Perfect Lies
Page 18
She told me she stayed because they threatened to kill her mom. It was the hardest choice she'd ever had to make, because she loved me more than she ever loved her mom, and betraying my memory to protect that woman was torture. But now that Eden's dead, too, we can be together. I shouldn't be so grateful, considering everything that was lost for this to happen, but I won't let Eden go again.
It took us a few days of hotel hopping before we all got to the same place and felt safe enough to meet. Sadie has barely spoken five words to any of us. She also hasn't showered, and I can smell her from across the room. Someone needs to take care of her, help her, but we're all so shell-shocked by what happened. At least she seems calm and resigned to being with us.
Eden continues. "I've seen some of our girls on it. It can make you paranoid, even trigger brief psychotic episodes."
Apparently Cole feels the same, given the accusations he's hurling at Rafael.
"Get away from her," Eden snaps.
"What?" Nathan says. I wish he weren't here.
"Don't get anywhere near Sadie. She doesn't want you to."
"I think she can talk for herself."
"I think you can take a flying leap off the balcony for all I care. Just stay away from her, you're making her nervous."
Nathan mutters something under his breath, but we're interrupted by the door opening.
"Well," Rafael says, his voice artificially bright. "We've got to decide what to do next. Obviously we can't all stay together. Adam, it's easiest if you're with me. So, Cole, you and Eden can take Sadie to a safe house, and I'll take Adam and Annie."
"No." Sadie's voice is lower than I expect it to be, almost husky. "I want to stay with Annie."
I'm surprised by this, but pleased. Someone needs to take care of her, so I'll be that someone. It's about time I had someone to take care of again. "Okay," I say.
Rafael sounds patient as he's talking to Sadie, but something is off. "I don't think it's safe for you and me to be in the same location, since they might be looking for us. Why don't you explain exactly what you can do, and we can decide where the best place is for you."
Then it hits me. Rafael uses a different tone of voice when he's talking to women. His accent masked it, and, if I'm being honest, I liked flirting with him too much to notice. It's not obviously condescending and skeezy like Nathan, but it's there.
That detail feels like sand on my skin, irritating and impossible to brush away. "It's okay. I'll go with Sadie."
Eden takes my hand and draws casually in my palm. I wonder what she's doing until I realize she's forming letters.
What is wrong?
"Eden, can you show me where the bathroom is?" I ask.
She stands, taking my arm, and leads me through a room. We close the door behind ourselves. "You're worried. What?"
"I don't know. I'm confused. I'm so worried about Fia. And I don't know how to feel about things here. Rafael is . . . I don't think I had him figured out the way I thought I did."
"Yeah, he's a puzzle. You were distracted by his accent, weren't you?"
I laugh. "Shut up. Okay, yes. I was. Listen, I'll stay with Sadie. I feel responsible, you know? But I worry about Adam."
"He seems like a good guy."
"He is. But . . ." I tell her about the vision that started all this. "I think he needs to be watched. Would you-this is awful, I don't want to be separated from you, but would you stay with him?"
She sighs. "I just barely got you back. But this is important to you. I'll do it. And I'll try to feel out Rafael better."
I hug her. "Thank you."
"Seriously though, this company is wasted on you. Adam is all nerd hot, Rafael has that whole Latin lover vibe going, and even Cole is smoking. It's kind of a slow build, you know? At first he looks pretty average, but then he's got this incredible intensity in his stares, and his body is rocking. I should have joined Lerner ages ago."
I laugh. "You'll get no argument on that point. I'm so, so glad you are here."
"Me, too. But they're going to start wondering why you need so much help in the bathroom. I'll head back and volunteer to stick with Adam and Rafael. Rafael thinks I'm very attractive-which I am, obviously-so he won't have an issue with it."
"Wait, when you said you were going to try to feel out Rafael better, did you mean emotionally, or did you mean literally?"
Her laugh is downright evil as she closes the door and leaves me in the bathroom.
Already missing her, I follow a few minutes later.
"I go with Annie and Sadie," Cole says.
"I think you've earned a vacation," Rafael says. "After what happened to Sarah. I know how close you two were. Nathan can get Annie and Sadie to a safe house."
"No!" My response is too strong and too fast, but I can't help it. "No offense, Nathan, but I don't like you."
"Why would that offend me?" he asks, voice dark.
"I'd rather be with Cole. Is that okay, Sadie?"
She doesn't answer.
"Is it?"
"She's nodding," Eden says. "Sweetie, you've got to remember to say yes or no. Okay. I feel like we should have a team cheer or something." She pulls me into a hug and I squeeze her as tight as I can.
"Take care of yourself," she says.
"You, too."
Adam gives me a quick hug, and then Rafael gives me a much less quick hug. "Are you sure?" he whispers against my ear.
"I'm sure. I owe it to Sadie."
"Okay. I'll see you soon."
"Let's get going," Cole says. He takes my elbow and the three of us walk out of the room.
I try to broach the subject as casually as I can while Cole is out buying food and supplies. "Hey, Sadie, you want the first shower?" It's been a week since we left Rafael and co., and we've been traveling in a random pattern, never deciding beforehand where we'll go. Cole wants to give us a few weeks of unpredictability before we settle at a safe house.
Sadie has not showered once.
I've tried to draw her out into conversation to no avail. She's like traveling with a ghost. A ghost with BO.
"I can't," she whispers.
"What do you mean?"
"I don't have my gloves."
I frown. "You need gloves for the shower?"
"I can't touch myself."
"I'm sorry. I really don't understand."
"When I touch myself, I see things. It hurts. I don't want to see them. I had shower gloves at home, so I wasn't touching my own skin. It's not as bad as when I touch other people, but it's still too much."
I sit on the bed across from her. "Wait, you see things when you touch people?"
"Yes."
"So when I touched your face . . ."
"She killed you." Sadie moves closer, her voice getting more intense. "She killed you-I saw it. And then that other girl, the one who looks like you, killed her. The things I see, they never change. Never. So how come you're not dead?"
I smile sadly. "That other girl? She's my sister. Fia has a way of changing things. She can't help it. Nothing's ever set in stone where Fia's concerned."
"So your visions . . ."
I shrug. "They aren't always right. Sometimes I see them wrong. Sometimes they change."
"It's not fate, then. What you see." Hope lightens her voice, just a bit.
"I don't think so. And I'll get you some shower mitts. When you need things, please ask. If anyone understands weird requests, it's us."
She's quiet, and then she hurriedly says, "I'm nodding. Thank you."
When Cole returns, Sadie's made a list for him, and he goes right back out. By the time he's finished it's late, but the shower is running and I collapse on the bed, relieved. "Oh, thank goodness. Being in a car with her was horrible. Poor little thing."
Cole sighs, and I feel the bed shift as he sits next to me. "Every time she touches anyone? Including herself?"
"Yup. Sucks to be her."
His breathing slows, gets even, and I think he's falling asleep. I take a pillow and start sliding off the bed, but his hand shoots out and grabs my wrist. "I'll take the floor," he says.
"I'm sorry."
"I don't mind."
"I'm sorry for so much more. I know how stressed out I make you. And-" My throat catches. "I'm so sorry about Sarah. I can't help feeling like it was my fault. Please don't tell me it wasn't."
Cole's voice comes out softer than I've ever heard it. There's no edge, none of the sharp steel and stone I know in it. "I'm sorry about her, too. But it wasn't your fault."
He lets go of my wrist and moves to the floor. Lying on the bed, I have a sudden, overwhelming urge to crawl off and curl up next to him. It hits me how much I've come to depend on him, but it's different than it was with Fia. I feel like depending on him makes me stronger, not more helpless.
"Thank you," I whisper, and the words hang on the air between us. It's not enough, but I can't figure out how to voice anything else.
By the time Sadie comes out I'm half asleep, but the scent of shampoo and soap makes me smile as I drift off.
I'm woken as light bursts behind my eyes.
In the vision, Sadie is on a black leather couch in a window-lined room. There's a glass door open to a balcony overlooking a skyscraper-filled skyline. She's curled into the corner of the couch, legs tucked protectively in front of her chest. Her face is empty as she stares at the floor.
A heavy door opens and two people enter the room. One, carefully handsome James, something tight and frightened around his eyes but not showing in his broad smile.
The other is Phillip Keane.
And then a third person comes in and my heart twists to see Fia, my Fia, but something is wrong with her. She looks from Sadie to Phillip Keane and back again, slides along the wall next to the door. James gives her a sharp, expectant expression.
The line of her eyes shifts them into a shape I don't recognize.
Something is very, very wrong with Fia.
Phillip Keane smiles his soulless robot smile, and says, "Hello, Sadie."
Fia spasms once, twice, as though she can't quite move. Then she pushes Phillip Keane out of the way, jumps in front of Sadie, and stabs her in the chest.
Sadie looks down, her eyes sad but not surprised.
"She was going to-" Fia stands up straight, drops the knife. "She was going to-kill-she was going to kill . . ." Fia looks back at James, her blue eyes pleading and impossibly sad, and then something in them dies. Fia's expression drops away and she drifts to the balcony.
"Fia?" James says, his voice tight with panic.
Fia climbs onto the stone railing and jumps off.
Chapter Twenty-One
FIA
Eleven Hours Before
I DON'T CALL JAMES UNTIL I'M OUT ON THE SIDEWALK, weaving through the masses of people, losing my security tail without much effort.
"Why didn't you answer?" He sounds panicked.
"I was in the middle of something."
"We're dead. It's over."
I stop where I am; someone cusses me out as they almost walk into me but I don't care. Pixie. Pixie betrayed us. It feels wrong, I should have felt it, should have known. I am broken.
James is still talking. "-my father agreed to a meeting. He says Rafael Marino contacted him, said he has a Seer who can force visions on demand. Rafael." He swears, and I should be surprised but I'm not. Rafael is definitely Lerner, then. Pixie didn't betray us.
It took us a few days of hotel hopping before we all got to the same place and felt safe enough to meet. Sadie has barely spoken five words to any of us. She also hasn't showered, and I can smell her from across the room. Someone needs to take care of her, help her, but we're all so shell-shocked by what happened. At least she seems calm and resigned to being with us.
Eden continues. "I've seen some of our girls on it. It can make you paranoid, even trigger brief psychotic episodes."
Apparently Cole feels the same, given the accusations he's hurling at Rafael.
"Get away from her," Eden snaps.
"What?" Nathan says. I wish he weren't here.
"Don't get anywhere near Sadie. She doesn't want you to."
"I think she can talk for herself."
"I think you can take a flying leap off the balcony for all I care. Just stay away from her, you're making her nervous."
Nathan mutters something under his breath, but we're interrupted by the door opening.
"Well," Rafael says, his voice artificially bright. "We've got to decide what to do next. Obviously we can't all stay together. Adam, it's easiest if you're with me. So, Cole, you and Eden can take Sadie to a safe house, and I'll take Adam and Annie."
"No." Sadie's voice is lower than I expect it to be, almost husky. "I want to stay with Annie."
I'm surprised by this, but pleased. Someone needs to take care of her, so I'll be that someone. It's about time I had someone to take care of again. "Okay," I say.
Rafael sounds patient as he's talking to Sadie, but something is off. "I don't think it's safe for you and me to be in the same location, since they might be looking for us. Why don't you explain exactly what you can do, and we can decide where the best place is for you."
Then it hits me. Rafael uses a different tone of voice when he's talking to women. His accent masked it, and, if I'm being honest, I liked flirting with him too much to notice. It's not obviously condescending and skeezy like Nathan, but it's there.
That detail feels like sand on my skin, irritating and impossible to brush away. "It's okay. I'll go with Sadie."
Eden takes my hand and draws casually in my palm. I wonder what she's doing until I realize she's forming letters.
What is wrong?
"Eden, can you show me where the bathroom is?" I ask.
She stands, taking my arm, and leads me through a room. We close the door behind ourselves. "You're worried. What?"
"I don't know. I'm confused. I'm so worried about Fia. And I don't know how to feel about things here. Rafael is . . . I don't think I had him figured out the way I thought I did."
"Yeah, he's a puzzle. You were distracted by his accent, weren't you?"
I laugh. "Shut up. Okay, yes. I was. Listen, I'll stay with Sadie. I feel responsible, you know? But I worry about Adam."
"He seems like a good guy."
"He is. But . . ." I tell her about the vision that started all this. "I think he needs to be watched. Would you-this is awful, I don't want to be separated from you, but would you stay with him?"
She sighs. "I just barely got you back. But this is important to you. I'll do it. And I'll try to feel out Rafael better."
I hug her. "Thank you."
"Seriously though, this company is wasted on you. Adam is all nerd hot, Rafael has that whole Latin lover vibe going, and even Cole is smoking. It's kind of a slow build, you know? At first he looks pretty average, but then he's got this incredible intensity in his stares, and his body is rocking. I should have joined Lerner ages ago."
I laugh. "You'll get no argument on that point. I'm so, so glad you are here."
"Me, too. But they're going to start wondering why you need so much help in the bathroom. I'll head back and volunteer to stick with Adam and Rafael. Rafael thinks I'm very attractive-which I am, obviously-so he won't have an issue with it."
"Wait, when you said you were going to try to feel out Rafael better, did you mean emotionally, or did you mean literally?"
Her laugh is downright evil as she closes the door and leaves me in the bathroom.
Already missing her, I follow a few minutes later.
"I go with Annie and Sadie," Cole says.
"I think you've earned a vacation," Rafael says. "After what happened to Sarah. I know how close you two were. Nathan can get Annie and Sadie to a safe house."
"No!" My response is too strong and too fast, but I can't help it. "No offense, Nathan, but I don't like you."
"Why would that offend me?" he asks, voice dark.
"I'd rather be with Cole. Is that okay, Sadie?"
She doesn't answer.
"Is it?"
"She's nodding," Eden says. "Sweetie, you've got to remember to say yes or no. Okay. I feel like we should have a team cheer or something." She pulls me into a hug and I squeeze her as tight as I can.
"Take care of yourself," she says.
"You, too."
Adam gives me a quick hug, and then Rafael gives me a much less quick hug. "Are you sure?" he whispers against my ear.
"I'm sure. I owe it to Sadie."
"Okay. I'll see you soon."
"Let's get going," Cole says. He takes my elbow and the three of us walk out of the room.
I try to broach the subject as casually as I can while Cole is out buying food and supplies. "Hey, Sadie, you want the first shower?" It's been a week since we left Rafael and co., and we've been traveling in a random pattern, never deciding beforehand where we'll go. Cole wants to give us a few weeks of unpredictability before we settle at a safe house.
Sadie has not showered once.
I've tried to draw her out into conversation to no avail. She's like traveling with a ghost. A ghost with BO.
"I can't," she whispers.
"What do you mean?"
"I don't have my gloves."
I frown. "You need gloves for the shower?"
"I can't touch myself."
"I'm sorry. I really don't understand."
"When I touch myself, I see things. It hurts. I don't want to see them. I had shower gloves at home, so I wasn't touching my own skin. It's not as bad as when I touch other people, but it's still too much."
I sit on the bed across from her. "Wait, you see things when you touch people?"
"Yes."
"So when I touched your face . . ."
"She killed you." Sadie moves closer, her voice getting more intense. "She killed you-I saw it. And then that other girl, the one who looks like you, killed her. The things I see, they never change. Never. So how come you're not dead?"
I smile sadly. "That other girl? She's my sister. Fia has a way of changing things. She can't help it. Nothing's ever set in stone where Fia's concerned."
"So your visions . . ."
I shrug. "They aren't always right. Sometimes I see them wrong. Sometimes they change."
"It's not fate, then. What you see." Hope lightens her voice, just a bit.
"I don't think so. And I'll get you some shower mitts. When you need things, please ask. If anyone understands weird requests, it's us."
She's quiet, and then she hurriedly says, "I'm nodding. Thank you."
When Cole returns, Sadie's made a list for him, and he goes right back out. By the time he's finished it's late, but the shower is running and I collapse on the bed, relieved. "Oh, thank goodness. Being in a car with her was horrible. Poor little thing."
Cole sighs, and I feel the bed shift as he sits next to me. "Every time she touches anyone? Including herself?"
"Yup. Sucks to be her."
His breathing slows, gets even, and I think he's falling asleep. I take a pillow and start sliding off the bed, but his hand shoots out and grabs my wrist. "I'll take the floor," he says.
"I'm sorry."
"I don't mind."
"I'm sorry for so much more. I know how stressed out I make you. And-" My throat catches. "I'm so sorry about Sarah. I can't help feeling like it was my fault. Please don't tell me it wasn't."
Cole's voice comes out softer than I've ever heard it. There's no edge, none of the sharp steel and stone I know in it. "I'm sorry about her, too. But it wasn't your fault."
He lets go of my wrist and moves to the floor. Lying on the bed, I have a sudden, overwhelming urge to crawl off and curl up next to him. It hits me how much I've come to depend on him, but it's different than it was with Fia. I feel like depending on him makes me stronger, not more helpless.
"Thank you," I whisper, and the words hang on the air between us. It's not enough, but I can't figure out how to voice anything else.
By the time Sadie comes out I'm half asleep, but the scent of shampoo and soap makes me smile as I drift off.
I'm woken as light bursts behind my eyes.
In the vision, Sadie is on a black leather couch in a window-lined room. There's a glass door open to a balcony overlooking a skyscraper-filled skyline. She's curled into the corner of the couch, legs tucked protectively in front of her chest. Her face is empty as she stares at the floor.
A heavy door opens and two people enter the room. One, carefully handsome James, something tight and frightened around his eyes but not showing in his broad smile.
The other is Phillip Keane.
And then a third person comes in and my heart twists to see Fia, my Fia, but something is wrong with her. She looks from Sadie to Phillip Keane and back again, slides along the wall next to the door. James gives her a sharp, expectant expression.
The line of her eyes shifts them into a shape I don't recognize.
Something is very, very wrong with Fia.
Phillip Keane smiles his soulless robot smile, and says, "Hello, Sadie."
Fia spasms once, twice, as though she can't quite move. Then she pushes Phillip Keane out of the way, jumps in front of Sadie, and stabs her in the chest.
Sadie looks down, her eyes sad but not surprised.
"She was going to-" Fia stands up straight, drops the knife. "She was going to-kill-she was going to kill . . ." Fia looks back at James, her blue eyes pleading and impossibly sad, and then something in them dies. Fia's expression drops away and she drifts to the balcony.
"Fia?" James says, his voice tight with panic.
Fia climbs onto the stone railing and jumps off.
Chapter Twenty-One
FIA
Eleven Hours Before
I DON'T CALL JAMES UNTIL I'M OUT ON THE SIDEWALK, weaving through the masses of people, losing my security tail without much effort.
"Why didn't you answer?" He sounds panicked.
"I was in the middle of something."
"We're dead. It's over."
I stop where I am; someone cusses me out as they almost walk into me but I don't care. Pixie. Pixie betrayed us. It feels wrong, I should have felt it, should have known. I am broken.
James is still talking. "-my father agreed to a meeting. He says Rafael Marino contacted him, said he has a Seer who can force visions on demand. Rafael." He swears, and I should be surprised but I'm not. Rafael is definitely Lerner, then. Pixie didn't betray us.
