Play Dead
Page 12
He stood, walked to the door, sighed, turned slowly back around. He reached back and grabbed his Australian cigars. What the hell? His taste buds were dead already.
A little while later, as Laura sat alone in her room waiting for T.C. (or better yet, David) to return, she decided to call home. Glancing at the clock, she realized that it was around eleven p.m. in Boston.
Her father, Dr. James Ayars, would be sitting in his immaculate study at his immaculate desk. Medical files for tomorrow morning’s rounds would be neatly stacked, the right side for those already reviewed, the left for the ones not yet read. He would be wearing his gray silk robe over neatly buttoned pajamas, his reading glasses gripping the end of his nose tightly so they would not slide off during one of his frequent sighs.
Her mother, the lovely socialite Mary Ayars, would probably be upstairs waiting for her husband’s nocturnal voyage to their bedroom. She would be propped up in bed, reading the latest provocative novel assigned for her reading group—a clan, really, containing some of Boston’s most influential pseudointellectuals. They enjoyed spending each Thursday evening dissecting the “in” books and attributing meanings that even the most creative of authors could not have imagined on the loftiest of drug trips. Laura had gone to one session (they were sessions, her mother had told her, not meetings), and decided that the dictionary should have a picture of this group next to the word “bullshit.” But this was merely her mother’s latest in a long series of Thursday night attempts at female bonding, running the gambit from bridge games to sexual-awareness encounter groups.
“Hello?”
For the first time since David’s disappearance, tears suddenly came to her eyes. Her father’s voice was like a time machine. She fell back over the years, wanting to wrap herself in the past, wanting to wrap herself within her father’s strong and confident voice, where she had always been safe and warm.
“Hello, Dad.”
“Laura? How’s everything going over there? How’s Australia?”
She did not know how to start. “It’s beautiful. The sun shines all the time.”
“Well, that’s great, honey.” His tone grew business- like. “Now why don’t we cut through all the red tape, okay? What’s up?”
That was her father. Enough haggling and small talk. He wanted to get to the bottom line. “Something’s happened to David.”
His voice was as authoritative as always. “What, Laura? Is he okay?”
She was very close to crying now. “I don’t know.”
“What do you mean you don’t know?”
“He’s missing.”
There was a long silence that frightened Laura. “Missing?”
His voice was more full of dread than real surprise, like when you hear your friend who smokes three packs a day has developed lung cancer. Tragic and yet obvious. She waited for him to say more, to request all the details as he usually did, but he remained quiet. Finally she spoke.
“He left me a note that he had gone swimming. That was two days ago.”
“Oh, God,” he mumbled. His words formed into a sharp needle that punctured Laura’s skin. Gone was the confident voice that was her father’s trademark. She could feel him struggling to regain his normal tone, but the sound was hollow, distant. “Why didn’t you call sooner? Have you contacted the police?”
“They’re looking for him now. I called T.C. He arrived a few hours ago.”
“I’ll catch the next flight. I’ll be there—”
“No, that’s okay. There’s nothing you can do here.”
“But—”
“Really, Dad, I’m okay. But please don’t tell Mom.”
“What could I tell her? She doesn’t even know you’re in Australia. Everybody’s wondering where you and David are.”
“Just keep the elopement a secret for a little while longer. Is Mom there?”
Dr. Ayars froze. “No.”
“Where is she?”
“She’s in Los Angeles for the week,” he said. “Laura, are you sure you don’t want me to fly out there?”
“No, really, I’ll be fine. I’m sure we’ll find him soon. He’s probably just pulling another stunt.”
Again, there was silence. Laura waited for him to agree with her, to say of course David would be back, to tell her to stop worrying like a typical wife. But he didn’t. Where was his comforting voice of reason? Where was the man who was supposed to be strong for everyone else? Her father—the man who was always calm, always in control, the man who had seen death and suffering on both a professional and personal level for his entire life and had never let it affect his cool exterior—was strangely without words.
“I’ll call you as soon as I know something,” she said while a small voice in her head told her that her father didn’t need to be informed, that he already knew what the outcome was going to be. But that was silly. She was just overtired and frightened. This whole episode was turning her brain into mush.
“Okay,” Dr. James Ayars replied, defeated, crushed.
“Is there something else, Dad?”
“No,” Dr. Ayars said mechanically. “I’m sure every- thing will work out for the best.”
Laura listened to his words, puzzled. The best? She suddenly felt very cold.
“Is Gloria around?”
“No, your sister’s working late again. You should be very proud of her.”
“I am,” Laura replied. “When’s Mom going to be home?”
“A few days. Are you sure you don’t want me to fly over?”
“I’m sure. Good-bye, Dad.”
“Good-bye, Laura. If you need anything . . .”
“I’ll let you know.”
Laura heard her father replace the receiver.
SHE tried not to let the conversation bother her. After all, there was nothing specific in his words, nothing concrete her father had said or done that she could truly call troublesome. And yet the feeling that something was wrong—very wrong—lay like a heavy weight in her stomach. She opened her purse, rifled through its contents, came up empty.
God, why had she ever quit smoking?
Again she glanced out the window, away from the beach and toward the start of the Australian bush. She remembered once when she and David had decided to slip out of their city-slicker facade and head out into the New England bush. Because he had grown up in Michigan, David had had some experience with camping out. He enthusiastically billed it as a weekend away from the world. Laura, who had been a content city dweller all of her years, saw it as more of a chance to sleep in the dirt with a lot of bugs.
A little while later, as Laura sat alone in her room waiting for T.C. (or better yet, David) to return, she decided to call home. Glancing at the clock, she realized that it was around eleven p.m. in Boston.
Her father, Dr. James Ayars, would be sitting in his immaculate study at his immaculate desk. Medical files for tomorrow morning’s rounds would be neatly stacked, the right side for those already reviewed, the left for the ones not yet read. He would be wearing his gray silk robe over neatly buttoned pajamas, his reading glasses gripping the end of his nose tightly so they would not slide off during one of his frequent sighs.
Her mother, the lovely socialite Mary Ayars, would probably be upstairs waiting for her husband’s nocturnal voyage to their bedroom. She would be propped up in bed, reading the latest provocative novel assigned for her reading group—a clan, really, containing some of Boston’s most influential pseudointellectuals. They enjoyed spending each Thursday evening dissecting the “in” books and attributing meanings that even the most creative of authors could not have imagined on the loftiest of drug trips. Laura had gone to one session (they were sessions, her mother had told her, not meetings), and decided that the dictionary should have a picture of this group next to the word “bullshit.” But this was merely her mother’s latest in a long series of Thursday night attempts at female bonding, running the gambit from bridge games to sexual-awareness encounter groups.
“Hello?”
For the first time since David’s disappearance, tears suddenly came to her eyes. Her father’s voice was like a time machine. She fell back over the years, wanting to wrap herself in the past, wanting to wrap herself within her father’s strong and confident voice, where she had always been safe and warm.
“Hello, Dad.”
“Laura? How’s everything going over there? How’s Australia?”
She did not know how to start. “It’s beautiful. The sun shines all the time.”
“Well, that’s great, honey.” His tone grew business- like. “Now why don’t we cut through all the red tape, okay? What’s up?”
That was her father. Enough haggling and small talk. He wanted to get to the bottom line. “Something’s happened to David.”
His voice was as authoritative as always. “What, Laura? Is he okay?”
She was very close to crying now. “I don’t know.”
“What do you mean you don’t know?”
“He’s missing.”
There was a long silence that frightened Laura. “Missing?”
His voice was more full of dread than real surprise, like when you hear your friend who smokes three packs a day has developed lung cancer. Tragic and yet obvious. She waited for him to say more, to request all the details as he usually did, but he remained quiet. Finally she spoke.
“He left me a note that he had gone swimming. That was two days ago.”
“Oh, God,” he mumbled. His words formed into a sharp needle that punctured Laura’s skin. Gone was the confident voice that was her father’s trademark. She could feel him struggling to regain his normal tone, but the sound was hollow, distant. “Why didn’t you call sooner? Have you contacted the police?”
“They’re looking for him now. I called T.C. He arrived a few hours ago.”
“I’ll catch the next flight. I’ll be there—”
“No, that’s okay. There’s nothing you can do here.”
“But—”
“Really, Dad, I’m okay. But please don’t tell Mom.”
“What could I tell her? She doesn’t even know you’re in Australia. Everybody’s wondering where you and David are.”
“Just keep the elopement a secret for a little while longer. Is Mom there?”
Dr. Ayars froze. “No.”
“Where is she?”
“She’s in Los Angeles for the week,” he said. “Laura, are you sure you don’t want me to fly out there?”
“No, really, I’ll be fine. I’m sure we’ll find him soon. He’s probably just pulling another stunt.”
Again, there was silence. Laura waited for him to agree with her, to say of course David would be back, to tell her to stop worrying like a typical wife. But he didn’t. Where was his comforting voice of reason? Where was the man who was supposed to be strong for everyone else? Her father—the man who was always calm, always in control, the man who had seen death and suffering on both a professional and personal level for his entire life and had never let it affect his cool exterior—was strangely without words.
“I’ll call you as soon as I know something,” she said while a small voice in her head told her that her father didn’t need to be informed, that he already knew what the outcome was going to be. But that was silly. She was just overtired and frightened. This whole episode was turning her brain into mush.
“Okay,” Dr. James Ayars replied, defeated, crushed.
“Is there something else, Dad?”
“No,” Dr. Ayars said mechanically. “I’m sure every- thing will work out for the best.”
Laura listened to his words, puzzled. The best? She suddenly felt very cold.
“Is Gloria around?”
“No, your sister’s working late again. You should be very proud of her.”
“I am,” Laura replied. “When’s Mom going to be home?”
“A few days. Are you sure you don’t want me to fly over?”
“I’m sure. Good-bye, Dad.”
“Good-bye, Laura. If you need anything . . .”
“I’ll let you know.”
Laura heard her father replace the receiver.
SHE tried not to let the conversation bother her. After all, there was nothing specific in his words, nothing concrete her father had said or done that she could truly call troublesome. And yet the feeling that something was wrong—very wrong—lay like a heavy weight in her stomach. She opened her purse, rifled through its contents, came up empty.
God, why had she ever quit smoking?
Again she glanced out the window, away from the beach and toward the start of the Australian bush. She remembered once when she and David had decided to slip out of their city-slicker facade and head out into the New England bush. Because he had grown up in Michigan, David had had some experience with camping out. He enthusiastically billed it as a weekend away from the world. Laura, who had been a content city dweller all of her years, saw it as more of a chance to sleep in the dirt with a lot of bugs.
