Raze
Page 27
A chill ran through my body, balking at her attitude. “No—”
“No? You mean you know what he wanted it for?” she interjected.
“He said it was for…” I swallowed, knowing how damn dark it would sound.
“What?” she pushed.
I took a deep breath and said, “Revenge…” I let that word hang in the air. Even at a distance, I could feel Talia’s worry, her concern for my safety and possibly my sanity.
“Revenge?” she said quietly. “On who, for fuck’s sake?”
“I don’t know,” I whispered, feeling foolish. “But I…”
“But you what?”
“I believed him. I felt he needed it. There is just something about the guy that called to me. I can’t explain it. I feel… drawn to him…”
“Kisa! What is it with you and this guy? You’re acting insane!”
How could I explain? How can anyone ever explain the inexplicable?
The image of the hood pulling back and the reveal of his eyes had replayed endlessly through my mind. My mouth opened to tell Talia that he had the same eyes as…
But I stopped myself. I couldn’t talk about Talia’s dead brother. I couldn’t tell her this man had the same eyes… eyes that matched mine. I’d even looked up the condition early this morning when I couldn’t sleep—Heterochromia. It was a common eye condition. But his eyes were the exact color of Luka’s, the placement of the condition, that smudge of my blue on the upper left iris…
Christ! Maybe I was going insane! The pressures of living this life causing me to breakdown.
“Kisa?” Talia’s voice was lighter now. “Is this about marrying Alik? Are you acting this way because the plans are starting to turn into reality? Are you sure you want this?”
A nervous laugh bubbled up my throat as Talia trailed off, and strangely, tears sprang to my eyes. “I have no choice, Talia. You know it’s true. It’s the perfect marriage, one my father and all the Bratva are making sure happens. It’s just…”
“What?” Talia asked.
A salty teardrop trickled down my cheek. I wiped it away, chastising myself. “I always dreamed I’d marry…”
“Luka,” Talia responded in sympathy.
“I know. I’m stupid. I’m twenty-five and acting like a child.”
“No,” Talia said softly, “you simply have a broken heart. Sometimes they never heal. But…”
I sucked on my bottom lip to stop from sobbing out loud. “What?” I whispered.
“Sometimes when a heart breaks, it starts to let in the light.”
“Tal.” I cried quietly, this time allowing my tears to flow.
“Look, Kisa, I know how you felt about my brother.” She hiccupped a sob and added, “And he loved you too. It was like you were only in each other’s world. No one else existed. It was strange for being so young.”
My heart plummeted again.
“But I have to let it go. I have to marry Alik. That’s what you’re saying, right?”
“No! I mean, yes. I mean…” Talia cleared her throat. “You’ve got to move on, for your own happiness, but it’s no secret I don’t like Alik. He’s way too possessive of you, Kisa. He… he scares me. I’m afraid, for you.”
My body tensed, feeling the urge to defend Alik, to protect him. “But he needs me, Tal. He wouldn’t cope if he didn’t have me. Imagine what he’d be capable of if I wasn’t around to calm him down.”
“You know how fucked up that sounds, don’t you?” Talia replied in dismay.
“But it doesn’t make it any less true. This is all I’ve known for so long. I don’t know how to be without him anymore.”
Talia sighed. “Okay, Kisa. You’re old enough to make up your own mind.”
I nodded even though she couldn’t see me.
“Right, well, I’ve got to get more work done. The Chechens are attending this season. That means big money, Kisa, which means there can be no fuck-ups. Keep me updated on the new fighter. We’re cutting it close. Papa’s concerned.”
“I will. Speak later, Tal.”
I hung up the phone and leaned back in my chair. A knock sounded on my door. “Come in!” I shouted, and Yiv poked his head round the door.
“Miss. Volkova, we got the buy-in. He’s training with Viktor now.”
A huge feeling of relief washed through my body, and I grabbed my pen. “Thank God! Have we got a name?”
Yiv shrugged. “Viktor said he calls himself Raze.”
My eyes darted up from the Post-It note, and I frowned at Yiv. “Raze?”
“Said he didn’t have a name. Just called himself Raze.” Yiv opened the door. “He’s in the weights now if you want to talk to him.”
I nodded my head and added him to the roster at the lowest level. Newbies, unless approved by my father, did the early fights, the fights for less money. And it wasn’t uncommon for fighters to have no names; sometimes they preferred to use an alias. The only people insane enough to fight to the death were murders, serial killers, those repaying a debt to their sponsors, or the truly messed up. I was sure Alik crossed into a few of these categories… which was a disturbing thought all in itself.
Feeling I needed a walk, I decided to go check out this new fighter. Opening the door, I walked through the small, private weight rooms where the fighters were training. I was proud of the quality of this year’s contestants. The men were more ruthless and brutal than any we’d been able to secure in recent years.
“No? You mean you know what he wanted it for?” she interjected.
“He said it was for…” I swallowed, knowing how damn dark it would sound.
“What?” she pushed.
I took a deep breath and said, “Revenge…” I let that word hang in the air. Even at a distance, I could feel Talia’s worry, her concern for my safety and possibly my sanity.
“Revenge?” she said quietly. “On who, for fuck’s sake?”
“I don’t know,” I whispered, feeling foolish. “But I…”
“But you what?”
“I believed him. I felt he needed it. There is just something about the guy that called to me. I can’t explain it. I feel… drawn to him…”
“Kisa! What is it with you and this guy? You’re acting insane!”
How could I explain? How can anyone ever explain the inexplicable?
The image of the hood pulling back and the reveal of his eyes had replayed endlessly through my mind. My mouth opened to tell Talia that he had the same eyes as…
But I stopped myself. I couldn’t talk about Talia’s dead brother. I couldn’t tell her this man had the same eyes… eyes that matched mine. I’d even looked up the condition early this morning when I couldn’t sleep—Heterochromia. It was a common eye condition. But his eyes were the exact color of Luka’s, the placement of the condition, that smudge of my blue on the upper left iris…
Christ! Maybe I was going insane! The pressures of living this life causing me to breakdown.
“Kisa?” Talia’s voice was lighter now. “Is this about marrying Alik? Are you acting this way because the plans are starting to turn into reality? Are you sure you want this?”
A nervous laugh bubbled up my throat as Talia trailed off, and strangely, tears sprang to my eyes. “I have no choice, Talia. You know it’s true. It’s the perfect marriage, one my father and all the Bratva are making sure happens. It’s just…”
“What?” Talia asked.
A salty teardrop trickled down my cheek. I wiped it away, chastising myself. “I always dreamed I’d marry…”
“Luka,” Talia responded in sympathy.
“I know. I’m stupid. I’m twenty-five and acting like a child.”
“No,” Talia said softly, “you simply have a broken heart. Sometimes they never heal. But…”
I sucked on my bottom lip to stop from sobbing out loud. “What?” I whispered.
“Sometimes when a heart breaks, it starts to let in the light.”
“Tal.” I cried quietly, this time allowing my tears to flow.
“Look, Kisa, I know how you felt about my brother.” She hiccupped a sob and added, “And he loved you too. It was like you were only in each other’s world. No one else existed. It was strange for being so young.”
My heart plummeted again.
“But I have to let it go. I have to marry Alik. That’s what you’re saying, right?”
“No! I mean, yes. I mean…” Talia cleared her throat. “You’ve got to move on, for your own happiness, but it’s no secret I don’t like Alik. He’s way too possessive of you, Kisa. He… he scares me. I’m afraid, for you.”
My body tensed, feeling the urge to defend Alik, to protect him. “But he needs me, Tal. He wouldn’t cope if he didn’t have me. Imagine what he’d be capable of if I wasn’t around to calm him down.”
“You know how fucked up that sounds, don’t you?” Talia replied in dismay.
“But it doesn’t make it any less true. This is all I’ve known for so long. I don’t know how to be without him anymore.”
Talia sighed. “Okay, Kisa. You’re old enough to make up your own mind.”
I nodded even though she couldn’t see me.
“Right, well, I’ve got to get more work done. The Chechens are attending this season. That means big money, Kisa, which means there can be no fuck-ups. Keep me updated on the new fighter. We’re cutting it close. Papa’s concerned.”
“I will. Speak later, Tal.”
I hung up the phone and leaned back in my chair. A knock sounded on my door. “Come in!” I shouted, and Yiv poked his head round the door.
“Miss. Volkova, we got the buy-in. He’s training with Viktor now.”
A huge feeling of relief washed through my body, and I grabbed my pen. “Thank God! Have we got a name?”
Yiv shrugged. “Viktor said he calls himself Raze.”
My eyes darted up from the Post-It note, and I frowned at Yiv. “Raze?”
“Said he didn’t have a name. Just called himself Raze.” Yiv opened the door. “He’s in the weights now if you want to talk to him.”
I nodded my head and added him to the roster at the lowest level. Newbies, unless approved by my father, did the early fights, the fights for less money. And it wasn’t uncommon for fighters to have no names; sometimes they preferred to use an alias. The only people insane enough to fight to the death were murders, serial killers, those repaying a debt to their sponsors, or the truly messed up. I was sure Alik crossed into a few of these categories… which was a disturbing thought all in itself.
Feeling I needed a walk, I decided to go check out this new fighter. Opening the door, I walked through the small, private weight rooms where the fighters were training. I was proud of the quality of this year’s contestants. The men were more ruthless and brutal than any we’d been able to secure in recent years.
