Poles Apart
Page 52
“And be like Dad?” he retorted. “You want me to be like him and watch my kid and her mum struggle while I just go on living my life? I wouldn’t have thought you’d wish that on anyone seeing as you went through it once.”
Her tough exterior faltered, her eyes twitched as her lips parted. “Of course not. I don’t want anyone to struggle like we did, but you don’t have to do this. You should do a paternity test. If the little girl really is yours, then you can see they’re all right for money. This doesn’t have to ruin your life,” she said, her voice softer and calmer now.
I looked up at Carson, actually willing him to listen to her. He wouldn’t listen to me when I said the same thing; maybe her being angry like this would actually make him see sense.
Carson’s arm snaked around my waist and I was tugged closer to him, pressing against his side. “They’re not ruining my life. Sasha is mine. Emma and I are getting married. Everyone else and their opinions can go fuck themselves for all I care.”
Jillian threw her hands up in exasperation. “I can’t believe this. Honestly, this is ludicrous. I refuse to stand by and watch you throw your life away for that!” she stated, jabbing an accusing finger at me on the word ‘that’.
“Then don’t watch,” Carson answered calmly as he raised his chin confidently.
They scowled at each other for an agonising couple of seconds, locked in some kind of battle of the stares, before Jillian sighed and looked away. “Come on, Kimberly, we’re leaving. Let’s let your brother make his own mistakes,” she stated, turning on her heel and marching out of the room.
Kimberly immediately stood and smiled sadly. “I’ll call you later, Carson. It was nice to finally meet you, Emma.”
I gasped and shook my head as she walked out the door, too. I didn’t want to break up his family; I didn’t want them to fall out over me. “Carson, go after her! Don’t leave things like this, it’s not right,” I pleaded.
He ground his teeth, glaring at the door with rage-filled eyes. “I’m not going after her. If she wants to come back and apologise to you then she can. If not then screw her, too.”
“That’s your mother! She loves you and just wants the best for you, that’s all,” I persuaded.
“If she loves me then she’ll support me and my choices.”
I closed my eyes as an empty feeling settled in my heart. I had never wanted to hurt Carson or take things away from him, and now it appeared he was close to losing his family because of me. I hated myself for it.
“I’m not worth you losing your family for,” I croaked as the emotion bubbled over and the tears finally fell.
He sighed deeply, pulling me against his chest and wrapping his arms around me tightly. I buried my face against his shoulder and cried silently for the hopelessness in this whole situation. “You’re my family now, Emma. And I won’t lose you, not because people are too narrow-minded and quick to judge before they’ve even gotten to know you. If she’d taken the time to talk to you, she’d see you’re sweet and adorable, kind and caring. It’s her loss if she chooses not to know you.” While he spoke, his hand slid up my back, holding the back of my head, tangling his fingers into my hair.
“Sorry, I forgot my bag.”
I jerked back quickly, seeing his mother standing in the doorway, watching us awkwardly. Through my blurry, tear-filled eyes I saw she was crying, too. Wordlessly, she marched over to us and stooped to pick up her handbag from the floor where she’d left it. I silently begged Carson to say something, to make this right, to fix his family before it was too late – but apparently he wasn’t going to concede. His eyes were narrowed in anger, and every muscle in his body appeared to be taut with stress.
I cleared my throat, willing my voice to work. “Mrs Matthews, don’t leave it like this, please? Can’t you two just talk or something?”
She sighed and turned to me. “What difference does it make to you? Surely it’s better for you if he cuts off from his family. It’ll be easier for you to get your hands on his money then,” she replied.
I pushed away from Carson, stepping closer to her, deciding to tell her the truth. “I fell out with my parents a few years ago. I lost any relationship I had with them. They look at me exactly how you do, and although I pretend like it doesn’t, it actually hurts to think that I don’t have that support there. I don’t want Carson to go through that, especially not because of me. Please?” I begged.
Her eyes met mine, and I could see the indecision there as she pondered over what I’d said. When they left mine, they flicked to Carson and her chin trembled as cracks started to show in her hard exterior. “Maybe I was a little too quick to judge,” she whispered. Her attention turned back to me. “Maybe I should get to know you before I make assumptions about your morals and your intentions.”
I nodded in agreement, feeling the smile twitch at the corner of my mouth. I wasn’t stupid enough to think I would ever get her approval, but that didn’t matter, as long as Carson didn’t lose his family over this.
Carson stepped forward, setting his hand on my shoulder. “Look, just leave it for now, all right? We’ve all had a shock and have a lot to take in. Call me tomorrow or something,” he suggested uncomfortably. I could still hear the anger in his tone, but he was trying to disguise it.
Jillian sighed. “I didn’t mean to be harsh; I’m just saying what everyone else is thinking.” She shouldered her bag and stood tall, raising her chin, her hard exterior now back. “I’ll speak to you tomorrow then.”
Her tough exterior faltered, her eyes twitched as her lips parted. “Of course not. I don’t want anyone to struggle like we did, but you don’t have to do this. You should do a paternity test. If the little girl really is yours, then you can see they’re all right for money. This doesn’t have to ruin your life,” she said, her voice softer and calmer now.
I looked up at Carson, actually willing him to listen to her. He wouldn’t listen to me when I said the same thing; maybe her being angry like this would actually make him see sense.
Carson’s arm snaked around my waist and I was tugged closer to him, pressing against his side. “They’re not ruining my life. Sasha is mine. Emma and I are getting married. Everyone else and their opinions can go fuck themselves for all I care.”
Jillian threw her hands up in exasperation. “I can’t believe this. Honestly, this is ludicrous. I refuse to stand by and watch you throw your life away for that!” she stated, jabbing an accusing finger at me on the word ‘that’.
“Then don’t watch,” Carson answered calmly as he raised his chin confidently.
They scowled at each other for an agonising couple of seconds, locked in some kind of battle of the stares, before Jillian sighed and looked away. “Come on, Kimberly, we’re leaving. Let’s let your brother make his own mistakes,” she stated, turning on her heel and marching out of the room.
Kimberly immediately stood and smiled sadly. “I’ll call you later, Carson. It was nice to finally meet you, Emma.”
I gasped and shook my head as she walked out the door, too. I didn’t want to break up his family; I didn’t want them to fall out over me. “Carson, go after her! Don’t leave things like this, it’s not right,” I pleaded.
He ground his teeth, glaring at the door with rage-filled eyes. “I’m not going after her. If she wants to come back and apologise to you then she can. If not then screw her, too.”
“That’s your mother! She loves you and just wants the best for you, that’s all,” I persuaded.
“If she loves me then she’ll support me and my choices.”
I closed my eyes as an empty feeling settled in my heart. I had never wanted to hurt Carson or take things away from him, and now it appeared he was close to losing his family because of me. I hated myself for it.
“I’m not worth you losing your family for,” I croaked as the emotion bubbled over and the tears finally fell.
He sighed deeply, pulling me against his chest and wrapping his arms around me tightly. I buried my face against his shoulder and cried silently for the hopelessness in this whole situation. “You’re my family now, Emma. And I won’t lose you, not because people are too narrow-minded and quick to judge before they’ve even gotten to know you. If she’d taken the time to talk to you, she’d see you’re sweet and adorable, kind and caring. It’s her loss if she chooses not to know you.” While he spoke, his hand slid up my back, holding the back of my head, tangling his fingers into my hair.
“Sorry, I forgot my bag.”
I jerked back quickly, seeing his mother standing in the doorway, watching us awkwardly. Through my blurry, tear-filled eyes I saw she was crying, too. Wordlessly, she marched over to us and stooped to pick up her handbag from the floor where she’d left it. I silently begged Carson to say something, to make this right, to fix his family before it was too late – but apparently he wasn’t going to concede. His eyes were narrowed in anger, and every muscle in his body appeared to be taut with stress.
I cleared my throat, willing my voice to work. “Mrs Matthews, don’t leave it like this, please? Can’t you two just talk or something?”
She sighed and turned to me. “What difference does it make to you? Surely it’s better for you if he cuts off from his family. It’ll be easier for you to get your hands on his money then,” she replied.
I pushed away from Carson, stepping closer to her, deciding to tell her the truth. “I fell out with my parents a few years ago. I lost any relationship I had with them. They look at me exactly how you do, and although I pretend like it doesn’t, it actually hurts to think that I don’t have that support there. I don’t want Carson to go through that, especially not because of me. Please?” I begged.
Her eyes met mine, and I could see the indecision there as she pondered over what I’d said. When they left mine, they flicked to Carson and her chin trembled as cracks started to show in her hard exterior. “Maybe I was a little too quick to judge,” she whispered. Her attention turned back to me. “Maybe I should get to know you before I make assumptions about your morals and your intentions.”
I nodded in agreement, feeling the smile twitch at the corner of my mouth. I wasn’t stupid enough to think I would ever get her approval, but that didn’t matter, as long as Carson didn’t lose his family over this.
Carson stepped forward, setting his hand on my shoulder. “Look, just leave it for now, all right? We’ve all had a shock and have a lot to take in. Call me tomorrow or something,” he suggested uncomfortably. I could still hear the anger in his tone, but he was trying to disguise it.
Jillian sighed. “I didn’t mean to be harsh; I’m just saying what everyone else is thinking.” She shouldered her bag and stood tall, raising her chin, her hard exterior now back. “I’ll speak to you tomorrow then.”
