Reaper's Stand
Page 9
Then he whispered a number that made my eyes widen. That was pizza money and then some.
“That per visit or per week?”
He laughed, and we both knew he had me.
“Per visit,” he said. “But you work around my schedule. I can be flexible, but I don’t want you out here cooking on nights I won’t be around.”
“Why don’t you just get one of your club girlfriends to do it?” I asked, wondering if I’d lost my mind. But having my crews seven days a week out at The Line? That would add up fast … The club paid top dollar, and like I said—they paid it in cash.
“Because they’re little girls with dreams and plans and bullshit,” he said, a hint of humor in his voice. “You’re a grown-up. You know this doesn’t end with wine and roses, whatever happens between us. When I don’t need you anymore, you keep the shifts at The Line so long as things stay drama-free. Got me?”
“Nothing is going to happen but cleaning and cooking,” I said quickly. “I have a boyfriend.”
Hayes pressed forward into me, and I felt the hard heat of him all along my back, so hot I thought my spine might melt. His erection dug into my bottom and I bit my lip to distract myself—otherwise I’d start grinding back against him like a cat in heat. Then he kissed my neck, tongue tracing along my jaw, and his teeth caught my ear. I moaned, desire twisting up from between my legs, swelling my breasts and hardening my nipples.
“Unless you plan on skipping your potluck, time to go,” Hayes whispered, giving his hips a slow twist. “And next time you see your boyfriend? Tell him I said hi.”
FRIDAY NIGHT
“Everything okay?” Nate asked, softly ending our kiss. We were at his place and I’d had a couple of glasses of wine, along with the very nice steak dinner he’d cooked for me. Now we were out on his back deck, me on a lounger and him on me, legs tangled together in the warm summer air.
This was it. Tonight we’d be having sex.
Why wasn’t I more excited about this? Guilt.
“I guess so,” I said, running a hand up and around his neck. Studying his face, I tried to smile but it felt all off.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, pulling away.
“Nothing.”
He snorted, then flopped down on his back next to me.
“You can’t lie for shit, Loni,” he said. “Just spit it out, okay?”
I sighed, but figured if I really wanted to build something with this man, I owed him the truth. “I felt very attracted to someone else this week and now I feel guilty and horrid.”
I don’t know what I expected—maybe that he’d be upset? Nate didn’t even blink.
“Did you do anything about it?”
“No,” I replied. “I didn’t. But I wanted to.”
“Who was it?”
I swallowed.
“Reese Hayes,” I said slowly. “And he wants me to keep coming out to his place to clean. He offered me a really good cleaning contract for the MC’s strip club, too.”
Nate frowned, but he didn’t blow up at me. In fact, I couldn’t read him at all. Rolling over, I leaned up on my elbow and reached down hesitantly to trace the lines of his face. He seemed lost in thought, and I wondered if I’d ruined everything.
I hoped not.
Nate was perfect for me—sexy and smart with a good job and plans for the future. And I wanted him physically, there was no question about that. We’d been making out for ten minutes and my panties were soaked, but lying was no way to build a relationship.
“C’mere,” he said, sitting up. Then he caught my hand and pulled me to my feet, gesturing toward a deck chair. I sat as he handed me my glass of wine. He sighed, running a hand through his hair.
“I really blew it, didn’t I?” I asked hesitantly. I felt moisture prickling my eyes. Why had I been so stupid?
“I don’t know,” he said slowly. “Did you? You say you didn’t do anything.”
“No, I didn’t,” I said. “I got the hell out. But I don’t feel right sleeping with you unless I’m honest.”
“Do you actually want to sleep with me? Or do you want Hayes?”
“I want to sleep with you,” I said firmly, because it was true. “I think maybe I’ve gone so long without sex it’s making me crazy. I like you a lot, Nate. I can see us together in the future and it’s a good thing. I don’t want to mess that up before it even starts. But I’m not sure where we even stand. Are we exclusive? I realized this week that we’ve never even talked about it. Maybe we should.”
His gaze pinned mine, eyes assessing.
“We aren’t exclusive,” he said finally, and my heart clenched. “So I don’t have any right to say you did something wrong. But I’d like to be exclusive. What would you think of that?”
“Have you been seeing anyone else?”
“Not for the past couple weeks. But I won’t lie—up to that point I was still going out on the occasional date. And I think it’s normal—even healthy—to experience attraction toward other people. Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean your body turns off.”
Well, that wasn’t exactly romantic. I’m not sure why I felt so let down … It wasn’t like I’d expected a declaration of undying love. In fact, it should’ve made me feel better, because obviously I hadn’t done anything too heinous. Not if he’d been seeing other women up until two weeks ago.
“So where do we go from here?”
Nate laughed.
“Bed, hopefully,” he said. “I want to be with you, Loni. Exclusively. But only if you want that, too. We’re both adults here, and I’d like to think we’ve outgrown our romantic delusions. Being with you makes me happy and I can see a future for us. If that’s how you feel, I’d love to be with you.”
Now my heart clenched in a good way. I smiled at him and he grinned back, reaching forward to catch my hand. Lifting, he kissed my palm.
“Of course, if you insist on just using me for sex, I’ll make the best of it.”
I burst out laughing as he pulled me up and caught me in a long, hard kiss. This time it felt right, like a bubble had popped and whatever lingering guilt and weirdness I felt about Reese evaporated. I dug my fingers into Nate’s beautiful hair and gave myself over to the sensation of his tongue exploring my mouth.
So what if Reese was utterly lickable in every way? He wasn’t real, not like Nate. Reese wanted a quick roll in the sheets, no strings. Nate wanted a partner.
My boyfriend was perfect. I didn’t need—or want—anyone else.
Parenting sucks.
My phone started blaring Jessica’s ringtone thirty seconds after we fell into bed, Nate’s leg thrust between mine and his hands burrowing under my bra. I ignored it because she was eighteen years old and she could darned well survive on her own for an hour or two.
Then the phone rang again.
Nate groaned.
“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but maybe you should check it?” he said. “Could be an emergency.”
“She better be dying,” I said with a scowl, reaching out for it blindly and almost knocking over Nate’s bedside lamp in the process. I found the phone right as it went to voice mail, flopping back on the bed and staring at the little screen in disgust.
Then Nate’s phone went off.
“What the hell? I’m not on call this weekend. If I have to go in to work, someone’s getting shot tonight,” he muttered, climbing over me as he grabbed for his shirt, digging through the pockets.
“Guess that’s what we get for trying to have a real date,” I said, feeling a deeply inappropriate laugh fighting to escape. Nate just looked so … frustrated. Poor man.
“I wonder if I can get disability for blue balls?” he said, grabbing the phone and answering it. “Evans here.”
He stalked off to the bathroom as I looked back at my own phone. Might as well see what fresh trouble Jessica had gotten herself into. There were two missed calls, one from Jess and one from Mellie. No messages. Great. I hit the callback button and Jessica answered.
“Loni, I need you to come and get me,” she said, sounding defiant. Fantastic—I recognized that tone. Jess had gotten herself into trouble and she didn’t want to admit she’d made a mistake, so she was going on the attack.
“Where are you?”
“Out at the Reapers clubhouse.”
I froze. “What are you doing out there?”
“Just come and get me,” she said, hanging up the phone. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Nate stepped out of the bathroom, his face a mixture of annoyance and apology.
“I have to go in,” he said. “Apparently we had two guys on work release from the jail walk off this afternoon. Not violent offenders, but it’ll be a PR nightmare if the paper gets hold of it before we’ve got them back in custody.”
“Jessica’s got herself in trouble again, too,” I said, sighing. “Some date. We can’t catch a break, can we?”
He shook his head, and then I started giggling. He glared at me, a reluctant smile crossing his face.
“I think the universe is determined to keep me from getting laid,” he said finally.
“Would love to say you’re imagining that,” I told him, pulling on my shirt. “But I think you might be right. Call me tomorrow?”
“Yeah,” he muttered. He ran a hand through his hair. “Sorry. Shitty timing tonight.”
He stepped into me and I wrapped my arms around him in a long hug. It turned into a kiss that didn’t exactly help the situation. Nate might not be Reese Hayes, but he was here and he was mine and I wanted to have sex with him. Instead I tugged free and reached for my jeans.
Like I said, being a parent sucks.
My mood was ugly as I drove out to the Reapers clubhouse for the second weekend in a row. Sure, Nate and I had managed to end our date with a laugh, but I’d just about had it with Jess and her games.
Reese Hayes pissed me off, too.
He’d promised Jess wouldn’t be allowed back into the clubhouse, and I’d scrubbed his stupid toilets to seal the deal. Apparently his promises didn’t mean shit, because here we were again. That’s when my phone rang again. I grabbed it, answering without even looking to see who it was.
“Got your girl here,” Hayes’s voice purred in my ear. “I’m taking her over to your house. She says you’re on a date. Think you can ditch lover boy long enough to meet us?”
“You don’t need to do that,” I said, frowning at myself. Of course he’d call being all helpful right after I’d been thinking bad things about him … “I’m headed out to the Armory right now. I’ll grab her there.”
“Already in the truck,” he said. “We’re having a nice little chat along the way—I’m explaining what the words ‘stay the hell away’ mean. See you in a few.”
He hung up on me and I groaned. Jessica would pay for this. I. Was. Done. Done. I couldn’t keep fighting her—if the girl was truly determined to destroy herself, I couldn’t stop it.
The realization hit me so suddenly that I swerved the van and nearly went off the road.
I couldn’t control Jess and I needed to stop trying.
Holy cow. That changed everything.
My job had been to raise her and I’d given it my all, but the little brat was actually right about one thing. Legally she was an adult. I could offer her advice and make sure she had access to health care, but I really couldn’t stop her from destroying herself.
The thought was both terrifying and liberating.
Implications swirled through my brain as I pulled up to my little house, which was located right on the edge of town, near Fernan. I could be free now … Free to move on with life. Free to stop living my entire life around one young woman’s whiplash hormones and emotions and crazy mood swings.
Shivering, I wondered if that made me a horrible person, because my overriding feeling on this was relief.
I parked next to Reese Hayes’s big black truck. Light blazed through the windows of my place, a 1950s cinder block with three tiny bedrooms, one bath, and zero character. I’d grown up in it with Amber, who’d come to live with us when her mom went to prison. In some ways it was more Jessica’s home than mine, because she’d been there on and off since birth. I’d only moved back in six years ago when Mom had passed on. She’d had a heart attack, right after Amber’s near-fatal overdose. Suddenly I’d been left alone with a child who needed a real parent, one who knew what she was doing.
Instead she got me.
I heard voices as I approached the door, which was open a crack. (The frame had swollen up last winter and never quite gone back to normal, so you really had to fight to close it all the way. It was sandwiched on the repair list between fixing the car and replacing the oven.)
“Your cousin deserves better than this,” I heard Hayes saying, and I couldn’t help but smile. Glad someone noticed my efforts. “If she’s smart, she’ll kick you out.”
“She’ll never kick me out,” Jess declared, and her voice sounded a little smug. A little slurred, too … Had she been drinking? Probably. “She’d feel guilty. She’ll always take care of me because she has to—you don’t know shit about us.”
He snorted.
“You think she takes care of you out of guilt?” he asked. “Nope—she loves you, although I can’t quite figure out why. You need to decide what you want to do with your life, because you can’t just drain her dry forever. Sooner or later she’ll be done with you.”
“That per visit or per week?”
He laughed, and we both knew he had me.
“Per visit,” he said. “But you work around my schedule. I can be flexible, but I don’t want you out here cooking on nights I won’t be around.”
“Why don’t you just get one of your club girlfriends to do it?” I asked, wondering if I’d lost my mind. But having my crews seven days a week out at The Line? That would add up fast … The club paid top dollar, and like I said—they paid it in cash.
“Because they’re little girls with dreams and plans and bullshit,” he said, a hint of humor in his voice. “You’re a grown-up. You know this doesn’t end with wine and roses, whatever happens between us. When I don’t need you anymore, you keep the shifts at The Line so long as things stay drama-free. Got me?”
“Nothing is going to happen but cleaning and cooking,” I said quickly. “I have a boyfriend.”
Hayes pressed forward into me, and I felt the hard heat of him all along my back, so hot I thought my spine might melt. His erection dug into my bottom and I bit my lip to distract myself—otherwise I’d start grinding back against him like a cat in heat. Then he kissed my neck, tongue tracing along my jaw, and his teeth caught my ear. I moaned, desire twisting up from between my legs, swelling my breasts and hardening my nipples.
“Unless you plan on skipping your potluck, time to go,” Hayes whispered, giving his hips a slow twist. “And next time you see your boyfriend? Tell him I said hi.”
FRIDAY NIGHT
“Everything okay?” Nate asked, softly ending our kiss. We were at his place and I’d had a couple of glasses of wine, along with the very nice steak dinner he’d cooked for me. Now we were out on his back deck, me on a lounger and him on me, legs tangled together in the warm summer air.
This was it. Tonight we’d be having sex.
Why wasn’t I more excited about this? Guilt.
“I guess so,” I said, running a hand up and around his neck. Studying his face, I tried to smile but it felt all off.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, pulling away.
“Nothing.”
He snorted, then flopped down on his back next to me.
“You can’t lie for shit, Loni,” he said. “Just spit it out, okay?”
I sighed, but figured if I really wanted to build something with this man, I owed him the truth. “I felt very attracted to someone else this week and now I feel guilty and horrid.”
I don’t know what I expected—maybe that he’d be upset? Nate didn’t even blink.
“Did you do anything about it?”
“No,” I replied. “I didn’t. But I wanted to.”
“Who was it?”
I swallowed.
“Reese Hayes,” I said slowly. “And he wants me to keep coming out to his place to clean. He offered me a really good cleaning contract for the MC’s strip club, too.”
Nate frowned, but he didn’t blow up at me. In fact, I couldn’t read him at all. Rolling over, I leaned up on my elbow and reached down hesitantly to trace the lines of his face. He seemed lost in thought, and I wondered if I’d ruined everything.
I hoped not.
Nate was perfect for me—sexy and smart with a good job and plans for the future. And I wanted him physically, there was no question about that. We’d been making out for ten minutes and my panties were soaked, but lying was no way to build a relationship.
“C’mere,” he said, sitting up. Then he caught my hand and pulled me to my feet, gesturing toward a deck chair. I sat as he handed me my glass of wine. He sighed, running a hand through his hair.
“I really blew it, didn’t I?” I asked hesitantly. I felt moisture prickling my eyes. Why had I been so stupid?
“I don’t know,” he said slowly. “Did you? You say you didn’t do anything.”
“No, I didn’t,” I said. “I got the hell out. But I don’t feel right sleeping with you unless I’m honest.”
“Do you actually want to sleep with me? Or do you want Hayes?”
“I want to sleep with you,” I said firmly, because it was true. “I think maybe I’ve gone so long without sex it’s making me crazy. I like you a lot, Nate. I can see us together in the future and it’s a good thing. I don’t want to mess that up before it even starts. But I’m not sure where we even stand. Are we exclusive? I realized this week that we’ve never even talked about it. Maybe we should.”
His gaze pinned mine, eyes assessing.
“We aren’t exclusive,” he said finally, and my heart clenched. “So I don’t have any right to say you did something wrong. But I’d like to be exclusive. What would you think of that?”
“Have you been seeing anyone else?”
“Not for the past couple weeks. But I won’t lie—up to that point I was still going out on the occasional date. And I think it’s normal—even healthy—to experience attraction toward other people. Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean your body turns off.”
Well, that wasn’t exactly romantic. I’m not sure why I felt so let down … It wasn’t like I’d expected a declaration of undying love. In fact, it should’ve made me feel better, because obviously I hadn’t done anything too heinous. Not if he’d been seeing other women up until two weeks ago.
“So where do we go from here?”
Nate laughed.
“Bed, hopefully,” he said. “I want to be with you, Loni. Exclusively. But only if you want that, too. We’re both adults here, and I’d like to think we’ve outgrown our romantic delusions. Being with you makes me happy and I can see a future for us. If that’s how you feel, I’d love to be with you.”
Now my heart clenched in a good way. I smiled at him and he grinned back, reaching forward to catch my hand. Lifting, he kissed my palm.
“Of course, if you insist on just using me for sex, I’ll make the best of it.”
I burst out laughing as he pulled me up and caught me in a long, hard kiss. This time it felt right, like a bubble had popped and whatever lingering guilt and weirdness I felt about Reese evaporated. I dug my fingers into Nate’s beautiful hair and gave myself over to the sensation of his tongue exploring my mouth.
So what if Reese was utterly lickable in every way? He wasn’t real, not like Nate. Reese wanted a quick roll in the sheets, no strings. Nate wanted a partner.
My boyfriend was perfect. I didn’t need—or want—anyone else.
Parenting sucks.
My phone started blaring Jessica’s ringtone thirty seconds after we fell into bed, Nate’s leg thrust between mine and his hands burrowing under my bra. I ignored it because she was eighteen years old and she could darned well survive on her own for an hour or two.
Then the phone rang again.
Nate groaned.
“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but maybe you should check it?” he said. “Could be an emergency.”
“She better be dying,” I said with a scowl, reaching out for it blindly and almost knocking over Nate’s bedside lamp in the process. I found the phone right as it went to voice mail, flopping back on the bed and staring at the little screen in disgust.
Then Nate’s phone went off.
“What the hell? I’m not on call this weekend. If I have to go in to work, someone’s getting shot tonight,” he muttered, climbing over me as he grabbed for his shirt, digging through the pockets.
“Guess that’s what we get for trying to have a real date,” I said, feeling a deeply inappropriate laugh fighting to escape. Nate just looked so … frustrated. Poor man.
“I wonder if I can get disability for blue balls?” he said, grabbing the phone and answering it. “Evans here.”
He stalked off to the bathroom as I looked back at my own phone. Might as well see what fresh trouble Jessica had gotten herself into. There were two missed calls, one from Jess and one from Mellie. No messages. Great. I hit the callback button and Jessica answered.
“Loni, I need you to come and get me,” she said, sounding defiant. Fantastic—I recognized that tone. Jess had gotten herself into trouble and she didn’t want to admit she’d made a mistake, so she was going on the attack.
“Where are you?”
“Out at the Reapers clubhouse.”
I froze. “What are you doing out there?”
“Just come and get me,” she said, hanging up the phone. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Nate stepped out of the bathroom, his face a mixture of annoyance and apology.
“I have to go in,” he said. “Apparently we had two guys on work release from the jail walk off this afternoon. Not violent offenders, but it’ll be a PR nightmare if the paper gets hold of it before we’ve got them back in custody.”
“Jessica’s got herself in trouble again, too,” I said, sighing. “Some date. We can’t catch a break, can we?”
He shook his head, and then I started giggling. He glared at me, a reluctant smile crossing his face.
“I think the universe is determined to keep me from getting laid,” he said finally.
“Would love to say you’re imagining that,” I told him, pulling on my shirt. “But I think you might be right. Call me tomorrow?”
“Yeah,” he muttered. He ran a hand through his hair. “Sorry. Shitty timing tonight.”
He stepped into me and I wrapped my arms around him in a long hug. It turned into a kiss that didn’t exactly help the situation. Nate might not be Reese Hayes, but he was here and he was mine and I wanted to have sex with him. Instead I tugged free and reached for my jeans.
Like I said, being a parent sucks.
My mood was ugly as I drove out to the Reapers clubhouse for the second weekend in a row. Sure, Nate and I had managed to end our date with a laugh, but I’d just about had it with Jess and her games.
Reese Hayes pissed me off, too.
He’d promised Jess wouldn’t be allowed back into the clubhouse, and I’d scrubbed his stupid toilets to seal the deal. Apparently his promises didn’t mean shit, because here we were again. That’s when my phone rang again. I grabbed it, answering without even looking to see who it was.
“Got your girl here,” Hayes’s voice purred in my ear. “I’m taking her over to your house. She says you’re on a date. Think you can ditch lover boy long enough to meet us?”
“You don’t need to do that,” I said, frowning at myself. Of course he’d call being all helpful right after I’d been thinking bad things about him … “I’m headed out to the Armory right now. I’ll grab her there.”
“Already in the truck,” he said. “We’re having a nice little chat along the way—I’m explaining what the words ‘stay the hell away’ mean. See you in a few.”
He hung up on me and I groaned. Jessica would pay for this. I. Was. Done. Done. I couldn’t keep fighting her—if the girl was truly determined to destroy herself, I couldn’t stop it.
The realization hit me so suddenly that I swerved the van and nearly went off the road.
I couldn’t control Jess and I needed to stop trying.
Holy cow. That changed everything.
My job had been to raise her and I’d given it my all, but the little brat was actually right about one thing. Legally she was an adult. I could offer her advice and make sure she had access to health care, but I really couldn’t stop her from destroying herself.
The thought was both terrifying and liberating.
Implications swirled through my brain as I pulled up to my little house, which was located right on the edge of town, near Fernan. I could be free now … Free to move on with life. Free to stop living my entire life around one young woman’s whiplash hormones and emotions and crazy mood swings.
Shivering, I wondered if that made me a horrible person, because my overriding feeling on this was relief.
I parked next to Reese Hayes’s big black truck. Light blazed through the windows of my place, a 1950s cinder block with three tiny bedrooms, one bath, and zero character. I’d grown up in it with Amber, who’d come to live with us when her mom went to prison. In some ways it was more Jessica’s home than mine, because she’d been there on and off since birth. I’d only moved back in six years ago when Mom had passed on. She’d had a heart attack, right after Amber’s near-fatal overdose. Suddenly I’d been left alone with a child who needed a real parent, one who knew what she was doing.
Instead she got me.
I heard voices as I approached the door, which was open a crack. (The frame had swollen up last winter and never quite gone back to normal, so you really had to fight to close it all the way. It was sandwiched on the repair list between fixing the car and replacing the oven.)
“Your cousin deserves better than this,” I heard Hayes saying, and I couldn’t help but smile. Glad someone noticed my efforts. “If she’s smart, she’ll kick you out.”
“She’ll never kick me out,” Jess declared, and her voice sounded a little smug. A little slurred, too … Had she been drinking? Probably. “She’d feel guilty. She’ll always take care of me because she has to—you don’t know shit about us.”
He snorted.
“You think she takes care of you out of guilt?” he asked. “Nope—she loves you, although I can’t quite figure out why. You need to decide what you want to do with your life, because you can’t just drain her dry forever. Sooner or later she’ll be done with you.”
