Pretties
Page 15
Her throat still stung from yelling, but Tally said hoarsely, "Never."
"All I ask is that you think about it. Take your time deciding - it's all the same to me. Just remember the way it felt falling through that ice. You can have that feeling every second." Dr. Cable waved a hand casually. "And if it makes a difference, I may even find space for your friend Zane. I've had my eye on him for some time. He was once of help to me."
A chill went through Tally and she shook her head. "No."
Dr. Cable nodded. "Yes. Zane was very forthcoming about David and the Smoke, that time he didn't run away."
She turned and disappeared into the trees.
BREAKUP
Tally stumbled back to the party.
The bonfire had grown bigger, its heat pushing back the revelers into a wide circle. Someone had requisitioned industrial-size logs of peat, big enough to burn through the Crims' collective carbon allowance for a month. The fire was topped off with fallen branches gathered from the park, and the hiss of still-green wood reminded Tally of cook-fires in the Smoke, when the water inside fresh-cut trees would boil, steam spitting out as if giving voice to the angry spirits of the forest.
She looked up at the column of smoke rising, ominously dark against the sky. That's how the Smoke had gotten its name. As Dr. Cable had said, the Smokies burned trees ripped alive from the ground. Human beings had been pulling that particular trick for thousands of years; a few centuries before, they'd almost put enough carbon in the air to screw up the climate for good. Only when someone had released an oil-transforming bacteria into the air had Rusty civilization been brought to a halt, and the planet saved.
And now, at their bubbliest, the Crims were instinctively headed in the same direction. Suddenly, the warm, cheery fire just made Tally feel worse.
She listened to the voices around her - bragging about how far they'd hoverbounced on the soccer field, debating who'd done the best interview for the feeds. Her unhappy conversation with Dr.
Cable had left Tally's senses sharpened; she could separate every sound, tease apart every strand of conversation. Suddenly the Crims all sounded foolish, repeating the stories of their petty victories to one another again and again. Just like pretties.
"Skinny?"
She turned from the fire to find Shay next to her.
"Is Zane okay?" Shay peered closer, and her eyes widened. "Tally-wa, you look..."
Tally didn't need her to finish, she could see it in Shay's eyes: She looked terrible. Tally smiled tiredly at this news. That was part of the cure, of course. She might still be gorgeous - her bone structure perfect, her skin flawless - but Tally's face revealed the turmoil inside. Now that she could think unpretty thoughts, she would no longer be beautiful every minute of the day Anger, fear, and anxiety were not pretty-making.
"Zane's all right. It's just me."
Shay leaned her weight against Tally, putting an arm around her. "Why so sad, Skinny? Tell me."
"It's just" - she glanced around at the boasting Crims - "it's everything, kind of."
Shay lowered her voice. "I thought today went perfectly."
"Sure. Perfect."
"Until Zane went and drank too much, of course. That's all it was, right?"
Tally made a noncommittal sound. She didn't want to lie to Shay. Eventually, she would tell her all about the cure, which •would mean explaining Zane's headaches.
Shay sighed, squeezing Tally harder. There was a moment of silence, and then she asked,
"Skinny, what happened to you guys up there?"
"Up where?"
"You know - when you climbed the transmission tower. It changed you, somehow."
Tally played with the scarf around her wrist, wishing she could tell her friend everything. But it was too risky to share news of the cure until they were safely outside the city. "I don't know what to say, Squint. It was really bubbly-making up there. You can see the whole island, and you can fall at any moment. Die, even. That makes a difference."
"I know," Shay whispered.
"You know what?"
"How it feels. I climbed the tower. Fausto and I figured out how to hack the minders, and last night I decided to go for it. To make myself bubbly for the breakthrough."
"Really?" Tally stared at her. Shay's face glowed with pride in the firelight, her implanted eye-jewels glittering. All the Crims were changing, but if Shay was hacking minders and scaling the Valentino tower, she was way ahead of the rest of them. "That's great. And you climbed up at night?"
"Only way to get away with it, since you and Zane got so totally busted. Fausto said I should wear a bungee jacket, but I wanted to do it like you did. I could have fallen - died, like you said. I even cut myself on a cable." With a smile, she showed a red mark that stretched across her palm, but then paused a moment, unpretty lines appearing on her forehead. "But it was kind of disappointing."
"How?"
"It didn't change me as much as I thought it would."
Tally shrugged. "Well, everyone's different..."
"I suppose so," Shay said softly. "But it made me wonder ... It wasn't just you guys climbing the tower, was it? There was something else that happened that day, Skinny. You'd never even hung out alone with Zane before, but since then you two have your own secret club, smiling at your own jokes and whispering all the time. You never go anywhere without each other."
"Squint...," Tally said, and sighed. "Sorry if we've been all coupley But, you know, it's my first crush as a pretty."
Shay stared at the fire. "That's what I thought, at first. But it's gone way past that, Tally. You're so different from the rest of us - both of you." Her voice rose above a whisper. "Zane gets those weird headaches that he tries to hide, and that was you screaming a minute ago, wasn't it?"
Tally swallowed.
"What changed you guys that day?"
Tally pointed at her wrist. "Shhh."
"Don't shush me! Jell me."
Tally looked around them nervously. The fire consumed more fallen branches, hissing loudly, and most of the Crims were singing drinking songs. No one had heard Shay's outburst, but Tally could feel the hard metal of the cuff around her wrist, always listening. "I can't tell you, Squint."
"Yes, you can." Shay's face seemed to change in the firelight, the pretty softness burning away as her anger grew. "You see, Tally, I remembered some things when I was up in that tower, staring down at the ground and wondering if I was going to die. And then I remembered a few more while I was falling through the ice and bouncing on the soccer field. A lot of things came back from ugly days. Isn't that great?"
Tally turned away from the harsh expression on Shay's face. "Yeah, sure it is."
"Glad you agree. So here's what I remembered: It's because of you that I'm here in the city, Tally. All those stories I used to tell? They were bogus. What really happened is that you followed me out to the Smoke to betray me, right?"
Tally felt it again, the same gut-punch as when she'd seen Dr. Cable in the trees: caught. From the moment she'd felt the pills working on her, Tally had known somewhere inside her that this moment would come, that Shay would eventually remember what had really happened back when they were uglies. But Tally hadn't expected it so soon. "Yeah, I followed you to bring you back here. It's my fault, what happened to the Smoke. The Specials tracked me there."
"Right, you betrayed us. After you stole David from me, of course." Shay laughed bitterly. "I hate to bring the whole David thing up, but who knows if I'll remember it tomorrow, you know? So I thought I'd mention it while I'm bubbly."
Tally turned to her. "You'll remember it."
Shay only shrugged. "Maybe. But tricks like today's don't come around that often. So you might be off the hook again by tomorrow."
Tally took a deep breath, inhaling the smell of wood smoke, burning peat, pine needles, and spilled champagne. The firelight revealed everything as bright as day, even the whorls of her fingerprints.
She didn't know what to say.
"Look at me," Shay said. Her flash tattoo was spinning hard, its halo of snakes blurring together like the spokes of a bicycle wheel. "Tell me what happened to you that day. Keep me bubbly. You owe me."
Tally swallowed. She and Zane had promised each other not to tell anyone - not yet. But neither of them had realized how far Shay had come - bubbly enough to climb the tower on her own, to finally remember what had really happened back in ugly days. Probably she could keep a secret, and telling her about the cure would give her hope, at least. It was the only way Tally could begin to make up for what she'd done.
And Shay was right: Tally owed her.
"Okay. Something else happened that day."
Shay nodded slowly. "I thought so. What was it?"
Tally pointed at Shay's scarf, and together they pulled it off and wrapped it tightly around Tally's wrist, another layer over the cuff. After another breath, she said in the softest whisper she could manage,
"We found a cure."
Shay's eyes narrowed. "It's about starving yourself, isn't it?"
"No. Well, that helps. Hunger, coffee, playing tricks - all that stuff Zane's been doing for months.
But the real cure is ... simpler than that."
"What is it? I'll do it."
"You can't."
"The hell with you, Tally!" Shay's eyes flashed. "If you can do it, I can!"
Tally shook her head. "It's a pill."
"A pill? Like vitamins?"
"No, a special pill. Croy brought it to me, the night of the Valentino bash. Try to remember, Shay. Before you and I came back to the city, Maddy had figured out how to reverse the operation. You helped me write a letter, remember?"
Shay's face went blank for a moment, then she frowned. "That's when I was pretty."
"Right. After we rescued you, when we were hiding out in the ruins."
"Funny, those days are harder to remember than back when I was ugly." Shay shook her head.
"Well, Maddy figured out a cure. But it was untested, dangerous. She wouldn't give it to you because you refused. You wanted to stay pretty. So I had to give myself up to test it. That's why I'm here."
"And Croy brought it to you a month ago?"
Tally nodded, taking Shays hand. "And it works. You've seen how it changed me and Zane. It makes us bubbly all the time. So once we get out of here, you can - " Shay's expression brought Tally to a halt. "What's the matter?"
"You and Zane both took some?"
"Yeah," Tally said. "There were two pills, and we split them. I was afraid to do it on my own."
Shay turned to the fire, pulling her hand away. "I can't believe you, Tally."
"What?"
Shay whirled to face her. "Why him? Why didn't you ask me?"
"But I - "
"You're supposed to be my friend, Tally. I've done everything for you. I was the one who first told you about the Smoke. I was the one who introduced you to David. And when you came to New Pretty Town, I helped you become one of the Crims. Did it even occur to you to share the cure with me?
It's your fault I'm like this, after all!"
Tally shook her head. "There wasn't time ... I didn't even - "
"No, of course you didn't," Shay spat. "You barely even knew Zane, but he was the leader of the Crims, so hooking up with him was the next trick on your list. Just like David out in the Smoke. That's why you split the cure with him."
"It wasn't like that!" Tally cried.
"All I ask is that you think about it. Take your time deciding - it's all the same to me. Just remember the way it felt falling through that ice. You can have that feeling every second." Dr. Cable waved a hand casually. "And if it makes a difference, I may even find space for your friend Zane. I've had my eye on him for some time. He was once of help to me."
A chill went through Tally and she shook her head. "No."
Dr. Cable nodded. "Yes. Zane was very forthcoming about David and the Smoke, that time he didn't run away."
She turned and disappeared into the trees.
BREAKUP
Tally stumbled back to the party.
The bonfire had grown bigger, its heat pushing back the revelers into a wide circle. Someone had requisitioned industrial-size logs of peat, big enough to burn through the Crims' collective carbon allowance for a month. The fire was topped off with fallen branches gathered from the park, and the hiss of still-green wood reminded Tally of cook-fires in the Smoke, when the water inside fresh-cut trees would boil, steam spitting out as if giving voice to the angry spirits of the forest.
She looked up at the column of smoke rising, ominously dark against the sky. That's how the Smoke had gotten its name. As Dr. Cable had said, the Smokies burned trees ripped alive from the ground. Human beings had been pulling that particular trick for thousands of years; a few centuries before, they'd almost put enough carbon in the air to screw up the climate for good. Only when someone had released an oil-transforming bacteria into the air had Rusty civilization been brought to a halt, and the planet saved.
And now, at their bubbliest, the Crims were instinctively headed in the same direction. Suddenly, the warm, cheery fire just made Tally feel worse.
She listened to the voices around her - bragging about how far they'd hoverbounced on the soccer field, debating who'd done the best interview for the feeds. Her unhappy conversation with Dr.
Cable had left Tally's senses sharpened; she could separate every sound, tease apart every strand of conversation. Suddenly the Crims all sounded foolish, repeating the stories of their petty victories to one another again and again. Just like pretties.
"Skinny?"
She turned from the fire to find Shay next to her.
"Is Zane okay?" Shay peered closer, and her eyes widened. "Tally-wa, you look..."
Tally didn't need her to finish, she could see it in Shay's eyes: She looked terrible. Tally smiled tiredly at this news. That was part of the cure, of course. She might still be gorgeous - her bone structure perfect, her skin flawless - but Tally's face revealed the turmoil inside. Now that she could think unpretty thoughts, she would no longer be beautiful every minute of the day Anger, fear, and anxiety were not pretty-making.
"Zane's all right. It's just me."
Shay leaned her weight against Tally, putting an arm around her. "Why so sad, Skinny? Tell me."
"It's just" - she glanced around at the boasting Crims - "it's everything, kind of."
Shay lowered her voice. "I thought today went perfectly."
"Sure. Perfect."
"Until Zane went and drank too much, of course. That's all it was, right?"
Tally made a noncommittal sound. She didn't want to lie to Shay. Eventually, she would tell her all about the cure, which •would mean explaining Zane's headaches.
Shay sighed, squeezing Tally harder. There was a moment of silence, and then she asked,
"Skinny, what happened to you guys up there?"
"Up where?"
"You know - when you climbed the transmission tower. It changed you, somehow."
Tally played with the scarf around her wrist, wishing she could tell her friend everything. But it was too risky to share news of the cure until they were safely outside the city. "I don't know what to say, Squint. It was really bubbly-making up there. You can see the whole island, and you can fall at any moment. Die, even. That makes a difference."
"I know," Shay whispered.
"You know what?"
"How it feels. I climbed the tower. Fausto and I figured out how to hack the minders, and last night I decided to go for it. To make myself bubbly for the breakthrough."
"Really?" Tally stared at her. Shay's face glowed with pride in the firelight, her implanted eye-jewels glittering. All the Crims were changing, but if Shay was hacking minders and scaling the Valentino tower, she was way ahead of the rest of them. "That's great. And you climbed up at night?"
"Only way to get away with it, since you and Zane got so totally busted. Fausto said I should wear a bungee jacket, but I wanted to do it like you did. I could have fallen - died, like you said. I even cut myself on a cable." With a smile, she showed a red mark that stretched across her palm, but then paused a moment, unpretty lines appearing on her forehead. "But it was kind of disappointing."
"How?"
"It didn't change me as much as I thought it would."
Tally shrugged. "Well, everyone's different..."
"I suppose so," Shay said softly. "But it made me wonder ... It wasn't just you guys climbing the tower, was it? There was something else that happened that day, Skinny. You'd never even hung out alone with Zane before, but since then you two have your own secret club, smiling at your own jokes and whispering all the time. You never go anywhere without each other."
"Squint...," Tally said, and sighed. "Sorry if we've been all coupley But, you know, it's my first crush as a pretty."
Shay stared at the fire. "That's what I thought, at first. But it's gone way past that, Tally. You're so different from the rest of us - both of you." Her voice rose above a whisper. "Zane gets those weird headaches that he tries to hide, and that was you screaming a minute ago, wasn't it?"
Tally swallowed.
"What changed you guys that day?"
Tally pointed at her wrist. "Shhh."
"Don't shush me! Jell me."
Tally looked around them nervously. The fire consumed more fallen branches, hissing loudly, and most of the Crims were singing drinking songs. No one had heard Shay's outburst, but Tally could feel the hard metal of the cuff around her wrist, always listening. "I can't tell you, Squint."
"Yes, you can." Shay's face seemed to change in the firelight, the pretty softness burning away as her anger grew. "You see, Tally, I remembered some things when I was up in that tower, staring down at the ground and wondering if I was going to die. And then I remembered a few more while I was falling through the ice and bouncing on the soccer field. A lot of things came back from ugly days. Isn't that great?"
Tally turned away from the harsh expression on Shay's face. "Yeah, sure it is."
"Glad you agree. So here's what I remembered: It's because of you that I'm here in the city, Tally. All those stories I used to tell? They were bogus. What really happened is that you followed me out to the Smoke to betray me, right?"
Tally felt it again, the same gut-punch as when she'd seen Dr. Cable in the trees: caught. From the moment she'd felt the pills working on her, Tally had known somewhere inside her that this moment would come, that Shay would eventually remember what had really happened back when they were uglies. But Tally hadn't expected it so soon. "Yeah, I followed you to bring you back here. It's my fault, what happened to the Smoke. The Specials tracked me there."
"Right, you betrayed us. After you stole David from me, of course." Shay laughed bitterly. "I hate to bring the whole David thing up, but who knows if I'll remember it tomorrow, you know? So I thought I'd mention it while I'm bubbly."
Tally turned to her. "You'll remember it."
Shay only shrugged. "Maybe. But tricks like today's don't come around that often. So you might be off the hook again by tomorrow."
Tally took a deep breath, inhaling the smell of wood smoke, burning peat, pine needles, and spilled champagne. The firelight revealed everything as bright as day, even the whorls of her fingerprints.
She didn't know what to say.
"Look at me," Shay said. Her flash tattoo was spinning hard, its halo of snakes blurring together like the spokes of a bicycle wheel. "Tell me what happened to you that day. Keep me bubbly. You owe me."
Tally swallowed. She and Zane had promised each other not to tell anyone - not yet. But neither of them had realized how far Shay had come - bubbly enough to climb the tower on her own, to finally remember what had really happened back in ugly days. Probably she could keep a secret, and telling her about the cure would give her hope, at least. It was the only way Tally could begin to make up for what she'd done.
And Shay was right: Tally owed her.
"Okay. Something else happened that day."
Shay nodded slowly. "I thought so. What was it?"
Tally pointed at Shay's scarf, and together they pulled it off and wrapped it tightly around Tally's wrist, another layer over the cuff. After another breath, she said in the softest whisper she could manage,
"We found a cure."
Shay's eyes narrowed. "It's about starving yourself, isn't it?"
"No. Well, that helps. Hunger, coffee, playing tricks - all that stuff Zane's been doing for months.
But the real cure is ... simpler than that."
"What is it? I'll do it."
"You can't."
"The hell with you, Tally!" Shay's eyes flashed. "If you can do it, I can!"
Tally shook her head. "It's a pill."
"A pill? Like vitamins?"
"No, a special pill. Croy brought it to me, the night of the Valentino bash. Try to remember, Shay. Before you and I came back to the city, Maddy had figured out how to reverse the operation. You helped me write a letter, remember?"
Shay's face went blank for a moment, then she frowned. "That's when I was pretty."
"Right. After we rescued you, when we were hiding out in the ruins."
"Funny, those days are harder to remember than back when I was ugly." Shay shook her head.
"Well, Maddy figured out a cure. But it was untested, dangerous. She wouldn't give it to you because you refused. You wanted to stay pretty. So I had to give myself up to test it. That's why I'm here."
"And Croy brought it to you a month ago?"
Tally nodded, taking Shays hand. "And it works. You've seen how it changed me and Zane. It makes us bubbly all the time. So once we get out of here, you can - " Shay's expression brought Tally to a halt. "What's the matter?"
"You and Zane both took some?"
"Yeah," Tally said. "There were two pills, and we split them. I was afraid to do it on my own."
Shay turned to the fire, pulling her hand away. "I can't believe you, Tally."
"What?"
Shay whirled to face her. "Why him? Why didn't you ask me?"
"But I - "
"You're supposed to be my friend, Tally. I've done everything for you. I was the one who first told you about the Smoke. I was the one who introduced you to David. And when you came to New Pretty Town, I helped you become one of the Crims. Did it even occur to you to share the cure with me?
It's your fault I'm like this, after all!"
Tally shook her head. "There wasn't time ... I didn't even - "
"No, of course you didn't," Shay spat. "You barely even knew Zane, but he was the leader of the Crims, so hooking up with him was the next trick on your list. Just like David out in the Smoke. That's why you split the cure with him."
"It wasn't like that!" Tally cried.
