Raging Star
Page 46
A traitor among us. One of us. These are my only people in the world. The poison I’m talkin burns in my mouth.
I cain’t see it myself but, okay, says Slim, here you go. Do one thing about it. I ain’t sayin what, that’s yer decision. Do that one thing, quick an easy, then leave it, see what happens. Somethin’s bound to. Remember, fer every action, there’s a reaction.
Right, I says.
But don’t jump to no conclusions, he says, an don’t go accusin nobody, no matter what it looks like at this point. Bide yer time.
We ain’t got time, I says.
The words let go their hold. They drop darkly from my lips. We-ain’t-got-time. They land, light-footed, an they’re off. Four words runnin to the four way. North south east west. Never to be caught.
Slim’s dead still. He sniffs the air, the warm kindness of the day. Grizzled old beasts, wily in the world, scent the comin storm while the children play on. I had the idea it might be so, he says. How long we got?
The blood moon, I says. Don’t ask me no more.
Blood moon, he says. That’s four nights from now. If I was you, Angel, I’d gimme somethin to do, pronto.
I sent Ash an Creed to git Auriel an bring her to Nass Camp, I says. I’m countin on her still bein at the Snake with her refugees. You probly know some of ’em.
Most of ’em, he says. Seein how I bin here all my life.
We need the strongest of ’em back here right away, I says.
Nass Camp’s a good call, he says. It’s well offa the beaten track.
If you an Molly could go there an make it ready, I says. Git in some supplies on the way. They’ll be tired an hungry an might well need yer doctor skills.
What’s the plan once you got ’em there? he says.
Accordin to DeMalo, I says, they ain’t good enough to live in New Eden. Accordin to us, they are. We’re gonna smuggle ’em back in. Once they’re spread about New Eden, we’ll have everybody we need in place. Mothers an fathers, brothers an sisters, new babies, old neighbours an friends—
Then we make a big gawdamnn rumble, says Slim. Jest like you said. I take it you know how that’s gonna play out.
Fear slashes through me. I grab his hand. Clutch it tight to my chest. He’s warm. Solid. Wise. I look at him. Sudden tears blur my eyes.
Hey hey, he says. What’s all this?
I don’t know, I whisper. Slim, I dunno what comes next. That’s why I need Auriel, I need her right away. She’ll know what I hafta do, she’ll see it in the stars. We ain’t got long, an it’s gotta work or—
I stop myself before I lose it completely. I let go his hand. I scrub my eyes, swipe my nose, git my breath in control.
There’s such concern, such compassion in his face. He goes to hug me, but I take a step back. Oh my dear, he says. What heavy burden you bear.
Please don’t be kind, I cain’t take it, I says. Jest tell me I ain’t made a terrible mistake. Tell me we can do this.
He takes my hand in both of his. We will do this, he says. We are doin this. It’s all comin together. I got faith in you, Angel. I always have done. An I ain’t no fool, all appearances to the contrary. He kisses my hand. Me an Molly better go, he says.
Hurry, Slim, please, I says.
He’s already on his way to the yard. He calls over his shoulder, with a wave an a smile, We’re halfways there already!
Late in the game. The endgame. I know, I know, I cain’t fergit it fer a moment. The blood moon’s only four nights away. Tomorrow today will be yesterday. I’m fast runnin outta tomorrows.
An there might be a traitor among us.
Me an Tracker find Tommo at the coldwater pond. We find him bathin, his back turned to us. All around him, the still water shatters the sunlight. It dances his hair blue-black. Blazes him to sleek gold smoothness. This is a day to make the heart ache. Such unbearable beauty on the skin of life.
I kneel in the grass at the pond’s edge an wash him a wave through the water. As he feels it, he whirls around. His eyes go wide. He dunks hisself to the neck. Excuse me, d’you mind? he says.
He’s flushed dark red to the tips of his ears. His tone’s so outraged that, despite my worries, my mouth twitches to smile. Like I ain’t seen him shirtless plenty of times. Or, fer that matter, caught a glimpse of his backside more’n once. He’ll of seen the same of me. After all, we bin at close quarters fer months now. But I open my hands in apology. Sorry, I says.
Whaddya want? he says.
I move my lips slowly as I speak. So’s he don’t miss a single word. I want you to come with me tonight, I tell him. We need to check out Edenhome.
Okay, he says. Be glad to.
I feel like a heel. The lowest of the low. To ever think of suspectin Tommo, cord in his pack or no. He’s kind. Gentle. One of life’s good guys. An stout-hearted loyal to a fault. All Tommo’s ever wanted is to belong. He’d never do nuthin to break bonds with us. Even me, no matter that I treated him rough.
It warn’t till he met Ike a few years back that he broke bonds with his father. The man who left his young son at their camp, tellin him not to move from that place, he’d be back soon with meat fer the pot. The father who never came back. Who must of met with some mischance that took his life. We didn’t learn this from Tommo, of course. Ike told us. An that was the full of what he knew. Ike figgered Tommo led a stray’s life till he found his way to the One-Eyed Man stables one winter’s night. Ike found him huddled in the straw, half-starved, an from that moment Tommo belonged with Ike Twelvetrees.
Now he belongs with us.
I realize he’s said somethin. Sorry, I says, I missed that.
A little smile curves his mouth. Was there … somethin else? he says.
My face flushes hot. I bin starin at him all this time an he’s half-naked. He’ll git the wrong idea fer sure.
No, I says. Uh … no no, that’s all. See you later.
I git to my feet an head back to the yard. Aware that he’s watchin me go. If that had bin anybody else, I’d say he was flirtin with me. Albeit in a bashful, not sure of hisself kinda way. But Tommo don’t flirt. He’s way too serious.
An he’d never play such a mean trick. Still. I gotta use my head fer this, not jest my heart an gut. We’ll go to Edenhome tonight. I’ll watch how he is. Drop a few hints. See what happens.
I follow the sounds of a hammer on metal an find Peg bangin some bit of a car into shape fer a washtub. She barks at me she’s busy, she’s promised it to some Steward fer quick delivery. But I ask her anyways. Could she hold off ridin her junk circuit fer a day or two an stay with Emmi while the rest of us go off? I ain’t hardly finished when she’s gabblin, Yes yes, why didn’t you ask me in the first place? Which don’t make no sense, but Peg rarely does. An quick as a wink she’s downed tools an rushed off to the field on top of the hill. Any excuse to mess about with that aircrate of hers.
I fill my tin from Slim’s never-stop stewpot. Then I climb the ladder to Peg’s ropewalk. I sit myself down, hemmed in by birdcages, an look out over the Lanes. I’m dog-hungry. I shovel it down. But fer all my hunger, I’m done with it after a few bites. My belly’s too jittered to eat.
I know not everythin is about me. But, when you git right down to it, I’m a uneasy sun fer anybody to be circlin. Particularly them I depend on most. Creed. Ash. Tommo. Molly. Mercy. Slim. Even Emmi an Lugh. Somehow or other, my actions have scorched the souls of every last one of ’em. So far, I’ve jest about managed to keep ’em with me. But maybe not fer much longer.
I cain’t see it myself but, okay, says Slim, here you go. Do one thing about it. I ain’t sayin what, that’s yer decision. Do that one thing, quick an easy, then leave it, see what happens. Somethin’s bound to. Remember, fer every action, there’s a reaction.
Right, I says.
But don’t jump to no conclusions, he says, an don’t go accusin nobody, no matter what it looks like at this point. Bide yer time.
We ain’t got time, I says.
The words let go their hold. They drop darkly from my lips. We-ain’t-got-time. They land, light-footed, an they’re off. Four words runnin to the four way. North south east west. Never to be caught.
Slim’s dead still. He sniffs the air, the warm kindness of the day. Grizzled old beasts, wily in the world, scent the comin storm while the children play on. I had the idea it might be so, he says. How long we got?
The blood moon, I says. Don’t ask me no more.
Blood moon, he says. That’s four nights from now. If I was you, Angel, I’d gimme somethin to do, pronto.
I sent Ash an Creed to git Auriel an bring her to Nass Camp, I says. I’m countin on her still bein at the Snake with her refugees. You probly know some of ’em.
Most of ’em, he says. Seein how I bin here all my life.
We need the strongest of ’em back here right away, I says.
Nass Camp’s a good call, he says. It’s well offa the beaten track.
If you an Molly could go there an make it ready, I says. Git in some supplies on the way. They’ll be tired an hungry an might well need yer doctor skills.
What’s the plan once you got ’em there? he says.
Accordin to DeMalo, I says, they ain’t good enough to live in New Eden. Accordin to us, they are. We’re gonna smuggle ’em back in. Once they’re spread about New Eden, we’ll have everybody we need in place. Mothers an fathers, brothers an sisters, new babies, old neighbours an friends—
Then we make a big gawdamnn rumble, says Slim. Jest like you said. I take it you know how that’s gonna play out.
Fear slashes through me. I grab his hand. Clutch it tight to my chest. He’s warm. Solid. Wise. I look at him. Sudden tears blur my eyes.
Hey hey, he says. What’s all this?
I don’t know, I whisper. Slim, I dunno what comes next. That’s why I need Auriel, I need her right away. She’ll know what I hafta do, she’ll see it in the stars. We ain’t got long, an it’s gotta work or—
I stop myself before I lose it completely. I let go his hand. I scrub my eyes, swipe my nose, git my breath in control.
There’s such concern, such compassion in his face. He goes to hug me, but I take a step back. Oh my dear, he says. What heavy burden you bear.
Please don’t be kind, I cain’t take it, I says. Jest tell me I ain’t made a terrible mistake. Tell me we can do this.
He takes my hand in both of his. We will do this, he says. We are doin this. It’s all comin together. I got faith in you, Angel. I always have done. An I ain’t no fool, all appearances to the contrary. He kisses my hand. Me an Molly better go, he says.
Hurry, Slim, please, I says.
He’s already on his way to the yard. He calls over his shoulder, with a wave an a smile, We’re halfways there already!
Late in the game. The endgame. I know, I know, I cain’t fergit it fer a moment. The blood moon’s only four nights away. Tomorrow today will be yesterday. I’m fast runnin outta tomorrows.
An there might be a traitor among us.
Me an Tracker find Tommo at the coldwater pond. We find him bathin, his back turned to us. All around him, the still water shatters the sunlight. It dances his hair blue-black. Blazes him to sleek gold smoothness. This is a day to make the heart ache. Such unbearable beauty on the skin of life.
I kneel in the grass at the pond’s edge an wash him a wave through the water. As he feels it, he whirls around. His eyes go wide. He dunks hisself to the neck. Excuse me, d’you mind? he says.
He’s flushed dark red to the tips of his ears. His tone’s so outraged that, despite my worries, my mouth twitches to smile. Like I ain’t seen him shirtless plenty of times. Or, fer that matter, caught a glimpse of his backside more’n once. He’ll of seen the same of me. After all, we bin at close quarters fer months now. But I open my hands in apology. Sorry, I says.
Whaddya want? he says.
I move my lips slowly as I speak. So’s he don’t miss a single word. I want you to come with me tonight, I tell him. We need to check out Edenhome.
Okay, he says. Be glad to.
I feel like a heel. The lowest of the low. To ever think of suspectin Tommo, cord in his pack or no. He’s kind. Gentle. One of life’s good guys. An stout-hearted loyal to a fault. All Tommo’s ever wanted is to belong. He’d never do nuthin to break bonds with us. Even me, no matter that I treated him rough.
It warn’t till he met Ike a few years back that he broke bonds with his father. The man who left his young son at their camp, tellin him not to move from that place, he’d be back soon with meat fer the pot. The father who never came back. Who must of met with some mischance that took his life. We didn’t learn this from Tommo, of course. Ike told us. An that was the full of what he knew. Ike figgered Tommo led a stray’s life till he found his way to the One-Eyed Man stables one winter’s night. Ike found him huddled in the straw, half-starved, an from that moment Tommo belonged with Ike Twelvetrees.
Now he belongs with us.
I realize he’s said somethin. Sorry, I says, I missed that.
A little smile curves his mouth. Was there … somethin else? he says.
My face flushes hot. I bin starin at him all this time an he’s half-naked. He’ll git the wrong idea fer sure.
No, I says. Uh … no no, that’s all. See you later.
I git to my feet an head back to the yard. Aware that he’s watchin me go. If that had bin anybody else, I’d say he was flirtin with me. Albeit in a bashful, not sure of hisself kinda way. But Tommo don’t flirt. He’s way too serious.
An he’d never play such a mean trick. Still. I gotta use my head fer this, not jest my heart an gut. We’ll go to Edenhome tonight. I’ll watch how he is. Drop a few hints. See what happens.
I follow the sounds of a hammer on metal an find Peg bangin some bit of a car into shape fer a washtub. She barks at me she’s busy, she’s promised it to some Steward fer quick delivery. But I ask her anyways. Could she hold off ridin her junk circuit fer a day or two an stay with Emmi while the rest of us go off? I ain’t hardly finished when she’s gabblin, Yes yes, why didn’t you ask me in the first place? Which don’t make no sense, but Peg rarely does. An quick as a wink she’s downed tools an rushed off to the field on top of the hill. Any excuse to mess about with that aircrate of hers.
I fill my tin from Slim’s never-stop stewpot. Then I climb the ladder to Peg’s ropewalk. I sit myself down, hemmed in by birdcages, an look out over the Lanes. I’m dog-hungry. I shovel it down. But fer all my hunger, I’m done with it after a few bites. My belly’s too jittered to eat.
I know not everythin is about me. But, when you git right down to it, I’m a uneasy sun fer anybody to be circlin. Particularly them I depend on most. Creed. Ash. Tommo. Molly. Mercy. Slim. Even Emmi an Lugh. Somehow or other, my actions have scorched the souls of every last one of ’em. So far, I’ve jest about managed to keep ’em with me. But maybe not fer much longer.
