Men, women, children. And for no reason. She thinks it's funny. So you tell me how much she deserves that soul. Tell me why any of these things deserve what they have. And even the ones you think are innocent--why should they be forced to stay here? It's wrong. I'm saving them, and I'm protecting the world from the ones like her.”
I closed my eyes. I used to think I was protecting the world, too. But it wasn't that simple. Nothing was. Who were we to decide that anyone or anything didn't deserve the spark of life they had been given? “That makes us just as bad as the faeries.”
She slapped me. I stumbled, falling against the counter and putting my hand to my cheek. It burned.
“I'm nothing like them!” She grabbed my hand, pulling me to where Fehl was lying on the ground, but the faerie was gone. Vivian swore loudly, standing up and looking around. “Look what you did! I wasn't done with her. Now who will I show you on?”
Just then another door lit up. Reth stormed through, looking like he was ready to bring the house down on all of us.
Vivian laughed. “Perfect timing.”
Reth looked at me, giving Vivian time to pick up the skillet. She swung it at the back of his head, knocking him down. He tried to stand but she pushed the skillet flat against his chest.
“Don't know why it works, but so glad it does,” she said. “Come on, Evie. You can't tell me this faerie--after everything he did to you, how he lied and manipulated and used you--you can't tell me he deserves to live forever. Think of how many more girls he'll take, how many more he'll hurt.”
I shook my head, tears in my eyes. I didn't know which one of them I was more scared of. Reth's amber eyes blazed with fury. I was sure that if the iron hadn't been blocking him, Vivian would be dead. If she could die with the amount of energy she had flowing through her. And then I realized--there was nothing I could do to stop her. If I fought her, she'd lose her temper and kill me. Everyone I cared about would die, too, and we'd all be trapped forever, swirling around in her sad, empty black hole of a body, just like Lish. I couldn't fight her. Reth was right; I wouldn't survive.
Kneeling, I shook my head in defeat. “Show me how.”
She laughed. “It's about time!”
“Do I just touch him?”
“No, it's not that simple. Otherwise you'd drain everyone you ever touched. Put your hand there--right over his heart. That's where the soul is centered. Then you have to want it. You have to know it should be yours and want it and call for it. It'll hear you, because that's what we're made for. We're the Empty Ones, and the souls want to come to us. That's why we can see everything, why we can see past the glamours. And once you have more, you can see straight through to souls.” She put her free hand on my arm, and I could hear the happiness in her voice. “It's beautiful, Evie, and they'll all be ours. Together.”
Nodding, I put my hand on Reth's chest. His achingly lovely face had gone calm, and he regarded me with placid eyes.
“You've got to want it,” Vivian said eagerly. “Take it.”
And then I knew. I knew what I wanted. “Hey, Viv,” I said, trying not to cry as I turned to look at her. I could feel her joy at finally connecting with someone. “I'm sorry you were alone for so long. And I'm sorry. So sorry.”
I shoved my palm against her chest. She was so hot it burned. I could feel her searing my flesh, but I didn't move, closing my eyes and, for the first time, opening myself up, inviting the souls in.
Nothing happened.
Vivian ripped my hand away from her chest and threw me across the room. I slammed into the wall, pain blossoming through my whole body. “Why'd you do that? Do you want me to kill you? Because I will! I don't need your pity, you pathetic little thing. Do you know what I am? I'm a god, Evie. I am death, and I am life, and I can't believe I wanted to share this with you. The faeries were right.” She shook her head as she crossed the room and stood over me, bright and terrible. “There's no point in keeping you around.” She pulled me up by my hair, forcing my face right next to hers. I could feel my skin turning red from the heat, the stench of burning hair stinging my nose. Her voice lowered, softened. “I should have known you wouldn't understand, you wouldn't really want it. But don't worry. I'll add what little soul you've managed to scrape together to my collection. That way we really can be together forever.”
She put her hand over my heart.
I held my breath, clutching at the last precious seconds of my life. How would death feel? Her hand was hot, burning. But that was it--my life didn't rush out of me.
Her shoulders started shaking and I realized why it wasn't working. “You have to want it,” I whispered. Vivian didn't want to kill me. Lifting my own hand, I put it gently over her heart. I understood now--I wanted it. I wanted those souls, wanted to free them from her. “Let go, Viv.”
I gasped, stiffening as the heat burst through her skin, racing like an electric current through my entire body. I was flooded with it, overwhelmed. Nothing existed but me and the fire spreading to every cell.
Vivian dimmed, all her fire draining. Her features became clearer, the flames dwindling until they were only in her heart and behind her eyes. Just a little more, I knew, just a little more and she'd be gone. And then I felt her. Felt Vivian, her own soul. It was such a tiny, broken thing, and I longed to take it, give it haven in myself. I nearly did, until I saw her eyes. They had gone cold--so cold, and blank.
I ripped my hand away and Vivian fell to the ground. I thought I could still see a spark, the very faintest hint of a soul.
And then I didn't care.
With the fire coursing through me everything was removed, like I was seeing the world as it truly was--nothing but a passing dream, dark and cold and dead. I was eternal and nothing in this existence, nothing in this normal life I had craved so much, mattered at all.
“It's about time,” Reth said, leaning casually against the counter.
What could I possibly say to Vivian, standing here in Lend's kitchen? I was terrified. And not just for myself, but for Lend and everyone here. I'd brought Vivian right to them. I had to get her out, away from the people I loved. “I--You're here.” My brain felt as frozen as my body. I watched her burn, golden and bright.
“Yeah, stupid. I would have gotten here a lot sooner if you had just told me where you were.” It was so weird talking to her now that I couldn't see her features. I had to go by the tone of her voice. She seemed happy.
“Umm, sorry about that. I guess a faerie was blocking you.” I had to get her to leave with me. I didn't know what Lend would do now, but we couldn't be in this house much longer. “So, what do you say we go?”
She laughed. “Why? I've always wanted to drain a faerie. Plus, hey, I can show you how!” She knelt down next to Fehl. “I wonder how long she'll be out. Well, forever now.” She put out a burning hand, placing it on the faerie's chest. “I always hated her. Her voice was like--I don't know--like breaking glass.”
I shook my head. “We should go. Right now! I mean, other faeries know where we are, right? Let's leave.”
“Chill, Evie.” She turned her face up to me and I could barely make out her eyes above the liquid flames. “We don't need to worry about the faeries anymore, not now that we're together.” She looked back down at Fehl. “Man, she just keeps going and going. If I had known faeries had this much to offer, wow. It's--Come on, I want you to feel this with me. You're going to love it. There's nothing better, not in this whole sucky world.”
“Please stop,” I said, half sobbing. I couldn't help it. As much as I didn't like Fehl, I couldn't stand there, watching her soul being sucked away.
“Why?”
“Because--you don't need to!”
Vivian shook her head, standing up. “You don't get it.”
“No, I do! But, look, you said I'm getting brighter, right?”
She nodded. “Killer dress, by the way.”
“I haven't taken any! I don't even know how. So there's another way, there's got to be, right?”
“No, there isn't. I already told you. We don't have our own souls. I'm not going to stop, not now that I found you. Do you know how long I've been waiting? Do you? Fifty years, that's how long.”
I was shocked. She didn't look older than twenty. “You're not--How?”
“Because of this.” She held out her flaming hands. “How do you think? I would have burned out before I even hit adulthood. So tell me, Evelyn, do you want to die?”
“No, I don't, but I don't want to take other souls just to live!”
“You don't have any choice!” Her voice changed, went softer. “What about your boyfriend? The one made of water? You've noticed his soul, right? That light he carries around with him? It was bright. Do you know what that means?”
I shook my head. I didn't want her to talk about Lend, to notice him. He had to stay safe.
“That means he isn't going to die. Did you ever think about that? Your little boyfriend will last forever, and you're going to snuff out like a stubby little candle. So, you still too good for this?”
Lend was immortal. My heart broke in that moment, remembering the way David looked at Cresseda, that sorrow, that separation. Would that be my role? Left behind? Or would I be dead, like Vivian said?
“Listen to me. This faerie? Do you know how many people she killed before IPCA started controlling her? Men, women, children. And for no reason. She thinks it's funny. So you tell me how much she deserves that soul. Tell me why any of these things deserve what they have. And even the ones you think are innocent--why should they be forced to stay here? It's wrong. I'm saving them, and I'm protecting the world from the ones like her.”
I closed my eyes. I used to think I was protecting the world, too. But it wasn't that simple. Nothing was. Who were we to decide that anyone or anything didn't deserve the spark of life they had been given? “That makes us just as bad as the faeries.”
She slapped me. I stumbled, falling against the counter and putting my hand to my cheek. It burned.
“I'm nothing like them!” She grabbed my hand, pulling me to where Fehl was lying on the ground, but the faerie was gone. Vivian swore loudly, standing up and looking around. “Look what you did! I wasn't done with her. Now who will I show you on?”
Just then another door lit up. Reth stormed through, looking like he was ready to bring the house down on all of us.
Vivian laughed. “Perfect timing.”
Reth looked at me, giving Vivian time to pick up the skillet. She swung it at the back of his head, knocking him down. He tried to stand but she pushed the skillet flat against his chest.
“Don't know why it works, but so glad it does,” she said. “Come on, Evie. You can't tell me this faerie--after everything he did to you, how he lied and manipulated and used you--you can't tell me he deserves to live forever. Think of how many more girls he'll take, how many more he'll hurt.”
I shook my head, tears in my eyes. I didn't know which one of them I was more scared of. Reth's amber eyes blazed with fury. I was sure that if the iron hadn't been blocking him, Vivian would be dead. If she could die with the amount of energy she had flowing through her. And then I realized--there was nothing I could do to stop her. If I fought her, she'd lose her temper and kill me. Everyone I cared about would die, too, and we'd all be trapped forever, swirling around in her sad, empty black hole of a body, just like Lish. I couldn't fight her. Reth was right; I wouldn't survive.
Kneeling, I shook my head in defeat. “Show me how.”
She laughed. “It's about time!”
“Do I just touch him?”
“No, it's not that simple. Otherwise you'd drain everyone you ever touched. Put your hand there--right over his heart. That's where the soul is centered. Then you have to want it. You have to know it should be yours and want it and call for it. It'll hear you, because that's what we're made for. We're the Empty Ones, and the souls want to come to us. That's why we can see everything, why we can see past the glamours. And once you have more, you can see straight through to souls.” She put her free hand on my arm, and I could hear the happiness in her voice. “It's beautiful, Evie, and they'll all be ours. Together.”
Nodding, I put my hand on Reth's chest. His achingly lovely face had gone calm, and he regarded me with placid eyes.
“You've got to want it,” Vivian said eagerly. “Take it.”
And then I knew. I knew what I wanted. “Hey, Viv,” I said, trying not to cry as I turned to look at her. I could feel her joy at finally connecting with someone. “I'm sorry you were alone for so long. And I'm sorry. So sorry.”
I shoved my palm against her chest. She was so hot it burned. I could feel her searing my flesh, but I didn't move, closing my eyes and, for the first time, opening myself up, inviting the souls in.
Nothing happened.
Vivian ripped my hand away from her chest and threw me across the room. I slammed into the wall, pain blossoming through my whole body. “Why'd you do that? Do you want me to kill you? Because I will! I don't need your pity, you pathetic little thing. Do you know what I am? I'm a god, Evie. I am death, and I am life, and I can't believe I wanted to share this with you. The faeries were right.” She shook her head as she crossed the room and stood over me, bright and terrible. “There's no point in keeping you around.” She pulled me up by my hair, forcing my face right next to hers. I could feel my skin turning red from the heat, the stench of burning hair stinging my nose. Her voice lowered, softened. “I should have known you wouldn't understand, you wouldn't really want it. But don't worry. I'll add what little soul you've managed to scrape together to my collection. That way we really can be together forever.”
She put her hand over my heart.
I held my breath, clutching at the last precious seconds of my life. How would death feel? Her hand was hot, burning. But that was it--my life didn't rush out of me.
Her shoulders started shaking and I realized why it wasn't working. “You have to want it,” I whispered. Vivian didn't want to kill me. Lifting my own hand, I put it gently over her heart. I understood now--I wanted it. I wanted those souls, wanted to free them from her. “Let go, Viv.”
I gasped, stiffening as the heat burst through her skin, racing like an electric current through my entire body. I was flooded with it, overwhelmed. Nothing existed but me and the fire spreading to every cell.
Vivian dimmed, all her fire draining. Her features became clearer, the flames dwindling until they were only in her heart and behind her eyes. Just a little more, I knew, just a little more and she'd be gone. And then I felt her. Felt Vivian, her own soul. It was such a tiny, broken thing, and I longed to take it, give it haven in myself. I nearly did, until I saw her eyes. They had gone cold--so cold, and blank.
I ripped my hand away and Vivian fell to the ground. I thought I could still see a spark, the very faintest hint of a soul.
And then I didn't care.
With the fire coursing through me everything was removed, like I was seeing the world as it truly was--nothing but a passing dream, dark and cold and dead. I was eternal and nothing in this existence, nothing in this normal life I had craved so much, mattered at all.
“It's about time,” Reth said, leaning casually against the counter.
