Raging Star
Page 37
They take away yer baby, she whispers.
The attachment of parents to their child is powerful, says Mercy.
So if you was to … take yer baby back from the Pathfinder, from the babyhouse, I says, that would be a powerful thing to do. That would start to shake the mountain. Any mother an father doin that is bein disobedient to the Pathfinder an New Eden. They’re takin a risk. A big one. Whoever does it is gonna have fear. But their desire fer their child will be greater than their fear. Once they have their child, an they’ve conquered their fear once, they’ll start to lose their fear. He controls by fear. If people don’t fear him no more, his power goes.
I wait fer a moment. To let all that sink in. To see if I can tell what they’re thinkin. Have I got to them? Moved them?
Mercy an me’s gonna go on a recce to the babyhouse tonight, I says. We’ll take a child if it looks possible. I’m askin fer yer help. You know the girls here. We need yer inside knowledge.
Cassie laughs. A dry huff of breath, nuthin more. Us? she says. Help you? Work with you? What, you mean like Bram did? Becuz that turned out so well, didn’t it?
I’m sorry, Cassie, I says. I am most truly sorry.
She says, Yer truly sorry an he’s truly dead an his body’s still unner the rock where you left it. An I’m paired with a new man, a stranger who sleeps in my bed an watches me with hawk eyes an that’s how it goes in New Eden.
Vain Ed says, A woman whose man disappears fer no reason is suspect.
Cassie speaks with tight care. To her skirt, to her sleeves, as she tidies what’s already perfectly tidy. You took everythin from me an now you want more, she says. You’ve had all yer gonna git from me. I let Bram go with you to rescue yer sister. He never came back. An you didn’t even have the decency to come an tell me he was dead. I had to hear it from a stranger. From Jack. At least he knows how to treat people right.
Cassie never liked me, never trusted me, an she never made no bones about it. Now she hates me. Bitterly. I’ve known the lash of her tongue before, but I’m feelin a bit sick from this onslaught. I glance to Jack. He gives me a what-can-I-do? look. Mercy clasps her hands knuckle-white on her lap. She cain’t speak up fer me, I gotta take this on the chin. But her eyes steady my spirit.
That was wrong of me, I says. I should of come. An I meant to, but—
But what? Cassie’s on her feet. She squares up to me. What? You had somethin better to do? she says.
No, I says, of course not. I’m sorry, Cassie, I should of come to you as soon as I could.
Well, you didn’t, she says. You can pack yer I’m sorrys an take ’em to hell with you.
If I was you, I’d probly hate me too, I says. But hangin on to blame won’t bring him back. It’s no way to honour his sacrifice.
Sacrifice! she hisses. You dare talk to me about sacrifice! She lunges an belts me. Slaps my face so hard that my head snaps back.
Jack takes a step. Mercy half-rises. I stop ’em with a hand. Cassie stares aghast, eyes wide. She didn’t plan to do that. Ed’s arm goes around her shoulders. His jaw dares me to touch her. My cheek flames an stings. I’m seein stars. But I welcome the hit an the pain. I’ll take them any day over the knife of her eyes.
I’m glad I didn’t hafta meet you in the Cage, I says. I deserved that. Please, can we try to work together? I hold out my hand. She looks at it. She looks at me. She’s set her face back to shun.
I am sorry, I says. I cain’t ever repay what I owe you. I cain’t ever make good yer loss, much as I want to. All I can do is try not to waste the chance that Bram gave us. I need yer help to do that. An, fer now, I believe you need mine. Please, Cassie. Let’s try this. If it works like I hope, you’ll all be able to carry it forwards on yer own. You won’t need me.
She goes back to the window to sit an stare out at nuthin. She’s finished with this. With me. That means the rest of them’s done with me as well. I read on Jack’s face what’s all too clear. My past mistakes damn me completely. What made me think I could win Cassie over? Comin here was a mistake. An maybe a dangerous one. If her hatred is hot enough to betray me.
I says, DeMalo is weak, but he believes he’s strong. Yer strong, but you believe yer weak. I nod a farewell. Let’s go, I says to Mercy.
As Jack lifts the hatch door, she gits up from her stool. She hesitates, then holds out her hand to Skeet. After a moment, he takes it. We never did git innerduced, she says. My name is Mercy. My home is Crosscreek. A sweet green valley that sleeps in the sun.
Her words shift his gaze into memory. He says, quietly—like he’s lyin in a bunk in a slave hut in the dark an he don’t want the guards to hear, like a chant he says inside hisself, over an over—he says, My name is Skeet. My home’s a cart. It’s got yellow wheels an a horse called Otis to pull it.
Shared trials forge instant bonds. Mercy lays her other hand atop their clasped ones. He does the same.
The girl ain’t perfect, my friend, she says. But she’s cut from rare cloth. I’ve pledged myself to her, come what may.
He says, JB here’s bin treedoggin fer a year or so. I bin with her a few months. We spoil a well, fire a hay barn, but they always come lookin fer us, beatin the woods with dogs. Sometimes they find one of our gaffs an fell the tree. We ain’t gonna git no faster, eh Junie B? Someday, maybe soon, our luck’ll run out. An they jest repair the damage an carry on an … funny, somehow I never stopped to ask myself if there might be another—maybe a better way.
When he’s done, there’s a awkward silence. That streamed outta him as if him an Mercy’s the oldest of comrades. Like they’d bin in the middle of a long conversation.
Maybe it’s time you did, says Mercy. Maybe it’s time we all did.
Their hands part. I move towards the ladder. I’ll go first an guide her down safely.
Hey Bo, ain’t there a girl went into the babyhouse a few days ago? Manuel speaks quickly, a bit too loudly. You know the one. I think she’s nearby the new turnpike.
I pause.
You mean that—oh, what is her name? Bo frowns an snaps her fingers. Dian, that’s it.
Vain Ed scratches his head. Naw, he says, that don’t sound right to me. Cherry?
Y’know, now I’m thinkin it could be Eula, says Manuel.
You three wouldn’t fool a child with that hopeless play actin. Cassie turns from the window. Her eyes meet mine in wary truce. Her name’s Rae, she says. She’s fifteen. She started havin pains a month before her time. I know her. I think she might go along with it. I’ll come with you.
Thanks, I says.
What about Hunter? says Bo. You won’t git out at night without him noticin.
Cassie’s lips tighten. He’s partial to a drink or five, she says. So long as I’m back by dawn.
My heart takes heart. The air starts to breathe. I don’t chance a handshake, but I give Cassie a small nod. She may never fergive me. We may never be friends. She may never entirely trust me. I don’t see all that as so bad. The only thing that matters is she’s willin to try an work together.
We’ll go as soon as it’s dark, I says. You an me an Mercy an Jack.
NIGHT FIVE
IT’S ANOTHER NIGHT OF RUMPUS IN THE SKY. THE STARS chase about in fiery disorder. We came by the fieldways, around the edges, in the shadowland. But we probly could of took the roads, checkpoints an all. After dark in starfall season, most people bolt the door. They won’t answer a knock fer fear of the shades on the roam. Lurkin here behind the stables, with our pale faces an dark clothes, we might well be mistook fer haunts. Beheaded in life maybe, searchin fer our lost bodies. Essept ghosts don’t breathe fog on a chilly night.
The attachment of parents to their child is powerful, says Mercy.
So if you was to … take yer baby back from the Pathfinder, from the babyhouse, I says, that would be a powerful thing to do. That would start to shake the mountain. Any mother an father doin that is bein disobedient to the Pathfinder an New Eden. They’re takin a risk. A big one. Whoever does it is gonna have fear. But their desire fer their child will be greater than their fear. Once they have their child, an they’ve conquered their fear once, they’ll start to lose their fear. He controls by fear. If people don’t fear him no more, his power goes.
I wait fer a moment. To let all that sink in. To see if I can tell what they’re thinkin. Have I got to them? Moved them?
Mercy an me’s gonna go on a recce to the babyhouse tonight, I says. We’ll take a child if it looks possible. I’m askin fer yer help. You know the girls here. We need yer inside knowledge.
Cassie laughs. A dry huff of breath, nuthin more. Us? she says. Help you? Work with you? What, you mean like Bram did? Becuz that turned out so well, didn’t it?
I’m sorry, Cassie, I says. I am most truly sorry.
She says, Yer truly sorry an he’s truly dead an his body’s still unner the rock where you left it. An I’m paired with a new man, a stranger who sleeps in my bed an watches me with hawk eyes an that’s how it goes in New Eden.
Vain Ed says, A woman whose man disappears fer no reason is suspect.
Cassie speaks with tight care. To her skirt, to her sleeves, as she tidies what’s already perfectly tidy. You took everythin from me an now you want more, she says. You’ve had all yer gonna git from me. I let Bram go with you to rescue yer sister. He never came back. An you didn’t even have the decency to come an tell me he was dead. I had to hear it from a stranger. From Jack. At least he knows how to treat people right.
Cassie never liked me, never trusted me, an she never made no bones about it. Now she hates me. Bitterly. I’ve known the lash of her tongue before, but I’m feelin a bit sick from this onslaught. I glance to Jack. He gives me a what-can-I-do? look. Mercy clasps her hands knuckle-white on her lap. She cain’t speak up fer me, I gotta take this on the chin. But her eyes steady my spirit.
That was wrong of me, I says. I should of come. An I meant to, but—
But what? Cassie’s on her feet. She squares up to me. What? You had somethin better to do? she says.
No, I says, of course not. I’m sorry, Cassie, I should of come to you as soon as I could.
Well, you didn’t, she says. You can pack yer I’m sorrys an take ’em to hell with you.
If I was you, I’d probly hate me too, I says. But hangin on to blame won’t bring him back. It’s no way to honour his sacrifice.
Sacrifice! she hisses. You dare talk to me about sacrifice! She lunges an belts me. Slaps my face so hard that my head snaps back.
Jack takes a step. Mercy half-rises. I stop ’em with a hand. Cassie stares aghast, eyes wide. She didn’t plan to do that. Ed’s arm goes around her shoulders. His jaw dares me to touch her. My cheek flames an stings. I’m seein stars. But I welcome the hit an the pain. I’ll take them any day over the knife of her eyes.
I’m glad I didn’t hafta meet you in the Cage, I says. I deserved that. Please, can we try to work together? I hold out my hand. She looks at it. She looks at me. She’s set her face back to shun.
I am sorry, I says. I cain’t ever repay what I owe you. I cain’t ever make good yer loss, much as I want to. All I can do is try not to waste the chance that Bram gave us. I need yer help to do that. An, fer now, I believe you need mine. Please, Cassie. Let’s try this. If it works like I hope, you’ll all be able to carry it forwards on yer own. You won’t need me.
She goes back to the window to sit an stare out at nuthin. She’s finished with this. With me. That means the rest of them’s done with me as well. I read on Jack’s face what’s all too clear. My past mistakes damn me completely. What made me think I could win Cassie over? Comin here was a mistake. An maybe a dangerous one. If her hatred is hot enough to betray me.
I says, DeMalo is weak, but he believes he’s strong. Yer strong, but you believe yer weak. I nod a farewell. Let’s go, I says to Mercy.
As Jack lifts the hatch door, she gits up from her stool. She hesitates, then holds out her hand to Skeet. After a moment, he takes it. We never did git innerduced, she says. My name is Mercy. My home is Crosscreek. A sweet green valley that sleeps in the sun.
Her words shift his gaze into memory. He says, quietly—like he’s lyin in a bunk in a slave hut in the dark an he don’t want the guards to hear, like a chant he says inside hisself, over an over—he says, My name is Skeet. My home’s a cart. It’s got yellow wheels an a horse called Otis to pull it.
Shared trials forge instant bonds. Mercy lays her other hand atop their clasped ones. He does the same.
The girl ain’t perfect, my friend, she says. But she’s cut from rare cloth. I’ve pledged myself to her, come what may.
He says, JB here’s bin treedoggin fer a year or so. I bin with her a few months. We spoil a well, fire a hay barn, but they always come lookin fer us, beatin the woods with dogs. Sometimes they find one of our gaffs an fell the tree. We ain’t gonna git no faster, eh Junie B? Someday, maybe soon, our luck’ll run out. An they jest repair the damage an carry on an … funny, somehow I never stopped to ask myself if there might be another—maybe a better way.
When he’s done, there’s a awkward silence. That streamed outta him as if him an Mercy’s the oldest of comrades. Like they’d bin in the middle of a long conversation.
Maybe it’s time you did, says Mercy. Maybe it’s time we all did.
Their hands part. I move towards the ladder. I’ll go first an guide her down safely.
Hey Bo, ain’t there a girl went into the babyhouse a few days ago? Manuel speaks quickly, a bit too loudly. You know the one. I think she’s nearby the new turnpike.
I pause.
You mean that—oh, what is her name? Bo frowns an snaps her fingers. Dian, that’s it.
Vain Ed scratches his head. Naw, he says, that don’t sound right to me. Cherry?
Y’know, now I’m thinkin it could be Eula, says Manuel.
You three wouldn’t fool a child with that hopeless play actin. Cassie turns from the window. Her eyes meet mine in wary truce. Her name’s Rae, she says. She’s fifteen. She started havin pains a month before her time. I know her. I think she might go along with it. I’ll come with you.
Thanks, I says.
What about Hunter? says Bo. You won’t git out at night without him noticin.
Cassie’s lips tighten. He’s partial to a drink or five, she says. So long as I’m back by dawn.
My heart takes heart. The air starts to breathe. I don’t chance a handshake, but I give Cassie a small nod. She may never fergive me. We may never be friends. She may never entirely trust me. I don’t see all that as so bad. The only thing that matters is she’s willin to try an work together.
We’ll go as soon as it’s dark, I says. You an me an Mercy an Jack.
NIGHT FIVE
IT’S ANOTHER NIGHT OF RUMPUS IN THE SKY. THE STARS chase about in fiery disorder. We came by the fieldways, around the edges, in the shadowland. But we probly could of took the roads, checkpoints an all. After dark in starfall season, most people bolt the door. They won’t answer a knock fer fear of the shades on the roam. Lurkin here behind the stables, with our pale faces an dark clothes, we might well be mistook fer haunts. Beheaded in life maybe, searchin fer our lost bodies. Essept ghosts don’t breathe fog on a chilly night.
