Pushing the Limits

Page 30

She was a genius. She drew Antonio and Maria, locked in an embrace. The picture on the paper looked like it could come to life. How could she accomplish something like that in such a short period of time?
Beth sat at the table and began to roll a joint. I wanted Echo out of here, immediately. “I haven’t shown you where Isaiah and I live yet.”
“Hold on a sec. I want to get this shading right.” Echo was lost in her world and oblivious to me. Hell, Beth had never rolled a J that fast before. She placed it in her mouth and lit it. The familiar smell drifted into the room, catching everyone’s attention, including Echo’s.
Echo watched as Beth inhaled and held her breath. Since living here, I’d never refused a hit, but there was no way I was going to do this in front of Echo. Beth released the smoke. Her lips twisted up as she held the joint out to Echo. “Want some?”
Everyone in the room watched and waited patiently for their turn, thus putting Echo on the spot. Her foot tapped against the floor and she laid the sketch pad on the table, shoving it toward Antonio. “No, thanks.” Her eyes shot sharply to me. “Don’t let me stop you.”
Nice, exactly what I hoped to avoid. I held my hand out to her. “Come on.”
Echo
I claimed Noah’s hand, giving Beth a wink as I let him lead me away. Being nice to Beth had gotten me nowhere and for once, it felt good to be nasty. The scowl on her face was worth whatever cosmic payback I’d get later.
Noah opened the basement door and motioned for me to head down first. The temperature dropped at least twenty degrees the moment my feet hit the concrete floor. A box spring and mattress lay against the corner of the wall. An old plaid couch faced the bed and a television sat on the wall between them. Jeans and T-shirts were folded in two laundry baskets.
The door shut behind us and the wooden steps groaned with Noah’s heavy footfalls. I shoved my hands in my pockets and surveyed the ceiling. My neck twinged with the image of the hundreds of tiny spiders waiting to assault me.
“What do you think?” he asked.
“It’s … ah … cozy.” I’m sure the spiders loved it. Along with those strange bugs that curled into a ball when you touched them.
Noah swept my hair behind my shoulder and placed a delicious kiss on the nape of my neck. “Liar,” he whispered in my ear.
Ugh—moral choice: couch or bed, couch or bed? The decision was taken out of my hands as Noah hooked a finger on my back belt loop and tugged me, backward, toward the bed. His arms snaked around my waist and pulled me down alongside him.
Noah propped himself up on his elbow, his wicked grin in place. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted to see you on this bed?”
“Nope.” The hem of my sweater rode up from our fall, exposing my belly button. Noah traced circles onto the skin of my stomach, down to the material of my low-rise jeans. His touch sent a combination of tickles and chills through my body. My heart sped up and I struggled to keep my breathing normal.
Every Noah rumor had been right. His kisses curled my toes and now his simple touch rocked my body. Fear mingled with the pleasure in my bloodstream. “Noah?”
“Yes?” His dark eyes followed his fingers as they teased my belly button.
“When did you start smoking pot?”
He laid his palm flat against my tummy. “You’re going to make me work for this.”
I nodded, afraid I’d squeak instead of answering. Things were moving fast, way too fast for a slow girl like me.
Noah kicked off his shoes and inched up the bed to the pillows. “Come on.” My hand shook when I unzipped my black boots and lined them neatly on the floor next to his tossed-upside-down shoes. Why was I so nervous? This was Noah— study with, talk to, laugh and plot with Noah.
As I crawled up the bed to sit beside him, my pterodactyl butterflies somersaulted in my stomach. Good God, he was gorgeous and I was in bed with him. I leaned my back against the wall, pulling my knees to my chest. He lay. I sat. No, this wasn’t awkward.
Noah’s smile faltered. “Don’t do that, Echo.”
I raked a shivering hand through my hair and fought to control my voice. “Do what?”
He clutched my hand and gently rubbed his fingers over it. “Be scared of me.”
Noah sat up a little and I sank low enough to rest my head on his shoulder. I could compromise. “I’m not scared of you.” What you do to my body, maybe, but not you.
“What are you afraid of?”
“You answer my question first.”
He stretched his arm around my shoulder and settled his head against mine, enveloping me in a warm little bubble. “I was a lot like Luke my freshman year—the basketball star, the guy who dated all the right girls and had all the right friends … I tried to remain that person my sophomore year, but no matter how hard I tried, I kept failing. I couldn’t stay on a sports team because I couldn’t afford the equipment or my foster parents would make it impossible for me to make practices or games. Finally, I got tired of working so hard to fail, so I quit. One day a guy asked me if I wanted a hit, so …” He trailed off.
So, Noah smoked pot. I drank beer. We made a beautiful couple. “I’ll never smoke pot or do drugs. I don’t want to do anything that messes with the mind. It’s a delicate thing.”
Because I was terrified to do anything that would flip the switch that would make me like my mother. Studies suggested there was anywhere between a four and twenty-four percent chance I’d inherit her manic little genes. “If you’re going to try to get custody of your brothers, aren’t you scared they’re going to do a drug test at some point? I mean, if I was the judge, I would.”
He had been feathering kisses into my hair, causing goose bumps on the back of my neck, when he abruptly stopped. “I guess you’re right.”
I pulled away and stared into his eyes. “I don’t care that you smoke pot. I mean, I’m not going to join you and I’d prefer to hang out with you when you’re sober, but I’m not looking to change you.”
Noah shifted so that his hair fell into his eyes and kept his face expressionless, not even a smile. He scratched at the stubble on his face. “Why didn’t you go to Hoffman?”
“Because my father thinks art is as evil as the devil himself.” And that if I continued to indulge my talents, I’d turn exactly into my mother.
“That makes no sense.”
No, it didn’t, but what could I do? “My mom was an artist. He associates her talent with her behavior.”
Noah tugged on a curl. “You’re not crazy.”
I tried to force a reassuring smile onto my face, but came up short. “My mom came off her meds because they inhibited her creativity. For every painting my mom accomplished, I could tell you the time frame of her manic episode. Like when I turned nine and instead of taking the time to sing happy birthday, she painted the Parthenon on our living room wall. You can’t blame my dad for wanting to protect me from becoming someone who could do this.” I held out my sleeved arms as proof.
Noah reached for my arms, but I snapped them away. He pressed his lips together and then unexpectedly yanked off his shirt, revealing all of his six-pack glory. He thrust his bicep in my face.
I sucked in air. “Oh, God, Noah.” A circle of red skin protruded from his arm, the same exact size as—my stomach dropped— a cigar. I reached out to touch it then withdrew my hand.
“It’s okay. You can touch it. It stopped hurting a few days after it happened. It won’t bite your fingers off. It’s a scar. Nothing more. Nothing less.”
I placed my fingers over my mouth, swallowing bile. “What happened?”
“Foster parent number one. My fault. I decided to go hero and keep him from beating his biological kid.” He said it so plainly, so matter-of-factly, as if branding happened to everyone. “And this—” Noah touched the top tip of his tattoo on his other arm “—is from where I used my body to protect Tyler and Jacob from debris falling in the fire.”
The one-inch wide scar ran down the middle of his cross tattoo and stopped at the bottom edge. The top of the scar continued onto his back. I tore my eyes away from it to study the design of his tattoo. A single rose weaved through the black Celtic cross. Each tip of the cross bore the name of his mother, father or brothers. The heaviness in my chest squeezed my lungs. I traced the line of the cross, not the scar.
“It’s a beautiful tribute to them.” I couldn’t imagine losing everything. At least I still had my father. I might have to jump through hoops for the rest of my life to please him, but at least for the moment, I still had … I think … his love.
Noah took the hand tracing his tattoo and kissed my fingers. “Yes, it is. My parents would be proud of each scar.”
My eyes snapped to his. “I didn’t mean … I meant the … tattoo.”
He licked his lips before flashing a mischievous smile. “I know. I showed you mine, now it’s time you showed me yours.”
I shook my head back and forth before he even finished his statement. “It’s not the same. You’re strong. You helped people. I … I trusted the wrong person and then I go all pathetic and don’t remember a thing. Anyhow, you’re a guy. Scars on guys are, like, sexy. Scars on girls … that’s just … ugly.” And there, I said it—out loud.
His hold on my hand tightened and his eyes darkened into thunderclouds. “Fuck that. There is no shame in trusting your mother. She fucked up. Not you. And as for that pathetic bullshit—fuck that, too. You are not pathetic. You had the guts to return to school and continue to live your life like nothing happened. Me? I lost it all and flushed anything left of me down the damn toilet. Now that’s pathetic.”
Noah released my hand and advanced on me like an angry lion. In lightning-fast movements he wrapped his arms around my waist and laid me flat on the bed. My heart pounded as he hovered over me. “Baby, no one would ever make the mistake of using the word ugly with you. Especially with me around.” He pushed the curls off my face, his fingers leaving a burning trail. “Everything about you is beautiful and sexy as hell.”
I turned my head to the side, unable to hold his gaze. “There’s more.” Because there’s always more. My mother guaranteed that. I grabbed the hem of my sweater and before I lost my nerve, tugged the material over my head and twisted slightly, revealing not only my black lace bra and arms, but the one scar no one but my mother and father knew existed.
Noah’s fingers lightly touched the long thick ridge below my left shoulder blade. His voice pitched low. “I’m sorry, baby.”
“No one else knows, Noah. Not even Lila.”
He kissed my back as he slid his hand over the scars on my arm. “You’re beautiful,” he whispered against my skin. Noah lifted my arm and kept eye contact as his mouth trailed kisses along the scars. Pure hunger darkened those chocolate-brown eyes. “Kiss me.”
Raw emotions and the need to hold him close overwhelmed me. Every part of me ached for him—my mind, my soul and my body. Without hesitation, I closed the gap between us and pressed my lips eagerly to his.