Reap
Page 28
The female carefully moved forward and gently got down to her knees. She reached down for my hand and threaded her fingers through mine. I stared at our joined hands and felt warmth wrap around my body.
“Look at me,” the female said. I lifted my head.
She brought our joined hands to lie over her chest. With my palm against her skin, I could feel her heart racing.
I gazed into her dark brown eyes and she explained, “I don’t have a number.” My eyebrows pulled down. She didn’t have a number? I didn’t understand. Her hand squeezed mine. “My name is Talia. I have a name, not a number.”
My eyes dropped as I tried to understand how she had a name. Her hand tugged on mine. “Do you understand? Do you understand that I don’t have a number?”
I nodded my head slowly. I saw her take a deep breath. Her eyes fell to my chest, to my number. “Do you … do you know your name?”
Confusion fogged my mind. My name? I had no name. I was 221. I was Master’s 221.
The female’s hand pressed against my cheek. As soon as it touched me I felt calmer, warmer. “Listen to me,” she whispered. “You’re safe. You’ve been freed from that man.”
My body tensed. I didn’t understand. Why was she saying these things?
“Do you understand? You’ve been freed,” the female repeated. I looked into her eyes, but I could sense in her no lie.
Dropping my head, my heart beat faster as I thought of the word “free.” I was free? From Master. From …
But when I looked around the dark room, it looked like everywhere else I’d ever lived. Chains. Chains trapping me to the floor. Darkness, no light, and only me for company. I was always alone.
“Look at me.” I did as the female asked.
“Do you know your name?” she repeated. I moved my hand to trace my number, when she stopped me, gripping my hand. She stared at me for a long time and asked, “Can you speak?”
A pain flashed through my head and images came to my mind.… Master hanging me to a wall with my hands behind my back. I had spoken my name. I had tried to speak.…
“You’ll never speak again!” he shouted. “You’ll never say that fucking dog name again!”
I opened my mouth, but Master pulled the chains tighter. I cried out in pain as my arms pulled further back, my shoulders on fire with pain.
“You’re not that name anymore. You won’t speak ever again. You’ll be silent. You’re 221, and you’re under my command!” The chains pulled harder and harder until my arm snapped from the socket and I screamed out in pain. My body hung from the wall, my head bowing forward to Master.
Don’t talk. Don’t talk ever again, I told myself. Master will bring pain if you do.…
I gasped as sweat poured from my head. The female moved in closer and wiped at my face with her hand. “Breathe,” she soothed, “breathe.”
I looked into her eyes and saw them shining.
I could talk. I used to talk. But I wasn’t allowed to talk now.
She sat back and watched me. “Your name?” she whispered, wiping the wetness from her face.
I glanced down and my stomach clenched as I tried to push words from my mouth. I opened my mouth. The female held her breath. My eyes searched the room for Master. I’d be punished if I talked.
“It’s okay,” the female again soothed. “Speak. No one will hurt you. You’re safe. You’re finally safe.” I wanted to speak. I wanted to please her. I didn’t want her to leave.
I cleared my throat and it felt raw. But I could feel my voice. I startled—I had a voice. Master wasn’t here to take my voice.
The female’s hand squeezed mine, still lying over her heart. She repeated, “My name is Talia, who are you?”
Squeezing her hand back, I forced my voice to work. It croaked, “2 … 2 … 1…”
The female sat back and sucked in a breath. A few tears streamed down her cheeks, but as I was about to back away, thinking I’d hurt her, her lips moved and she smiled even though her lips trembled.
“You speak,” she said in relief. “You can speak. And your accent…” She blushed, but shook her head, lip curling. She seemed … happy?
“Can you say my name?” she asked. I concentrated on her mouth as she said, “Talia.”
I listened to the sounds. I rolled them around my mind, and said, “Tal … Tal … i … a…” A relieved sigh burst from her mouth. She moved until she was right in front of me.
I stared at her face, her pretty face, her soft eyes, entranced by the way she looked at me. I put my finger to her heart, then put my finger over mine, and I asked, “You are … for me?”
A whoosh of air passed through her parted lips. Her words caught in her throat. Her dark eyes shone brightly as water filled them, soaking her long black lashes.
Slowly, her hands moved to each side of my face and threaded in my long wet hair. I held my breath, heart beating loudly. Then, she did something I’d never felt before, she pressed her lips to my forehead.
I swallowed at the feeling this press of her lips brought to my heart. The sun. Something inside of me told me it was like the feel of the sun shining on my face.
I frowned as that thought crossed my mind. I did not remember standing out in the sun, head tipped back as it warmed my face, but something inside told me that I had done it once, or a lot, I did not know.
The female broke away. Her finger drifted down and traced over my number tattoo. Her long lashes fluttered, and she said, “This is a slave number given to you as a child. What was done to you was sick, twisted, and very, very wrong. They, that man, called you by this number your whole life. But you had a name. You still have a name.”
I stilled, something long forgotten trying to push through to my mind.
A name. A name? I have a name?
I’d always been 221.
I am 221.
I am Master’s 221.
I am—
“Zaal,” the female said suddenly. My body tensed, a wash of pain stabbing at my flesh. “Your name is Zaal. Do you remember?”
I clenched my jaw as it hurt to think of that name. Zaal.
I slumped, out of breath. Tal … Talia’s arms wrapped around me. I thought of what she’d said. I was free. Master wasn’t here. I had a name. Zaal. So much raced through my head. I pulled away. I turned my attention to my chains against the wall and felt ice cold.
I wasn’t free. She was lying.
Talia sat back in surprise and abruptly, I moved. I could see the hurt etched in her face, but she was lying. …
“Zaal—” she spoke, and reached for my arm. I pulled it back with a snarl, giving her my back.
Anger ran through my veins, fire building in my stomach. Master was punishing me, I knew this. Giving me this female, getting her to make me believe I was free. I was being punished. He was punishing me for something. I just didn’t know what I’d done wrong.
Getting to my feet, I walked back to my chains. The water with which Talia had cleansed me was still pooled on the dark hard surface.
I sat beside my chains, on the cold wet floor, my back against the wall. I kept my head down. Master would soon be here to punish me.
“Zaal?” Talia’s voice questioned. She had quieted, her voice barely above a whisper.
“Look at me,” the female said. I lifted my head.
She brought our joined hands to lie over her chest. With my palm against her skin, I could feel her heart racing.
I gazed into her dark brown eyes and she explained, “I don’t have a number.” My eyebrows pulled down. She didn’t have a number? I didn’t understand. Her hand squeezed mine. “My name is Talia. I have a name, not a number.”
My eyes dropped as I tried to understand how she had a name. Her hand tugged on mine. “Do you understand? Do you understand that I don’t have a number?”
I nodded my head slowly. I saw her take a deep breath. Her eyes fell to my chest, to my number. “Do you … do you know your name?”
Confusion fogged my mind. My name? I had no name. I was 221. I was Master’s 221.
The female’s hand pressed against my cheek. As soon as it touched me I felt calmer, warmer. “Listen to me,” she whispered. “You’re safe. You’ve been freed from that man.”
My body tensed. I didn’t understand. Why was she saying these things?
“Do you understand? You’ve been freed,” the female repeated. I looked into her eyes, but I could sense in her no lie.
Dropping my head, my heart beat faster as I thought of the word “free.” I was free? From Master. From …
But when I looked around the dark room, it looked like everywhere else I’d ever lived. Chains. Chains trapping me to the floor. Darkness, no light, and only me for company. I was always alone.
“Look at me.” I did as the female asked.
“Do you know your name?” she repeated. I moved my hand to trace my number, when she stopped me, gripping my hand. She stared at me for a long time and asked, “Can you speak?”
A pain flashed through my head and images came to my mind.… Master hanging me to a wall with my hands behind my back. I had spoken my name. I had tried to speak.…
“You’ll never speak again!” he shouted. “You’ll never say that fucking dog name again!”
I opened my mouth, but Master pulled the chains tighter. I cried out in pain as my arms pulled further back, my shoulders on fire with pain.
“You’re not that name anymore. You won’t speak ever again. You’ll be silent. You’re 221, and you’re under my command!” The chains pulled harder and harder until my arm snapped from the socket and I screamed out in pain. My body hung from the wall, my head bowing forward to Master.
Don’t talk. Don’t talk ever again, I told myself. Master will bring pain if you do.…
I gasped as sweat poured from my head. The female moved in closer and wiped at my face with her hand. “Breathe,” she soothed, “breathe.”
I looked into her eyes and saw them shining.
I could talk. I used to talk. But I wasn’t allowed to talk now.
She sat back and watched me. “Your name?” she whispered, wiping the wetness from her face.
I glanced down and my stomach clenched as I tried to push words from my mouth. I opened my mouth. The female held her breath. My eyes searched the room for Master. I’d be punished if I talked.
“It’s okay,” the female again soothed. “Speak. No one will hurt you. You’re safe. You’re finally safe.” I wanted to speak. I wanted to please her. I didn’t want her to leave.
I cleared my throat and it felt raw. But I could feel my voice. I startled—I had a voice. Master wasn’t here to take my voice.
The female’s hand squeezed mine, still lying over her heart. She repeated, “My name is Talia, who are you?”
Squeezing her hand back, I forced my voice to work. It croaked, “2 … 2 … 1…”
The female sat back and sucked in a breath. A few tears streamed down her cheeks, but as I was about to back away, thinking I’d hurt her, her lips moved and she smiled even though her lips trembled.
“You speak,” she said in relief. “You can speak. And your accent…” She blushed, but shook her head, lip curling. She seemed … happy?
“Can you say my name?” she asked. I concentrated on her mouth as she said, “Talia.”
I listened to the sounds. I rolled them around my mind, and said, “Tal … Tal … i … a…” A relieved sigh burst from her mouth. She moved until she was right in front of me.
I stared at her face, her pretty face, her soft eyes, entranced by the way she looked at me. I put my finger to her heart, then put my finger over mine, and I asked, “You are … for me?”
A whoosh of air passed through her parted lips. Her words caught in her throat. Her dark eyes shone brightly as water filled them, soaking her long black lashes.
Slowly, her hands moved to each side of my face and threaded in my long wet hair. I held my breath, heart beating loudly. Then, she did something I’d never felt before, she pressed her lips to my forehead.
I swallowed at the feeling this press of her lips brought to my heart. The sun. Something inside of me told me it was like the feel of the sun shining on my face.
I frowned as that thought crossed my mind. I did not remember standing out in the sun, head tipped back as it warmed my face, but something inside told me that I had done it once, or a lot, I did not know.
The female broke away. Her finger drifted down and traced over my number tattoo. Her long lashes fluttered, and she said, “This is a slave number given to you as a child. What was done to you was sick, twisted, and very, very wrong. They, that man, called you by this number your whole life. But you had a name. You still have a name.”
I stilled, something long forgotten trying to push through to my mind.
A name. A name? I have a name?
I’d always been 221.
I am 221.
I am Master’s 221.
I am—
“Zaal,” the female said suddenly. My body tensed, a wash of pain stabbing at my flesh. “Your name is Zaal. Do you remember?”
I clenched my jaw as it hurt to think of that name. Zaal.
I slumped, out of breath. Tal … Talia’s arms wrapped around me. I thought of what she’d said. I was free. Master wasn’t here. I had a name. Zaal. So much raced through my head. I pulled away. I turned my attention to my chains against the wall and felt ice cold.
I wasn’t free. She was lying.
Talia sat back in surprise and abruptly, I moved. I could see the hurt etched in her face, but she was lying. …
“Zaal—” she spoke, and reached for my arm. I pulled it back with a snarl, giving her my back.
Anger ran through my veins, fire building in my stomach. Master was punishing me, I knew this. Giving me this female, getting her to make me believe I was free. I was being punished. He was punishing me for something. I just didn’t know what I’d done wrong.
Getting to my feet, I walked back to my chains. The water with which Talia had cleansed me was still pooled on the dark hard surface.
I sat beside my chains, on the cold wet floor, my back against the wall. I kept my head down. Master would soon be here to punish me.
“Zaal?” Talia’s voice questioned. She had quieted, her voice barely above a whisper.
