Rain
Page 20
“Let’s go,” Yuki said.
Jun had drawn a glass of water and nothing had happened. He’d drawn the snakes and they hadn’t turned on him or us.
“Katie’s daydreaming,” Tanaka laughed, reaching for my wrist and pulling me along.
Jun wore that spiky bracelet, but I hadn’t seen as many scars on his arms. Ikeda had some scars, too, but Jun...the only wounds I’d seen on him were the welts where he’d carved the kanji into his skin.
Tomohiro was something else. Jun was right. He’d always been right.
We went through the torii gate and toward the station.
“You’re so quiet,” Yuki said. “Everything okay?”
“It’s fine,” I said.
“I knew Tomo-kun should have come with us,” Tanaka laughed. “She’s been love-struck by your brother.”
“Gross!” Yuki squealed.
Tomo. I had to call him. I had to tell him.
But I couldn’t. He was with Shiori, and I was with Yuki and Tanaka. And what would I tell him? Bad news, I’ve figured out you really are doomed. You’re descended from the kami ruler of Hell.
I tried to calm myself down. It was just a theory. I didn’t have any proof, except that it all made sense.
When we reached the station, Yuki and Tanaka waved goodbye. I waited for a minute, staring at the road home. Tomo would still be with Shiori, but I couldn’t keep this to myself.
I took off running, but not toward Diane’s.
It was nearly dark when I reached Katakou School. It was stupid of me to come. Jun wouldn’t still be here, would he?
I stood by the gate, unwilling to step onto school property. I’d seen the way Yuki had got on Shiori’s case. I know she’d been trying to protect me, but I didn’t want to risk a student scolding me that way.
I peered past the gate to the bike racks for the school.
Jun’s sleek black motorbike was parked beside them.
The school was still lit up for various clubs. It wasn’t unusual to have activities running so late at a Japanese high school. Anyway, it was only just past dinnertime—not that late, even if the sun was setting.
I walked across the courtyard, hoping the darkening sky would hide the color of my uniform.
I passed a group of girls carrying tennis rackets and suddenly recognized one.
“Hana?”
Hana looked up, a racket in her hand and a tennis ball in the other.
“Hey, the American girl,” she said. “Takahashi’s friend. Sorry, I can’t remember your name.”
“Katie,” I said. “Is Jun—is Takahashi around?” Which name did they really use, anyway?
“Yeah,” she said. “Prefecture tournament is this weekend. He’s drilling the younger kendouka.”
Hana led me to the gym, but everything was silent. She opened the door and peered in. “Practice is over, I guess.”
So I’d missed him. “But his motorbike’s out front.”
She shrugged. “Maybe he’s getting changed. You could wait for him if you want.”
“Thanks,” I said. We walked back to the courtyard, and Hana waved as she left with her Tennis Club friends. I sat on a bench beside the bike racks, watching his motorbike and waiting. I looked like some stupid girl with a crush, I knew that. I bet that’s what Hana thought, especially after I’d called him Jun, but she hadn’t said anything about it. Maybe she liked that I used his first name, the way I used hers, reminding her of her time in California. Or maybe she was just being polite.
Susanou. Why hadn’t I thought of it before? Tomo wasn’t like the other Kami. He couldn’t hide his power the way they could. He was falling apart in front of me. The huge vacant eyes, the shinai he was willing to strike me with...it was Susanou. It had to be.
I heard footsteps and the school door slamming closed. Jun. His earring glinted in the dusk light, his blond highlights almost glowing against the darkness of the rest of him. He’d changed out of his school uniform into a pair of dark jeans and a T-shirt, a fur-lined vest overtop. The fur was a bit much, but I guess I really didn’t understand Japanese fashion. It looked kind of cool, or extravagant or something, like he was a J-Pop idol.
He approached his motorbike, throwing his book bag over the handle. That’s when he noticed me on the bench, as he hunched over his bike.
“Bikkurishita,” he breathed. I’d startled him.
“Jun,” I said. The name was strange as I said it. It’s our secret. But calling him Takahashi would sound weirder and get me another lecture. “Sorry, it’s me.”
“Is everything okay?” he said. “Yuu—is he—”
“He’s okay,” I said. “But I needed to talk to you.”
“Of course.” He sat down beside me on the bench, a little too close, and it was like the heat of him turned my face red. I wanted to move away, but it would come across as rude. And it wasn’t like I was uncomfortable—I just felt guilty. Here I was running to Jun yet again behind Tomo’s back.
But Tomo was the reason I was here.
It was all I could do to stop my voice from wavering. “I was at Sengen Jinja today, the one near Sunpu Park. And there was this shrine for this kami Ohisa-somebody. I can’t remember.” He listened to me in silence, his eyes staring into mine. I wished he wouldn’t look at me like that. I turned to look at his motorbike. Phew. That was safer. “She was the daughter of Susanou. And I started to wonder if...if maybe...”
“You’re shaking,” Jun said, his voice gentle.
I ignored him. “So remember we talked about Imperial Kami and Samurai Kami? What if that’s not the main difference? What if not all Kami are descended from Amaterasu?”
At first his face was stone, his eyes cold and dark as he thought.
“Amaterasu is the only one the imperial family ever claimed lineage from,” he said at last.
“Yeah, but who would want to admit to being descended from Susanou? I mean, no one is going to make that announcement. And there’s no royal family without scandal, right?”
“Che,” he swore, the way Tomohiro often did. The thought made me feel guilty. “So you think maybe Yuu is descended from Susanou?”
“Well, I mean, I’m not saying he’s evil,” I said. I felt sick to my stomach to hear Jun say it. I hoped I hadn’t given him some kind of ammo. “But maybe that’s why the ink won’t be controlled. I mean, when you drew that glass of water, nothing happened. Can I ask you something? Your arm. Do you...do you have scars like Tomo does?”
Jun shifted on the bench so he faced me. Our legs were almost touching, and I could feel the warmth of him next to the cool breeze of night. He lifted his right arm slowly, twisting it so I could see the underneath of his wrist. It was hard to see in the darkness if the skin looked normal. “Here,” he said, taking my hand. His touch sent a jolt through me. He placed my fingers near his elbow and gently traced them down to his wrist. His skin was warm, his arm strong like Tomo’s from all the kendo training. My fingers ran over the rough edges of the scars.
So he did have them.
“Most Kami have at least a few,” he said. But there were lots of them that bumped under my fingertips. Jun had had his share of accidents. “It’s been a while,” he said. “They’re not fresh the way they are for Yuu.”
“Oh,” I said. I pulled my hand out from under his grip. I was glad it was dark. I hoped he couldn’t see the deep pink in my cheeks. My heart sounded like it was going to beat right out of my chest.
“But the lack of control Yuu has, the explosive power...you could be onto something. I’d never thought of it before. Susanou...” He lifted his left arm to brush away the bangs that trailed over one eye, the spikes on his black bracelet gleaming in the starlight. “The kami of storms, earthquakes and Yomi, right?”
I nodded. “The World of Darkness. My friend’s brother said it translated to ‘Hell.’”
“Has Yuu ever called up any of those?”
I thought for a minute. The storm surrounding the dragon he’d drawn. The earthquakes I’d felt when I first moved to Japan. And...Hell?
“Wait,” I said. My pulse leaped and I felt sick to my stomach. “When the Yakuza tried to take Tomohiro away, the ink made this...this giant demon-face thing. It was really freaky. I didn’t see it clearly but...it scared the hell out of Ishikawa.”
“There’s your answer,” Jun said. “My god. He’s not a normal Kami.”
My heart ached. He really was the demon he’d feared. It was all worse than he even realized. I felt tears blur in the corners of my eyes. “What can we do?”
“There’s got to be a way to stabilize his power. In the meantime, the best we have is for you to stay away from him. Don’t do anything to provoke the ink.”
I nodded. He’d started drawing again, so that would help. I’d find ways to be busy, so that he wouldn’t react too strongly to me pulling away. It was horrible, but it had to happen.
“Katie,” Jun said, resting a hand on my shoulder. “You’re not alone in this, okay? We’re going to help him.”
“I know,” I said. “Thank you.”
Jun nodded. “I’ll find out what I can, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Katie, you look terrified. Let me take you home and you can get some rest.”
“It’s just...it’s a lot to take in,” I said. I could barely hold back the tears. I blinked, and one streamed down my cheek.
It was like being told to stay away from your own soul. How could I?
“Hey,” Jun said. His fingers brushed my cheek as he wiped the tear away. “We’ll figure this out, okay?”
I nodded, hoping I could hold the tears back until later.
He took my fingers gently and pulled me from the bench. He rested my hand on the motorbike with his own fingers on top, lingering just a moment too long before he went back to the genkan to get his extra helmet.
I felt so alone as I waited in the dark. Couldn’t he just hurry up so I could go home and cry my eyes out?
When he came back, he strapped the helmet on me and I straddled the bike behind him. We sped toward Shizuoka Station together and then past. I shouted my address at him and he drove me all the way home. I held on to him the whole time, like he could help me make sense of things. The wind whipped my tears away, numbing the pain.
On the steps of the mansion, I turned back to him. “Thanks,” I said, my voice like a ghost.
“I’m here for you, okay?” he said. “Tomodachi kara.”
Because we’re friends.
“Yeah,” I said. “Tomodachi kara.”
He grinned, and then he zoomed down the street, and there was nothing left around me but darkness.
* * *
“Katie, is that you?” Diane yelled from the living room. I pulled the door closed behind me and kicked off my school shoes. She appeared in the hallway, her face crumpling with concern. “Have you been crying? Your eyes are puffy.”
“I’m okay.”
“It’s that Yoshida boy, isn’t it?”
“Yuu, Diane, not Yoshida. And no.”
Diane smiled. “You’re an awful liar, Katie. Listen, I’ve had my share of boy trouble. I know.”
The tears spilled over; I couldn’t stop them.
“Oh, hon,” she said and pulled me into a tight hug. She smelled of strong perfume, but I didn’t even care. I held on to her, too. “What’s he done? I’ll snap him in two.”
I pulled back and shook my head. “It’s not his fault,” I said. “It’s just not going to work.”
Diane sighed and nodded. She kept her arm tightly around me and led me to the living room. We sat down on the edge of the ugly purple couch, but that just made me think about how Tomo and I had held on to each other that night after the Yakuza, how we’d fallen asleep on the tiny couch clutching each other. I cried harder.
“It’ll get easier,” Diane said, patting my back. “These cultural differences...they’re not as big as they seem.”
She didn’t know. How could she?
“I’ll make you some tea. Would you like that?”
“Yeah,” I sniffed.
“And I think we had some matcha cookies left. Just a minute.” Diane disappeared into the kitchen. Fixing things with food, like always. But nothing sounded better than a hot glass of tea.
From the hallway, my keitai went off.
I ignored it.
It buzzed again.
I dragged myself to my feet, walking toward the bag and pulling the keitai out.
Texts from Tomo, of course. The words were blurry through my tears.
How was Sengen? Thought about you the whole time. Tomo
My hands shook as I held the phone. God, he was so perfect. Why did he have to be a Kami? Why did it have to be like this?
I turned the keitai off and slid it back into my bag.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
* * *
I avoided him at school the next two days, taking on extra cleaning duties and getting Yuki to cover for me when he showed up at our classroom. “She already left,” she’d told him, when I was actually cleaning sinks in the bathroom. She said he’d swiped his bangs out of his eyes a little too hard and then left without a word. “He looked totally confused,” she’d said. “So why are we avoiding him?”
“I just need some space,” I’d said, which she’d translated as me being annoyed that he’d gone for dinner with Shiori. I’d reminded her it was my idea, but what else did she have to hold on to? She had no clue about the real reason.
Jun had drawn a glass of water and nothing had happened. He’d drawn the snakes and they hadn’t turned on him or us.
“Katie’s daydreaming,” Tanaka laughed, reaching for my wrist and pulling me along.
Jun wore that spiky bracelet, but I hadn’t seen as many scars on his arms. Ikeda had some scars, too, but Jun...the only wounds I’d seen on him were the welts where he’d carved the kanji into his skin.
Tomohiro was something else. Jun was right. He’d always been right.
We went through the torii gate and toward the station.
“You’re so quiet,” Yuki said. “Everything okay?”
“It’s fine,” I said.
“I knew Tomo-kun should have come with us,” Tanaka laughed. “She’s been love-struck by your brother.”
“Gross!” Yuki squealed.
Tomo. I had to call him. I had to tell him.
But I couldn’t. He was with Shiori, and I was with Yuki and Tanaka. And what would I tell him? Bad news, I’ve figured out you really are doomed. You’re descended from the kami ruler of Hell.
I tried to calm myself down. It was just a theory. I didn’t have any proof, except that it all made sense.
When we reached the station, Yuki and Tanaka waved goodbye. I waited for a minute, staring at the road home. Tomo would still be with Shiori, but I couldn’t keep this to myself.
I took off running, but not toward Diane’s.
It was nearly dark when I reached Katakou School. It was stupid of me to come. Jun wouldn’t still be here, would he?
I stood by the gate, unwilling to step onto school property. I’d seen the way Yuki had got on Shiori’s case. I know she’d been trying to protect me, but I didn’t want to risk a student scolding me that way.
I peered past the gate to the bike racks for the school.
Jun’s sleek black motorbike was parked beside them.
The school was still lit up for various clubs. It wasn’t unusual to have activities running so late at a Japanese high school. Anyway, it was only just past dinnertime—not that late, even if the sun was setting.
I walked across the courtyard, hoping the darkening sky would hide the color of my uniform.
I passed a group of girls carrying tennis rackets and suddenly recognized one.
“Hana?”
Hana looked up, a racket in her hand and a tennis ball in the other.
“Hey, the American girl,” she said. “Takahashi’s friend. Sorry, I can’t remember your name.”
“Katie,” I said. “Is Jun—is Takahashi around?” Which name did they really use, anyway?
“Yeah,” she said. “Prefecture tournament is this weekend. He’s drilling the younger kendouka.”
Hana led me to the gym, but everything was silent. She opened the door and peered in. “Practice is over, I guess.”
So I’d missed him. “But his motorbike’s out front.”
She shrugged. “Maybe he’s getting changed. You could wait for him if you want.”
“Thanks,” I said. We walked back to the courtyard, and Hana waved as she left with her Tennis Club friends. I sat on a bench beside the bike racks, watching his motorbike and waiting. I looked like some stupid girl with a crush, I knew that. I bet that’s what Hana thought, especially after I’d called him Jun, but she hadn’t said anything about it. Maybe she liked that I used his first name, the way I used hers, reminding her of her time in California. Or maybe she was just being polite.
Susanou. Why hadn’t I thought of it before? Tomo wasn’t like the other Kami. He couldn’t hide his power the way they could. He was falling apart in front of me. The huge vacant eyes, the shinai he was willing to strike me with...it was Susanou. It had to be.
I heard footsteps and the school door slamming closed. Jun. His earring glinted in the dusk light, his blond highlights almost glowing against the darkness of the rest of him. He’d changed out of his school uniform into a pair of dark jeans and a T-shirt, a fur-lined vest overtop. The fur was a bit much, but I guess I really didn’t understand Japanese fashion. It looked kind of cool, or extravagant or something, like he was a J-Pop idol.
He approached his motorbike, throwing his book bag over the handle. That’s when he noticed me on the bench, as he hunched over his bike.
“Bikkurishita,” he breathed. I’d startled him.
“Jun,” I said. The name was strange as I said it. It’s our secret. But calling him Takahashi would sound weirder and get me another lecture. “Sorry, it’s me.”
“Is everything okay?” he said. “Yuu—is he—”
“He’s okay,” I said. “But I needed to talk to you.”
“Of course.” He sat down beside me on the bench, a little too close, and it was like the heat of him turned my face red. I wanted to move away, but it would come across as rude. And it wasn’t like I was uncomfortable—I just felt guilty. Here I was running to Jun yet again behind Tomo’s back.
But Tomo was the reason I was here.
It was all I could do to stop my voice from wavering. “I was at Sengen Jinja today, the one near Sunpu Park. And there was this shrine for this kami Ohisa-somebody. I can’t remember.” He listened to me in silence, his eyes staring into mine. I wished he wouldn’t look at me like that. I turned to look at his motorbike. Phew. That was safer. “She was the daughter of Susanou. And I started to wonder if...if maybe...”
“You’re shaking,” Jun said, his voice gentle.
I ignored him. “So remember we talked about Imperial Kami and Samurai Kami? What if that’s not the main difference? What if not all Kami are descended from Amaterasu?”
At first his face was stone, his eyes cold and dark as he thought.
“Amaterasu is the only one the imperial family ever claimed lineage from,” he said at last.
“Yeah, but who would want to admit to being descended from Susanou? I mean, no one is going to make that announcement. And there’s no royal family without scandal, right?”
“Che,” he swore, the way Tomohiro often did. The thought made me feel guilty. “So you think maybe Yuu is descended from Susanou?”
“Well, I mean, I’m not saying he’s evil,” I said. I felt sick to my stomach to hear Jun say it. I hoped I hadn’t given him some kind of ammo. “But maybe that’s why the ink won’t be controlled. I mean, when you drew that glass of water, nothing happened. Can I ask you something? Your arm. Do you...do you have scars like Tomo does?”
Jun shifted on the bench so he faced me. Our legs were almost touching, and I could feel the warmth of him next to the cool breeze of night. He lifted his right arm slowly, twisting it so I could see the underneath of his wrist. It was hard to see in the darkness if the skin looked normal. “Here,” he said, taking my hand. His touch sent a jolt through me. He placed my fingers near his elbow and gently traced them down to his wrist. His skin was warm, his arm strong like Tomo’s from all the kendo training. My fingers ran over the rough edges of the scars.
So he did have them.
“Most Kami have at least a few,” he said. But there were lots of them that bumped under my fingertips. Jun had had his share of accidents. “It’s been a while,” he said. “They’re not fresh the way they are for Yuu.”
“Oh,” I said. I pulled my hand out from under his grip. I was glad it was dark. I hoped he couldn’t see the deep pink in my cheeks. My heart sounded like it was going to beat right out of my chest.
“But the lack of control Yuu has, the explosive power...you could be onto something. I’d never thought of it before. Susanou...” He lifted his left arm to brush away the bangs that trailed over one eye, the spikes on his black bracelet gleaming in the starlight. “The kami of storms, earthquakes and Yomi, right?”
I nodded. “The World of Darkness. My friend’s brother said it translated to ‘Hell.’”
“Has Yuu ever called up any of those?”
I thought for a minute. The storm surrounding the dragon he’d drawn. The earthquakes I’d felt when I first moved to Japan. And...Hell?
“Wait,” I said. My pulse leaped and I felt sick to my stomach. “When the Yakuza tried to take Tomohiro away, the ink made this...this giant demon-face thing. It was really freaky. I didn’t see it clearly but...it scared the hell out of Ishikawa.”
“There’s your answer,” Jun said. “My god. He’s not a normal Kami.”
My heart ached. He really was the demon he’d feared. It was all worse than he even realized. I felt tears blur in the corners of my eyes. “What can we do?”
“There’s got to be a way to stabilize his power. In the meantime, the best we have is for you to stay away from him. Don’t do anything to provoke the ink.”
I nodded. He’d started drawing again, so that would help. I’d find ways to be busy, so that he wouldn’t react too strongly to me pulling away. It was horrible, but it had to happen.
“Katie,” Jun said, resting a hand on my shoulder. “You’re not alone in this, okay? We’re going to help him.”
“I know,” I said. “Thank you.”
Jun nodded. “I’ll find out what I can, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Katie, you look terrified. Let me take you home and you can get some rest.”
“It’s just...it’s a lot to take in,” I said. I could barely hold back the tears. I blinked, and one streamed down my cheek.
It was like being told to stay away from your own soul. How could I?
“Hey,” Jun said. His fingers brushed my cheek as he wiped the tear away. “We’ll figure this out, okay?”
I nodded, hoping I could hold the tears back until later.
He took my fingers gently and pulled me from the bench. He rested my hand on the motorbike with his own fingers on top, lingering just a moment too long before he went back to the genkan to get his extra helmet.
I felt so alone as I waited in the dark. Couldn’t he just hurry up so I could go home and cry my eyes out?
When he came back, he strapped the helmet on me and I straddled the bike behind him. We sped toward Shizuoka Station together and then past. I shouted my address at him and he drove me all the way home. I held on to him the whole time, like he could help me make sense of things. The wind whipped my tears away, numbing the pain.
On the steps of the mansion, I turned back to him. “Thanks,” I said, my voice like a ghost.
“I’m here for you, okay?” he said. “Tomodachi kara.”
Because we’re friends.
“Yeah,” I said. “Tomodachi kara.”
He grinned, and then he zoomed down the street, and there was nothing left around me but darkness.
* * *
“Katie, is that you?” Diane yelled from the living room. I pulled the door closed behind me and kicked off my school shoes. She appeared in the hallway, her face crumpling with concern. “Have you been crying? Your eyes are puffy.”
“I’m okay.”
“It’s that Yoshida boy, isn’t it?”
“Yuu, Diane, not Yoshida. And no.”
Diane smiled. “You’re an awful liar, Katie. Listen, I’ve had my share of boy trouble. I know.”
The tears spilled over; I couldn’t stop them.
“Oh, hon,” she said and pulled me into a tight hug. She smelled of strong perfume, but I didn’t even care. I held on to her, too. “What’s he done? I’ll snap him in two.”
I pulled back and shook my head. “It’s not his fault,” I said. “It’s just not going to work.”
Diane sighed and nodded. She kept her arm tightly around me and led me to the living room. We sat down on the edge of the ugly purple couch, but that just made me think about how Tomo and I had held on to each other that night after the Yakuza, how we’d fallen asleep on the tiny couch clutching each other. I cried harder.
“It’ll get easier,” Diane said, patting my back. “These cultural differences...they’re not as big as they seem.”
She didn’t know. How could she?
“I’ll make you some tea. Would you like that?”
“Yeah,” I sniffed.
“And I think we had some matcha cookies left. Just a minute.” Diane disappeared into the kitchen. Fixing things with food, like always. But nothing sounded better than a hot glass of tea.
From the hallway, my keitai went off.
I ignored it.
It buzzed again.
I dragged myself to my feet, walking toward the bag and pulling the keitai out.
Texts from Tomo, of course. The words were blurry through my tears.
How was Sengen? Thought about you the whole time. Tomo
My hands shook as I held the phone. God, he was so perfect. Why did he have to be a Kami? Why did it have to be like this?
I turned the keitai off and slid it back into my bag.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
* * *
I avoided him at school the next two days, taking on extra cleaning duties and getting Yuki to cover for me when he showed up at our classroom. “She already left,” she’d told him, when I was actually cleaning sinks in the bathroom. She said he’d swiped his bangs out of his eyes a little too hard and then left without a word. “He looked totally confused,” she’d said. “So why are we avoiding him?”
“I just need some space,” I’d said, which she’d translated as me being annoyed that he’d gone for dinner with Shiori. I’d reminded her it was my idea, but what else did she have to hold on to? She had no clue about the real reason.
