Perfect Lie
Page 18
“Oh, I don’t really feel like going.” I shook my head and didn’t turn around to look at her.
“Don’t be such a pu**y, Lie.” After a moment she sighed. “Boy trouble?”
I nodded but didn’t elaborate, and she left me alone and returned to the living room.
I headed to the kitchen and grabbed a soda. When I turned around, Abel was behind me, his hands shoved into his pockets.
“You really not going?”
“I don’t want to go where I’m not wanted.” I stepped around him, but he grabbed my arm, and we stood side by side.
“Who said you’re not wanted?”he said quietly into my ear, and I immediately was taken back to our private moment on the couch. I chanced a glance at his eyes, and my chest tightened.
“I’m sorry about what I said.”
He stood upright and released my arm, his snarky persona back with a flash. “Trish wouldn’t say no to a party.”
Hot and cold. Those were the two temperatures of Abel. There was no inbetween. I felt like a complete ass as he left me standing in the kitchen alone, my apology still hanging, unaccepted, in the air.
“Is she coming?” Trish asked, as I stepped into the hallway.
“She’ll come,” Abel replied, as she squealed and wrapped her arms around his neck. I slipped into my room and dug out my navyblue tank top and cutoff shorts. I planned to at least be comfortable if I was going to spend the night feeling miserable.
We took Abel’s car, and he didn’t hesitate to motion me into the backseat between Dumb and Dumber. Trish pushed herself against Abel’s side, and his arm hung around her, his fingertips in front of my face as they drew small circles on her bare shoulder. Sean leaned forward so he could talk to Adam around me, and I pressed myself into the back of the seat to stay out of their conversation. Every once in a while, Abel chimed in or nodded as they talked about everything from sports to drugs.
The song “Brown Eyed Girl” came on the radio, and Abel turned it up. I saw him smirk, but he didn’t look back at me while it played. It reminded me of my mother and what I’d told him she’d said about my eyes. It was a dig, and one I deserved, but it still hurt. I didn’t belong here, and we both knew it.
We pulled up outside the frat house, and it was complete chaos. People were everywhere, and the anarchy didn’t stop on the lawn. The entire house was walltowall bodies. Trish beelined to the kitchen to get us some drinks. Abel poured shots for each of us and warned us not to take drinks from anyone but him. I rolled my eyes and was met with a glare as he held my cup inches from my hand.
“I get it,” I snapped, and he finally handed me my drink. I gulped it down greedily and held it back to him for a refill. I tried to ignore the nagging memory of Brock’s sister, Laurie, who’d been drugged at a similar party. I didn’t need to be told about the consequences of trusting strangers. Brock had learned the hard way when his sister had died, and the butterfly effect from that event had destroyed my own life. Abel was about a year too late to save me.
“That’s my girl!” Trish hollered as Abel poured. He tipped the bottle to his lips and took a long drink. His free hand rubbed up and down her back.
“Come on.” Trish grabbed my wrist. “Let’s go find you some guy and make that ass**le of yours regret breaking your heart.”
I looked at Abel as I replied while Trish pulled me away. “I’m a big girl. I’ll get over it,” I said, echoing his words from the night before. His jaw clenched, and the muscles jumped and pulled under his tanned skin.
“That’s the f**king spirit. Tell me which one you think is cute because it’s like a buffet up in this bitch.”
I glanced around the room. “Which ones haven’t you slept with?” I asked, as I raised an eyebrow.
Trish playfully smacked my arm. “We may have to go to a different college for that,” she joked, and I began to relax as my veins warmed from the alcohol.
“That guy’s cute.” I gestured with my chin to a guy who was leaning over a coffee table, rolling dice.
“He’s a douche. Stay away from him,” Abel said into my ear from behind me. His body was pressed against mine for a moment before he stepped around me and handed Trish a cup.
“Funny coming from you, Pot. Most guys are douches. Some are just easier to tolerate.” I laughed, and Trish joined in, but Abel was less than amused.
“How would you even know? Oh…that’s right. You’re a badass. How could I forget?”
Ouch.We were back to the jokes that I was a virgin. Fucking awesome. I took the cup from Trish’s hand and drank down some liquid courage before handing it back to her. “Only one way to find out,” I said with a wink, as Trish grinned widely.
I walked over to the coffee table and watched for a moment as the guys took turns rolling the dice and yelled each time they stopped.
“Looks fun,” I hollered over the music, and the hot guy looked up and nodded. His eyes traveled down my body and back up with a smile.
“Want to play?” His dark hair hung over his eyes, but he kept it swept to the side. His arms were thick and muscular, and I imagined he was a football player or something equally as physical.
“I think I’ll just watch for a bit.”
“You want a drink or something?” he asked.
I knew better. I knew Brock would be absolutely livid. But he wasn’t here. He broke his promise of forever. I glanced over my shoulder at Trish, avoiding Abel as I looked back to mystery guy and nodded.
“I’m Delilah.”
“Hey, there, Delilah.” He laughed as he sang the song title, and I fought against rolling my eyes. He was kind of a douche. “I’m James.”
“Nice to meet you.”
“I’ll go grab that drink. Wait here.”
“OK,” I whispered, as he set off toward the kitchen, and I was left awkwardly watching a bunch of drunken strangers play dice. Trish dragged Abel over, and her eyes were lit up like she had just spotted some unattended drugs.
“So?” she asked.
“He seems nice.” I nodded. “He went to get me a drink.”
“He’s a gentleman!” she squealed.
“You’ve got to be f**king kidding me.” Abel glared down at me.
“What?” Trish and I asked in unison.
“You’re going to let some strange guy pour your drink?”
“He’s not strange. He’s nice,” I replied defensively. I knew I was being stupid, but I was tired of everyone telling me what was best for me.
“Every guy is nice when he’s trying to f**k you,” Abel sneered. My smile fell, and I felt everyone turn to listen to our conversation. “God, you’re like a f**king child. Do I really need to babysit you again?”
James appeared at my side as he looked back and forth between Abel and me with a plastic cup in his hand. “You all right?” he asked, and Abel took the cup from him and placed it on the coffee table.
“She’s fine. This conversation doesn’t concern you.”
“I was asking Delilah.” James didn’t back down from Abel’s menacing tone, but he didn’t look at him either. He kept his eyes locked on mine for an answer.
“You all right, Delilah?” Abel said my name as if it were a curse word, and I flinched, feeling like I’d been physically hit. “Tell you what.” He turned to look at James as he picked up the cup. “Why don’t you drink this, James?”
“I got my own, man. What’s your f**king problem?”
Abel’s eyes met mine, a faint smile on his lips, as if he had proven his point. “What’s my problem?” He repeated the words as his eyes searched mine.
“I’m fine. I have to go. You’re welcome to join me, James.” I looked at Trish, who seemed completely confused, then up to Abel, who was ready for a fight. I shoved past him and worked my way toward the front door with James trailing behind me. I was out in the warm night air before the sadness rose, and I wished I hadn’t told James to follow me.
“What the hell was that?” he asked, as he pointed over his shoulder to the house.
“Just a…misunderstanding.” I shook my head as I ran my hand over my forehead. “Can you take me home?”
“Of course.” He smirked, and my stomach turned.
James pulled a set of keys from his pocket and hit a button on the key chain. A car across the street beeped, and the lights flashed, signaling it was now unlocked.
I crossed the street and didn’t give a second thought to slipping into the passenger seat. Abel appeared on the porch of the house, and when he saw us, he ran across the road.
“I just want to go to my place,” I told James, who still had his door open. “Alone.”
“Oh, come on, baby. The night is young.”
“Get out of the f**king car, Lie.” Abel was next to James’s door, his jaw clenched in anger.
“She wants to go home with me, bro. Better luck next time,” James shot back, but Abel ignored him, glancing around his side to see my face.
“Is this really what you want?” Abel asked, and I glanced at James. I sat back in my seat and turned to look out the front window.
“Take me home, James.”
“Don’t worry, man. I’ll call you later.” James closed the door, and his comment didn’t make any sense. I turned to him, confusion written on my face as he flipped through his keys.
“What do you mean ‘call him later’? You know him?”
James laughed and shook his head as he stuck the key in the ignition. “Everyone knows Abel.”
It dawned on me that James probably was referring to buying drugs from him, and I’d wished I hadn’t been so f**king stubborn and had listened for once. As the headlights came on and illuminated Abel, my eyes were drawn to the shiny metal object in his right hand.
“Fuck. Who are you to him?” James asked nervously. I glanced at him, unable to form words as his door was pulled open and he was ripped from his seat. Abel shoved him against the frame of the door, the gun pressed into the underside of his chin.
“I’m only going to say this once. If you ever come near Delilah again, I’ll make the beating you took over Becca look like a f**king birthday party.”
The memories of my past flooded my mind, leaving me paralyzed in fear.
“I won’t come near her, man. Fuck.” James raised his hands in surrender, and Abel gripped the collar of his shirt. Abel shoved him hard against the car and rounded the car to my side. He yanked open my door and held out his hand to me.
“Let’s go, Kettle. I’m not asking you this time.”
My gaze fell to the gun in his hand, and I couldn’t breathe. My lungs felt like they were being squeezed in my chest. Abel’s eyes followed mine, and he tucked the gun into the front of his jeans.
“I’m not going to hurt you, Lie. You can trust me,” he said, as he pulled his shirt over the weapon, hiding it from view.
“I’m not going to make that mistake twice.” I cowered away from him, and he took a step back as he ran his hand over his hair.
“I couldn’t let you leave with him. You don’t know what kind of person he is.”
“But you do, don’t you?” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Because you’re just like him.” I glanced up in time to see his expression soften, replaced by regret.
“I was trying to protect you.”
“Let me save you the trouble of history repeating itself. I’m not worth it.” I stood, and he took a step back, looking as confused as I felt. I started to walk toward my apartment, no longer caring what might be lurking in the shadows.
I was two blocks away from the party when my phone rang. I ignored it and kept walking as fast as I could. Two blocks farther, and my phone had rung no less than three times and vibrated half a dozen. I crossed the street and dipped down an alley just to be sure that if anyone came looking for me, they wouldn’t find me. I needed some time to myself as I sank into my memories.
Going back to school after I had run away only seemed to amplify my loser status. I didn’t fit in with anyone, and I gave up trying.
I skipped school on most days, but the hunger pains began to outweigh the sadness, and I was forced to show my face just so I could have lunch. I sat in the far corner of the cafeteria with the other kids who were deemed too uncool to be seen with.
I took a bite of my Mexican pizza and dropped it onto my tray, careful not to look up from the table. Making eye contact with any of the other students was an invitation to start trouble in their eyes. Today I didn’t need to, though, because they sought me out.
“Do you try to look hideous on purpose, or were you born that ugly?” Shelly said, as she stood on the opposite side of the table. I didn’t look up, and she grew more frustrated with my lack of a response. “I asked you a question, freak.”
I wiped the crumbs from my hands and took a deep breath as I finally met her glare. She pushed her long blond hair over her shoulder and smirked.
“What’s your problem with me?” My voice was shaky, and I cleared my throat.
“My problem? I have to look at your stupid face every day. How am I supposed to keep my lunch down with your stupid face right here?”
I felt everyone’s eyes on me as Shelly’s voice grew louder. If I didn’t leave now, I’d cry, and that would give them more ammunition. I pushed myself up from my seat and grabbed my tray. “I’m done now,” I told her, “so you can go back to eating.”
“Don’t be such a pu**y, Lie.” After a moment she sighed. “Boy trouble?”
I nodded but didn’t elaborate, and she left me alone and returned to the living room.
I headed to the kitchen and grabbed a soda. When I turned around, Abel was behind me, his hands shoved into his pockets.
“You really not going?”
“I don’t want to go where I’m not wanted.” I stepped around him, but he grabbed my arm, and we stood side by side.
“Who said you’re not wanted?”he said quietly into my ear, and I immediately was taken back to our private moment on the couch. I chanced a glance at his eyes, and my chest tightened.
“I’m sorry about what I said.”
He stood upright and released my arm, his snarky persona back with a flash. “Trish wouldn’t say no to a party.”
Hot and cold. Those were the two temperatures of Abel. There was no inbetween. I felt like a complete ass as he left me standing in the kitchen alone, my apology still hanging, unaccepted, in the air.
“Is she coming?” Trish asked, as I stepped into the hallway.
“She’ll come,” Abel replied, as she squealed and wrapped her arms around his neck. I slipped into my room and dug out my navyblue tank top and cutoff shorts. I planned to at least be comfortable if I was going to spend the night feeling miserable.
We took Abel’s car, and he didn’t hesitate to motion me into the backseat between Dumb and Dumber. Trish pushed herself against Abel’s side, and his arm hung around her, his fingertips in front of my face as they drew small circles on her bare shoulder. Sean leaned forward so he could talk to Adam around me, and I pressed myself into the back of the seat to stay out of their conversation. Every once in a while, Abel chimed in or nodded as they talked about everything from sports to drugs.
The song “Brown Eyed Girl” came on the radio, and Abel turned it up. I saw him smirk, but he didn’t look back at me while it played. It reminded me of my mother and what I’d told him she’d said about my eyes. It was a dig, and one I deserved, but it still hurt. I didn’t belong here, and we both knew it.
We pulled up outside the frat house, and it was complete chaos. People were everywhere, and the anarchy didn’t stop on the lawn. The entire house was walltowall bodies. Trish beelined to the kitchen to get us some drinks. Abel poured shots for each of us and warned us not to take drinks from anyone but him. I rolled my eyes and was met with a glare as he held my cup inches from my hand.
“I get it,” I snapped, and he finally handed me my drink. I gulped it down greedily and held it back to him for a refill. I tried to ignore the nagging memory of Brock’s sister, Laurie, who’d been drugged at a similar party. I didn’t need to be told about the consequences of trusting strangers. Brock had learned the hard way when his sister had died, and the butterfly effect from that event had destroyed my own life. Abel was about a year too late to save me.
“That’s my girl!” Trish hollered as Abel poured. He tipped the bottle to his lips and took a long drink. His free hand rubbed up and down her back.
“Come on.” Trish grabbed my wrist. “Let’s go find you some guy and make that ass**le of yours regret breaking your heart.”
I looked at Abel as I replied while Trish pulled me away. “I’m a big girl. I’ll get over it,” I said, echoing his words from the night before. His jaw clenched, and the muscles jumped and pulled under his tanned skin.
“That’s the f**king spirit. Tell me which one you think is cute because it’s like a buffet up in this bitch.”
I glanced around the room. “Which ones haven’t you slept with?” I asked, as I raised an eyebrow.
Trish playfully smacked my arm. “We may have to go to a different college for that,” she joked, and I began to relax as my veins warmed from the alcohol.
“That guy’s cute.” I gestured with my chin to a guy who was leaning over a coffee table, rolling dice.
“He’s a douche. Stay away from him,” Abel said into my ear from behind me. His body was pressed against mine for a moment before he stepped around me and handed Trish a cup.
“Funny coming from you, Pot. Most guys are douches. Some are just easier to tolerate.” I laughed, and Trish joined in, but Abel was less than amused.
“How would you even know? Oh…that’s right. You’re a badass. How could I forget?”
Ouch.We were back to the jokes that I was a virgin. Fucking awesome. I took the cup from Trish’s hand and drank down some liquid courage before handing it back to her. “Only one way to find out,” I said with a wink, as Trish grinned widely.
I walked over to the coffee table and watched for a moment as the guys took turns rolling the dice and yelled each time they stopped.
“Looks fun,” I hollered over the music, and the hot guy looked up and nodded. His eyes traveled down my body and back up with a smile.
“Want to play?” His dark hair hung over his eyes, but he kept it swept to the side. His arms were thick and muscular, and I imagined he was a football player or something equally as physical.
“I think I’ll just watch for a bit.”
“You want a drink or something?” he asked.
I knew better. I knew Brock would be absolutely livid. But he wasn’t here. He broke his promise of forever. I glanced over my shoulder at Trish, avoiding Abel as I looked back to mystery guy and nodded.
“I’m Delilah.”
“Hey, there, Delilah.” He laughed as he sang the song title, and I fought against rolling my eyes. He was kind of a douche. “I’m James.”
“Nice to meet you.”
“I’ll go grab that drink. Wait here.”
“OK,” I whispered, as he set off toward the kitchen, and I was left awkwardly watching a bunch of drunken strangers play dice. Trish dragged Abel over, and her eyes were lit up like she had just spotted some unattended drugs.
“So?” she asked.
“He seems nice.” I nodded. “He went to get me a drink.”
“He’s a gentleman!” she squealed.
“You’ve got to be f**king kidding me.” Abel glared down at me.
“What?” Trish and I asked in unison.
“You’re going to let some strange guy pour your drink?”
“He’s not strange. He’s nice,” I replied defensively. I knew I was being stupid, but I was tired of everyone telling me what was best for me.
“Every guy is nice when he’s trying to f**k you,” Abel sneered. My smile fell, and I felt everyone turn to listen to our conversation. “God, you’re like a f**king child. Do I really need to babysit you again?”
James appeared at my side as he looked back and forth between Abel and me with a plastic cup in his hand. “You all right?” he asked, and Abel took the cup from him and placed it on the coffee table.
“She’s fine. This conversation doesn’t concern you.”
“I was asking Delilah.” James didn’t back down from Abel’s menacing tone, but he didn’t look at him either. He kept his eyes locked on mine for an answer.
“You all right, Delilah?” Abel said my name as if it were a curse word, and I flinched, feeling like I’d been physically hit. “Tell you what.” He turned to look at James as he picked up the cup. “Why don’t you drink this, James?”
“I got my own, man. What’s your f**king problem?”
Abel’s eyes met mine, a faint smile on his lips, as if he had proven his point. “What’s my problem?” He repeated the words as his eyes searched mine.
“I’m fine. I have to go. You’re welcome to join me, James.” I looked at Trish, who seemed completely confused, then up to Abel, who was ready for a fight. I shoved past him and worked my way toward the front door with James trailing behind me. I was out in the warm night air before the sadness rose, and I wished I hadn’t told James to follow me.
“What the hell was that?” he asked, as he pointed over his shoulder to the house.
“Just a…misunderstanding.” I shook my head as I ran my hand over my forehead. “Can you take me home?”
“Of course.” He smirked, and my stomach turned.
James pulled a set of keys from his pocket and hit a button on the key chain. A car across the street beeped, and the lights flashed, signaling it was now unlocked.
I crossed the street and didn’t give a second thought to slipping into the passenger seat. Abel appeared on the porch of the house, and when he saw us, he ran across the road.
“I just want to go to my place,” I told James, who still had his door open. “Alone.”
“Oh, come on, baby. The night is young.”
“Get out of the f**king car, Lie.” Abel was next to James’s door, his jaw clenched in anger.
“She wants to go home with me, bro. Better luck next time,” James shot back, but Abel ignored him, glancing around his side to see my face.
“Is this really what you want?” Abel asked, and I glanced at James. I sat back in my seat and turned to look out the front window.
“Take me home, James.”
“Don’t worry, man. I’ll call you later.” James closed the door, and his comment didn’t make any sense. I turned to him, confusion written on my face as he flipped through his keys.
“What do you mean ‘call him later’? You know him?”
James laughed and shook his head as he stuck the key in the ignition. “Everyone knows Abel.”
It dawned on me that James probably was referring to buying drugs from him, and I’d wished I hadn’t been so f**king stubborn and had listened for once. As the headlights came on and illuminated Abel, my eyes were drawn to the shiny metal object in his right hand.
“Fuck. Who are you to him?” James asked nervously. I glanced at him, unable to form words as his door was pulled open and he was ripped from his seat. Abel shoved him against the frame of the door, the gun pressed into the underside of his chin.
“I’m only going to say this once. If you ever come near Delilah again, I’ll make the beating you took over Becca look like a f**king birthday party.”
The memories of my past flooded my mind, leaving me paralyzed in fear.
“I won’t come near her, man. Fuck.” James raised his hands in surrender, and Abel gripped the collar of his shirt. Abel shoved him hard against the car and rounded the car to my side. He yanked open my door and held out his hand to me.
“Let’s go, Kettle. I’m not asking you this time.”
My gaze fell to the gun in his hand, and I couldn’t breathe. My lungs felt like they were being squeezed in my chest. Abel’s eyes followed mine, and he tucked the gun into the front of his jeans.
“I’m not going to hurt you, Lie. You can trust me,” he said, as he pulled his shirt over the weapon, hiding it from view.
“I’m not going to make that mistake twice.” I cowered away from him, and he took a step back as he ran his hand over his hair.
“I couldn’t let you leave with him. You don’t know what kind of person he is.”
“But you do, don’t you?” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Because you’re just like him.” I glanced up in time to see his expression soften, replaced by regret.
“I was trying to protect you.”
“Let me save you the trouble of history repeating itself. I’m not worth it.” I stood, and he took a step back, looking as confused as I felt. I started to walk toward my apartment, no longer caring what might be lurking in the shadows.
I was two blocks away from the party when my phone rang. I ignored it and kept walking as fast as I could. Two blocks farther, and my phone had rung no less than three times and vibrated half a dozen. I crossed the street and dipped down an alley just to be sure that if anyone came looking for me, they wouldn’t find me. I needed some time to myself as I sank into my memories.
Going back to school after I had run away only seemed to amplify my loser status. I didn’t fit in with anyone, and I gave up trying.
I skipped school on most days, but the hunger pains began to outweigh the sadness, and I was forced to show my face just so I could have lunch. I sat in the far corner of the cafeteria with the other kids who were deemed too uncool to be seen with.
I took a bite of my Mexican pizza and dropped it onto my tray, careful not to look up from the table. Making eye contact with any of the other students was an invitation to start trouble in their eyes. Today I didn’t need to, though, because they sought me out.
“Do you try to look hideous on purpose, or were you born that ugly?” Shelly said, as she stood on the opposite side of the table. I didn’t look up, and she grew more frustrated with my lack of a response. “I asked you a question, freak.”
I wiped the crumbs from my hands and took a deep breath as I finally met her glare. She pushed her long blond hair over her shoulder and smirked.
“What’s your problem with me?” My voice was shaky, and I cleared my throat.
“My problem? I have to look at your stupid face every day. How am I supposed to keep my lunch down with your stupid face right here?”
I felt everyone’s eyes on me as Shelly’s voice grew louder. If I didn’t leave now, I’d cry, and that would give them more ammunition. I pushed myself up from my seat and grabbed my tray. “I’m done now,” I told her, “so you can go back to eating.”
