Rebel Heart
Page 64
I wave my hand to speak.
I ain’t finished, he says. He takes a deep breath. I ain’t comin with you, Saba.
Tears spring to my eyes.
I’m sorry, he says. You came all this way fer me. But it didn’t work out like I thought. It was a long shot. I never bin much good at playin them. Yer gonna go to the Big Water with yer family. I want you to have a good life. I’m gonna stay in these parts an do what I can to stop this. If I don’t, one day they’ll reach yer land of milk an honey an I don’t want that.
I watch him while he speaks. His high cheekbones, his shadow of a beard, his gorgeous crooked nose. The little dip in his top lip. His silver, moonlight eyes.
Okay, that’s the main points, he says. Now I’m gonna kiss you.
He takes his hand away. He kisses me.
I’d almost fergot how it feels to be kissed by Jack. To be touched by him. To be held by him. The fierceness of it. The tenderness. The tinglin all over my body, like lightnin’s about to strike me. How we fit together, chest to chest, thigh to thigh. Like we was made fer each other.
He brings me alive. He lets me breathe. He’s open skies an wide spaces.
Now that I’m here, with him, I cain’t believe that I lay with DeMalo. That I freely gave myself to him. Jack never betrayed me. I betrayed him.
Nobody’s like I thought they was. Nuthin’s like I figgered it. Nuthin’s like I thought it would be.
Tears spill down my cheeks. He brushes ’em away with his thumb. Kisses ’em away with his lips. That only makes it worse. I thump him on the chest. Hard. I rest my forehead aginst his. Gawdammit, Jack, I says.
A soft knock on the door. Maev comes in. Sorry, she says. Time to go.
Come away from here now, I says. Come with us. We’ll help you git away. At least do that.
He shakes his head. I got somethin I gotta do, he says.
What? I swipe my eyes on my sleeve.
He smiles. I do like you in a dress, he says.
Please, Jack, I whisper.
Off you go, he says.
My heart breaks. I hear it break. I feel it.
I sit on the window sill. I grab the rope. We look at each other, one last time.
G’bye, Saba, he says.
You sonofabitch, I says.
I swing myself around, an I go.
I go down a couple of handholds. Then I stop. Still so close. I could go back. Make him change my mind. Tell him—
I cling to the rope. Rest my head on my hands an screw my eyes shut. I won’t cry, I will not cry. Somebody below gives the rope a jerk. I look down. Creed motions me to hurry.
No. He’s made his choice an it ain’t me. A surge of strength, of purpose, kicks through my body. I start to climb down towards the boat below. Now I’m movin fast. Too fast. My jerky movement sets the rope swingin. I swing out an then – I cain’t believe it – straight towards the closed shutters of a window on the second floor. The sleepin quarters. I swing straight into the shutters an hit ’em with a loud thump. I freeze to the rope as it swings out over the lake agin.
The shutters fly open. Bang aginst the stone with a crack that splits the quiet night. A Tonton blinks at me, sleepy eyed. Jest woke up. Big, meaty fella.
I glance down. Too far to jump. No choice.
Knock knock, I says.
I swing towards him, feet first, my legs held stiff. Straight into his chest. He tumbles backwards into the room. A cell bedroom. I jump in after him. He starts to scramble to his feet, yellin fer help. I leap into a split kick an catch him unner the chin. He spins off, arms flyin, an bangs face first into the wall. He falls on his back, out cold.
I leap over him, open the door an head fer the stairs in the middle. Behind me, I can hear cell doors startin to slam open.
A girl! someone yells. In a red dress!
As I reach the stairs, Jack’s already on his way down from the floor above, Maev at his heels. Down! he says. All the way!
The sound of doors slammin open. More yellin. Poundin feet. Shouts of, Intruder!
We cain’t afford a fight, says Jack. Go left at the bottom.
The sound of shots behind us.
We race along the kitchen corridor. Duckin unner men with trays, knockin over boys with pots. Startled faces turn to look. Collared slaves, not Tonton. Stay where you are! Jack yells at ’em.
We burst through a door. We’re outside. Straight ahead, a long platform juts out over the lake. It’s the landin stage. There’s wooden barrels piled on top of each other. We run to the edge of the platform an look down. We look at each other. It’s gotta be a fifty foot drop to the water.
Lucky you can swim, says Jack.
Where’s Maev? I says.
We whirl around. She’s behind us. She stands in the doorway. Her right hand braced aginst the frame. Th’other hand pressed hard into her left side. Her blood’s on the loose. Her life soaks away into her shirt, her britches. It drips on to the floor. My eyes meet hers an there I read her end.
Maev! I run to her.
She’s unbucklin her weapons belt. Gimme yer dress, she says. That’s all they know, a girl in a red dress. Help me. Move!
No, I says, but I’m already yankin my dress over my head, pullin it over hers.
Put my belt on top, she says. Pull it in tight. Tighter. As I do, she cries out in pain. Okay, she gasps, okay.
I’ll draw ’em off, says Jack. Good luck, Maev. Then he’s gone. I can hear him yellin, This way! an blowin his whistle.
Help me, she says, over there. We stagger behind the barrels. She starts checkin her two bolt shooters. Now, git outta here. She unhooks one of Slim’s pinballs from her belt. As far as you can, she says, as fast as you can.
No, I says, I ain’t leavin you. I won’t leave you, Maev.
It’s okay, she says, really. I must be crazy, but I’m happy. Fer the first time in a long while, I’m doin what I know to be right.
She pulls herself up to stand tall. Jest like the first time I seen her back at Hopetown. Her copper tangle of hair hangin down her back. Head held high. Maev, the warrior queen.
Please, Maev, no. I got tears in my eyes as I hug her neck.
I got no idea what all this means, Saba, she says. Maybe you’ll figger it out.
I kiss her lips. Don’t let ’em take you, I whisper.
She smiles. I’m a Free Hawk, she says. Go.
I turn an run straight offa the end of the platform. I leap into the air. An as I soar through the darkness, high above the lake, Maev starts to shoot.
Creed pulls me outta the cold of Glasswater Tarn. I crouch in the front of the boat, shakin, wrapped in a blanket. He took a soakin too, but he warn’t in so long as me an he’s tough as rope.
He paddles a path to the top of the lake, keepin to the shadowy shoreline. We don’t talk. The other two boats – with Ash an Lugh an Emmi, Molly an Tommo – glide along a little ways ahead. We got Emmi. No. Not we. They. Th’others got her back. I didn’t have nuthin to do with it.
Eight of us when we left Bram’s. Six of us now.
Nobody follows. The sound of gunfire goes on fer longer than I’d of thought it would. Or could. Then one big explosion. Slim’s pinball.
The sky lights up fer a long moment, a sudden blaze of angry orange that spills onto the smooth black skin of the water around us. I look back. The landin stage is gone. Where it was there’s a gapin hole in the buildin. Flames shoot into the night. DeMalo will hear that a girl in a red dress held off his men fer a time an then blew herself an them to pieces.
I ain’t finished, he says. He takes a deep breath. I ain’t comin with you, Saba.
Tears spring to my eyes.
I’m sorry, he says. You came all this way fer me. But it didn’t work out like I thought. It was a long shot. I never bin much good at playin them. Yer gonna go to the Big Water with yer family. I want you to have a good life. I’m gonna stay in these parts an do what I can to stop this. If I don’t, one day they’ll reach yer land of milk an honey an I don’t want that.
I watch him while he speaks. His high cheekbones, his shadow of a beard, his gorgeous crooked nose. The little dip in his top lip. His silver, moonlight eyes.
Okay, that’s the main points, he says. Now I’m gonna kiss you.
He takes his hand away. He kisses me.
I’d almost fergot how it feels to be kissed by Jack. To be touched by him. To be held by him. The fierceness of it. The tenderness. The tinglin all over my body, like lightnin’s about to strike me. How we fit together, chest to chest, thigh to thigh. Like we was made fer each other.
He brings me alive. He lets me breathe. He’s open skies an wide spaces.
Now that I’m here, with him, I cain’t believe that I lay with DeMalo. That I freely gave myself to him. Jack never betrayed me. I betrayed him.
Nobody’s like I thought they was. Nuthin’s like I figgered it. Nuthin’s like I thought it would be.
Tears spill down my cheeks. He brushes ’em away with his thumb. Kisses ’em away with his lips. That only makes it worse. I thump him on the chest. Hard. I rest my forehead aginst his. Gawdammit, Jack, I says.
A soft knock on the door. Maev comes in. Sorry, she says. Time to go.
Come away from here now, I says. Come with us. We’ll help you git away. At least do that.
He shakes his head. I got somethin I gotta do, he says.
What? I swipe my eyes on my sleeve.
He smiles. I do like you in a dress, he says.
Please, Jack, I whisper.
Off you go, he says.
My heart breaks. I hear it break. I feel it.
I sit on the window sill. I grab the rope. We look at each other, one last time.
G’bye, Saba, he says.
You sonofabitch, I says.
I swing myself around, an I go.
I go down a couple of handholds. Then I stop. Still so close. I could go back. Make him change my mind. Tell him—
I cling to the rope. Rest my head on my hands an screw my eyes shut. I won’t cry, I will not cry. Somebody below gives the rope a jerk. I look down. Creed motions me to hurry.
No. He’s made his choice an it ain’t me. A surge of strength, of purpose, kicks through my body. I start to climb down towards the boat below. Now I’m movin fast. Too fast. My jerky movement sets the rope swingin. I swing out an then – I cain’t believe it – straight towards the closed shutters of a window on the second floor. The sleepin quarters. I swing straight into the shutters an hit ’em with a loud thump. I freeze to the rope as it swings out over the lake agin.
The shutters fly open. Bang aginst the stone with a crack that splits the quiet night. A Tonton blinks at me, sleepy eyed. Jest woke up. Big, meaty fella.
I glance down. Too far to jump. No choice.
Knock knock, I says.
I swing towards him, feet first, my legs held stiff. Straight into his chest. He tumbles backwards into the room. A cell bedroom. I jump in after him. He starts to scramble to his feet, yellin fer help. I leap into a split kick an catch him unner the chin. He spins off, arms flyin, an bangs face first into the wall. He falls on his back, out cold.
I leap over him, open the door an head fer the stairs in the middle. Behind me, I can hear cell doors startin to slam open.
A girl! someone yells. In a red dress!
As I reach the stairs, Jack’s already on his way down from the floor above, Maev at his heels. Down! he says. All the way!
The sound of doors slammin open. More yellin. Poundin feet. Shouts of, Intruder!
We cain’t afford a fight, says Jack. Go left at the bottom.
The sound of shots behind us.
We race along the kitchen corridor. Duckin unner men with trays, knockin over boys with pots. Startled faces turn to look. Collared slaves, not Tonton. Stay where you are! Jack yells at ’em.
We burst through a door. We’re outside. Straight ahead, a long platform juts out over the lake. It’s the landin stage. There’s wooden barrels piled on top of each other. We run to the edge of the platform an look down. We look at each other. It’s gotta be a fifty foot drop to the water.
Lucky you can swim, says Jack.
Where’s Maev? I says.
We whirl around. She’s behind us. She stands in the doorway. Her right hand braced aginst the frame. Th’other hand pressed hard into her left side. Her blood’s on the loose. Her life soaks away into her shirt, her britches. It drips on to the floor. My eyes meet hers an there I read her end.
Maev! I run to her.
She’s unbucklin her weapons belt. Gimme yer dress, she says. That’s all they know, a girl in a red dress. Help me. Move!
No, I says, but I’m already yankin my dress over my head, pullin it over hers.
Put my belt on top, she says. Pull it in tight. Tighter. As I do, she cries out in pain. Okay, she gasps, okay.
I’ll draw ’em off, says Jack. Good luck, Maev. Then he’s gone. I can hear him yellin, This way! an blowin his whistle.
Help me, she says, over there. We stagger behind the barrels. She starts checkin her two bolt shooters. Now, git outta here. She unhooks one of Slim’s pinballs from her belt. As far as you can, she says, as fast as you can.
No, I says, I ain’t leavin you. I won’t leave you, Maev.
It’s okay, she says, really. I must be crazy, but I’m happy. Fer the first time in a long while, I’m doin what I know to be right.
She pulls herself up to stand tall. Jest like the first time I seen her back at Hopetown. Her copper tangle of hair hangin down her back. Head held high. Maev, the warrior queen.
Please, Maev, no. I got tears in my eyes as I hug her neck.
I got no idea what all this means, Saba, she says. Maybe you’ll figger it out.
I kiss her lips. Don’t let ’em take you, I whisper.
She smiles. I’m a Free Hawk, she says. Go.
I turn an run straight offa the end of the platform. I leap into the air. An as I soar through the darkness, high above the lake, Maev starts to shoot.
Creed pulls me outta the cold of Glasswater Tarn. I crouch in the front of the boat, shakin, wrapped in a blanket. He took a soakin too, but he warn’t in so long as me an he’s tough as rope.
He paddles a path to the top of the lake, keepin to the shadowy shoreline. We don’t talk. The other two boats – with Ash an Lugh an Emmi, Molly an Tommo – glide along a little ways ahead. We got Emmi. No. Not we. They. Th’others got her back. I didn’t have nuthin to do with it.
Eight of us when we left Bram’s. Six of us now.
Nobody follows. The sound of gunfire goes on fer longer than I’d of thought it would. Or could. Then one big explosion. Slim’s pinball.
The sky lights up fer a long moment, a sudden blaze of angry orange that spills onto the smooth black skin of the water around us. I look back. The landin stage is gone. Where it was there’s a gapin hole in the buildin. Flames shoot into the night. DeMalo will hear that a girl in a red dress held off his men fer a time an then blew herself an them to pieces.
