Pushing the Limits

Page 34

“Possibly.” She gave me another smile. “Echo, this is Dr. Reed.”
A.K.A. the relaxation therapist Ashley had handpicked. The short man stood and shook my hand. “How are you doing today, Echo?”
Terrible. “Fine.”
“You’ll be more relaxed if you lie down,” said Mrs. Collins.
It took every ounce of strength to not immediately hop onto the bed. My fingers drummed nervously in my pockets and my heart thundered. I’d show her.
She tilted her head. “I think Noah’s rubbing off on you. Now that you’ve proven to me you’re overcoming being a pushover, which I’ll take credit for, would you please lie down?”
Since she asked nicely and my heart surged like a heart attack … “Sure.”
Mrs. Collins dimmed the lights while I lay down on the uncomfortable, plastic-covered bed. A nice thick comforter lay at the end and a fluffy pillow at the head. I cocked an eyebrow.
“I wanted you to be comfortable.”
A couple of candles sat on the counter next to the sink. “Are you going to light candles?”
“I was.” She sighed. “But I’m not feeling very candlish right now. Did you tell your father that we could be a while? I don’t want him upset with me when you don’t come home at your normal time.”
Now I sighed. “Yes. Mr. Overbearing is fully aware and I’m under direct orders to call him the moment I’m done.”
She chuckled. “Me, too. Mr. Overbearing, hmmm? It definitely has a ring.” Mrs. Collins lost her playful tone as she spoke to Dr. Reed. “Whenever you’re ready.”
Grabbing the comforter and fluffing the pillow, I snuggled down like a bear preparing for hibernation. If I was really going to do this, I might as well be warm.
Dr. Reed started off with some breathing and meditative exercises. After a while, my mind began to wander and his voice became this soothing, magnetic sound. “Tell me when you last felt safe, Echo. Really, really safe.”
“Noah makes me feel safe.”
I followed the smooth and reassuring voice as I imagined Noah’s warm, strong body and sweet musky scent enveloping me in his safe protective bubble.
“Dig deep, Echo. Very, very deep.” He continued to calmly speak. I burrowed deeper into the covers and listened to his voice prod my mind to discover that one time I felt safe. Memories flipped like a slide show until I found one that warmed my heart.
“Aires made me feel safe.” He hid with me in the closet several times when my mother suffered from a particularly energized manic episode. By the time Aires found me, my father had taken care of my mother, but I refused to leave the closet. He’d stay with me and read stories by flashlight until I fell asleep.
“Ashley.” Funny, my voice sounded like my own and the world seemed far away. As a child, the sight of Ashley meant games, warm baths and dinners, normal bedtime stories and nighttime songs.
“Daddy.” My protector. My savior. He convinced my mother to take her medication and she did. For him. She loved him. He made us a family and during those dark moments when my mother’s illness threatened to rip us apart, he held me. Like in the hospital, when I couldn’t sleep, terrified of the first wave of nightmares, he lay with me in bed and held me, whispering over and over again how much he loved me.
The scene in my mind altered. I was safe. Somehow I knew that, but this … something was off … wrong …
Moonlight bathed my mother’s living room, reflecting off thousands of pieces of glass scattering the floor.
Warm liquid trickled down my arms and I fought to breathe through the sobs of pain. Burning pain. Tearing pain. Throbbing pain. Every muscle screamed and my throat ran raw with each sensation. Struggling to keep upright on my hands and knees, I compelled myself forward. I couldn’t let my eyes close. I couldn’t.
But my eyelids were heavy and so were my muscles. I could rest. For a few seconds. Yes, I could rest.
I gave in to the weight of my body, collapsing onto the glass-filled serenity of the floor. If I didn’t move, the glass could no longer shred me to pieces. I breathed with the slow steady rhythm of my heart and let my mind wander to other thoughts beyond pain and blood. Sleep. Yes. I needed sleep.
No! I forced my eyes open and blinked rapidly to focus. Edges of the clear glass now shone with red—blood. My blood.
“Daddy!” I whispered. Daddy should be here by now. I sent out a plea in my head, begging him to somehow hear me and know….
I focused on the door, but there was no way I could make it. Not now. My legs were dead to me—no control, no movement.
My arms. I could still move my arms, but the pain. “Oh, God!” The pain.
“I’m so sorry, Echo. I never should have let you stand up, but the pain will be over soon.” Ignoring the glass, my mother lay down beside me, settling her head on the floor inches from mine. Her wide, glazed-over eyes held a hint of concern.
“Don’t cry.” Her callused fingers wiped the tears off my face. “We’ll be with Aires soon and then there will be no more pain or sadness. Only joy and happiness and we’ll be able to paint— you and I—and Aires will be able to tinker with as many cars as he wants.”
I hardly recognized my own voice, hoarse and shaky. “I don’t want to die, Momma. Please, don’t let me die.”
“Shhh,” she cooed. “Don’t think of it as dying.” She yawned and her eyelids fluttered. “We’re going to sleep and when we wake, we’ll be with your brother again.”
She smiled and I sobbed, “Oh, God, Daddy.”
My stomach sank. I’d never see my dad again. My father, who was supposed to pick me up, my father, who I prayed over and over again would walk through that door as promised. Please, Daddy, please. I need you.
“I’ll tell you a story, just like I did when you were a baby. Cassandra had a beautiful daughter named Andromeda….”
I opened my eyes and blinked several times. Mrs. Collins stood in the door frame and Dr. Reed sat in the chair next to the sickbed. I kicked off the comforter. Sweat dripped down the side of my face. Blood hammered my head and my heart thrashed in the same rhythm. My skin stung as I peeled myself off the bed and my body felt light after experiencing the heaviness of the memory.
Cold air slapped me and disoriented my body and mind. I had fallen and shattered one of the stained glass windows my mother had propped in the living room, but why? Was it an accident? It couldn’t have been, because she seemed so calm and peaceful … resolved. But she’d apologized.
“Daddy,” I whispered. Tears stung my eyes and I immediately sought Mrs. Collins for an explanation. There had to be an explanation because he wouldn’t have left me there—never. My throat closed and swallowing wouldn’t open it up. “Where was he?”
Mrs. Collins said, “I think we’ve done enough for today.”
I waved my hand in the air, refusing that answer. “No. No. I remembered something and now it’s your turn.”
“I understand your frustration, but your mind needs to handle this slowly.”
A strange uneasiness clawed at my heart and everything within me twisted and dropped. A single word tore at my heart … betrayal. “Where was my father!”
From behind Mrs. Collins came my father’s voice. “I forgot to pick you up.”
NOAH
I wandered the hallways for twenty minutes. Echo had radiated nerves. I wanted to give her plenty of time to make it to the sickroom and be well underway before I attempted the office.
“Aires made me feel safe.” Echo’s voice carried to the front office. Dammit, Mrs. Collins had kept the door to the sickroom open. In theory, there would have been no need to close the door because the school should have been abandoned.
“Ashley.” I froze. Echo sounded drowsy. Part of me wanted to stay there and listen, but then I wouldn’t have a chance to find both of our answers.
My mother would sure be proud of me—breaking into my counselor’s office, though I reminded myself that her door hung wide open. I tried to shove away the guilt eating at my gut, but it faded the moment I saw my name poking out from underneath two other files.
I grabbed the folder and immediately flipped it to the page with my brothers’ information. On the back of one of the college brochures Mrs. Collins gave me, I copied their data, careful not to miss a single piece.
“Noah. What are you doing here?” Mr. Emerson scared the crap out of me, but I emptied all emotion from my face, discreetly closing my file before I spun around.
I held up my brochures. “College planning.” Might as well rack up some brownie points.
“Good.” He glanced back into the main office. “Good for you.”
“I don’t want to die, Momma. Please, don’t let me die.” Echo’s distressed voice vibrated down the hallway. I could hear the underlying terror. Both Mr. Emerson and I took a step toward the sickroom. Our simultaneous movements caught each other’s attention. She screamed, “Oh, God, Daddy!”
Mr. Emerson turned a weird shade of gray. “I think you should go.”
My heart beat faster. Muscles tense, I glared at Mr. Emerson, waiting for him to give me some sort of explanation for why the girl I loved was screaming his name in panic and desperation.
He placed a hand on the wall and leaned into it. “Go on, Noah.”
Should I go or should I stay? If I stayed, I’d have to explain my presence, risking being caught, and losing the information on my brothers. I also risked an argument with her father.
If I left, I was a dick. Not the champion Echo needed me to be. I’d make it up to her. I’d find a way. I left the office and dialed Echo’s cell.
“It’s me. You know what to do,” said her sweet voice.
“Hey, baby. Call me when you can. I …” Love you. “I need to hear your voice.”
Echo
“You forgot to pick me up?” Everything inside of me became as hard as a rock and just as numb. “Like you forgot to pick up eggs at the store or clothes at the dry cleaners? Like you forgot to pick up a piece of cereal that fell on the floor or a can that fell out of the grocery bag? You forgot to pick me up.”
My father tugged his ear and kept his gaze on the floor. “I, uh …” He cleared his throat. “Ashley had her high school reunion that night and we were running late from the art show. I dropped you off at your mother’s so you could tell her about winning the Governor’s Cup and time got away from me.”
My eyes flickered between my father and Mrs. Collins. Dr. Reed shifted, but I ignored him. Mrs. Collins stood uncharacteristically still, her eyes glued on me.
“Which was it?” I demanded. “Time got away or you forgot to pick me up?”
His Adam’s apple bounced when he swallowed. The chaos in my head cleared for an instant as the lightbulb went on. “You were supposed to drop her off at the reunion, then come and get me. It was supposed to be a short visit, but Ashley convinced you to stay.”
He barely nodded. “I’m sorry, Echo.”