Personal Demon
Page 66
Run. Always running. The coward’s way.
Are you calling your father a coward?
No, of course not. I’d never…
The thoughts disintegrated into a muddle of rage and guilt. I drank it up, knowing it was a memory, something Karl was offering me, a gift…
When my stomach stopped churning, I rubbed my hands over my face.
“I—I think I’m okay now,” I said. “Can we—?”
“Leave?” He got up from his crouch and rolled his shoulders, working out the kinks. “I plan to.”
I saw the back of a paramedic who’d just passed through with the stretcher. I got up, wanting to ask how Troy was, but my knees wobbled and Karl had to catch me.
Paige appeared in the doorway. She managed a wan smile, and motioned for Karl to sit me back on the bed.
As she checked my pulse, I flashed back to the panic room, to how I’d left it, over Karl’s shoulder, flailing like a chaos-crazed demon. Paige had seen that. They saw, and now they knew my secret.
But as shame flooded me, I remembered how they knew. Not from Karl, who’d never betray my secret.
From Benicio. Who’d told Karl to get me out of the room. Who had thrown me into a chaotic situation, knowing I’d thrive on it and, like a junkie, want more.
He’d used me just as much as Tristan had. There was a difference between seducing a prospective employee with promises of huge bonuses and preying on her weaknesses, feeding her the drugs she wants, knowing she’ll become addicted.
Lucas walked in, but my gaze went past him to Benicio. Then I looked away. I didn’t want to lay the blame on him. So what if he’d tempted me? I wanted to be above temptation. In control. Responsible.
“I’ll be at the hospital,” Benicio said to Lucas. “I want you and Paige—” A sharp intake of breath. “Your brothers.”
“I’ll warn them.”
“I should have thought—”
“I’ll look after it, Papá. You go with Troy. I’ll have guards meet you at the hospital.”
After Benicio left, I looked up to see Lucas lost in thought as Paige walked over to him. He murmured something to her, then turned to Karl.
“I hate to ask…” he began.
“Then don’t,” Karl growled. “We’ve done more than enough already and Hope has paid more than—”
“What do you need?” I cut in. I met Karl’s gaze. “Please.”
“No.”
My insides twisted, and I had to swallow to keep from heaving again.
He laid his hand on mine, cupped in my lap. “You’ve done enough, Hope.”
“I haven’t,” I whispered, too low for the others to hear. “I need to help. To finish this by doing something good.”
A moment’s silence as he studied me. Then he turned to Lucas. “One last favor. And I do consider it a favor.”
“It is,” Lucas said. “I need to find my brothers—”
“And what, you want us to make phone calls? Get your Cabal flunkies out of their beds—”
“No. We need to track them down and warn them. In person. Just find them, please, Karl. Then you can go.”
WE DROVE KARL’S rental, following Lucas as he made calls, trying to locate his brothers. Karl continued to grumble—why did we have to find them when a direct phone call would give them quicker warning? I agreed, but in Lucas’s defense, put forward possible explanations. Karl was having none of it. Not only was he worried about me, but playing tracking dog for a thirty-year-old sorcerer chafed. He had enough trouble obeying his Alpha.
The reminder of Jeremy brought back the memories Karl had shown me, and I longed to ask what they meant. This wasn’t the time. I wasn’t sure there’d ever be a time. Karl had only shown me that in a desperate attempt to yank me out of a dark place.
We’d just left the neighborhood when Lucas called my cell.
“Hector is at home,” he said. “Paige and I will visit him. Carlos is out for the evening, and will be difficult to locate, so I’m going to ask you two to go see William, who was apparently working late. My father’s other bodyguard, Griffin, will meet you at the office and escort you inside.”
“Okay…”
I could understand why Lucas wouldn’t want a security team swooping in and alarming Hector’s family at home, but this made no sense. If William was in the office, there was an entire security division on site to check on him and take him into protective custody.
“Why don’t we find Carlos?” I said. “If he’s harder to track, Karl would be perfect.”
“We know where the others should be. So I’d like to handle them first.”
Karl shot me a look. “As long as he doesn’t expect me to track Carlos after we talk to William.”
“I heard that,” Lucas said. “Tell Karl no. Once you’ve found William and turned him over to Griffin’s care, I won’t ask any more of either of you. If William isn’t at the office, though, I’d like Karl to try to ascertain, by scent, whether he was there recently. And, Hope, if you could check for any visions…”
In other words, he suspected William might have been kidnapped…or worse.
“If he is gone,” Lucas said. “Please ask Karl to track him as far as possible, then contact me.”
LUCAS: 10
“SO HAVE I COMPLETELY LOST MY MIND?” I asked as I drove.
Paige gave a tiny smile. “Not yet.” She directed me around a corner, following the instructions the Cabal had given. “For your father’s sake, I hate to say it, but your reasoning is sound. I just hope you’re wrong.”
“As do I.”
I glanced in the rearview mirror as a dark car pulled in behind us. A flash of its headlights told me it was the guards I’d requested. “Am I wrong to keep my suspicions from Hope and Karl?”
A pause this time. Choosing her words with care, she finally said, “It’s…not ideal. But you already know that.”
I nodded.
“If you tell Karl the truth, he won’t help, but the only way to answer your questions about your brothers is with his tracking abilities and Hope’s visions.”
“So I’m employing questionable means to achieve a goal I believe is in the best interests of the majority.
Are you calling your father a coward?
No, of course not. I’d never…
The thoughts disintegrated into a muddle of rage and guilt. I drank it up, knowing it was a memory, something Karl was offering me, a gift…
When my stomach stopped churning, I rubbed my hands over my face.
“I—I think I’m okay now,” I said. “Can we—?”
“Leave?” He got up from his crouch and rolled his shoulders, working out the kinks. “I plan to.”
I saw the back of a paramedic who’d just passed through with the stretcher. I got up, wanting to ask how Troy was, but my knees wobbled and Karl had to catch me.
Paige appeared in the doorway. She managed a wan smile, and motioned for Karl to sit me back on the bed.
As she checked my pulse, I flashed back to the panic room, to how I’d left it, over Karl’s shoulder, flailing like a chaos-crazed demon. Paige had seen that. They saw, and now they knew my secret.
But as shame flooded me, I remembered how they knew. Not from Karl, who’d never betray my secret.
From Benicio. Who’d told Karl to get me out of the room. Who had thrown me into a chaotic situation, knowing I’d thrive on it and, like a junkie, want more.
He’d used me just as much as Tristan had. There was a difference between seducing a prospective employee with promises of huge bonuses and preying on her weaknesses, feeding her the drugs she wants, knowing she’ll become addicted.
Lucas walked in, but my gaze went past him to Benicio. Then I looked away. I didn’t want to lay the blame on him. So what if he’d tempted me? I wanted to be above temptation. In control. Responsible.
“I’ll be at the hospital,” Benicio said to Lucas. “I want you and Paige—” A sharp intake of breath. “Your brothers.”
“I’ll warn them.”
“I should have thought—”
“I’ll look after it, Papá. You go with Troy. I’ll have guards meet you at the hospital.”
After Benicio left, I looked up to see Lucas lost in thought as Paige walked over to him. He murmured something to her, then turned to Karl.
“I hate to ask…” he began.
“Then don’t,” Karl growled. “We’ve done more than enough already and Hope has paid more than—”
“What do you need?” I cut in. I met Karl’s gaze. “Please.”
“No.”
My insides twisted, and I had to swallow to keep from heaving again.
He laid his hand on mine, cupped in my lap. “You’ve done enough, Hope.”
“I haven’t,” I whispered, too low for the others to hear. “I need to help. To finish this by doing something good.”
A moment’s silence as he studied me. Then he turned to Lucas. “One last favor. And I do consider it a favor.”
“It is,” Lucas said. “I need to find my brothers—”
“And what, you want us to make phone calls? Get your Cabal flunkies out of their beds—”
“No. We need to track them down and warn them. In person. Just find them, please, Karl. Then you can go.”
WE DROVE KARL’S rental, following Lucas as he made calls, trying to locate his brothers. Karl continued to grumble—why did we have to find them when a direct phone call would give them quicker warning? I agreed, but in Lucas’s defense, put forward possible explanations. Karl was having none of it. Not only was he worried about me, but playing tracking dog for a thirty-year-old sorcerer chafed. He had enough trouble obeying his Alpha.
The reminder of Jeremy brought back the memories Karl had shown me, and I longed to ask what they meant. This wasn’t the time. I wasn’t sure there’d ever be a time. Karl had only shown me that in a desperate attempt to yank me out of a dark place.
We’d just left the neighborhood when Lucas called my cell.
“Hector is at home,” he said. “Paige and I will visit him. Carlos is out for the evening, and will be difficult to locate, so I’m going to ask you two to go see William, who was apparently working late. My father’s other bodyguard, Griffin, will meet you at the office and escort you inside.”
“Okay…”
I could understand why Lucas wouldn’t want a security team swooping in and alarming Hector’s family at home, but this made no sense. If William was in the office, there was an entire security division on site to check on him and take him into protective custody.
“Why don’t we find Carlos?” I said. “If he’s harder to track, Karl would be perfect.”
“We know where the others should be. So I’d like to handle them first.”
Karl shot me a look. “As long as he doesn’t expect me to track Carlos after we talk to William.”
“I heard that,” Lucas said. “Tell Karl no. Once you’ve found William and turned him over to Griffin’s care, I won’t ask any more of either of you. If William isn’t at the office, though, I’d like Karl to try to ascertain, by scent, whether he was there recently. And, Hope, if you could check for any visions…”
In other words, he suspected William might have been kidnapped…or worse.
“If he is gone,” Lucas said. “Please ask Karl to track him as far as possible, then contact me.”
LUCAS: 10
“SO HAVE I COMPLETELY LOST MY MIND?” I asked as I drove.
Paige gave a tiny smile. “Not yet.” She directed me around a corner, following the instructions the Cabal had given. “For your father’s sake, I hate to say it, but your reasoning is sound. I just hope you’re wrong.”
“As do I.”
I glanced in the rearview mirror as a dark car pulled in behind us. A flash of its headlights told me it was the guards I’d requested. “Am I wrong to keep my suspicions from Hope and Karl?”
A pause this time. Choosing her words with care, she finally said, “It’s…not ideal. But you already know that.”
I nodded.
“If you tell Karl the truth, he won’t help, but the only way to answer your questions about your brothers is with his tracking abilities and Hope’s visions.”
“So I’m employing questionable means to achieve a goal I believe is in the best interests of the majority.
