Pretend

Page 56

“That’s going too far—”
Mason couldn’t help but cut Gavin off. “Fuck you, Isaac. You don’t know what I want. Just because things aren’t going the way you want, don’t try and pretend you know what’s best for me. That you’ve ever cared about what anyone wants, other than yourself. You say I’m thinking with my dick and maybe I am, but you’re thinking with your wallet instead of what’s best for his physical well-being.”
“He wants to work! And he has us. Don’t you think landing this deal would make him feel good? He won’t be the one out there putting in the work. I will. I’ll take it all on if I need to. This is what he wanted when he opened Alexander’s. He wanted this for you, but you’re too busy feeling sorry for yourself because you think genetics is what makes a family! You’re too busy punishing them to—”
“Hey, now.” Gavin pushed to his feet but Mason was already there. He grabbed ahold of Isaac, pulled him up and shoved him against the wall.
Isaac and Mason were comparable in size, but the man didn’t try and fight him off. “Finally, there’s the fucking man I’m used to seeing in you. I had to piss you off for you to show it. You know I’m right, Mase. You—”
“Stop it! Stop it right now before your father hears you both!” The frantic, high-pitched cry in his mom’s voice almost didn’t get through to Mason. His body was wound up too tight. His brain ran in too many directions at once.
Was Isaac right? Was he trying to punish his parents because he wasn’t theirs? Could he really not get past genetics?
“Come on, boss. Let him go. Don’t do this here.” Gavin touched his arm and when he did, Mason’s hand fell from its hold on Isaac. He turned to see his mom’s hand shaking as she held it in front of her mouth, crying. Jesus, what was wrong with him? He’d almost just kicked Isaac’s ass in his family’s dining room.
“Come on.” Gavin’s hands came down on his shoulders. “Take a walk with me. Let’s go cool down.”
Mason needed to do just that.
***
“Fuck!” Mason yelled as soon as they were a good distance away from the house. They were in the garden, out back. Mason held his palms flat against a tree, leaning on it, his forehead pressed to the bark. “Tell me I don’t want to move forward with this new restaurant for the right reasons, Gav. Tell me it’s not because I’m only thinking about myself or because I’m pissed at them.”
Gavin didn’t know how to answer that. “I think your heart is in the right place. I think you want to do what’s best, and I think you’re trying to do what’s best. I also think the people in that house don’t know you as well as they think they do. Maybe you haven’t let them know you as well as you should. They see someone who wants completely different things when they look at you than what I see. Until they understand that, you’re going to keep going rounds.”
Gavin wrapped his arms around Mason from behind. “You’re hurt, too. Sometimes we don’t see clearly when we’re hurt. Until you deal with it, nothing’s going to change.”
Damned if those words didn’t ring true to Gavin, too. They grew roots, inside him, made their home because he wasn’t doing anything to change his situation, either.
“Do I think it’s a good idea to buy another restaurant? From what I’ve seen, no, but what do I really know? Maybe they need the money, and maybe it really will help your dad feel better. I do know that whether they buy one or not, you don’t have to work in them. I understand your commitment to your family by trying, though.”
Mason sighed. “Why the hell is dealing with family so hard?”
“Because we love them and want the best for them, and sometimes that hurts us.”
Gavin leaned back to give Mason space when he turned around. He had his back to the tree now. He hooked his finger in the loop of Gavin’s pants and tugged. “You’re smart. I knew there was a reason I liked you so much.”
“I thought it was for my cock and my music.”
“That, too. You make things feel better, music man. It doesn’t feel so fucked up with you around. It’s not about work and money and obligations with you. It’s about want.”
Gavin’s chest got full. His body temperature kicked up. That was probably the best compliment he’d ever been given. It turned him inside out. Reflected in his eyes. “Damned, if I don’t feel the same way about you.”