Raze
Page 63
My blood turned to ice when I heard he’d killed Rodion for power. His father had ordered him dead so his son would be next in line.
Jesus Christ!
“And me?” I whispered, numbly. “Why the fuck are you setting me up?”
Footsteps approached and our fathers’ voices called our names. Alik shouted back, flopping back onto the ground, but not before he smiled at me and said, “Because I needed someone to blame and I want what you have.”
I shook my head in confusion. “What—”
“She was always meant for me, not you. I need her. She’s the only one who calms me down. She’s the only one who stops the voices in my head that tell me to hurt people. And her being obsessed with you is getting in the way of making her mine.”
I stumbled back as what he said registered in my mind.
Kisa.
He killed Rodion for power and was framing me for… Kisa? Before I knew it, I was on top of him, ignoring the blood pouring from his stomach, punching at his face.
“You won’t hurt her, you sick fuck! You’ll leave her alone! You’re insane! You should be locked up!”
Alik smiled at me as I beat his face, like he wasn’t feeling the blows. I stilled in shock and he slipped the dagger in my hand.
A man came bursting through the trees, and seeing his son dead on the ground, he dropped to his knees. All I could do was watch as he tried to bring him back to life, then scream into the air when the CPR didn’t work.
Another man came through next.
The men saw me on Alik, my fists coated with blood, my mouth tight with anger. I got to my feet and stumbled back until my ass hit the ground. My legs wouldn’t move as I took in the scene. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t speak to explain… my best friend was dead.
One of the men rushed forward and ran to Alik on the ground, then I noticed the men’s eyes slam to me, then to my side.
Turning my head slowly, I glanced down at what they were all staring at and saw the bloodied dagger under my splayed hand.
I opened my mouth to try and explain what happened, but just as I did, Rodion’s papa got to his feet, blood covering his coat, the move pulling my attention.
“Luka, what have you done?”
*****
“Luka! Luka!” Kisa’s panicked voice cut into the night. “Breathe, breathe… You’re not breathing. Try and calm down.”
I focused on Kisa’s face, on her hand stroking back my hair. Finally able to move, I lifted my hand and took hers in mine.
“What is it, lyubov moya? What did you remember?” Kisa asked, and I could hear the nerves in her voice. “You’re scaring me.”
“D-Durov,” I stuttered out. “Durov killed Rodion, stabbed himself, then pinned all the blame on me.”
Chapter Eighteen
RAZE
Kisa’s hand began shaking as she held mine, and I saw her face pale, the reality of that fact hitting home just as the dam of my blocked-out past broke and memories came flooding out, blindsiding me.
“Rodion,” I whispered, feeling like I’d just taken a punch to the kidney. “Rodion was my best friend, wasn’t he? We were like brothers. Yes? Is that—”
I watched tears fall from Kisa’s eyes. My eyes grew wider as I pictured Rodion’s features: light-brown hair, blue eyes. I dreamed of him sometimes. He was the boy in my dreams. His features had always been blurred, and I was unable to ever make out his identity. But now I could picture him with crystal clarity. I knew him. I—
Shit…
I looked at Kisa again. She was slumped over, her back shaking with the force of her tears. And then in my mind, I saw her and Rodion together: at church, at the beach, round a table, by their father’s side…
Lifting my hand and pressing it on her back, I swallowed hard. “He… Rodion was your brother, wasn’t he? Fuck, Kisa, Rodion was your blood.”
A sob slipped from Kisa’s mouth and she slumped onto the sand. Crawling forward, I covered Kisa with my body and wrapped my arms around her waist. She leaned into my arms and cried harder, her hands reaching out to grip onto my thighs while I tried to breathe through the memories of my past hitting me with the force of a truck.
“Kisa,” I murmured. “Durov killed him… He killed him…”
Another loud sob ripped from her throat and she began shaking. Pushing herself upright with her hands on my thighs, Kisa lifted her head. Her beautiful face was red and wet with her tears.
“No! I always thought his death must have been an accident. A misunderstanding. Some other explanation. I-I—” Reaching out, she gripped my biceps, desperation in her expression. “Why? Why did Alik kill him? What had Rodion ever done to him? I don’t understand! They were friends!”
I squeezed my eyes shut, holding my breath like I could force the memory.
“Please remember. Please remember,” Kisa begged.
The Volkov heir’s no more. I did what my papa commanded.
Dragging in a gasp, I looked at Kisa and suddenly saw a man’s face in my head. He was tall, dark, older, a fucking evil glint in his eyes. Just like the guards, I thought. He had that sadistic, controlling look in his eyes that the guards always wore.
“His papa,” I said, and Kisa could only blink. “His papa told him to take out the heir… so he would be next in line. So he could lead when he was old enough.”
“No,” Kisa said, shaking her head. “No! Abram wouldn’t do that. He loved Rodion!”
Jesus Christ!
“And me?” I whispered, numbly. “Why the fuck are you setting me up?”
Footsteps approached and our fathers’ voices called our names. Alik shouted back, flopping back onto the ground, but not before he smiled at me and said, “Because I needed someone to blame and I want what you have.”
I shook my head in confusion. “What—”
“She was always meant for me, not you. I need her. She’s the only one who calms me down. She’s the only one who stops the voices in my head that tell me to hurt people. And her being obsessed with you is getting in the way of making her mine.”
I stumbled back as what he said registered in my mind.
Kisa.
He killed Rodion for power and was framing me for… Kisa? Before I knew it, I was on top of him, ignoring the blood pouring from his stomach, punching at his face.
“You won’t hurt her, you sick fuck! You’ll leave her alone! You’re insane! You should be locked up!”
Alik smiled at me as I beat his face, like he wasn’t feeling the blows. I stilled in shock and he slipped the dagger in my hand.
A man came bursting through the trees, and seeing his son dead on the ground, he dropped to his knees. All I could do was watch as he tried to bring him back to life, then scream into the air when the CPR didn’t work.
Another man came through next.
The men saw me on Alik, my fists coated with blood, my mouth tight with anger. I got to my feet and stumbled back until my ass hit the ground. My legs wouldn’t move as I took in the scene. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t speak to explain… my best friend was dead.
One of the men rushed forward and ran to Alik on the ground, then I noticed the men’s eyes slam to me, then to my side.
Turning my head slowly, I glanced down at what they were all staring at and saw the bloodied dagger under my splayed hand.
I opened my mouth to try and explain what happened, but just as I did, Rodion’s papa got to his feet, blood covering his coat, the move pulling my attention.
“Luka, what have you done?”
*****
“Luka! Luka!” Kisa’s panicked voice cut into the night. “Breathe, breathe… You’re not breathing. Try and calm down.”
I focused on Kisa’s face, on her hand stroking back my hair. Finally able to move, I lifted my hand and took hers in mine.
“What is it, lyubov moya? What did you remember?” Kisa asked, and I could hear the nerves in her voice. “You’re scaring me.”
“D-Durov,” I stuttered out. “Durov killed Rodion, stabbed himself, then pinned all the blame on me.”
Chapter Eighteen
RAZE
Kisa’s hand began shaking as she held mine, and I saw her face pale, the reality of that fact hitting home just as the dam of my blocked-out past broke and memories came flooding out, blindsiding me.
“Rodion,” I whispered, feeling like I’d just taken a punch to the kidney. “Rodion was my best friend, wasn’t he? We were like brothers. Yes? Is that—”
I watched tears fall from Kisa’s eyes. My eyes grew wider as I pictured Rodion’s features: light-brown hair, blue eyes. I dreamed of him sometimes. He was the boy in my dreams. His features had always been blurred, and I was unable to ever make out his identity. But now I could picture him with crystal clarity. I knew him. I—
Shit…
I looked at Kisa again. She was slumped over, her back shaking with the force of her tears. And then in my mind, I saw her and Rodion together: at church, at the beach, round a table, by their father’s side…
Lifting my hand and pressing it on her back, I swallowed hard. “He… Rodion was your brother, wasn’t he? Fuck, Kisa, Rodion was your blood.”
A sob slipped from Kisa’s mouth and she slumped onto the sand. Crawling forward, I covered Kisa with my body and wrapped my arms around her waist. She leaned into my arms and cried harder, her hands reaching out to grip onto my thighs while I tried to breathe through the memories of my past hitting me with the force of a truck.
“Kisa,” I murmured. “Durov killed him… He killed him…”
Another loud sob ripped from her throat and she began shaking. Pushing herself upright with her hands on my thighs, Kisa lifted her head. Her beautiful face was red and wet with her tears.
“No! I always thought his death must have been an accident. A misunderstanding. Some other explanation. I-I—” Reaching out, she gripped my biceps, desperation in her expression. “Why? Why did Alik kill him? What had Rodion ever done to him? I don’t understand! They were friends!”
I squeezed my eyes shut, holding my breath like I could force the memory.
“Please remember. Please remember,” Kisa begged.
The Volkov heir’s no more. I did what my papa commanded.
Dragging in a gasp, I looked at Kisa and suddenly saw a man’s face in my head. He was tall, dark, older, a fucking evil glint in his eyes. Just like the guards, I thought. He had that sadistic, controlling look in his eyes that the guards always wore.
“His papa,” I said, and Kisa could only blink. “His papa told him to take out the heir… so he would be next in line. So he could lead when he was old enough.”
“No,” Kisa said, shaking her head. “No! Abram wouldn’t do that. He loved Rodion!”
