Real Vampires Live Large

Page 47

“We need a dog park, a fenced area where we can leave our pets while we worship.” A man knelt down and held the dustpan while the woman swept chunks of cake into it.
“You bet we do.” Another man whipped out his cell phone. “I’m calling Pastor John right now. He’ll love the idea. Maybe we could have a bake sale”—laughter from the crowd—“to raise funds for it.”
I guess the church’s happiness message worked because no one threatened to call the dogcatcher. And Valdez had made a huge mess.
I plucked a pink frosting rose from the top of his head and, sue me, but I tasted it. What, you think I worry about germs? Mmm. Sweet. I resisted downing the whole thing, especially when I felt someone watching me. I turned and saw Richard standing in the doorway, his mother right beside him. Flo stayed on the other side of the room, as far away from flying frosting as she could get.
“Uh, I’m really, really sorry. My dog is usually very well behaved.”
“That’s okay, honey. If you’re single, you should join the group in the Twilight Room. After you clean up the dog, that is. The singles are enjoying a late supper. Nice group of folks, some men and women about your age and some older.”
My age? If she only knew. “Thanks, maybe next week.”
Richard was beside me in a flash. “We’re both really sorry about the mess.” He slung an arm around me, implying we were a couple. Hmm.
The woman wadded up the dirty tablecloth and shook her head. “A shame about the cake, though. It was going to be dessert for the singles later.”
“Wait. Let me pay—” I dug in my purse.
“I’ve got it, Gloriana.” Richard’s mother pressed a wad of cash into the woman’s hand. “Please. Accept a donation for the group. For future desserts.”
“Wow. Thanks.” The dazed woman’s eyes widened when she realized what she held. “Next week I’ll order chocolate cake. That’s the group’s favorite. Just don’t let the dog in here. I’ve heard chocolate is bad for dogs.”
“Of course. The dog should stay in the car, shouldn’t he?” Sarah gave Richard a speaking look and he dragged Valdez out the door.
“Ready to go?” Flo was by my side.
“I really need to wash my hands.” I headed for the door clearly marked “Ladies” near the back wall. Once inside, I dabbed at pink and white frosting until I finally gave up and just licked my fingers. Delicious.
“What a disaster.” Flo pushed inside, then looked around the bathroom to make sure we were alone while I washed my hands.
“Those people were giving you the evil eye out there.”
“Yeah. Wonder if there’s another church with night services. I’m afraid we’ll be blackballed after this.” I dried my hands on a paper towel then stared at the large mirror in front of me. Of course I wasn’t seeing either one of us.
“Glory?” Flo put her hand on my shoulder.
“Valdez. What’s wrong with him? Do you think he really left that message?”
“Only if Blade told him to.” Flo reached up and pulled a piece of cake out of my hair. She sniffed, then dropped it in the trash can.
The very possibility hit me like a body blow. “What? And then Blade said ‘Let them eat cake’?” I rubbed at a spot on my skirt.
“Did you see the mess Valdez just made? Our Valdez knows we try to keep a low profile.” I gave up on the skirt.
“But, Glory, if Valdez didn’t leave that message, who did? And why?”
“Someone’s pulling my chain, Flo. Who and why? One guess.”
“Here we go again. Simon, always Simon.” Flo put her hands on her hips. “I won’t hear this.”
“Are you sure that dog is your bodyguard?” Sarah Mainwaring swept into the room, white frosting paw prints on her skirt.
“Richard says Valdez is not himself.”
“He’s right. This is totally out of character. ” I wasn’t just worried about my dog. I was getting frantic. Sure, we ’d been surrounded by people, but he was acting like a . . . dog. I handed Sarah a paper towel. “Thanks, Sarah, for taking care of the cake. I insist on reimbursing you.”
“Forget it. I’m quite able to afford it. Who knows? Maybe I’ll check out the singles group myself some Sunday night.” Sarah smiled at me, turning at Flo’s barely stifled snicker. “Perhaps you should try it as well, Florence. Richard seems to feel that your current ‘friend’ is an unsavory character. ” Sarah wet the paper towel and carefully dabbed at her skirt. Flo jerked her chin up. “I can’t imagine why you care who I see, Sarah.”
“I don’t, of course. But Richard has shared his concerns about the company you’ve been keeping.” Sarah sniffed. “Not that it should be his concern.”
Flo muttered something in Italian. Sarah muttered something back in the same language and I stepped between them.
“Maybe you should ask Simon about Valdez. If he wants to get my attention, Flo, taking out one of my guards would be a heck of a start.”
Flo turned her back on Sarah. “You always blame Simon for everything. Maybe Jeremiah tires of you. That she-devil Mara has probably been throwing herself at him. You should shape-shift. Go after your man, if you want to keep him.”
“Gee, say what you think, why don’t you?” This was my best friend? Where was the support? But then I’d done nothing but slam Simon since Flo had started going out with him. Maybe it was time for me to get smart, use some psychology. I put my hand on her shoulder.
“You’re my role model, Flo. I don’t see you chasing after a man to keep him. Am I right?”
“Of course.” Flo’s eyes shimmered and I thought she might be working up to shed a tear or two. “I’m sorry I bitched at you about this. It’s just that I’m worried about Valdez too. The phone call. Then going so crazy. This is not our Valdez. Something’s wrong with him. And if Simon did this—” Tears gone, she clenched her fists and turned to face Sarah again. “I’ll find out if Simon had anything to do with this. And if he did, he’ll make things right. I’m sure of it.” Flo turned back to me. “Will you be okay, Glory, if I leave you now?”
“Sure.” Flo was going to confront Simon? Was this a good idea? What if he punished her like he’d punished Greg Kaplan? “But, Flo, be careful.” We stepped out of the bathroom and I looked around. The place was clean again, and didn’t that make me feel guilty? It was deserted, but I could hear laughter coming from the Twilight Room. Sarah frowned down at her damp skirt. “I’m late for my book club and, after wading through that boring literary novel, I’m not going to miss it. Richard can give you my telephone number, Gloriana. Call me sometime and we’ll talk.”
“Book club?” Flo and I stared after her as she breezed out the door.
“Of course. Lady Sarah Mainwaring has a club for everything. ” Flo shook her head. “That woman’s a barracuda, Glory. She’ll take a chunk out of you if she thinks you’re hurting her baby boy.”
I laughed. Now that I had my dog back, a dog who’d probably just been indulging his food obsession, I felt like I could deal with anything.
“Come on, Flo. Richard doesn’t strike me as a mama’s boy.” The idea of Richard being anyone’s baby boy was ludicrous.
“Maybe not. But Sarah can afford to spring for a few cakes. While Richard goes around saving the world from bad vampires, who do you think pays the bills? She has an investment club too.” Flo sighed. “Look at you. Your dress is a disaster.” She ran a hand through her hair. “I’d better not have cake in my hair.”
“You don’t. What about my hair?” Not that I really cared. For once how I looked meant zilch. Flo knew it too. She put her own dress at risk to give me a hug.
“You look good considering what you’ve just been through. The dog has much to answer for. But if Simon did something to him . . .”
“Don’t go throwing around accusations, Flo.” I grabbed her arm. “Be careful how you handle Simon. He’s got some powerful stuff going on out there. He ever mention Honoria?”
“Another woman?” Flo laughed. “Of course not. Relax, Glory. I’ve been handling men for centuries.” Flo pulled a lipstick from her purse and expertly reapplied it. “I will get the truth from him.” She winked. “One way or another.”
“No VV tonight?” I know, I know. I’m not her mother. But I have a little experience with addiction. And my best bud was showing some signs . . .
“I said I would do without it, didn’t I?” She sighed. “I don’t like seeing you worried about Jeremiah. Do you really think he would just dump you? Get real, Glory. And for Mara, the ice queen? That woman would freeze a man’s balls off.”
Hmm. If Blade had dumped me for Mara, I hoped his balls spent eternity in permafrost. My stomach rumbled and I didn’t think it was from icing. None of this added up. No way did Valdez leave that message. Someone else had to have done it. Otherwise, why was there still a black Labradoodle outside waiting for me?
“I think it was a prank. Someone’s trying to upset me. The last time we talked, Jerry and I were getting along very well. ” Like orgasmically well.
“Now you make sense. No silly doubts about Jeremiah. He adores you.” Flo looked down at my skirt and frowned. “I’ll miss this church. Nice people. I think I saw a vampire in the singles group too.” She pulled open the door and headed out. I followed her. Richard stood outside the door, a subdued Valdez beside him. A few people still talked nearby, single smokers who wanted a last drag before they went inside to mix and mingle.
“Bad dog. You know how to stay.” I said this for our audience. “Let’s go. No treat for you tonight.”
“You’ll be lucky if he doesn’t toss his cookies, I mean cake, when he’s in the car.” The smokers laughed.