Prince Lestat
Page 100
From Sevraine’s mind there came a fully realized image of this boy.
He was looking directly at me in this image, a young man with my square face and somewhat short nose, and my unruly blond hair. Those blue eyes seemed my eyes and yet they weren’t my eyes. They were his own. That was my mouth, all right, sensuous, and a little large for the face, but it had nothing of the cruelty of my mouth. Just a beautiful young boy, in spite of looking like me, a beautiful young man. The face vanished. And I saw a flash of images now of this young man perhaps as Sevraine had once seen him, striding along an American street, dressed in regular clothes, jeans, a sweater, sneakers, a healthy, glowing young man.
Pain. Unspeakable pain.
It didn’t matter who in this world or any other was staring at me, watching me, seeking to share this moment or merely shuddering as I experienced it. Just didn’t matter. Because in pain like this one is always alone.
“I have another shock for you,” said Sevraine.
I didn’t reply.
“There is a young woman with Viktor whom you also love,” said Sevraine. “Her name is Rose.”
“Rose?” I whispered. “Not my Rose!” This pain was rolling suddenly towards fury. “How in God’s name did they get their hands on my Rose?”
“Let me tell you,” said Sevraine. “Let me explain.” Then slowly in a low voice she told me what had befallen Rose. She told me how my attorneys were trying to reach me, but then I’d been ignoring all “worldly messages of late,” and she recounted the details of an assault on Rose, her blindness, the scarring of her face and throat, and how she had cried out for me over and over in her agony, and how Seth had heard that cry, how Fareed had heard it, and how, on my behalf, they had intervened.
Oh, Death, you are so determined to have my beloved Rose. Death, you cannot stop seeking to take my precious Rose.
“The girl was given just enough of the Blood to cure her blindness,” said Sevraine. “But never enough to take root in her. Just enough of the Blood to heal her esophagus, heal her skin. But never enough to begin the transformation. She’s still fully human and she loves your son, and he loves her.”
I think I murmured something like “This is all Fareed’s doing,” but my heart wasn’t in it. I didn’t care. I absolutely didn’t care. The rage was gone. Only the pain remained. I kept seeing the image of the boy and I needed no one to give me an image of my beloved Rose, my sweet brave Rose, who’d been so happy when I last saw her, my tender, loving Rose whom I’d given up for her sake, knowing that she was now too old to be near me anymore, too old to be confused by what I was. My Rose. And Viktor.
“These things are now commonly known,” said Sevraine, “because this boy and this girl have been brought by Fareed and Seth to join the others. And you must go there too. Leave Maharet to her own resources. The meeting is what matters. Whatever happens to Maharet, the Voice will still be the challenge. And tomorrow at sunrise, we must go.”
I sat still staring at the surface of the table, thinking of what all this might mean.
A long moment passed and then Eleni said tenderly, “Please, do come with us to join the others. It’s past time for us to be there.”
I glanced at her, at her eager face and that of Eugénie beside her. And my eyes passed over the strangely expressive faces of Raymond Gallant and then Gremt. How infinitely more human they seemed than the rest of us.
“Listen to me,” said Gabrielle impatiently. “You can’t conceivably respond to all these revelations now. No one can. But be assured that this girl, Rose, is on the verge of madness as always happens with those who know too much of us. Viktor on the other hand has always known you were his father, and he grew up with his mother’s love and knows what she is too. So let’s be on our way tomorrow night to resolve this, if nothing else, and then the matter of the Voice.”
I nodded, trying not to show a bitter smile. What a hand they had played! Had it been deliberate? Calculating? Didn’t much matter in the scheme of things. It was what it was.
“You think these matters are more important than the Voice?” I asked. “You think these matters cannot wait a little longer? I don’t know what I think. I can’t think. My mind’s not made up.”
“I think if you return to Maharet,” said Gabrielle, “you’ll be very disappointed at what you find out. And she may very well destroy you.”
“Tell me what you know now!” I said. I was suddenly furious. “Tell me now.”
“What matters is what all of us know when we gather,” said Gabrielle. She was as angry as I was. “Not what I suspect, or what fragmentary images I’ve caught or someone else has caught. Don’t you understand? We’re facing a worse crisis than we did last time, can’t you see that? But we have Sevraine, and this ancient one Seth, who’s even older than she is, and who knows who else? We should go to them, not to Maharet.”
“And you knew I had a son and you never told me,” I said suddenly, impulsively, “and you knew what had happened to my Rose.”
“Stop, Lestat, please,” said Sevraine. “You’re hurting my ears. Your mother only found these things out from me and went to fetch you immediately and bring you here as I asked. You have been living in your own well-fortified and solitary world. You gave no hint that any of this concerned you. Now come with us to join the others as we ask.”
“I want to find David and Jesse …,” I said.
“David and Jesse have joined the others,” said Gremt.
“And what do you know of Maharet right now!” I demanded. I hit the table with my fist.
“I’m not omniscient,” said Gremt quietly. “I could leave this body and I could travel there—invisible, silent—easily enough. But I’ve forsworn that power. I’ve trained myself to walk and talk and see and hear as a human being. And besides, whatever is happening with Maharet, none of us can change.”
I pushed back the chair and rose to my feet. “I have to be alone now,” I said. “This is all simply too much. I have to wander out there, be alone.… I don’t know what I’ll do. We have several hours more to talk about it. I want to be alone. You should go on to New York, that’s certain. All of you should go. And you should fight this Voice with all your power. As for me, I don’t know.”
Sevraine rose and came around the table and took me by the arm.
He was looking directly at me in this image, a young man with my square face and somewhat short nose, and my unruly blond hair. Those blue eyes seemed my eyes and yet they weren’t my eyes. They were his own. That was my mouth, all right, sensuous, and a little large for the face, but it had nothing of the cruelty of my mouth. Just a beautiful young boy, in spite of looking like me, a beautiful young man. The face vanished. And I saw a flash of images now of this young man perhaps as Sevraine had once seen him, striding along an American street, dressed in regular clothes, jeans, a sweater, sneakers, a healthy, glowing young man.
Pain. Unspeakable pain.
It didn’t matter who in this world or any other was staring at me, watching me, seeking to share this moment or merely shuddering as I experienced it. Just didn’t matter. Because in pain like this one is always alone.
“I have another shock for you,” said Sevraine.
I didn’t reply.
“There is a young woman with Viktor whom you also love,” said Sevraine. “Her name is Rose.”
“Rose?” I whispered. “Not my Rose!” This pain was rolling suddenly towards fury. “How in God’s name did they get their hands on my Rose?”
“Let me tell you,” said Sevraine. “Let me explain.” Then slowly in a low voice she told me what had befallen Rose. She told me how my attorneys were trying to reach me, but then I’d been ignoring all “worldly messages of late,” and she recounted the details of an assault on Rose, her blindness, the scarring of her face and throat, and how she had cried out for me over and over in her agony, and how Seth had heard that cry, how Fareed had heard it, and how, on my behalf, they had intervened.
Oh, Death, you are so determined to have my beloved Rose. Death, you cannot stop seeking to take my precious Rose.
“The girl was given just enough of the Blood to cure her blindness,” said Sevraine. “But never enough to take root in her. Just enough of the Blood to heal her esophagus, heal her skin. But never enough to begin the transformation. She’s still fully human and she loves your son, and he loves her.”
I think I murmured something like “This is all Fareed’s doing,” but my heart wasn’t in it. I didn’t care. I absolutely didn’t care. The rage was gone. Only the pain remained. I kept seeing the image of the boy and I needed no one to give me an image of my beloved Rose, my sweet brave Rose, who’d been so happy when I last saw her, my tender, loving Rose whom I’d given up for her sake, knowing that she was now too old to be near me anymore, too old to be confused by what I was. My Rose. And Viktor.
“These things are now commonly known,” said Sevraine, “because this boy and this girl have been brought by Fareed and Seth to join the others. And you must go there too. Leave Maharet to her own resources. The meeting is what matters. Whatever happens to Maharet, the Voice will still be the challenge. And tomorrow at sunrise, we must go.”
I sat still staring at the surface of the table, thinking of what all this might mean.
A long moment passed and then Eleni said tenderly, “Please, do come with us to join the others. It’s past time for us to be there.”
I glanced at her, at her eager face and that of Eugénie beside her. And my eyes passed over the strangely expressive faces of Raymond Gallant and then Gremt. How infinitely more human they seemed than the rest of us.
“Listen to me,” said Gabrielle impatiently. “You can’t conceivably respond to all these revelations now. No one can. But be assured that this girl, Rose, is on the verge of madness as always happens with those who know too much of us. Viktor on the other hand has always known you were his father, and he grew up with his mother’s love and knows what she is too. So let’s be on our way tomorrow night to resolve this, if nothing else, and then the matter of the Voice.”
I nodded, trying not to show a bitter smile. What a hand they had played! Had it been deliberate? Calculating? Didn’t much matter in the scheme of things. It was what it was.
“You think these matters are more important than the Voice?” I asked. “You think these matters cannot wait a little longer? I don’t know what I think. I can’t think. My mind’s not made up.”
“I think if you return to Maharet,” said Gabrielle, “you’ll be very disappointed at what you find out. And she may very well destroy you.”
“Tell me what you know now!” I said. I was suddenly furious. “Tell me now.”
“What matters is what all of us know when we gather,” said Gabrielle. She was as angry as I was. “Not what I suspect, or what fragmentary images I’ve caught or someone else has caught. Don’t you understand? We’re facing a worse crisis than we did last time, can’t you see that? But we have Sevraine, and this ancient one Seth, who’s even older than she is, and who knows who else? We should go to them, not to Maharet.”
“And you knew I had a son and you never told me,” I said suddenly, impulsively, “and you knew what had happened to my Rose.”
“Stop, Lestat, please,” said Sevraine. “You’re hurting my ears. Your mother only found these things out from me and went to fetch you immediately and bring you here as I asked. You have been living in your own well-fortified and solitary world. You gave no hint that any of this concerned you. Now come with us to join the others as we ask.”
“I want to find David and Jesse …,” I said.
“David and Jesse have joined the others,” said Gremt.
“And what do you know of Maharet right now!” I demanded. I hit the table with my fist.
“I’m not omniscient,” said Gremt quietly. “I could leave this body and I could travel there—invisible, silent—easily enough. But I’ve forsworn that power. I’ve trained myself to walk and talk and see and hear as a human being. And besides, whatever is happening with Maharet, none of us can change.”
I pushed back the chair and rose to my feet. “I have to be alone now,” I said. “This is all simply too much. I have to wander out there, be alone.… I don’t know what I’ll do. We have several hours more to talk about it. I want to be alone. You should go on to New York, that’s certain. All of you should go. And you should fight this Voice with all your power. As for me, I don’t know.”
Sevraine rose and came around the table and took me by the arm.
